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God Damned Young People Want Everything Now, Now, Now!

The problem with young people today is that they want immediate gratification.

When I was a young man immediate gratification was something you waited your whole life for. You never expected it, it never came and life was better that way.

But these young people today?

They want immediate gratification right now and all the god damned time. They want to download movies before they’ve made it to the show and hear the latest music before the wax on the record has been pressed. It’s all about getting next year’s model, the phone of tomorrow and the newest, latest shiniest toy today.

They expect their god damned microwaves to make them a three course meal in 30 seconds and then wipe their chins and burp them afterward. Microwaveable bacon, pizza, popcorn and pie. If it can’t be prepared in less time than it takes to snort of tab of marijuana they’re not willing to invest the effort.

In my day, if I wanted popcorn I planted the seeds, grew the crop, shucked the husks, boiled the oil and popped it myself. I needed 9 months notice to pop my corn and it tasted better for the wait.

But the young people today don’t have the patience to wait for anything. They break into a pout if their messages aren’t instant, go into conniption fits if their cell phones hit a dead zone, and have a cardiac arrest if the internet goes down and they can’t get immediate access to a Halo chat room and the latest LOL cat.

The only things they are prepared to wait for are looking for work, responsibility and pulling their own damned weight. Those, they can defer indefinitely.

In my day we had no choice but to be patient and control our impulses. If I was going to get a beating, I had to wait until my father got home. If I was hungry, I waited until my mom was god damned good and ready to feed me. And if I wanted something new, I cooled my heels, lowered my expectations and hoped that some day I’d get it as a hand-me-down.

It was decent, it was right – and it made for a better America.

They want immediate gratification. That’s the problem with young people today.

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130 Comments leave one →
  1. 1:28 am

    that’s what happens when you’ve never lived in a world without minute rice and 1-minute pregnancy tests. they should all live with a dial-up internets connection for a week. then they’ll appreciate what they have more.

    • 1:30 pm

      Many thanks Nonnie,

      Hopefully they won’t confuse the rice and pregnancy tests. Not only would peeing on those little grains of rice would be quite a challenge, I’m not sure how a newly married couple would feel about being pelted with pregnancy tests as they left the chapel.

      (Sorry, that just sort of got stuck in my head. I feel much better now.)

      Dial up connections? I doubt they’d last a full week. But if you really wanted to hold their feet to the fire you’d give them 7 days of face to face conversation, reference books and radio programs.

      Nice of you to visit, Nonnie.

      All the best,


    • downcastmysoul permalink
      7:00 pm

      I had dial up to start. It would try a Biblical saint. Plus, it was always going offline and I had to reboot.

  2. 1:43 am

    Mr. Mills, with all due respect I must say… well, I guess there isn’t any thing I must say… but let me say this… If I could get things immediately like the kids today then I would have loved it… Hell, we had to wait on the TV Guide to find out if Star Trek and Gilligan’s Island was still on…now they Tivo all of it… We had to walk to the store to collect coke bottles for a nickel each and all the while we planned to distract the store clerk so we could steal the playboy magazines in the back… Now they google for instant porn and hack bank websites for credit card numbers…and for popcorn we bought jiffy pop in the little aluminum pan with the wire handle… To hell with all of that… it’s got nothing to do with the way kids are today… making wait for things isn’t the answer…they are rotten little shits because we can’t whip their rotten little behinds without the risk of going to the pen for child abuse… I say, bring back Corporal Punishment in the schools ( fear of the paddle was a great motivator for me and others) and let parents whip the crap out of the little monsters at home… with some limits of course… just my 2 cents…

    • frigginloon permalink
      1:10 pm

      You could always grind them brats up Frank 🙂 . I am on my second Lime Twisted Gin, cheers !

      • 9:29 am

        Mr. Mills, I am sure that we think along the same lines. Another informative and well written article. Please keep up the great work.

        FrigginLoon, I agree, but they could never taste as good as chicken. I say let’s leave Cannibalism to the crazies and psychos and let’s just start whipping them young ones until they get back into shape.

