God Damned Fornicating Teens Drive me Crazy
The problem with young people today is that they are sex crazed.
When I was a boy, sex was like playing catch with your dad after dinner. Something you were promised and looked forward to, but which was never likely to actually happen.
In my day, sex was functional, perfunctory and something you were ashamed of. We had one position and it didn’t have a name. None of this acrobatic upside-down flip-around-on-your-head with a harness, head of lettuce and store bought erection nonsense. You didn’t need to stretch beforehand for Christ’s sake.
I didn’t have sex until three years after my marriage. And even then it was unintentional. Just rolled over at an opportune moment and it was done.
But these kids today, they’re at it before they’re out of grade school. Humping each other like a bunch of mongrel dogs in perpetual heat and then boasting about it on the MySpace and YouTube. It’s demeaning, degrading and it gets my goat.
And don’t for a minute think this is just “sour grapes.” It’s not. This is a serious problem.
If someone doesn’t put a stop to this pimply rutting spree there will be dire consequences. How soon will it be before these horny monsters get bored with mounting each other and start looking for new kinds of kicks? Before you know it, teens will be humping lamp posts, mail boxes, outdoor sprinklers and unsuspecting seniors out for an innocent Sunday stroll. It will be anarchy of the most perverted kind.
They’re sex crazed. That’s what’s wrong with young people today.
The Problem with Young People Today Is... 
How do we put a stop to it, Don? And when I say we, I mean “you.”
Jesus Christ! You just say the words “mongrel dogs in perpetual heat” and the canines start coming out of the woodwork!
Honestly, Mr. Tru, I haven’t the foggiest idea. I figure I’m doing my part just pointing out the problems. It’s one of the few perks of age. Solutions, that’s a young man’s game.
Thanks for stopping in.
Yeah, these young people today are doing “it” too much. To the point where they are having babies, they’re even too sex crazed to take 2 minutes and put on protection! But, yeah, how are you going to stop this, cause right now I’m too busy with school to take the initiative.
The world is counting on you Don, stop the perpetual fornication please.
Hello again Senisco. Nice of you to come back.
As I told the young man with the dachshund head, I really don’t have any answers. However, I hate to disappoint a nice young lady like yourself so I’m going to think on it a little and see what I can come up with.
I’m thinking chaperoned socials, dress codes and fear of parents as a starting point.
Thanks again for visiting and good luck with your studies. (Hopefully visiting with me isn’t part of a student field placement assignment. That would just be sad.)
Don
This baby is paying for your retirement some day.
Very funny! I like your blog. I’ll be back. Darn kids.
Thanks for stopping in Catherine. Darn kids indeed.
That was freaking hilarious. I can’t cure all of the little creeps, but for my own two, I’ve put spikes on all the mailboxes and lamp posts around our house. And our dogs are taking serious birth control. There will be no mutant boy-dogs born in our home. Nope. Not around here.
A sensible plan Mrs. Robinaltman.
If there were more parents like you, us seniors would be a damned sight happier. All the best and thanks for visiting.
Yours, Don
‘pimply rutting spree’….
You are a latter-day Shakespeare, Mr Mills.
Thank you Mr. NobblySan,
I must say though that young Mr. Shakespeare was a tad disrespectful to his elders. That portrait of Mr. Lear was quite cheeky and bit uncalled for. Made the man look like a dithering old fool.
Nice of you to stop in again.
As a young man, Lear was known as “Leer”
He was teen lech king. Always leering at the babes and humping anything that moved and sticking his nose where it didn’t belong.
Your a funny wee dog Mr. Tru but I like you.
You seem like a decent lad
I couldn’t agree more Don! What will become of this world if these damn kids don’t stop humping like rabbits?
Thank you Gary. Nice to see there are some sensible young folks out there. As soon as I find my damned glasses I’ll pop over for a visit.
I hope you make it over soon Don! I have something waiting for you there. 😉
Then again, there are enough damned kids doing these stupid extreme sports, that maybe they’ll naturally thin out their own numbers.
