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God Damned Young People Have No Respect for Church!

The problem with young people today is that they don’t go to church.

When I was a lad, everyone went to church. It didn’t matter who you were, what you believed in or how hungover you were – come 9 a.m. Sunday morning your ass belonged to the Lord and it had better be firmly affixed to a pew.

Church meant something in my day. Young people went there to learn, to worship and to help us find our way in the world. It was part of our community.

If I had ever told my old dad that I didn’t want to go to church he’d have smacked me with both testaments and clubbed me with the jaw bone of an ass.

But these young people today. They think churches are boring and “lame.” The only way they’d sit through a sermon was if it were on Youtube and included someone getting kicked in the giblets or an exploding toilet.

Church isn’t “modern” enough for them. There aren’t any baristas in church. No place to dock your iPod or plug in your Bluetooth. Young people want to spend their Sundays lying in bed, disrespecting God and following Britney Spears on Twitter.

If this keeps up bad things will happen.

It won’t be long before churches close due to lack of interest and developers turn them into horrible loft condos. Then young people will buy them, move in and have loud parties with rock music and drugs and sexual language. And before you know it every church in the land will be nothing more than a god damned discotheque stuffed to the rafters with uncontrollable, raving young people.

I just pray I don’t live to see that day.

They don’t go to church. That’s the problem with young people today.

113 Comments leave one →
  1. 1:04 am

    I’m guessing that getting smacked with the Old Testament would probably hurt more than getting clobbered with the New Testament. A lot more wrath and smiting in the Old Testament. It’s also thicker.. Better quality paper stock too.

    • 12:15 pm

      You’ve got that right Mr. Alantru. Absolutely.

    • Miriam Joy permalink
      11:33 am

      *gigglesnorts* It would be like being hit around the head by a lawyer’s folder, all those books of law and stuff. Oh, man, did it take a long time to read those…

  2. Friar permalink
    3:00 am

    No, Don.

    I think you’re wrong…young folks DO have religion.

    It’s the Church of the Almighty Dollar.

    • Sander permalink
      7:34 am

      The almighty dollar? What kind of blasphemy is this? If we had any religion, it would be The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

    • Ian permalink
      12:10 am

      I was under the impression that the Catholic and Mormon churches had the whole money-worshipping thing cornered.

  3. 4:44 am

    I love your posts, Don, but I’m not religious and not 100% in agreement with this one.

    I used to be Catholic, but now I’m pretty much religion-less. Sort of an Agnostic Deist/Atheist (unsure) mix, but Deist than Atheist.

    However, I do realize that in American culture (especially during your time and most likely where you grew up), most people are/were Christians and not going to Church was terrible. I actually live in the NYC metropolitan area, so I’m exposed to pretty much every religion…I guess that’s why this post isn’t a personal favorite of mine.

    Still, keep it up, Don! You’re the man!

  4. OMGBBQ permalink
    5:13 am

    Just saying, I haven’t started any wars, nor has my generation. I don’t do drugs or drink and never will, metal is superior to rock, who the Hell (it’s a place, you capitalize them) is Britney Spears, and I plan on living in a shack in the middle of nowhere so I don’t ever come in contact with codgers like you. Also, bad things are happening. Most of them happen to be mostly your fault. Well, your generation’s, at least. You are partly the reason I hate people in general.

    • 12:09 pm

      Howdy do, OMGBBQ.

      You’re a cheerful lad, aren’t you?

      Glad to hear you haven’t started any wars, don’t drink, avoid drugs and have declared metal superior to rock. These are important life choices and I think you’ve selected well.

      I’m sorry you hate people in general. That’s a tall order, son, and must require a lot of effort. You might want to start with a smaller subset. You know, hating all Texans, or all of France before moving on to people in general. Just a thought – do with it what you will.

      Good luck with the shack shopping, son. Just don’t go all Unibomber on us now.

      Enjoy, lad

      • lakezigzag permalink
        11:14 pm

        Beautiful, Mr. Mills, just beautiful. Thanks for making my day with that response. Ha!

    • 12:23 pm

      Your generation hasn’t started any wars?

      Shame on you, you bunch of slackers!

