God Damned Poorly Dressed Young People Make Me Furious
The problem with young people today is that they don’t know how to dress.
When I was a boy my mother bought my clothes at the F. W. Woolworth Company. I didn’t get a choice about what I wore and neither did my friends. We wore short pants or dungarees and crisp white shirts and were grateful that our parents clothed us at all.
But these young people today – they walk around in their droopy-assed slacks, ridiculous foot wear and exposed underpants looking like a cross between a circus clown and a 10 cent prostitute. God damned muffin tops and belly shirts and exposed thongs and low rider pants. It’s enough to turn you off your oatmeal and make you put your own eyes out.
And good Christ, what the hell is with young people having words like “Angel” written across the ass of their sweat pants? It’s pornographic and false advertising to boot.
But the worst are those god damned backward baseball caps. That drives me bonkers. If I ever wore a piece of clothing backward my old dad would have twisted my neck around until my back was front and front was back.
What’s next? Driving your car around backward? Walking backward? Eating dessert before supper? They’re undermining the values of decent society.
They’re making fools of themselves and scaring the bejeepers out of decent old folks.
And that, my friends, is the problem with young people today.