    • 1:31 pm

      Many thanks Ornery Frank,

      An excellent comment. And I absolutely agree about the motivational value of corporal punishment (that’s next weeks post). My mother needed only lift a saucepan off the counter and my brothers and I immediately fell into line.

      I do think though, Frank, that this incessant need to have things NOW is a damned serious problem. In my day if you wanted something you went out, got a job and saved your money until you were able to afford it. Nowadays, it’s all credit and deferred responsibility. Patience is a virtue, Frank. And every damned young person would be wise to learn some.

      Many thanks and best regards,


    • Naomi permalink
      1:29 pm

      I think that’s one of the problems of “Old People” today. I hate to come across as some kind of righteous child, but the fact of the matter is that corporal punishment can go wrong. You’ve had a bad day at work. Your has you sleeping on the couch. And to top it all up, Junior decides to play hookie. SPANK the little cretin!!!! SPANK him because that’s just the easiest way to get him to do as You Tell Him. SPANK him because he won’t question you when he grows up. SPANK him so he “Learns from his mistakes”. SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK till the poor bugger’s either willing to cave to any suggestion you might offer, (Junior, you’re a worthless piece of shit. You shouldn’t have been born. Yes dad, you’re right dad, I’ll never do it again, PleaseDon’tHurtMe.). or he associates you with pain and mortified humiliation to the extent that he’ll go out of his way to do the exact opposite of what you’d like.

      Obviously, then, the young people are to blame. Because the grownups are saints and always do the right thing.

      Jesus. This is a post against instant gratification. Methinks corporal punishment is a form of instant gratification for the parent. You don’t put in actual effort into conditioning your child in a healthy manner. You just SPANK the little bugger and it’s all roses.

      • Oldperson in youngperson costume. permalink
        1:46 am

        Now that is interesting. It would take more effort to discipline without spanking like I was as a child. It involved being taken by the hand and walked briskly until I tired out and eased the tantrum then a stern talking to and I was cured without spanking-also remembered that more but without the trauma of being beaten. Other times I just had a toy taken away but it was always explained why the boundary was set and a time limit was made. These psychological displine was more effective and fair. I never resented my parents.

        The children I knew that got spanked simply grew immune to the spanking and the physical punishment just had to be escalated into full-on beatings… It is indeed lazy parenting and turns against them when the child outgrows them….

  3. 2:15 am

    Awesome post, Don. You’ve got a way with angry words. “Snort a tab” indeed.

    What did happen to the good old “it takes forever to do anything” days? I used to have to wait 4-6 weeks for my credit card application to be declined. Now I can have my credit record sneered at by someone an ocean away in less time than it takes to say “sir” in a voice that indicates it would rather be saying “prick.”

    There’s no limit to the amount of things I can be turned down for instantly now. The whole world (financial world, especially) has become that chick you never had a chance with but drunkenly tried to ask out at the bar.

    Nothing like instant rejection.

    • 1:37 pm

      An excellent point, CLT.

      And don’t get me started on call centres and damned phone trees. I can’t press “1” for English and I’m not about to give up my rotary phone just to please some multinational fat cats.

      All the best lad,


  4. 3:17 am

    Instant “gratification” is something I am trying to get my wife to understand…and appreciate. It is not working so far.

    • 1:44 pm


      Nice to see you back lad. Hope you’ve been keeping well.

      I’m sure your wife will come around eventually. The wonderful thing about marriage is that both spouses lower their expectations of each other gradually but steadily over time.

      All the best,


  5. 5:06 am

    It’s not just that they expect instant gratification, they think they deserve it. What has this generation done to deserve anything instantly? In my day, I was happy to wait 9 months for popcorn and I was thankful when it wasn’t burnt. If it was burnt, my Grammy called it Chinese frosting and told me to shut up and eat it. And I did.

    • 5:43 pm

      Many thanks Yellowcat,

      Once again, your Grammy proves herself to a sensible and resourceful woman.

