God Damned Young People Couldn’t Write a Sentence to Save Their Lives!
The problem with young people today is that they don’t know how to write.
Now I’m no Billy Shakespeare but when I was a boy I was expected to put number 3 pencil to paper and actually write in full sentences. I used commas, periods and even the occasional verb in order to express whatever thoughts I was told to have.
But these young people today couldn’t write a god damned complete sentence if their lives depended on it – and they wouldn’t recognize a pencil if you jammed one through their pierced tongues.
I blame chat rooms, text messaging and the Internet. Everything these young people write is unfiltered, unedited, unintelligible and filled with crazy slang and infuriating abbreviations.
Come on now. How the hell hard is it to type out the words “by the way”?
It’s 8 letters for Christ’s sake.
But no, it has to be “btw”.
In my day we saved short forms for complicated things like a “bacon, lettuce and tomato” sandwich – not as a way of saving 5 god damned key strokes.
LOL, ROTFLMAO? FU old Man? I don’t understand any of this gibberish. It’s lazy and it denigrates everything I spent my adult life working for.
If I had ever used a lazy-ass short form when I was a boy my old dad would have abbreviated my backside with a copy of Mr. Webster’s dictionary.
But what really gets my goat is those god damned horrifying yellow smiley faces they plaster on everything. I don’t want sentences winking and leering at me for Christ’s sake. It’s unseemly, unnerving and a sure sign that the written word is well and truly dead.
They can’t write. That’s what’s wrong with young people today.