Comment Policy
Comment Policy
Preamble
I welcome your comments on this blog but would please ask that you read – and commit to memory – the following comment policy. (If you would prefer, you can order the comment policy on tape for $13.99 plus S&H. Elaine Stritch did the reading and I think it turned out nicely.)
Disclaimer:
The comment policy is subject to change based on whim, my mood, the phase of the moon or adjustments to my medication. Changes may occur at any time without prior notice or consultation. Changes to the policy may or may not be reflected in the written policy.
Table of Contents
Section 1 – Moronic Comments from Indignant Young People
Section 2 – Acceptable and Unacceptable Forms of “isms”
Section 3 – Choose your words carefully
Section 4 – Respect for your Elders
Section 5 – Use of Acronyms, Abbreviations and Emoticons
Section 6 – Commenting on Comments.
Section 7 – Deleting, Editing or completely rewriting comments
Section 8 – McCarthy Style Blacklisting. What are my options now?
Section 9 – Why the First 8 Sections are Irrelevant
Section 1 – Moronic Comments from Indignant Young People
I welcome moronic comments from indignant young people. They’re extremely insightful and usually very amusing. So please, get up on your hind legs and bray like the teenaged jackass God intended you to be. The more the merrier, damn it.
I get very frustrated, however, when the damned young people completely forgo punctuation and leave generally unreadable gobbledegook like this:
hey wats all ofthis i eancim on every oe knows ware they learn them from its all u parents .. i mean if u dont want them to say them then take them out of scool take away tier friends and dontcuss in frunt ofthem and donttlet thembe human .. i mean for crying out loud is a cuss word what theheack its not the endoftheworld …. ww they sed somthing their notsupose o say but t least thier getting thier feelings out on how they feel .. people just lighten up go to cherch or something geessss!!!!!!
I don’t care whether you agree with me or not but it’s damned near impossible to respond if you’ve been high on methamphetamine for 5 days before visiting. Put down the damned pipe, have a decent nights sleep and write me when you’re pupils aren’t the size of dinner plates.
Feel free to disagree with me, insult me or just go off on a tirade about generalizations, stereotypes and how my generation ruined the planet for you and your slacker friends. I won’t edit you unless you violate the terms of Sections 3 through 9 or if I just don’t like the cut of your jib.
Decent and sensible young people, of course, are always welcome to comment too.
Section 2 – Acceptable and Unacceptable Forms of “isms”
I don’t like damned “isms” and their use should be avoided at all costs. This would include making remarks that might carry the taint of sexism, racism, communism, jingoism, and of course, ageism.
Please note that I am also not fond of anthropomorphism, antidisestablishmentarianism, hedonism, priapism or animal magnetism (other forms of magnetism are acceptable provided they are used in proper context). I have a passing tolerance for Confucianism, feudalism, Gnosticism, hirsutism and journalism and would suggest they be used infrequently and only to support non-ism based arguments.
While tolerated, I would prefer not to see evidence of rednickism, vulgarism, voyeurism or the promotion of vegetarianism. Marxist-Leninism is a “no-no” as is rugged individualism. Optimism is encouraged but only if it relates to non-ism subject matter (e.g., optimism about communism would be considered a violation of commenting policy and would be subject to deletion, editing or scathing reply).
Accepted isms include McCarthyism, conformism, capitalism and Don-isms.
Orangism, nepotism and mysticism are currently under review.
Anyone using inappropriate “isms” is subject to editing, deletion and or McCarthy-era blacklisting.
Section 3 – Choose your Words Carefully
I’d prefer you not swear. It’s uncouth and a lazy way of communicating, damn it. If you must swear, use some common sense and try not to pepper your prose with too much profanity.
There are some curse words, however, that I can’t abide. As a guide, ask yourself whether your mom would have cracked you with a rolling pin if you’d used it in front of her. If the answer is “yes” than you probably don’t want to use it here. I may not have a rolling pin but I have a wide network of angry old ladies who are just looking for an excuse to track you down and beat the snot out of you.
So watch your language. Or don’t. Chances are if you’re going to swear at me you aren’t concerned about any damned comment policy anyway.