      My old mom didn’t call it Chinese Frosting – she just told us we were lucky to have food in front of us.
      And then she told us to shut up and eat it. And we did too.

      All the best and thanks for visiting,


  6. 5:15 am

    I’m not a child anymore but…welllll I love instant stuff.
    I love my DVR (TIVO)
    I love my messenger.
    I despise snail mail.
    I love my remote to the radio.
    I don’t even like waiting the one minute it takes for my computer to boot up.
    I will agree that parents need to stop giving in to the newer, bigger, better pleas from their children. I was very happy with my last cell phone that was cracked, beaten and five years old before I finally replaced it. If parents actually started telling their kids no, it would be a great improvement on our society…and I’ll second bring back corporal punishment.
    Can we also remove all energy drinks and caffeine from them until at least eighteen…come on now…but that would be common sense which was lost some where along the way.

    • 8:17 am

      Don’t despise the snail mail Suzette……. it’s still one of the most romantic ways to woo a lover

      • 3:22 pm

        Unfortunately that lover has been through 3 of your friends who use email before your letter arrives.

      • downcastmysoul permalink
        7:29 pm

        Snail mail to me was a pleasure that is now lost.

        Yeah, the email clients give you a choice of “stationery” and “smilies” but it’s not the same.

        Sitting down with pen, paper, coffee, and all the time in the world to craft a letter to a friend was wonderful.

        The letter would include endless PS’s and also drawings in the margins. I miss it so much.

        Now, with 9/11, I’m not sure that a snail letter would not be opened.

        The letters of past noted people are considered an art form now.

    • 5:49 pm

      Many thanks Suzette,

      I have no idea what a DVR is but it sounds insidious to me. And I suppose it’s my age but I have to confess that I enjoy nothing more than getting a nice letter via the post. I think people put more damn energy, thought and time in a real piece of correspondence.

      Regardless, I’d say older folks have earned the right to enjoy some efficiencies. It’s the damned people expecting it and demanding it all the time that curls my cream.

      Many thanks for stopping in Suzette.

      Best regards,


      • Llarien permalink
        12:05 pm

        Please continue sending letters (and perhaps even parcels) via the post. I appreciate your support.

  7. 5:25 am

    If you receive too much instant gratification, then there’s nothing left to wait for except death.

  8. frigginloon permalink
    5:46 am

    It took me three years to make an apple pie once. Friggin fruit flies one year and a shonky harvester the next! They don’t make harvesters like they use to and let me tell you they are a bitch to turn in suburban backyards. Geez!

    • 10:04 am

      They grow illegal aliens that big down under?

    • 6:32 pm

      Many thanks Frigginloon,

      Sorry to hear about the harvester challenges. I’ve taken out my neighbours fence with the riding mower more than a few times and can appreciate how challenging it is to navigate the damned tiny lots they build homes on nowadays.

      And while 3 years is a long time to wait for a pie – I bet it was especially satisfying once you finally dug your fork into it.

      Nice to see you and thanks for visiting.


      • frigginloon permalink
        1:18 pm

        Fork? I am still working on that Mr Mills.

  9. 6:05 am

    Didn’t you grow your own cotton and raise your own sheep so you could spin it into threads to make your own clothes? We did.

    • 6:34 pm

      Many thanks for the comment Ian and welcome.

      Sadly, we didn’t grown cotton or raise sheep. My old mom did make a lot of our clothes though. Gunny sack shirts, potato sack pants and a pair of cornflake box shoes saw me through most of grade school.

      Nice of you to visit,


  10. 6:23 am

    God damned right we want it now. YOUR generation started the ice caps melting and the polar bears dying and the oil tankers spilling and the spotted owl extincting (?) and the honeybee drying up… we gotta get while the gettin’s good. How can you undo that?

    • 1:21 pm


    • 6:36 pm

      Many thanks Penforhire,

      Now you’ve gone and got me hungry for some polar bear soup and spotted owl pie (with honey).