Hopefully that will cancel out some of this excessive humping.
You cracked me up there Friar. Thanks for that.
We can always hope.
Nice to hear from you.
I think I have an idea to fix this problem, Don. We need to bring back those stupid videos they used to show grade school kids that taught them about sex. It made sex sound all clinical, and icky. Either that, or more parents should beat their children until they are too sore to have sex. Both the kids and the parents.
I knew there was a reason why I liked you Jumpout.
I agree, take the damn gyrating “dance” videos off the MTV for a start. They get everyone all hopped up.
Then, as you suggest, get back to clinical sex ed with dry narration and cross-section diagrams of the uterus. And an ugly teacher too (never hurts).
Ghastly stuff but it will take the starch out of your shorts fast enough.
And toss in the odd beating here or there too.
Good to see you young man. You’re always welcome here.
Dear Donald,
My sex education (as a student: I teach it now – so must be partially to blame for the current problems) consisted of such clinical teaching… to the point where, when Dickie Richards (didn’t realise the relevance at eleven years of age) asked, “Does anyone have a question?”, Leigh Powis – the brightest spark in the year – replied: “Well, sir, I understand about the egg and the sperm, but… how does it get through the clothes?”
I was eternally grateful to Leigh (a name I’ll never forget, though I last saw him in 1968) for allowing our red-faced biology teacher to clear up what was also my doubt. And I’ve quite enjoyed sex since… although always monogamously.
The problem with young people today is they have old fogeys like us on their backs.
Stuff and nonsense.
Thanks for visiting, thenakedlistner, but you’ll never convince me that old folks are the problem.
> Yeah, these young people today are doing “it” too much. To the point where they are having babies
That is hilarious comment. You’re mocking him right?
Unfortunately dude, sex has a lot of positive impacts (for example the massive downturn in rape), feels good and you can’t tell people what to do with their body. If it makes you feel better, we aren’t having more or less sex than people ever had, it’s just used to sell a lot of shit on T.V. like Children’s dolls or computers. I think that’s what you’re really complaining against. If that is the case, it isn’t even young people putting this shit out, it’s your own children forcing this on your grandchildren. Seriously though what did anyone expect to happen?
…and in an amazing end to this race, “Sense of Humo(u)r” is beaten into second place by “Desperately need to make a point”.
You’re a fine young man, Mr. NobblySan.
And Philll,
I’m sure you’re a good lad but if you don’t mind I’ll do the mocking around here and make the “massive” generalizations as well.
It’s an old man’s perogative.
“it’s just used to sell a lot of shit on T.V. like Children’s dolls or computers” hahaha children’s dolls, hilarious unless you are not joking, in that case it is extremely sick and someone needs to have words to the CEO of that advertising company!
LOL Don! You sounds like an uncensured Andy Rooney! Nothing wrong with a little humor to get you through the day! Can’t wait to see what you have to say next!
Thank you btstormb2006 – a little humor helps. A little rye and water doesn’t hurt either. Thanks for coming in and visiting with me.
Quite an interesting read-I like how you get right to the heart of the matter. Speaking of heart, and speaking as a young kid, something tells me that sex isn’t going anywhere, theres something about this love thing that keeps us hooked-on to each other at least.
yeah!! so true.
Finally, an elder that has enough gall to speak his mind about this sex-crazed society!
Being that I’m only 17, I see firsthand the rampancy of this disease and the ill effects it provokes.
I see my freaking peers, with their popped collars and their wine coolers, getting busy like its the end of days! I’ll tell you!
@Jumpout: I’m completely with you! Bring back the subtly disturbing sex-ed videos to scare the pants back on these kids!
The video I saw in HS during sex-ed was a cartoon called, “where do I come from?” after watching it the kids (like me) her were naiive when it came to sex believed that to have babies you had to meet a boy you liked and then both buy a cat and let the cat’s create friction and then you would get a baby. Because in the cartoon two people met and then they went to sleep and the “act” was played out by two cats standing side by side rubbing against each other faster and faster and then the women was pregnant!