Section 4 – Respect for your Elders
Building on Section 3, and continuing on the subject of words, avoid calling me “gramps”, “grampy” or “grandpa.” I’m not your damned grandfather and grateful for it. Show some damned respect for people older, smarter and better attired then you.
If you are under 40 call me “Mr. Mills” or “Sir”. I’ll let you know if and when it is okay to refer to me by my given name.
If you are between 40 and 60, you may call me Don on your 3rd approved comment or when you sense that we have established a decent, collegial relationship.
If you are over 60 you may call me Don or Donald without receiving prior approval.
Public school friends may still call me “Stinky” and college friends may use the nickname “Scooter” if feeling nostalgic.
Section 5 – Use of Acronyms, Abbreviations and Emoticons
I have nothing against traditional abbreviations like NASA, AARP and COLGATE but I can’t stand the lazy short forms young people use in order to ease communication. And I don’t understand what any of it means. To me, BFF means Bran Flakes Forever.
Emoticons scare the hell out of me. Especially the animated ones. It’s like having the DTs without the benefit of ever having had a drink. I won’t edit them out but I don’t like them and they make me itchy.
Section 6 – Commenting on Comments
I have no problem with people taking a pot shot at me. Call me any name you like (see Section 1) but don’t demean or humiliate others unless they are ignorant young people who fully deserve it. Trust me, you’ll know it when you see it. It looks a little like this:
You know what? Go f* yourself. I’m 16 years old and i’m 6′3″.
You’re calling me a freak of nature? The way people look at me in the highschool hallway gives me the same feeling. I didn’t ask to be tall, nor do I want to be tall. If height alterations were the way you put them Don, I would have told myself to stop growing when i was 5′8″ at the age of 13.
I have my whole highschool thinking that I’m a freak. Now I have an old man’s posted blog saying that I’m a freak, that I’m sex-crazed and all that bullshit. It makes us “freakishly” tall people feel oh so great about ourselves, especially during puberty.
Am I disrespectful to my mother because I’m taller than her? I respect my mother. No one deserves more respect than she does. If being shorter than her would be more respectful, I’d cut off my legs you bastard.
So be nice and remember, playful banter is only fun until I say it isn’t.
Section 7 – Deleting, Editing or Completely Rewriting Comments
I’ve never done it but I reserve the right to edit, delete or drastically rewrite negative comments. If I do rewrite your comment and change (“doddering old bastard” into “dashing old rascal”) I may or may not acknowledge that fact.
Section 8 – McCarthy Style Blacklisting
If I’ve blacklisted you from the blog chances are you’re a 16-21 year old male who doesn’t know when to stop. I’ve only done it once but I’m prepared to do it again if you insist on being a complete assclown and hijacking the conversation of sensible adults with your inane musings.
If I blacklist you and you’re too damned stupid to understand why, send me an email. I won’t respond but it might make you feel better.
Section 9 – Why the First 8 Sections are Irrelevant
You have free reign to comment as you like but if you cross me, all bets are off and I’ll do whatever the Hell I see fit. Remember, my freedom of speech is guaranteed. Yours, not so much.
Thank you for your understanding.
Don
The Problem with Young People Today Is... 
really like that chair.
hello sir,
I read your blog and i find its very interesting..
Thank You,
Love your policy, sir. It is truly amazing! I just subscribed to your blog and I find it extremely funny. Being 27 years old and “Young” I can laugh and just enjoy all the scary truth about what you blog about.
Well, well well.
I shan’t call you Mr Mills as i don’t agree with formalities in blogging, i do however believe our comment policies (even though mine isn’t written down) are pretty damned similar (may i use damned? i noticed you use it a lot).
I am 24 and probably fall into the irate young person category in which case i apologise profusely for being born in 1986.
I feel i must point out that my use of grammar is in my personal view of respectable quality.
So i think i probably would be deemed an acceptable commenter on your blog.
However you are more than welcome to blacklist me as i do indeed intend to stop by every now and again for some cross generational banter for i feel if this was a serious blog (i think it is safe to assume it isn’t)
Our opinions would vastly differ.
