God Damned Young People Just Won’t Move Out!
The problem with young people today is that they never leave home.
Back in my day, young people left home at a reasonable age and went out to make their way in the world. We were shown the door at the age of 16 and if we couldn’t find an apartment to live in were expected to build one of our own.
It made sense, damn it! Parents had suffered enough during their years of child rearing and it was considered cruel to make them endure young people a day longer then required by law.
But these young people today, they’re like cockroaches – no matter what you do, you can’t get them out of the damn house! They come up with all kinds of excuses but I suspect it’s nothing less than an elaborate young person conspiracy to drive their elders to insanity, bankruptcy and an early grave.
In my day, there was no way in Hell you’d find some mollycoddled thirty-something living in his parents basement while he tried to “find himself.” The only place he’d find himself was kicked to the curb – and he’d be better off for it. It’s no wonder these young people today all toddle around like oversized babies, they’ve been sucking at the parental teat for 30 years longer than God intended.
But the thing I really don’t understand is that when they finally do get up off their duffs and leave, they come back before the celebratory scotch has even been finished. In my day, when you moved out your parents changed the locks, put a “for sale” sign on the lawn, took a new last name and moved to Florida in the dark of night.
How the Hell do we expect our young people to grow up if they’re still sleeping in a race car bed at middle age. Honestly, we’re raising a generation of perpetual adolescents and that spells trouble for the economy, the future and the god damned social fabric of America.
They never leave home. That’s the problem with young people today.