God Damned Disrespectful Teenagers Make Me Angry
The problem with young people today is that they have no respect for their elders.
Back when I was a sprog we were expected to be polite, respectful and afraid of old people. We said “please” and “thank you” and would never have dared to call an adult by their Christian name.
But these uppity youngsters today have no respect. They give you sass, lip, guff, guff lip, lip sass, sass lip and generally behave in a way that makes it unsafe for us older folks to venture outside of our homes for fear of teenage mockery, robbery, stupidity or worse.
But what really chaps my shorts is that first name business.
If I had ever called my neighbour “Millie,” instead of Mrs. Bodsworth, she would have tied me up with her apron strings and beaten me unconscious with a slotted spoon.
But with kids now it’s all “Bob” and “Carol” and “Ted” and “Alice” when talking with old folks.
And half the time you don’t even get a first name out of them. It’s “hey old dude” or “yo gramps, what’s up?” Well listen here assclown, I’m not your grampa and if I were it would be my cane that was up. Up cracking you across the disrespectful head.
This had better well stop or it won’t be long before young people will forget they are inferior and you’ll come home to find your paper boy is sitting in your armchair, reading your sports page, wearing you smoking jacket, drinking your scotch and french kissing your wife.
It’s damned well disgraceful and I want it to stop.
They have no respect for old people. That’s the problem with young people today.