Thankyou scooter, for your time
If you really value grammar as a respectable quality you should learn that the pronoun “I” should be capitalized always, not just at the beginning of the sentence as you did in your post describing your aforementioned grammar attentiveness.
@Artswebshow,
Dude, you’re just spoiling for a fight. Your entire post is passive aggressive. What are you trying to prove? Don’t be a dick.
“Section 9 – Why the First 8 Sections are Irrelevant
You have free reign to comment as you like but if you cross me, all bets are off and I’ll do whatever the Hell I see fit. Remember, my freedom of speech is guaranteed. Yours, not so much.”
Best section of them all in my opinion!!!
Hello Mr Mills. I stumbled onto your blog just last night and I think it’s hilarious!
Love the policy and note that sections 1 – 9 ( not 8 as you mentioned) can be deemed completely irrelevant based on your moods, medication dosage etc. *wink*
I’m also glad that in another year, I shall be able to start calling you Don!
Mr. Mills,
I feel nervous. While writing this comment what worries me more is not what I have to say but whether I am breaking any your rules on commenting.
Though I am in my thirties I always think about how I will be thinking and reacting in my 50’s and 60’s (if I am fortunate enough).
I this this comment policy reveals all about you.
Waiting to read more from you,
Bindu
I read these and then freaked out that I was under 21 and had accidentally not called you “sir” on one of my comments, and may have subsequently offended you … but then I saw Section Nine and it all made sense again.
Unless I am completely wrong again, in which case I will proceed to bludgeon myself with a blunt object. Let’s hope I’m not wrong for once.
P.S The sheer hilarity of everything you write never fails to amuse me – even though I am among the age-group you take such delight in verbally demolishing.
Enjoyed too much your posts. I meaned. Do you know? You are my new hero! I wold like to have the assertiveness you show in all your writings. Looking forward learn that from you.
Carlos, currently 43.
me and ma buds are gonna be on this soon.yo!
Pure genius, I need to get other people I know to read this and see if they can read between the lines. So much must be lost if people are making angry and snide comments!
I agree. Many people don’t understand spoof or satire. I’ve had people get angry at me for doing exactly that. If only they realised I agreed with them and as making the point even clearer (for the educated) by use of hyperbole and some irony.
Mr. Mills,
As I was reading through the comment policy I thought I noticed a grammatical error in Section 4. When you wrote: “…avoid calling my “gramps”…” I wonder if you meant to write “…avoid calling me…” As I am young, and you are clearly superior in every way, I may be wrong. If so, forgive me.
If it was deliberate, or if you don’t mind leaving it, I am sorry I wasted the time and space here.
Thank you Marie,
I appreciate you pointing that out. It is, indeed, an error on my part and I will correct it. However, I should point out that I would appreciate it if you did not call my grandfather. In addition to being dead for almost 80 years he was known to value his privacy.
All the best,
Don
Now that made me laugh at loud. No “lols” here. I agree very annoying abbreviations “I’m too important for full sentences.” Although I make PLENTY of typos myself I try to at least write clearly and with punctuation.
I’m starting to think the worst type of people aren’t the young or the old but people somewhere in between still too young to have common sense but old enough to be grumpy about their ignorance! Now those middle aged people are the problem of society.
I’m considering making a blog entittled exactly that “The problem with middle aged people these days is….” I’m sure that will go down well.
At this point, tears of suppressed laughter were streaming down my face – all spoiled by Beth, below.
Great blog, really funny.
Don why no updates since 2012 ? I live this style of writing
gramps, its YOU lame ass old farts that dont deservee the respect of us FUCKIN AWSOME TEENAGERS!!!!
Go sit and watch a soap opera in your dentures old man!
It’s idiots like YOU who give us teenagers a bad name.
excuse me, but i think that she is totally right at saying what she did and using the words she did. because how can we not be angered when one stupid man creates a whole blog just to insult us? and if you are not offended and think that this whole damn blog is just so smart then you are stupid too because you are insulting yourself!! he doesn’t care for you one bit more than he cares for me and you still support. that is just disgusting!!