Im sorry sir i have never met you a day in my life and i think that you are very over rated and need some attention because the simple mistake you made when you wrote your blog was saying that every teen in preteens are out here having sex and i know that you are entitled to your own opinion but i feel you are wrong. let me ask you an honest question sir, Have you met every child teen adult or person in the world? oh sir you don thave to answer that because i know you haven’t so why in the world are you assuming that everyone of them has sex you have no proof or no evidence and i am here to tell you that yes i have a myspace and yes i have boyfriends but i respect and value my self to much to be anaylized by you because i am 17 years of age and still have my virginity so all im saying is before you think to write a blog think about everyone you are directing it to and choose your words wisely…..
“and….breathe…..”
You little lady, need to go out and buy yourself a sense of humor, before you get wrinkles. 🙂
The problem with kids these days is that they can’t spell, punctuate or capitalize!
The lack of a sense of humour doesn’t help much either.
It’s funny, the most angst-ridden commenters seem to be the ones who can’t (or won’t) do punctuation. It’s like it’s a mental block or something.
Makes me wonder if it’s just the same person who keeps writing under different names.
Please go back to school. You may have your virginity but not much else. Learn how to punctuate . This post was just a rambling mess.
Kids !!!
i was a virgin when i was 17 too. we won’t talk about the ensuing 41 years….
It is a fact that many more people are having sex at younger ages than, say, 20 years ago. I’ve also observed that people seem to be ageing and dying more quickly. I must note that in no way am I connecting the two ideas; merely explaining that history has begun to repeat itself. Children are being forced to learn more than some previous generations, though admittedly much of it is forgotten after it falls into disuse, people are dying at younger ages, and people are physically maturing more quickly than they used to. I’d say we’ve gone back to the Renaissance. The only difference is the fact that things are far less formal, quite the opposite of formal in actuality, and that the platform of interest is not in art, culture and the never-ending quest for greater intellect — it is in various computer-related technologies.
Back on-topic, I can identify with your feelings, Master Mills. It saddens me to see people fornicating at such young ages. However, I must note that given my observations above, I would likely conclude that it is possibly out of necessity. After all, what used to be age 16 some forty years ago may be the equivalent of age 12 today. Blasphemy? Perhaps. If it isn’t blasphemy, then one’s denial of the fact is a problem for future generations as it means that prevention of conception will force the human race to die out.
Then again, humans have polluted and corrupted nature over centuries anyway, so it just might be time for us to go…
@Donald
I think another problem with these kids today days is they don’t know how to use punctuation.
Probably comes from all that god-damned text messaging.
I agree completely. It’s annoying how some seem to ignore punctuation. I will, however, note as someone who frequents chat rooms that the up-and-coming generation (ages 12-16) seems to be better with this. The generation that has already gotten somewhat set in their ways (17-20) seems to be more inclined to use shorthand as if they were text messaging. Although I can type “ne1 4 play im bored :(“, it’s far more comprehensible and easier for me to type “Does anybody want to play a game? I’m bored! :(” It actually hurts my eyes to read that sort of text. Even in text messages, I type things out completely.
I suppose the last bit in quotes brings up a point — an emoticon, a.k.a. “smiley” or “smiley face”, can function analogously to an exclamation mark or a full stop, or it can simply be used as a form of interjection — not that anybody other than “grammar Nazis” care.
“ne1 4 play im bored 😦
easier for me to type “Does anybody want to play a game? I bored.
Hmm, how do you get the second sentence which I do understand, out of the first ? You’ve lost me.
No wonder they’re the way they are!
I think there have been a few comments above that point out the central problem with young people these days.
Sorry all, I had a wee nap. What’d I miss?
Jesus Christ!!!!
Time for a new post I think! These sexy topics are nothing but trouble!