      Get your finger out, and invade Poland before the end of next week, or it’ll be 100 lines for the lot of you:-

      I must be more like GW Bush
      I must be more like GW Bush
      I must be more like GW Bush
      I must be more like GW Bush
      I must be more like GW Bush

  5. downcastmysoul permalink
    5:18 am

    Everything is being turned into a loft here. Your dad should have threatened you with Strong’s Concordance if he wanted to really put the fear of God in you. It weighs a ton more than an asses jawbone.

    • 12:23 pm

      Thanks downcastmysoul,

      I suspect that Strong’s Condcordance would pack quite a wallop. I guess we were fortunate that our bookshelves were lined with jawbones instead of bibilical reference texts.


  6. Jenny permalink
    5:57 am

    It’s really hard to be religious when your father tells you that you’re an abomination and going to Hell. I was raised Catholic but when I was 15 my mother outed me and my first girlfriend. This led to a downward spiral in the religious sense. The only religious people I was exposed to during this time were biggots and hatemongers. As an educated, 22 year old young woman I’ve come to realize that not all Christians are like that. My college, Bellarmine University, is Catholically owned and the people there are very open minded and loving. I’ve learned now that true Christians are not hateful– because to be Christian means to be Christ-Like and Christ was not hateful.

    I’m not religious at this moment in my life but I’m open to the possibility. I think in this day and age of Science and Electronics it’s difficult to believe in anything blindly. When God is ready for me to believe, perhaps there will be a sign. Monks and nuns receive a calling that makes them want to serve– maybe someday I’ll get something similar.

    • 12:27 pm

      Thank you Jenny.

    • 12:48 pm


      I’m confused:-

      “When God is ready for me to believe….”

      Surely that statement means that you already believe?

      • Jenny permalink
        10:15 pm

        No, i’m just open to the possibility. If there is one then when she/he is ready for me to believe then I will. I really shouldn’t write these things half asleep. Apparently I make no sense. (I’d normally use an emoticon here but Don has declared war against them.)

        • henry permalink
          2:40 pm

          God can not be ready for you to believe unless you presuppose his/her existence – you already believe in him/her.

          It’s funny, really, how effective indoctrination can be at such a young age. Ones teenage years are some of the most important developmental years in their life; yours were tainted by the judgment and hatred that is the “will of God”. It clearly still affects you to this day and there are millions and millions of others who are suffering through the same right now; yet you are perfectly willing to close your eyes, shut your ears, suspend your critical thought faculties, and speak out in behalf of the very cult who did this and will continue to do it to others.

          How many millions more must be judged, murdered and tortured before we will collectively say “enough” to this out dated and dangerous way of thinking?

          • Soulbern permalink
            10:22 pm

            “How many millions more must be judged, murdered and tortured before we will collectively say “enough” to this out dated and dangerous way of thinking?”

            A lot.

      • 2:14 am

        Silly bean, she’s waiting for a sign. You know, like a teenager spontaneously combusting.

        Make room for the miraculous, NS.

        (p.s. No offense to you, Jenny. Just an unfortunate door for me to stumble through.)

  7. 8:44 am

    Don, you sound just like my mother. She threatened to ‘baptise me’ for six minutes if I made her late to church.

    • 12:29 pm

      Hello Fundamentaljelly,

      Nice to see you lad. Your mother sounds like a damned sensible woman. Give her a call, lad, it’s mother’s day.


  8. 1:07 pm

    Man! Another bullseye! Religion, pull their damn pants up, get a hair cut,take a shower. These are the things that will build character and allow the young folks to grow into good citizens. Keep it up Don, someone needs to start discussions like this.

    • 4:18 pm

      Thanks Russ. Always nice to have you visit. Don’t even get me started on the damn saggy-assed pants.

      Take care now.


  9. 2:15 pm

    Mr. Mills,

    Please don’t recommend people to hate Texans! We are lovely folks. So what if we carry guns in our pick up trucks. We need them to fend off all those damn liberals and hippies sprouting everywhere in Austin. And don’t even get me started on those damn folks from California who are moving here and increasing the house prices. And driving like maniacs…

    Please recommend California instead. Blame California for this dismal situation we are all in.

    Let us all pray together!

    • 4:23 pm

      Thanks Scriber’s Web.