Rashmi, I wonder if you never met or knew your great grandfather? Because I would venture to guess that he would have held the exact same opinions as Mr. Mills here. My dad did, as he was of that generation. It is instructional to listen to the opinions of others, even if, and maybe especially if, we don’t agree with them. Plus Mr. Mills is being quite sarcastic with his humor. If you look at his tags, he includes ‘satire’ and ‘humor’ as tags. He doesn’t expect us all to take him completely seriously.
Dear Donna,
As a matter of fact my great grandmother is still alive. She is 87 and she doesn’t hold the same opinion. Though she doesn’t understand a lot of what I do and maybe doesn’t like a few things, she never cribs like this. And I am really sorry about how disrespectful I sound. I am usually not like this, but this blog just infuriated me. And the tags may include ‘satire’ and ‘humor’ but I’m pretty sure that no one can go on and on like this unless they mean what they say.
Well, at least Mr. Mills is honest. He calls his blog “Crabby Old Fart.”
🙂 I guess we just see it in two different ways.
Rashmi,
Get over yourself. Humility is a virtue.
No, I think teenagers are doing a great job of giving themselves a bad name!!!! He’s only commenting on the dumb things they like to do!!!
Beth, I was a teenager, I have a teenager, and I teach teenagers. In short, I happen to LOVE teenagers. But you must realize, this blog is meant to be humorous…which it is. As a matter of fact it’s freakin’ hilarious. It’s satire, baby… Oops, you may not know that word. I will say this though, you are incredibly ill-mannered and disrespectful. Your very sophisticated “command” of the English language (i.e. words like, deservee, fuckin, and awsome) are a true testament to your benightedness. Perhaps you need to spend more time hitting the books and less time creepin’ around on people’s blogs. If you don’t like his blog, I highly suggest you don’t read it you impertinent, profane little imbecile. YOU give teenagers a bad name. I adore this man’s work and you haven’t the right to say such lewd, moronic things. 😉
Very well said, Ava!!!!
One does not watch soap operas “in” their dentures so much as they watch soap operas “around” their dentures.
This is an excellent blog. And I thought I was bad-tempered!
Love your blog, sense of humor and that chair.
Dear Mr. Mills,
I just stumbled upon your blog and love it! In fact you and my father seem to have the same sense of humour and standpoint in life. I will be forwarding this to him as I am sure it will give him a chuckle! Thank you!
Where can I order the tape? It sounds like it’d be awesome.
i totally agree!! bloody idiot!! thinks too much of himself!! why are you even on WP? and on facebook? isn’t that like the hub of the youngsters?? which you oldies started copying after you realized how awesome is? you are a good for nothing, irritating old idiot who doesn’t even reply to comments like this because he is to scared to reply!! you do realize that you are a total loser don’t you? sitting in that old chair of yours. and respect for your elders?? are you freaking kidding me?? respect is a very give-and-take kind of thing. you give us some respect and we show you some respect!! thats how it works you old fool!! and if you don’t understand that much then you do not even have the right to ask for respect!!
sadly Rashmi, you have just proven many of Mr. Mills points about young people today. You are a sad girl and quite have horrible manners. You clearly have parents who have failed to teach you how to appropriately express yourself. I am sad for your apparent lack of growth and hope that when you finish puberty, your manners will have developed.
You just proved his point. There are ways to write or talk to people that you disagree with, without using profanities and attacking the other person. Let me give you a taste of what I am talking about:
I wish to inform you, Rashmi, that I do not agree with your use of fowl language towards Mr. Mill. I realize that you are entitled to your own opinion. However, I do not believe that there is any entitlement to using profanity when there are better words to chose from. I believe you could have chosen words that would have expressed the same opinion and feeling without the use of crash words.
The above is a better example than saying:
Rashmi you’re such an idiot who can’t recognize humour and satire, probably because you were texting in class or daydreaming in class when it was taught. You’re a fuckin’ moron in your choice of language use with Mr. Mills.
See, wasn’t the first version so much nicer and less offensive?
If that’s what you think then you are entitled to have your own opinion. But in my defense, my parents have taught me quite a lot and i have good manners. I just choose not use them when i see things like this. And i guess we have different definitions of humour and i see more scorn than sarcasm in these posts. Also, if you think i’m a fucking moron then you can call me one. I don’t see the point of sugar coating everything.