I just need to finish off my salsibury steak and mashed potatoes and I’ll get right on it.
Back soon
Great blog Mr. Mills! You are the epitome of geezerdom. I mean that in a good way.
I have to disagree a little with the tattoo rant. My grandpa got a tattoo when he was 92. Grandma was pissed. “You know you’ll have to live with that the rest of your life!”, she said.
Thank you son. Great story.
If I ever get a tattoo it will be the words “epitome of geezerdom” and it will span both cheeks. I love it.
Thanks for your comment. Hope you can drop in again sometime soon.
well old boy this certainly explains a lot ! my lawn hasn’t been the same since the hoodlums next door moved in ……come to think of it my automobile has been pulling to the left lately ..could this be due to unchecked teenage humping?…curious chain of events indeed !
Good to see you David.
If you don’t mind a suggestion, young man, you might want to link your user name to your blog. That way, people reading comment threads about teen sex can simply click on your name and pay you a visit. (Of course, you might not want people who frequent comment threads about teen fornication coming to your blog…that’s a personal choice).
It’s simple to do David. Go into your global dashboard, then your profile, add your blog’s url under “primary blog” and update! Voila.
Not bad for an old man who still has a rotary phone and a manual typewriter.
Thanks for coming in David. I think your on to something with the pulling to the left…I’d keep a keen eye on things.
Pulling to the left can be avoided by using your right hand.
Not that I’d know anything about that sort of activity…oh no!
Thank you Don I hadn’t realized that I had been hiding from everyone . I have to admit that after followed the instructions you provided that I became frustrated because it didn’t work right away ,I asummed the computer gods were still angry with me after I mistakenly tried to download the entire internet! my poor computer clicked and sputtered for days until I took it out of it’s misery with a hammer !
I contacted support and they were kind enough to inform me that past comments do not update automaticly ( silly me ….hehe )……Thanks again Don I look forward to reading your post! …~Dave
Donal it’s still the same for Child’s, though things got little changed along with time.
To be fair this is one thing I agree with you on.
They could do it in private at least.
David
Gosh! You must really hate teenagers. Well its funny cause these posts dont relate to me at all. In fact I dont do any of things you write about. Especially sex. I think its a waste of time and I sure as heck dont want any part of it. And you’re right, teens at my school have already had sex, and I think its a shame. They should’ve waited until they were 30!, lol. Me? Well my name in Irish means “pure” and I plan to stay true to my name. I have better things in life to do than to have sex. 😀
Hey Don.
I completely agree that kids and teenagers today are having sex younger and younger. The problem as I see it, is that sex has been considered a right and for far too long. We should unite and regulate sex for breeding purposes! Not only will this stop mass population growth but we will be able to select parents. Heck, we should implement a licensing system. This will ensure that only responsible, educated, ‘fit’ people would be allowed to be parents. Of course the state can’t always ensure people will not have sex (unfortunatly) so we should change the perspective of society to agree that the children of these unfit parents should be discarded.
Rofl OMFG LOL dry humping i Had T3h sehx at When I wAs leIk 14
u Make ME ridE Teh ROFLCOPTER good Sir.
That was funny! Glad I found you! However now I’m concerned about my mail box… it’s been slumped over since last week… something to worry about!
You guys are awesome 🙂 keep up the good work.
I don’t know, but thanks for the idea of fucking the lamp post. I’m going out now!
Humans want sex by nature. You make some great points, but we can’t deny that sex is highly enjoyable. I think kids should wait until at LEAST age eighteen. After that, explore and have fun (safely, of course)!
I have a theory that “they” are putting “something” in the water….which only affects the horny teens…..and makes them “out of control”.
Like some kind of government experiment. Hmmmm…maybe I’m just being paranoid.
But I agree….it is out of control….all this rampant sex.