      Didn’t mean to pick on Texas. Apologies. Somehow though, I suspect that the fine state of Texas won’t lose any sleep if omgbbq does decide to focus his teen angst in that direction.

      Always nice to see you.


    • Austin permalink
      7:18 pm

      I blame Texas because of you idiots voting for an idiot like Bush. Besides that , I’m okay with Texas, my uncle comes from there.

      • Austin permalink
        7:20 pm

        For most of my life I was surrounded by hatemongers and bigots that were to no surprise Roman Catholic . So currently , I’m a Deist/Atheist .

  10. 2:41 pm


    Things are relatively civil here today. How come there are no angst-ridden teens verbally abusing you?

    I’m wondering if your last post about humorless teenagers finally put things to bed (?)

    Or perhaps it’s just the weekend and they’re all at the mall. Text messaging each other about the new Star Trek movie or something.

    Mabye comes Monday, they’ll be out in droves, screaming at you for “imposing your religious beliefs” on them.

    It could prove to be interesting….I’ll have my lawn chair and bowl of popcorn, ready to watch the sparks fly.

    • 8:01 pm

      Well we know they’re not at church…

      Actually, Friar, I think most of the young folks have moved on from here. They all seemed to be coming from one site and that traffic is slowing down fast.

      Too bad. I never would have learned the word “assclown” if it weren’t for the young folks!


  11. Graham permalink
    3:09 pm

    I don’t really understand why people are leaving serious/angry comments on a comedy blog… Anyways, keep up the good work!

  12. 7:23 pm

    Humor? These are very serious issues which require discussion! It is a greased and shiny slope where our young’ins are voting for a pothead, underpants displaying, long haired, GED’d and unshowered one of their own being President of the United States. Cloud guy forbid!

  13. 11:15 pm

    Hah, plug in your bluetooth.
    If every church were turned into a dance party, I would have no problem with it. Would serve a better purpose than they do now anyway. But then again, I am a flaming heathen.

    • 11:46 pm

      “Flaming heathen”…

      Aha! One of those spontaneously combusting young people I talked about yesterday!! And people thought I was kidding.

      Thanks for stopping in for a visit Raul.

    • 2:20 am

      Actually, there was just such a place (a church turned into a dance party) – it was called the Limelight. It was a club in Manhattan, and oh holy hell, some bad stuff went down in that place.

      Not that I was involved in anything of that nature. Um. Yeah.

      I was forced into religion as a youngster. Until confirmation class – my cigarette smoking priest (smoking was still allowed around children then) made comments about sluts while I played footsie with a cute boy. I argued every point he made.

      For some reason, my parents actually allowed me to drop out. It was all down hill from there, Don. You make some excellent points. I only wish I had my eyes opened before it was too late.

      God bless,

  14. 11:38 pm

    I remember that old-time religion. It taught us all sorts of useful things like how many hands were in a cubit and that God would never vindictively destroy the world again until He was ready to.

    It also taught us to be deeply suspicious of others, especially those with different lifestyles and cultures. It taught us to tell others to live their lives one way while we continued to live ours another.

    It taught us that Jesus was a carpenter’s apprentice and part-time illusionist before really buckling down and proselytizing.

    It taught us that, for the right amount of money, your closest friends would stab you in the back.

    It taught us that the world was created in seven days only to be ruined by those entrusted with it, much like our government has done in a slightly greater amount of time.

    It taught us, somewhere near the back, that the greatest of all virtues is love, but we certainly can’t be bothered to show that, not with all the judgement we’re passing.

    It also taught us that the surest way to make sure your children reject your religion is to jam it down their throats for 18 years.

    It taught us cynicism and a deep mistrust for those who believe that they are guided by a higher power.

    Once away from it, we learned to treat everyone as human beings with their own faults and virtues.

    (Don, my apologies for being a mood killer. Apparently, some nerves are still near the surface. I’m headed down to the mall for an abrasive waxing and the spiritual renewal of watching the young waste their youth. There may be drinking involved.)

    • Andy permalink
      3:55 pm

      Excellent post, Lion Tamer.

      I felt liberated once I could move past Christianity once and for all. I was free to make sense of the world as it really is. I had more amazement in the cosmos. I had more hope for the future. I had less guilt and felt like an adult.

    • 8:06 pm

      Have yourself a rye and milk, CLT. It always takes the edge off for me.