And i really wish you would try to see my point of view. Most adults just think that the youth today is useless and then make blogs like this and then get upset when we get upset after reading it.
🙂
“Also, if you think i’m a fucking moron then you can call me one. “
Since you insist and because Mr Mills is too classy..
You are a fucking moron!
Rishma,
If you dislike my blog so much why the hell do you keep coming back to litter it with these damned tiring comments of yours? First I find you all over the post about nit-wit fashion and now here you are again scribbling all over my comment policy page. You’re like a bad penny, Rishma, you’re turning up everywhere.
I swear to god when I read these little rants of yours I can actually hear you stomping up the stairs, screaming at the top of your lungs, slamming your bedroom door shut in a fit of pique and then sobbing into your Frankie Avalon pillowcase. Your parents must have the patience of saints. I’d have sent you to military school ages ago.
I was quite prepared to let your first half dozen comments go because I had no interest in picking on some daft young girl but now you’ve gone and upset me, Rishma. And it’s not because of your comments – it’s because you seem to have the need to constantly defend your beliefs and are endlessly begging people to “understand your point of view.” It’s annoying as hell.
If you really had the strength of your convictions you’d call me a damned fool or “dweeb” or “noob” or whatever derogatory term you young people favor these days and then forget about me and get back to adding your insights on the relative hotness of assorted television stars to the pages of Facebook.
But this incessant need to return again and again and again to debate is just nonsense. And it just makes you look like a damned needy young person who simply craves attention and will take it in any form she can. It’s annoying, shrill, pinched and it chaps my ass.
Do yourself a favor and end this nonsense here. In the long-term, you’ll be glad you did.
Best regards and good luck in the future.
Don
I’m tired of all the arguing too. I won’t bug you from now on. And its Rashmi and not Rishma. Hope you have a nice life ahead of you.
🙂
It is half educated, imbecile twats like Reshmi, who are embarrassment to us Indians all across the world, people who don’t understand or can differentiate satire with prose, and people showing their class by their manners to others…I apologise on behalf of her to you Mr. Mills.
I don’t care what anybody says but this ‘crabby old fart’ is absolutely hilarious- and has a charm that only man his age can afford and carry best. Brilliant, brilliant.
Someday you will understand what this is all about. Mr. Mills is doing a favour to society.
Apparently Rashmi, you are entirely incapable of understanding sarcastic humour. That is too bad because it is a form of humour that tends to allow society to laugh at itself while examining its own weaknesses. But don’t give up, you’ll grow and mature and with a little good fortune you will look back at this when you are older with complete disbelief that you could have been so entirely naive.
*sigh* Don *sigh*…
Did I mention I hate being outed about my age?
No?
My bad.
Sir, you are my hero! I’m almost old enough to address you by first name. look forward to many laughs untill that day occurs!
Hi Mr. Mills. I am a mother of three sons, two of whom are teens. If you’re a crabby old fart, then I am a crabby younger fart because I have said many of the same things about dress and speech and other things to my sons. I don’t pay for my kids cell phones, don’t let them drive my car unless they can afford to pay for insurance, take off bedroom doors as punishment for slamming them and send them outside in their socks for disrespect (since i pay for their stylish walmart sneakers) and lock the door. My computers are all password protected and i moniter what they watch on tv and in movies while they are in my house. I am not the most popular mother on the block, but my boys are good kids because they got a good smack when they needed it. I am all for tough love and teaching respect, especially for their elders, which is anyone older then they are. Thanks for your blog, keep it up, it makes me laugh and also makes me not feel like I am some kind of moral alien on a planet where parents don’t seem to give a crap what their kids are up to.
