God Damned Crazy-Driving Young People Make Me Livid
The problem with young people today is that they don’t know how to drive.
Back in my day, we respected the rules of the road. My old Dad taught me to drive and if I even thought of running a stop sign or turning up the a.m. radio he’d have taken away my keys, locked me in the root cellar and set the dog on me.
But these young people today – they drive like drunken fruit bats. Speeding down the road while talking on the phone, sending text messages and checking their god damned hair in the rearview. It’s disgraceful, vain and dangerous.
Plus, they’ve all got the damned rap music thumping out obscenities and turned up so loud it makes my hearing aid rattle. They tail gate, eat while they drive and don’t even think of signaling when making a turn.
I drive my 1982 Buick LeSabre at a respectable 27 mph and keep my indicator on at all times. Never had an accident in 60 plus years on the road.
But these young people go racing past – honking their horns, screaming names at me and giving me the finger. A bunch of slack-jawed, mollycoddled chowderheads if you ask me. What the hell is our country coming to?
Pretty soon it won’t be safe for decent old people to get behind the wheel and drive over to the Wal-Mart. Or to even venture outside! We’ll all be forced to hide in our homes for fear that some twittering young person will careen up onto our front lawns and knock us ass over ankles into our rose bushes.
It’s a damned national disgrace and I want something done about it.
They don’t know how to drive. That’s what’s wrong with young people today.