      Nice to see you lad.


  15. 1:51 am


    I must confess, during my younger years I didn’t respect going to church as much as I do today. this all changed the day I decided to launch spit balls at the preacher during a special service.

    I remember sitting directly behind my mom and grandmother with my grandfather ” resting ” quietly beside me. as the first attack hit it’s mark ,the preacher looked up , but saw nothing ! I giggled silently at my cleverness being hidden behind my grandmothers big hat .

    again and again I hit my target , still I managed to maintain a straight face as my body convulsed wildly behind my hidden fortress !

    In hindsight I probably should have stopped while I was ahead , while the preacher was busy babbling away , and soon after my final volley hit the casket , I felt sharp whap upside the my head. thankfully the emergency room doctors where not only able to remove said straw , they also retrieved by grand fathers ” missing ” shoe from my backside ( it was his favorite ).

    The good news is I have learned my lesson , never again will I disturb my grandfathers nap during a church service….~Dave

  16. 5:04 pm

    In case anyone’s interested in moving into a condo built for yuppies in an old, beautiful church, I know a great place in Montreal.

  17. 6:34 pm

    Maybe if we can get the youngsters more involved in church they could move past their emotional baggage and they would then be free to laugh at jokes about religion.

    • 7:44 pm


      These teens are such a God-Damned humorless bunch, aren’t they?

      Makes me furious!

  18. Sirsog permalink
    6:45 pm

    yup, us young people sure are fucked up i guess, too bad your gonna die and were gonna take your place, then laugh about how you used to bore us with your stories. Plus uhhhh without us, you are all fucking hopeless, so stop bitching, maybe your the ones who are wrong. Grow up and shut up. Fucking Commies

    • 7:52 pm

      My goodness, Sirsog, I hope you don’t use that kind of language around your old grandmother.

      I’ll give you this much, lad, you have a plan and it’s nice to see a young person with goals. Stay the course, Sirsog, stay the course.

      I got a touch confused at the end there Sirsog. Did you mean Commies or Commas? Because I see you like to sprinkle the commas around pretty liberally. Either way, you’re okay by me.

      I’m no fan of Commies and commas are overrated.

      Take care now lad.


    • Sander permalink
      7:54 pm

      Now, now. A little less swearing would’ve gotten your point across perfectly. I’m not sure I see how Communism has anything to do with it, but I do think it deserves more respect than you give it.

  19. Sirsog permalink
    6:48 pm

    o ya and church…. about church, you sit in a fucking crowded room, praying to some guy that you don’t have any proof existed. I mean, if us “youth” started worshoping santa cause he brings happiness to those who are “good” and brings a lesson and sadness to those who are “bad” its the same thing, cause religion isnt the thing making the person better, its believing in something that can bring faith to your heart, and when i think of god, i would rather slit my fucking wrist to the bone, than call him a deity.

    • 8:01 pm

      Sirsog! Nice to see you again lad. It’s been a while and I’ve missed you son.

      That’s a Hell of an arguement you make boy. You should try out for the debate team. You’d knock their socks off and that’s for damned sure.

      I’m guessing you’re an educated lad. Theology major? Maybe Philosophy….

      Either way, boy, I think your 95% of the way through your thesis with this comment alone.

      Gripping stuff.

      Hope to hear from you again soon my young friend (but please go easy on the cursing in future).

      Damned Commas! (that can be our private joke)

      All the best


  20. Cmmm permalink
    7:00 pm


    Morality is not synonymous with religion, I personally do not care if churches go out of style, but would never push for it to happen either. I only care that people continue to work for humanity’s benefit as a whole. I belong to a large group of friends, of witch only four are religious and go to church. We are all fun loving, tax paying, charity running, politically informed and what I consider to be good people.

    Good and bad people come in all different races, genders, ages, and religions. Perhaps your problem with young people is not that they do not go to church but that you are unable to see the good they do with out there weekly attendance.

    Respectfully, Crystal

    • 8:04 pm

      Thanks Crystal. I appreciate your taking the time to share your views.

      All the best,


    • 10:28 pm

      Hi Crystal.

      Which of these 4 witches are the religious ones?

      I’ll get them kicked out of the coven if you want.