Dear “anonymous”…you inspire me!!! I’m a crabby younger fart too! When you take the time to provide discipline, boundaries, and structure for your children you are simply showing them how much you love them. I am a single mother of two. I can attest to the fact that it would be much easier to sit on my butt and let them get away with things than it is to stop what I am doing and discipline them. However, I am trying to shape their character. My mother was also a single mother and a Fort Worth cop. I remember a time at Six Flags Over Texas where she swore that I rolled my eyes at her. She slapped the shit out of me in public! My mom is gone now, but I am thankful for her tough love. I say “yes/no sir and yes/no ma’am” to everyone I encounter…EVEN TEENAGERS (lol). I love that my mother cared enough to be firm with us and that she insisted that we be mannerly and respectful to our elders. She did me a great service and you are doing your children a great service as well. God bless you for choosing to be a parent, rather than choosing to be popular. Kids don’t need parents to be their friends…they have friends. They need parents to be parents! Keep up the good work! Lord KNOWS it isn’t easy, friend! 🙂
Mr.Mills, I love this blog…
Reading this reminded me of those trick-question tests I had to take in high school. In order to teach us the importance of reading directions, the very first direction would instruct us to read all directions before beginning the test. I would promptly ignore this and race through the tests, but as the questions got more and more contradictory and impossible, I’d start to realize that maybe something was wrong. Finally, after becoming utterly befuddled, I’d reach that last line of the test, which would be something like “pretend you’re working on this test until everyone is finished. If you answer 0 questions, you pass, otherwise, you fail.” It took me so many tried to finally pass one of those.
Once I got to that last bit about having complete freedom to comment however I liked, the painful memories came flooding back. What have you done to me, Mr. Mills?!
Aloha and Congrats! I think your blog is hilarious, so I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. Please go to http://pedrothecat.com/2011/11/28/versatile-blogger-kreativ-blogger-award-acceptance-nominations/ for more information.
Thank God for curmudgeonly old buggers like you and I. I have had only enough time to read two of your blogs and find them to be highly insightful. I look forward to reading more of your thoughts on the ills of today’s youth.
Dear Mr. Mills:
I wish I had a month or two of clear free time ahead just to read your blog. I have only been through the comment poilicy so far and laughed so hard I could hardly see to read to the end. You are a fabulous wit. I’m really looking forward to reading more.
I’m excited that, if this comments makes the cut, I am only two comments away from calling you Don. (Worst case scenario – I’ll be doing it in 6 years.)
Mrs. Hicks (Faye to you though!)
…and my sincere apologies for the typos…
With all due respect, You would knock out Mohammed Ali in the 6th round with this policy, had you converted it into boxing skills at your age. I love the way you have made it clear, who can comment and how to do so.
One thing for sure, us ‘the young generation’ need to enrol to your level of knowledge and style of living, we then wouldn’t have to rely on out ‘smart phones’ to make your decisions for us. Example: Beep Beep – It’s time for you to go to bed now as you do have a early morning start tomorrow at 11:59am, so put down that TV control, and walk up the steps to the first door on your right (your bedroom) and just go to sleep – or just stay where you are and put your feet up – Beep Beep.
You kind of get what I mean..
Nice work, Don (I’m not calling you this out of disrespect, only because I can’t remember your last name). You are so right about young people. The older I get the more I realise how truly irritating they are – to think I used to be one! However there is hope, because young people today spend most of the time in their rooms on their computers so at least they don’t clutter up the streets as much as they used to, and with any luck pretty soon you’ll be saying ‘young people? What young people?’. Keep on fighting the good fight!
Can I ask you one thing though? Are you really old? Or are you, like, 25 and just pretending? (which would be, like, really disappointing, dude).
Love your blog!
I have nominated you for the Kreativ Blogging award – congrats!
http://fayehicks.wordpress.com/2012/02/12/kreativ-blogger-award/
Section 3 reminds me of my dad. When I was a kid, my older brother (who was a teenager at the time), was throwing a tantrum in the basement and cursing his head off. My father stood at the top of the stairs and yelled, “Quit your Goddamn swearing, God damn it!” Ah, such fond memories.
Love your blog…. and although I know you must have a room full of them, I’m compelled to nominate you for a Versatile Blogger Award. Congratulations! You’re an inspiration.
Dear Mr. Mills;
I found your blog through a mutual fan and I am so glad to have your list of appropriate blogging etiquette I would love to cross post it to my blog – would this be acceptable to you?
On a side note, I am feeling unusual feelings of warmth toward such a well-spoken and convincing writer and only wish we could meet for some tea. Or perhaps something stronger, like single malt scotch.