Trisho
http://trishothinks.wordpress.com/
Don, after I was able to catch my breath from laughing non-stop, I then read all the comments from your legion of fans with wonderment. As a crabby old fart myself, I have this one observation to pass along. The only thing that irritates more than all the fornicating young people is fornicating old people on reality TV shows.
Please continue to work on your back-log list of “what’s wrong with ..”
Hey again Mr. Mills,
I think I had sex once, it wasn’t that great. Or wait- maybe it was a sneeze. What? Where am I? Damnit- I forgot my pills. What’s happening?
I gotta go.
Good luck with those tattoos though.
-Temporarily Insane Caleb
I’ve always dreamed about living in the 60s or even before that.My parents and grandparents used to tell me that people had more manners and respect for themselves and others a lot more than now. am 22, and I find it hard to live with the principles that my parents taught me.
I kept thinking about it and I thought that maybe young people and teenagers behave badly and “fornicate” all the time , because they have no “reference” to refer to. Weather its the social norms and traditions , religion or just common sense.
I always assumed that one should always have certain guides to refer to before making any decision,bearing in mind that “freedom” is not 100% absolute…maybe that’s just my opinion,because I come from a “collectivist” culture where people are raised to fit in with their community,and since we are not living alone,we should consider other people and not become so self -absorbed.
And about that fornication,yes its annoying to witness,and it’s even more annoying that it is becoming a “normal” thing to happen, in cultures that were more conservative and keen on traditions. Is it because of Globalization maybe? and that the world has become a small village?
No one minds an occasional root you stupid cunt
An occasional “root”? And what the fuck is THAT supposed to be? Did you mean “rut”? And you’re just too stupid to use the proper slang?
Hey!
There are very few teenagers who are waiting till marriage. I’m 18 and still a virgin! Yeah, shocker and rare!
Keep with the blogs, I agree with a lot of them 🙂
Dear Mr. Mills,
How true your words..
I believe the incentive for such indiscriminately lewd behavior lies in the fact, that any proud teenage momma of 4 wee crotch droppings with 6 different daddies between them, is automatically awarded her place at governmental teat for as long as she shall continue multiplying.
I believe forcible work for any and all such societal gems would sharply cut down on promiscuity. In teenager and teen-brained alike.
Kindly,
Polish Spring
You’re all kinds of awesome, Don. If my son has sex before he’s 35, I’ll skin him alive.
Speaking as one of those former pimply teens obsessed with sex now middle aged obsessed with orgasms… I agree. Sex seems to have become something done to relieve kids boredom and is now something youth seem to boast about rather than something done responsibly.
Now my question to you Mister Donald… how many socks did you need to wash as a teenager??? Excellent post again!!!!
Sir would you please stop using for Christ sake?! please stop
Using the Lord name to express your anger is not good.I’ve also notice that you have some anger management problem Sir…Well keep up the good work judging all the teenagers and Godbless!
Could it be that the flat backed bucket and twine contraption could be used in this instance too?
Not all of us are like that. I haven’t done ‘it’ and i’m not planning to till i get married 😀
hi don,
just like the way u use the words to express your feeling about young people.
Ahh so so amusing! You have a fabulous way with words. There has been a rise in teenage pregnancy in Australia since they introduced the baby bonus, it was implemented because people were still getting married, but not popping out rugrats because of careers, money etc. So the bonus was meant to encourage couples to have mini-thems. However, it backfired, my mother is a teacher librarian and she has overheard many conversations amongst the teens at her school who are actually planning to get knocked up so they can claim the bonus!!! Disgraceful!
I share you sentiments 🙂
I share your sentiments 🙂
Well I used to be one of those “God Damned Fornicating Teens”, and now I’m one of those “God Damned Fornicating Tweens”. I see where you come from with your views of demeaning sex in such a way, and I do not believe in teenage pregnancy, but if it is only supposed to be “functional, perfunctory and something you were ashamed of.” why does it feel good before, during and after, as well as having increased health advantages. You may have such beliefs but my generation has the freedom to explore their sexuality and push their sexual experimentation as far as they want, doesn’t mean you have to watch or even be within sight or possibilities of such things, its called having tolerance.