    • Cmmm permalink
      12:31 am


  21. Larry Bass permalink
    8:03 pm

    I hate to say it but, hey, at least Britney Spears is real.

    • Sander permalink
      8:25 pm

      Don’t know about you, but my opinion of her would improve drastically if it turned out she wasn’t real >.<

  22. youngperson permalink
    11:39 pm

    The problem with old people today is that they complain too much.

    • 12:12 am

      The problem with young people today is that they don’t have the attention span to listen to old people complain about them.

      • Music94Skater permalink
        5:43 am

        just for the hell of it i feel like using slang to make this point
        tis all cuz we dont wanna b bored to death even tho we may love our g-ma and g-pa and all other oldies but they are slow talkers generally and then tend to complain about pointless things given example “these peppers are ridiculous” quote from my g-ma talking bout peppers in a vegetable/dip thing that are usually at prtys

        • 7:22 pm

          Damned peppers are ridiculous! And we’re not slow talkers, we just like to think before we speak.

          Thanks for stopping in Music94Skater. Good to see you lad.


          • Music94Skater permalink
            10:08 pm

            ok well that does make sense about the thinking before you speak thing

  23. 12:14 am

    Here’s the other thing, Don. I combust in church, that’s why I never go, that plus the preacher keeps telling me I’ll do more than just combust on Judgment Day. I can’t help it, the boring sermons cause chemical chain reactions in my body and I set all ablaze. Now I just stay home and sleep.

    • 7:24 pm

      Jesus, Zirgar, get yourself to a Doctor, lad. Or an exorcist, You sound to be in bad shape.

      Thanks for visiting.


  24. Music94Skater permalink
    5:33 am

    Ok first off I would like to state I stumbled this…sorry had to mention…
    But I do feel I must input for I am a teen myself.
    Ok here it goes.
    So basically I am an Atheist and most of the rest of my family consists of Christians(thought I’d capitalize it for the reason I don’t wish to cause anyone to rage against me).
    I have never done drugs before I do listen to Alternative Rock music such as Blink-182, Sum-41,Simple Plan, etc. and even though this is probably a “dumb” comparison to the Bible for you all but music is my Bible. The Bible really has one purpose to teach you how to live an honest life. Well depending on the music you listen to you may learn the same concepts from the music as the Bible teaches so there is no reason to hate on rock music for anything such as drugs or anything even though I will admit that there are a lot of drug influenced songs and drug influencing songs.
    Another thing this is completely random but I thought I might mention a quote by Karl Marx creator of the Communist Manifesto
    “Religion is the opiate of the masses.”
    Assuming you all know what an opiate is it basically states religion is considerable a drug that numbs the real world for those who don’t wish to focus on the real world and deal with it.
    And though I have nothing against other people for their beliefs I do believe this quote to be rather true for the fact that people who fight over religion based things haven’t realized that if they let people believe what they want then wars will come less often and I must also agree with someone who posted before me. Our generation has yet to start any wars.
    So I will let you decide whether you think I make a good point through my random babbling or am I completely stupid and ignorant to what is there.
    Truthfully it would also tell me something about you being a new person to this website and all.(yes I’ve realized it’s a jokingly funny website but I still would like to make my point in this rambling) So. Please tell me what you think about my ideals and thoughts.

    • 3:42 pm

      Music94skater, you have great points. I have to throw in one more that pertains to Christians in particular, and kind of explain some things just a bit.

      I really believe part of the appeal of Jesus is that the bible convincingly expresses his love for people. Much of the new testament is a love story, far exceeding the typical fairy tale. For people (particularly girls, I believe) who have been damaged, hurt, or violated in some way, imagine how powerful that is.

      Even someone who is logical and practical can fall under the spell of a man who will never leave, who promises to find you and rescue you if you wander, who will always forgive you and even went so far as to die for you.

      While the bible does have its share of violence and crazy talk, like any religion many followers take what they like and leave the rest. Yes, Christians often say they believe the bible is inerrant truth, but so do Muslims believe the Koran, yet we call that a peaceful religion because not all of its followers adhere to all of its edicts. If you think the Koran is “peaceful” you should read it.

      Marx was correct that religion is the opiate of the masses, the soma of a people faced with a world and a life that is really damn hard to deal with.