Today I nominated & gave you The Versatile Blogger Award. I like your blog and thought you deserved this award. If you choose to accept the Versatile Blogger Award, there are a few things you are required to do, to pass it forward. According to the requirements of the award you must:
• Nominate 15 other bloggers
• Inform my nominees
• Share 7 random facts about myself
• Thank the one who nominated me
• Add a picture of the award to this post
To see your blog included in the award ceremony just click here…
http://aphraseyoullremember.wordpress.com/2012/02/26/accepting-an-award/
I hope you enjoy the award and accept it and pass it forward.
Hello there Mr.Mills!
I found your blog today while browsing across WordPress, and I have to say, I love it.
I’m a teenager (but barely) and I think it’s hilarious, both your blog and people’s reactions to it. Can’t they take it?
Much chuckles and appreciation,
stag and doe
Dear Mr Mills,
This is a great blog!
I read it in Clint Eastwood’s voice from the movies Gran Torino and In The Line of Fire.
His humor and distaste for young punks in those two movies mirror yours in this blog. I can’t wait to read more. Thank you for such great humor!
Sincerely,
Joe
superbiblystudy.com
i like you already Mr Mills
Hi Mr Mills, Dude, I’m kind of old too but not as old as you, with all due respect – fortunately my real friends are still of this world (did you ever have any?) – and reading your blog makes me want to think and behave like one of your well described, beloved teens and add to your inspiration, that’s how bad things are. Yep. Love your blog and O so envious of your wild creative writing ways (I know, you’re only responding to how you feel about teens but don’t be so modest:))
Good day.
Julie
I feel bad now. Antidisestablishmentarianism is my favorite ‘ism’! By the way, this is great. Very funny.
HAHAHAHAHA—that’s what your blog is, sir! I’ll be dropping by very often, though, so I hope you won’t blacklist 20 year olds in your page.
Still grinning,
Jenn.
I’d give away my Mercedes to write like you! Then again, learning to write like you would probably cost more than a new Mercedes.
Hello Mr. Mills! I found your site via a link on Mack the Writer’s blog. As a 40 year-old graduate student working towards my Masters in Mental Health Counseling with a concentration in Geriatrics, I have to say that I wholly appreciate your blog and am so grateful that Mack gave you a shout-out! I can’t wait to read more and I nearly peed myself just reading your comment policy!!
Oops…sorry! The correct title of the referring blog is Random and Sundry Things and her name is Debbi, not Mack.
Wonderful blog and being 44 I totally agree with everything you say! You should turn this blog into a book!
Great blog! Should be turned into a book!
Dear Sir,
I’m finally glad someone has set a few guidelines (Ingoring the last section of course.) to commenting! I’ve grown tired of seeing people missusing their punctuation, butchering the English language completely, and making a fool out of themselves!
Keep up the good work,
A Youngster Who Can Write Well.
Youngsters who can write well ROCK MY WORLD!!! Hooray for you!!!
-Ava
I was hesitant to comment because I’m a “young person,” but I had to just to say that stumbling upon your comment policy made my day. Can’t wait to read the rest of the blog–I don’t see how it can’t be brilliant.
My apologies, sir. I accidentally called you by your given name in my first comment. Also, when I said “preach, old man,” I was intending it to be a respectful acknowledgement of your wisdom. I will keep in line with your comment policies from now on.
Amusing blog premise. Sub specie veritatis… It would not be as successful without the pseudonym. Lest the writers are accused of having too much time on their hands, would you please explain how this is monetized?
Its a different world out here. Thank you Mr. Mills for creating it Sir.
Very funny Mr. You know Section 9 is my favorite section.
I apologize for calling you Don on my first comment, and I also apologize for my brethren(TEENAGERS) and their unintelligent, disrespectful, and very annoying attitudes.
I’m a young person (well, I’m 28-ish) and I absolutely love your blog. I have not commented before, because I was afraid you would instantly think I was one of those young, obnoxious people with nothing decent to say. In any event, I hope to read more from you soon.