      I’ll have to see what I have in the freezer.

      Appreciate your taking the time to visit.


  11. 9:18 am

    WOWSERS! Im not allowed to make popping corn as it gets into my braces, but that sounds like you had a wonderful childhood with popcorn, Mr Mills!

    Like you, i dont expect anything to come to me right this minute, but it IS nice when it does. I expect time and hard work to get what im looking for and thats the way it should be!

    So wonderful reading your words again, sir! Mum grounded me for 2 weeks, but im back now and i just LOVE reading your blobs!



    • 6:39 pm

      Young Bob!

      So nice to see you back lad. I’m sorry to hear you’ve grounded and am curious to know the reason, Bob. I hope you haven’t been disrespectful to your old mom or up to mischief with those actor friends of yours!

      You keep working hard and waiting patiently, Bob. It’s bound to pay off for you in the long run.

      All the best,


      • 4:09 am

        Oh no sir, no disrespect, just a minor problem with me keeping time and not calling her every hour like im supposed to! Its harsh, but fair and i dont expect any special treatment because im her special man!


  12. 9:59 am

    I once asked my father if we could get a swimming pool. He said, “Sure thing, son, as soon as our ship comes in.” Damn good thing we lived by the ocean, because I spent my days down there waiting for that ship. In the meantime, I learned to swim, saved a seven year old girl from a riptide, and was awarded a junior lifeguard badge. I also learned how to play ping pong from the city champion, do back flips off the gym equipment built in the sand, play beach volleyball and surf on three hundred pound boards. I also made a ton of friends and ogled the first girl I saw wearing a bikini.

    Our ship never did come in, but I wouldn’t trade the waiting for anything in the world. The damn kids nowadays would try to hijack the ship, and sue the owners when all they find on it is empty containers.

    • frigginloon permalink
      1:13 pm

      You sound like Forrest Gump !

      • 1:22 pm

        I gothcha Forrest Gump! And raise you one Heidi.

        • frigginloon permalink
          1:20 pm

          I’ll take Heidi for Julie Andrews and one defriending on Facebook!

    • David permalink
      2:14 pm

      If you lived by the ocean what the hell did you need with a pool anyway? Sounds just plain greedy to me.

    • 6:47 pm

      Many thanks Jammer,

      That’s a fine story and an important life lesson. Nothing for me to add other than a hearty “well said.”

      All the best,


  13. Catherine permalink
    3:27 pm

    “The only things they are prepared to wait for are looking for work, responsibility and pulling their own damned weight.” As as new-ish reader, Don, I don’t like to correct you but they are not the ‘only’ things kids wait for. What about helping out at home, doing something for someone else, leaving home, standing on their own two feet and contributing to society? With a few years evolution I think we will see them losing the use of their legs and growing an enlarged thumb for all this texting along with a couple of extra ears for all this ipod and phone nonsense.

    • 6:53 pm

      Thanks for the comment Catherine,

      Feel free to correct me at any time – I welcome the help. You’re absolutely right, of course. My list was just a “Reader’s Digest” version and included only the three broad categories I see most commonly. As you point out, there are numerous other specifics that could have been included.

      Thanks for the help. Very nice to hear from you.

      Best regards,


  14. 4:38 pm

    To be fair, Don, we all want instant gratification when we are young. It is perfectly normal. For instance, as a lad I could rub one off in about 30 seconds. And that was with a Good Housekeeping magazine. It all came so easy…so to speak. Why not think everything in life would be like rubbing one off?

    True, some things took time. My x-ray glasses and sea donkeys, (or monkeys or whatever the hell they were), took forever to come but none of us owned a clock so it didn’t matter.

    And don’t lie about the popcorn. You used the same damned Jiffy Pop like the rest of us and shook that thing until your arm was sore. Then you took the aluminum foil top, filled it with mashed potatos, wrapped it around your thingy, and humped it as if it were Angie Dickenson all night long…just like we all did. Ah…those were the days.