      We all have our particular opium, and anyone who thinks they don’t is lying to themselves. Religion, humor, drugs, anger, work, sex, food – they are all means of coping, some of them less healthy than others.

      In case anyone wonders, I do have a bit of knowledge about these things, having grown up in an uber Christian town and even having tried it out for a while myself.

      I realize this comment is completely out of place. Just pretend I’m a goddamn teenager who doesn’t understand satire.

      • 7:34 pm

        Thanks for visting probablytooseriousforthisblog.

        And your comments not out of place. You’re welcome to express any thoughts you like.


    • 7:32 pm

      Hello again Music94skater,

      I’m not sure I agree with your ideas and thoughts, lad, but I give you full credit for having them. It’s encouraging to see a young man questioning things, taking the time to think about issues and having the ability to articulate his thoughts clearly and without using profanity (or those damned emotocons).

      So, all I will say is “good on you lad.”

      And thanks for stopping in.


    • eatone permalink
      7:13 pm


      Grow up. Get a job and a clue.

      MUSIC IS YOUR BIBLE? Are you retarded? I think the chin strap to your helmet must be cutting off your oxygen supply.

      Blink 182? Sum 41? CHRIST! That music is so profound and riveting that I am shocked these assclowns don’t have a Sunday Sermon on public access. I am by no means religious, but honestly to say that you gather your spirituality from a bunch of robots in the music industry who do nothing buy produce invalids with IPODS, is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.

      Then, to quote the communist manifesto? Did you just learn that in History class today? SO IS MUSIC! Music/media/propaganda/opiates, it’s all the same. So, tomorrow in class you are going to sound like a god damned GENIUS!

      Oh and to really learn what young people do, check out my latest post. EPIC.

      • Andy permalink
        9:11 pm

        Actually, music serves many real spiritual purposes.

        It can be a meditative device, and can go much deeper for some people than prayer.

        You can glimpse un-namable mysteries within it, using multiple regions of your brain at once–polyrhythmic understanding, harmonic relationships.

        It contains metaphors for the complexities of relationships. It’s a reminder of life’s creativity and constant motion.

        For me this happens with instrumental musics–Sufi music, indian music, Steve Reich, John Adams, the western classical masters, which few young people even listen to in this country. I’m not sure how Blink 182 would fit into this, but I see where the young man is coming from in a sense.

        • eatone permalink
          2:33 am

          I agree with you. Mainstream MTV crap is not anything from which I would seek guidance.

          • Austin permalink
            7:29 pm

            Especially Soulja Boy. Too much beating of hoes.

  25. Jen permalink
    4:27 pm

    I’d have to agree with you on this one. But, it would certainly do you well to remember that going to Church includes learning from what you hear there. You have a serious problem about using the Lord’s name in vain. I love your blog, find it quite humorous, but I just can’t stand it when you use God’s name in damning something or use Jesus Christ as a swear word. So, keep on writing, you’ve got something going for you, but try to watch how you use the Lord’s name.

    • 5:13 pm

      Thanks Jen,

      I appreciate your comment and have been told to watch my language before. I apologize, I know that many find it offensive but it’s an old habit and one that is hard to shake.

      I’ll try harder in future.

      All the best


    • Sander permalink
      3:16 pm

      Technically, there’s no misuse of his/her name. I haven’t noticed the word Yahweh on this blog yet 😛

  26. Courtney permalink
    6:08 am

    Well, i must be old fashioned, being the kind to go to church.
    However, i must ask, do you only believe in a particular way of doing church? Does it have to be Catholic with Hail Marys and stained glass windows?

    • 3:27 pm

      Thanks Courtney,

      I’m all for people picking the church that works best for them. It’s more about putting in the face time and paying your dues.

      But a little stained glass is always a nice


  27. Devon-Anya permalink
    1:24 pm

    Sorry if I don’t believe in God and am an atheist, but I am not going to change my religious views just for you. I doubt that young people would move in and turn a church into a loft.

    And yes, an exploding toilet would be amusing.

  28. James permalink
    1:35 pm

    I’ve just stumbled upon your website and can’t help but notice how your qualm with us “God Damn” kids, teenagers, young adults … well how ever you want to refer to us is irrelevant. What caught my attention was your qualm with not only our religious values and our habitual bad language use. First off how can you complain about “young’uns” not going to church when your willing to use the Lord’s name in vain in EVERY article and still say that we have a lack of respect based on the words that we choose to use.

