God Damned Unisex Young People Make Me Nervous!
The problem with young people today is that they don’t know if they’re boys or girls.
Back when I was a lad we were damned sure about our gender. Boys played football, climbed trees and kept their emotions in check. Girls wore skirts, played with dolls and helped their mothers clean house. It made sense and it made it easy to keep track of people.
But these young people today?
The boys dye their hair, paint their lips and doll themselves up like 5th Avenue trollops out for an evening stroll. And the girls are no better. They wear slacks and short hair cuts, participate in sport and run for public office.
It’s getting so you can’t tell them apart damn it and that’s not what the Lord intended. Half the time I don’t know who I’m yelling at. If it weren’t for Adam’s apples I wouldn’t have a clue where to start for God’s sake.
And what the Hell ever happened to the words “boy” and “girl” anyway?
According to the Reader’s Digest, everyone nowadays is some form of “sexual.” “Metrosexual”…”ubersexual”…”retrosexual.” I have no idea what it means but I’m damn sure that “idiotsexual” is not only more accurate but easier to remember.
If I had ever come home slathered in mascara and eye liner, my old mom would have scrubbed my face clean with a cheese grater and then keeled over dead from the shame of it all.
These young people need to turn off their Ipods and start listening to their stereotypes. There’s a reason men and women look different, dress different and act different. It deters dangerous impulses toward self-expression and stops society from spiraling into an asexual Sodom and a genderless Gomorrah.
If this perversity keeps up, how long will it be before old men like me are be forced to sport purple beehives and wear capri pants, lip gloss and charm bracelets? And it won’t stop there. Eventually we’ll all become one blob of indiscriminate gender – one gigantic East German woman’s swim team. They’ll be no gender, no class structure and no distinctions of any kind.
And if that isn’t the blue print for Godless communism, then I don’t know what is.
They don’t know if they’re boys or girls. That’s the problem with young people today.