    • 8:29 pm

      O______________________O You had sex with mashed potatos?! And I thought my wearing glasses and different clothes to buy playboys was bad.

    • 10:28 pm

      Good God Tannerleah,

      In three short paragraphs you’ve managed to ruin Good Housekeeping Magazine, popcorn, Pepper Anderson and mashed potatoes for me forever. That’s quite a feat.

      And the only questionable thing I’ve ever done with mashed potatoes was mold them into a small bust of Richard Dreyfuss.

      All the best,


      • 10:56 pm

        I can’t eat potatoes or any starches because of my Hypo glecimea, but I’m sure as hell never touching a potatoe again. I’m scared.

  15. 6:08 pm

    Instant gratification? How about that?

    Arthur – Dad, I need 50 bucks to go out with my girlfriend.

    Me – How is that? YESTERDAY I gave you 50 cause you said you and Alicia were going out!

    Arthur – That’s right. But I broke up with her and I need another 50 to go out with Sandra tonight.

    Me – Hell no!

    Arthur – That’s fine! Can she sleep over?

    Me reaching to my gun…

    You see, Don… and psychologists keep telling us not to say no!

    • 10:40 pm


      That Arthur of yours is quite the Lothario isn’t he?

      I’d keep an eye on that boy or pretty soon you are going to be Grandpa Ivan he’s going to be asking you for money AND free babysitting.

      And you can forget the psychologists, what is important is that the young ladies remember to say no!

      All the best Ivan. Tell Arthur if he wants $50 he can come do some odd jobs for me. I need my eaves cleaned, my yard raked and my windows caulked. He’s not afraid of heights is he?

      Thanks for visiting,


      • 12:48 am

        He said he would take the offer “if you send some pictures of the 15-17 year old chicks in your block.”

        I’ll give this boy a beat and there’ll be no waiting for this!

        I’m not visiting Don. You know I’m here to stay! 🙂

        Your friend,


        • 1:11 am

          Many thanks Ivan,

          I’m not sure that the young ladies on my block would appreciate me skulking around with my old hasseblad in hand. Besides, if the lad works for me he won’t have time to be thinking about girls.

          os agradecimentos para o tipo exprimem meu amigo. É sempre maravilhoso mandá-lo visitar.


  16. Emily permalink
    7:36 pm

    Listening to your blogs makes me wish I grew up back then. I love listening to my grandparents’ stories from their childhood and I feel especially lucky when my 91-year old great grandmother tells me one. When I think about it, isn’t it the new instant stuff and credit cards that got us into this whole economic mess?

    Best wishes,

    • 10:43 pm

      Many thanks Emily and welcome,

      It’s nice to hear from a young person that enjoys spending time with their grandparents – and who values what they have to say. Your lucky to have your great grandmother and I’m sure she feels lucky to have you.

      And, yes, I believe you are right about the need for “instant stuff” having a pretty significant hand in this current mess we’re in.

      Thanks so much for stopping in. Give me best to your great grandmother.

      Best regards,


  17. downcastmysoul permalink
    7:43 pm

    Ahhh, the good old days…when one was broke, one could “float” a check 3 days before payday and it wouldn’t clear until 2 days after that.

    You could walk around town without a phone attached to your ear or the text ready for your thumbs. You were secure being by yourself for awhile until you met up with your friends.

    The things kids could NOT wait for back then was to move out since parents weren’t free hotels with no rules, a job, since parents weren’t money fountains just sitting there waiting to buy junior a car, and a mate, since there was no interwebz pron.

    BTW I have thrown out my microwave and my TV in past years. Stove popcorn pops almost as fast and TV is a waste of time as I found out not long ago when I was just about forced to watch large amounts of it.

    There was one show called “bridezilla” about how nasty women got before their weddings. All I could think of was “disgusting pigs”, they should be grateful someone wanted to marry their fat (mostly) asses with 4 kids in tow from 4 different fathers.