Go right back through the ages and you will find ancient Greece performing all such acts, it being accepted and encouraged by a whole society including famous scholars and historians, with their knowledge still quoted and used in society today. People may think you are wise as you are old with the extent of how far you have gone with this post, but your naivety puts you at an age where you should still attend preschool or kindergarten.
I would enjoy discussing or even debating with you.
Sincerely
Alexander Vince
P.S (sarcastic tone) You would love my blog 😉
http://alexandervince.wordpress.com/
Agree with the feeling good statement… I’ll admit I am someone who does enjoy extracurricular super mega fun happy time with my fiancee! But the health benefits only outweigh the risks when you practice safe sex if you are “fornicating” with strangers 😀
Ancient Greece, Pagans, Indians – I mean hello the Karma Sutra was not written by rutting teens 😀 Sex used to be celebrated, somewhere along the line society turned it into something shameful… thank god for the 60’s and free love man or us kids would still be buttoned up to the neck and having sex with the lights off, missionary style with faces averted and eyes shut.
Your blog was mentioned in the forums as the best blog read. Congratulations for that. And yes – you are funny! Good creative and high quality writing.
Thanks for sharing!
Maggie
Dirty little beasts!
am I able to?
I think that the reason more teens are doing ‘it’ earlier is because of the media. It turns non-sexual things sexual. Have you ever watched one of the shows they play on the kids’ channels? In some of them, the actors are fourteen, and the look like they’re twenty-something. Why? Because of all the piercings and ‘fashion’. In reply to the comments about teens not beling able to correctly spell, punctuate, or capitalize, how old do you think I am? Answer: thirteen.
This made me laugh out loud so many times. I am a young adult and I have no choice but to agree! Haha.
Well Don the simple answer to avoiding the problem with the sex fiends is to treat them like the dogs they are and start neutering them. With the population explosion and everyone having to pay for the breeders neutering them seems to be the only answer. Then they can hump all they want and not reproduce more dogs. Welfare babies are the real problem. That and the sex crazed media and people walking outdoors half naked as if they were in their bedroom. I actually think they might believe that having less on will make it easier for them to strip done and perform coitus in front of everyone. On top of being sex crazed their to lazy to take off all their cloths. We all might as well be dogs. I can’t tell the difference in this culture any more.
I do not see the problem with kids in high school having sex, but three methods of protection should be used, PCP: Pill, Condom, Pull-out, at all times.
Reblogged this on youngemt95's Blog and commented:
As I said in my comment on this post, as long as the PCP forms of protection are used all at the same time, there is nothing wrong with high school teens doing “it”. They should be aware of the consequences and if teenagers are constantly told to not do it, they will wonder what it is like and they will want to experience the taboo.
“When I was a boy, sex was like playing catch with your dad after dinner. Something you were promised and looked forward to, but which was never likely to actually happen.”
I couldn’t stop laughing. I’m new to blogging and upon seeing your view on how young people are today was a breath of fresh air.
First of all, I have no comeback or disagreement with anything you’ve said. Young people today are indeed sex crazed and full of blind energetic ambition. Seeing a, “life is suppose to be shitty, so why are you bitching?” view on everything helps me realize how much I take for granted. I look forward to following your posts and taking your advice and heeding you’re concerns.
What is the problem with teenagers having sex? Is there anything wrong with expressing desires? Leave them to be sex fiends if they want, sex is good for the soul
You might want to check out my blog; I just wrote a post about sex. However, if you never craved sex, maybe you weren’t doing it right. It is wrong to assume that all teens automatically are super sex-frenzied. In fact, many are not. “Popular” kids, as you might refer to them as, are usually the more sexually active ones, and they represent a small number compared to teens as a whole. Isn’t it simply our humane nature to be horny at times? ESPECIALLY, when you are just discovering something?