God Damned Fornicating Teens Drive me Crazy
The problem with young people today is that they are sex crazed.
When I was a boy, sex was like playing catch with your dad after dinner. Something you were promised and looked forward to, but which was never likely to actually happen.
In my day, sex was functional, perfunctory and something you were ashamed of. We had one position and it didn’t have a name. None of this acrobatic upside-down flip-around-on-your-head with a harness, head of lettuce and store bought erection nonsense. You didn’t need to stretch beforehand for Christ’s sake.
I didn’t have sex until three years after my marriage. And even then it was unintentional. Just rolled over at an opportune moment and it was done.
But these kids today, they’re at it before they’re out of grade school. Humping each other like a bunch of mongrel dogs in perpetual heat and then boasting about it on the MySpace and YouTube. It’s demeaning, degrading and it gets my goat.
And don’t for a minute think this is just “sour grapes.” It’s not. This is a serious problem.
If someone doesn’t put a stop to this pimply rutting spree there will be dire consequences. How soon will it be before these horny monsters get bored with mounting each other and start looking for new kinds of kicks? Before you know it, teens will be humping lamp posts, mail boxes, outdoor sprinklers and unsuspecting seniors out for an innocent Sunday stroll. It will be anarchy of the most perverted kind.
They’re sex crazed. That’s what’s wrong with young people today.