    Now this may be considered a bit taboo to put into your blog space but how many people in your generation still drop the N-bomb when ever referencing an African American or a Ch^nk when referring to anyone from the eastern side of our planet.

    I find your work educational and informative on a sociological level but at the same time i find it excessively hypocritical. I look forward to your response.

  29. Terry permalink
    8:39 am

    James is my nephew’s name and was my father’s, so I find it somehow fitting that I tuned in to respond to your note. I first of all want to be certain that you caught the humor of “god-damned” and “repect for church” in the same sentence? I truly admire Don’s humor. I am both embarrased and proud to let this crew know that I went to Sunday School, taught Sunday School, sang in the choir, went to Catholic School, and am now a church secretary BUT- believe it or not, still have a few beers, swear when I’m mad, envy some and “wish ill” on others. God made man in his image, but made man human. If anyone catches me swearin’ at work and admonishes me for “swearing in a church”, I tell them “No, this is the office. The Church is down the hall.” If I had to pick a couple of commandments that say it all and that I wish all mankind would follow they would be “do unto others as you would have done unto you” and “love your neighbor as yourself”.
    Sorry for the ramble, folks…James, I think sometimes(Don?)the best way to get people talking is maybe to get a rise out of ’em so that they write what they feel… (especially teenagers who won’t pay attention otherwise. Kinda wakes ’em up.) -insert “smiley grin w/ teeth and maybe a tongue stuck out” here.

  30. Terry permalink
    8:45 am

    P.S. I miss Lake Wobegon days…(sigh) Some old folk geezer out there able to remember the closing line?

    • 1:03 pm

      Do you mean “Where the women are strong, the men are good looking, and the children are above average?”

      I’m hardly an old geezer, but I love that show. I even saw it live once. It’s a shame there might not be anymore like that once old Garrison is gone.

  31. Belle permalink
    6:56 pm

    Dear Don,

    I am enjoying your blog so much! I’m even printing out some of your entries for further perusing. I really liked the part about: “When I was a lad, everyone went to church. It didn’t matter who you were, what you believed in or how hungover you were – come 9 a.m. Sunday morning your ass belonged to the Lord and it had better be firmly affixed to a pew”. My dad is the “Son of a Preacher Man”, and the oldest of 6 kids. His parents did NOT play about going to church (looks rather bad for the preacher’s family not to show up). My dad’s mother (always the perfect preacher’s wife) actually made sure to grow out her thumbnail and her fingernail on the first finger so that when my dad or any other of her children was acting up in church, rolling a marble in the pew, not paying attention (generally being a little bitch) she could reach over and (in my dad’s words) “pinch the piss out of my arm!” He of course rebelled as soon as he moved out and made it a point not to go to church just for a little adolescent retribution, but thanks to her, he is one of the best behaved church goers in the world. 🙂

    You rock, Don.

  32. 5:01 am

    I’m hoping to see a sequel to this post, Don. I look around at Mega Churches with their rock&roll worship services, I mean, entertainments, complete with giant monitors, and I would swear there ARE coffee shops right there in the church complex, I mean, mini-mall. I do know they have snack bars.

    Does that count as getting young people to church? One of my favorite young people was invited to a Good Friday Party at one of these Mega-tastic party churches, but she politely declined, thinking that partying on Good Friday didn’t really capture the Holy Week Spirit.

  33. Chloe permalink
    4:22 am

    It’s sad but churches are already closing down.

    However, mega churches are getting more and more popular (particularly with young people).

    Maybe it’s their holy rock concerts, their giant tv screens, their holy rock star singers with live band, fireworks and Godly merchandise that are pulling people in.

    These mega churches may appeal to all walks of life but to me, it seems to diminish the value of church and being religious. It’s all too flashy, showy and materialistic to me.

    If people are idolizing the singers at those concerts, just because they’re singing religious songs, doesn’t make them holier – it’s still a rock concert! It’s still idolizing someone that isn’t God and isn’t that a sin?