    • 10:53 pm

      Thank you downcastmysoul,

      Well said, lass. Especially the whole notion about not waiting to move out. You’re damn right there. We couldn’t wait to strike out on our own and if we did hesitate – we would have been tossed out on our asses anyway.

      I don’t use a microwave either. Give me a decent toaster oven, a small stove and a kettle and I’ve got all the fire power I need in a kitchen. I haven’t heard of this “Bridezilla” show but is sounds damned frightening. Can’t say I’m suprised though – ever since they cancelled the Ed Sullivan show back in 71 televisions been on a steady decline.

      Hope you’re well, downcastmysoul. Always nice of you to stop in with me.



  18. 8:30 pm

    I must, albeit reluctantly, agree with you Mister Mills. Even though Marijuana does not come in tabs and it is typically smoked or put in backed goods or tea, you do have a point. Actually Ironically enough, I know people who have gained self restraint in attempting to find pot because of discreet one would be.

    Personally I think all young people should be taught to use a fencing sword, preferably from me. Why you ask? Because it takes God damned determination and stick to itiveness to do it. I’ve been practicing nearly constantly for five years, fencing and also horse baking riding and ,by Athena, it made me a better person.

    I think downloading music and being online is fine as long as the kids have something hey have to do that takes the ability to be patient and have discipline. I even have proof. My little cousin, seven years old, takes Karate and has to do push ups in gym. He patiently waits for our Grandma to get ready to go places and makes sure she has things and even once checked the locks for her.

    Inclosing, please send your children to me for instructions in sword fighting and discipline. I assure you a the least they will have a greater respect for women and hard work when they come back. Though they may be tired of walking to the store to get me cigarettes and cigars.

    Inclosing, Rose.

    Also May I call you Don? And my we have an email correspondence? I promise to write to you often.

    • 11:05 pm

      Hello Rose,

      First off, of course you may call me Don. But thank you for asking.

      Funny you should mention fencing. I was never much for the sporting life (that was more my brother Elgin’s forte) but I have always been drawn to fencing. I suppose it was all of the swashbuckler movies I saw as a lad. I never did get an opportunity to take it up (there weren’t a lot of pee wee fencing squads back in my day) but I’ve always admired the skill of those who did.

      So, good on you for taking it up, Rose. I’m sure it will serve you well. And I’m glad to hear your interested in instructing other young people as well (but I would strongly suggest you don’t use them as tobacco mules. Parents tend to take a dim view of that.)

      As for corresponding, I don’t tend to write or read emails much. It’s not really my style of communication. My brother York emailed my 6 months ago and finally got around to calling to ask me why I hadn’t responded to it. I told him I hadn’t read it and he got quite irritated. Apparently, you are supposed to check your damned mail 20 times a day. And if you don’t – and don’t respond to someone right away, it’s considered the height of rudeness. That’s too much pressure for me.

      I hope you’re doing well, Rose.

      Thanks for visiting,

      Best regards,


      • 11:16 pm

        I may have to get out my swashbucker out fit and buy a proper feincign sword and send you picture. I’m told I look quite dashing as pirate.

        Don as for emial style stuff I suggust you go to and get a screan name. Then you I and WindMyst song can chat. It will be a grand time I promise. And it’s not complicated.

  19. 8:33 pm

    *sincerrely Rose

  20. 11:56 pm

    They’ve even invented a faster drying paint and a faster growing grass. Now I can’t possibly use that as a way to kill time anymore. Seems the only thing I have to wait for anymore is your weekly blog posts. It’s a long, slow, agonizing week of waiting to laugh again.

    P.S. I’ve changed my gravatar from a gorgeous Siamese to … a, well, me. But I’m still the same dork that you’ve come to know.

    • 5:59 pm

      Many thanks for the kind words, Tricia.

      Nice to see the real you appearing on my screen. I’ve nothing against Siamese cats but for some reason they seem to have a longstanding unresolved grudge against me. My sister-in-law had one for years and it never missed an opportunity to take a swipe or give me a menacing hiss.

      Lovely of you to stop in and visit.