I found your blog accidentally while researching for a poster for Seniors Month. I laughed until I cried – you have a real gift for humour (I’m Canadian so that’s not a typo!). I’ve worked with seniors for more than 30 years and have launched two respectful, hard working children. Yes, at one point in time my son’s pants did hang down to there and my daughter’s hair was green and purple – that’s what helped them know their own minds and make their way in the world. If any of your teen readers see this, I want to tell them that all parents raise their children to be independent and then are shocked when they indeed turn out to be independent. Enjoy being teens but respect yourselves and each other.
Dear Sir,
I have just discovered your blog and am now ecstatically happy. I am a mom of two young boys and everyday I strive to make respect the foundation of their upbringing. As soon as I have the time. I will be reading from start to finish.
Thank you, Mr. Mills, for the anticipated pleasure.
Stephanie
Mr. Mills
I have been searching for as long as I could remember the perfect way to express my irritation when people my age or any age write in such a horrible manner that I cannot understand it. When I read your line
“I don’t care whether you agree with me or not but it’s damned near impossible to respond if you’ve been high on methamphetamine for 5 days before visiting.”
I died laughing, after spitting water out over my keyboard. Thank you for taking your time to write such a hysterical blog I will be visiting as often as welcomed.
-Heather
Hello, sir. I find this absolutely hilarious, probably because I’m only 18 but also have a rolling, boiling hatred for the likes of young people. They are, for the most part, stupid, disrespectful, and responsible for the terminal degradation of modern society. Seeing that nothing can be done to extricate ourselves from their plague of idiocy, I’ll just read this blog instead. Please continue to berate them.
Although I do agree that some young people are idiots, that’s true of every generation. All you do is sit at home and make generalizing statements about the younger generation, how about when your generation was beating people because they were black? That seems pretty idiotic to me.
I think you and my mother would have gotten along famously! Read her letters and see what you think?
“To me, BFF means Bran Flakes Forever”. Hahahahahahahahahaha
Mr. Mills,
Is there a branch of government you may be running for soon? (President?) Please let me know so I can vote for you. I will even put one of those gawd-awful signs in my front yard! It’s like you just wrote a handbook for the all too uncommon, common sense.
I Look forward to reading more of your wisdom!
Mr. Mills,
I enjoy your blog immensely! I commend your skills with setting up and maintaining the blog. Even though my Grandpa fought in World War II and was tough as nails, he can’t even operate a DVD player or cellphone. You are a true Renaissance man!
http://mallumusings.wordpress.com/
So your saying that I can flood your comments sections with furry porn or links to furry porn and get away with it? I probably won’t do it, but if the situation call for it…
Thanks for that short little post on Your comment policy, Don! Was going to sleep by number 5, but somehow managed to finish the whole of it! 🙂 Kudos. You write Well. …By the way, is it true that We can Edit comments? Still learning the blogosphere. …Regards.
Dear Donald (I’m going to go ahead and forgo the 3 approved comments rule, being not only over 40 but also considerably wiser than most 40 year olds). I would like to commend you on your blog. On days when I resent being at work and would rather be fishing I often dream of the day when I can fully inhabit and embody the ‘inner’ cantankerous old man that I have gestating in my consciousness. I fully intend to live in a log cabin where I will sit on the front veranda in my pyjama pants and slippers, a loaded shotgun across my lap and a derisive sneer ready for any smart-mouthed whippersnappers who happen to cross my path.
I just discovered your blog this afternoon and intend to consider myself your unofficial apprentice until such time as you die or my own, not insubstantial ‘old manish’ skills surpass your own. One must have something to aspire to after all.
Perhaps one day we could meet and swap war stories over a sweet cherry. Until that day I wish you all the best and consider me a fan. Faithfully Yours…
Don, judging from your picture, this morning’s Cream of Wheat was too spicy for you.
How do I subscribe? I am not a “damn teenager,” but a senior with severely limited computer capabilities.
I’m 81, Don and the rools r on fleek ~s~
I love this comment!!
Don – you are SO my kind of guy! Glad I discovered your site and look forward to more. I’m a crabby old fart myself!!
Janet Byrnes
http://www.thesnarkandi.com
You know what’s ironic? That you don’t want anyone to swear when you did that yourself. Therefore, you’re no better than the people who you complained about.