    Anyway, the amount of money made at mega churches is INCREDIBLE! Hill Song Church in Australia pays no taxes yet makes truck loads of money from their religious merchandise (CDs, books, etc) and takes 10% of all their attendees’ wages! And they have thousands of members. They’re so wealthy, they now own Sanitarium (a large Australian food corporation) and a few other private businesses.

    Regular churches might have to adjust themselves to that model in order to survive (or get Don to kick young people’s butts back to church).

  34. Tam permalink
    8:53 pm

    You haven’t kicked the bucket yet old man?

  35. 1:08 am

    Do you pray for young people?

  36. 4:44 am

    I’m an LDS teenager who happens to live across the street from my church. I go to church every Sunday for three whole hours, and I’m not even tempted to go back home. I enjoy every minute of church–it’s a place where I can escape the world. No cell phones, no iPods, none of those distracting things to get in the way of worship. So, does that make me a good example of a teenager? Or am I damned for all eternity because I’m Mormon?
    This is an excellent blog, by the way. I’m enjoying reading your opinion on my generation, Don, and I’m finding myself agreeing with a majority of what you’re saying. Thank you for speaking out–I will definitely be returning here again!

  37. Russell permalink
    11:06 pm

    Now, I might be repeating one, if not several previous comments (because I’m too lazy to read all ninety of them… you guessed it, I’m a damned young person!) but what gripes me about punk kids these days isn’t so much that they’re “godless” heathens. It’s that they have a HOST of various ignorant sounding gods they worship, just none that are the right one!

    Teenagers nowdays will argue ’til their blue in the face that the Bible is a silly fantasy book, and how the world would just be so enlightened without an “organized religion” like Christianity made up of people who believe in “crazy” things. This before they proclaim themselves to be vegetarians and that they’re Buddhists now, or that they worship the Sun, or that the world is going to spontaneously implode in 2012 for no damned reason, and before you know it they’re joining Heaven’s Gate and commiting suicide so they can meet Bobo the Magic Space Monkey who waits for them in his UFO somewhere in the tail of the Hale Bopp comet.

    My favorite are the Satanists, who despise organized religion so much they went out and created an organized religion. Good one!

  38. kittyriot permalink
    10:13 pm

    religion is an opiate of the masses
    but yeh church has already gone out of style
    i wish religion would cease to exist for real tho

    • Carl permalink
      7:16 pm

      I wish people like you would cease to exist, too.

  39. Anonymous permalink
    1:20 am

    I don’t go to church because my parents don’t go to church. If they went I’d go.

    And also, the closest church is a 2 hour walk away and I cant drive yet.

  40. Ricardo permalink
    10:49 am

    And sorry but church is really boring, hearing the Priest reading the bible for an hour is lame.
    Unless Church doesn’t adapt to this New World and starts evolving with it, it will eventually die.

  41. 9:21 pm

    It’s unfortunate that all that time in church did not teach you to love your neighbor or speak without cursing. Apparently everybody has their faults. Don’t judge others without looking into your own backyard. I don’t ever recall God telling us to Judge everyone around us, especially ones younger than yourself. Only God can judge me. If you are someone’s elder it is your job to encourage them unto the right path without not just stand there and shake your finger at them.

    That being said, I enjoy your posts they remind me of my step-dad and all his good wisdom he has bestowed upon me while growing up.

  42. Anonymous permalink
    9:57 pm

    i honestly couldn’t give a shit if people don’t go to church as much as they used to in the past. it’s good people are moving away from stupid stone-age myths that these pulpits are perpetuating

    • My Name is None of Your Business permalink
      10:35 pm

      Thank you sir, for declaring the truth about this “God” all the dumbasses/zombies believe in. I don’t know, but I think the average IQ of religious people is at least a few points lower than the IQ of atheists. Just saying. (And just to piss off Mr. Donald Mills, here’s an emoticon: >:) )

  43. ronnie2796 permalink
    1:27 pm

    I love my church!! Its the highlight of my week, and I think I qualify as a young person 🙂

  44. David permalink
    2:33 pm

    I just started going to church ^_^ but church isnt for everyone and the impression I got from your article is everyone should go ^^;

  45. Anonymous permalink
    6:11 pm

    As an young person with no belief i will say this at least i am not a muslim.

    When the church gets its act together and starts doing something than i will carefully read its dogma and teaching a decide weather to convert.


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