  21. 8:08 am

    I admit that moving here to Spain was a learning curve for me. They do things a lot slower if at all. They’ve have adopted the Jamaican saying, “Tomorrow soon come,” as their countries credo. Tomorrow rarely if ever comes though, and if it does, it’s the wrong size.

    After we had already ordered and paid for our phone line and internet, we had to wait two months for the service man to come and hook it up. Do you know what it’s like to go two months without phone, internet, or TV? Wait, yea I guess you do!

    I have finally total patience. I can know just sit in a chair and think of things that irritate or annoy me. That beats the hell out of this entertainment garbage they have going today!

    Great job as always Don!!

    • 6:00 pm

      Many thanks Scott.

      There is nothing I enjoy more than some quiet time in my easy chair and an opportunity to mull over the various affronts and indignities I’m faced with on a daily basis.

      Add a small glass of rye to the equation and you have, in my view, nature’s perfect “downtime.”

      As for the service man – patience will certainly help there. However, there is a fine line between waiting patiently and being the recipient of lousy customer service. And piss-poor customer service is another thing that burns me up.

      Enjoy your chair, Scott. Next to a weiner dog, it’s man’s best friend.

      All the best,


      • 7:42 pm

        Ha, next to a dachshund indeed! That’s a great memory you have Don! My apologies for the poor proof reading. I must have had one too many small (large) glasses of rye.

  22. 1:07 pm

    Once again you have hit the subject with a brick bat quite accurately.

    We have no microwave, but do have high speed internet. I’m not sure I could go back to dial up, and yet I have no problem planting tomato seeds in February so that I can harvest fresh beautiful tomatoes in July.

    The part about waiting and saving and planning ahead is what escapes young people today. That impatience leads to so many life-altering bad decisions I can’t even start to list them.

    Thanks for the laugh, even if it was a rather sarcastic one. . .

    • 6:01 pm

      Nice to hear from you healingmagichands,

      I don’t think I would want to go back to dial up either and I don’t suppose there is any need to do so. It’s more about expecting everything to happen at light speed that becomes the issue. Nothing wrong with efficiency, as long as people don’t forget that some things are worth waiting for. Your tomatoes being the perfect example.

      And I fully agree, more often then not rash impulses and impatience lead to damned poor life choices.

      Thanks for visiting. Always good to have you stop in.



  23. 1:28 pm

    Ah, microwaves. Now there’s a fine symbol of everything that’s wrong with the world today. Who the heck cares about taste, quality and possible radiation damage as long as it’s FAST.

    I feel that I am something of a novelty… A single guy who do not own a microwave. If I have people over and we’re going to cook up something, they ask me, “where’s the micro?” So I tell them there isn’t one, and they give me a look like I just asked them what green sounds like.

    • 6:02 pm

      Thanks T.J.

      I couldn’t agree more. And I saw a lady at the store the other day buying a microwave. She was looking for the one with the highest possible power because in her view, the “traditional” ones were just too damned slow.

      It’s amazing to me that the entire population hasn’t had one gigantic coronary yet.

      And I’ll have to remember the “what does green sound like” line. I suspect I’ll want to use that one regularly.

      Thanks for visiting T.J.


      • 7:49 pm

        Hmmm, seems to me that(“what does green sound like”) would be a great way for the crafty pensioner to trick people into thinking you’ve gone a bit daft, get them to let their guard down and then strike when they least expect it.

        Also, I will not take credit for it, I’m fairly sure I’ve picked it up somewhere.

  24. 2:25 pm


    A wise old man once said that that the youth of today have some serious problems. (He also said that God-damned tubby young people get stuck in his craw, but really, that’s beside the point)

    Coincidentally enough, one of those problems happens to be this one, and who better to teach these kids patience than you. Because not only do you talk the talk, you walk the walk (albeit painfully slowly and with a slight limp).

    I’m trying to teach my cousins the very same thing, but it’s been hard. Last weekend they were over, and Adam (the tall, geeky-looking one) decided to go to the store. So I asked him to pick me up a 2L of Diet-Pepsi, a large box of Bridge Mixture (have you tried those Don? Deelish!), bag of beef jerky, and US Weekly (to keep my reading skills up). When he returned with my score, he said I owed him $14.

    I replied by telling him that he shouldn’t expect monetary payment from family, and that you can’t put a price tag on “life-lessons”.

    (I don’t know exactly how, but I’m sure this story relates to your post in some way)

    Brilliant post as always Don. Oh, and don’t you dare let anyone tell you that you can’t snort a tab of marijuana…it’s a free Country, and you’ve earned the right to do whatever the hell you want. You’ve been cooling your heels long enough.

    Your friend,

    • 6:11 pm

      Many thanks Bschooled,

      You keep working on that Adam lad. He’s damned lucky to have a cousin who is willing to invest the time to teach him some valuable lessons. I certainly hope you ended the session by telling him that he brought you the wrong soda and then whacking him one with your cane (or whatever a young Canadian woman’s equivilent might be).

      Nothing hammers a lesson home like a quick crack to the skull. Its been proven over and over again.

      And funny you should mention the Bridge Mixture. I never cared for it much myself (I’m more of a hard candy man myself), it was the favourite treat of my beloved Aggie. If I ever slighted her, misbehaved or just wanted to make her smile I’d bring her home a package. Never failed.

      Thanks for visting, Bschooled, and for giving me pause to think about Aggie.

      Always a highlight of my day.

      Your friend,


  25. 4:58 pm

    Very true. Consider even the business of sex. In my country, in my father’s time, a guy and a girl took about a year to hold hands once they knew each others’ names, the first kiss probably took a decade and if they were lucky and parental opposition wasn’t too stubborn they might get down to the actual business just before menopause. Today youngsters have sex a couple of times first and then get to know each others’ names through Facebook or Orkut. Instant gratification is certainly the keyword for them even in our country now.

  26. 5:52 pm

    Don….You’ll enjoy this!

    • 6:26 pm

      “Everything’s amazing, nobody’s happy.”

      Sad, but oh so true. Wise words indeed.

    • 1:16 am

      Many thanks Yorksnbeans,

      You’re right, I really did enjoy that. It was beautiful!

      Thanks for visiting.


  27. bohemianrant permalink
    5:59 pm

    I couldn’t agree more, Don! As usual, you’ve hit the nail on the head. If today’s youth have to wait more than 10 seconds for anything, they slip into a coma of boredom and apathy. Thank you for the enlightening post.

    • 1:20 am

      Many thanks bohemianrant,

      Nice of you to stop by again. Have you heard the old chestnut about the teacher getting fed up with the poor performance of one of his young students and asking the lad if the problem was ignorance or aparthy. The student looks up from his desk, gives him a vacant look, shrugs and says “I don’t know and I don’t care.”

      Sorry, it’s an old joke but your comment reminded me of it. It’s that apathy coma that always gets me steamed.

      All the best,


  28. Lynn permalink
    6:05 pm

    wax records, ah yes..the good old days…remember the plastic thing that fit into the old 45s? what’s that called? another good post, i for one am almost not worthy.

    • 7:32 pm

      i called it a doohickie

    • 1:24 am

      Lovely to see you Lynn,

      Can’t help you with the “doohickie” name but if that’s what Zman called it, it’s good enough for me. My old 78s didn’t need any plastic inserts. you just cranked the handle, tossed them on and let ’em rip.

      Still have a box full of them downstairs and a working victrola. Maybe I’ll dust some off and give them a listen.

      Thanks again for visiting.


      • Lynn permalink
        10:30 pm

        oh, you really are “old school” aren’t you? you’re almost archaeic, but still very handsome. you preserve well.

  29. 7:32 pm

    Mr Mills…

    Yepper those young uns sure are in rush to get things and see things and do things…but thats what your suppose to do when your younger..dont know you missed it until you figure out later in life..what you missed….perhaps you need to get an XBOX and get all amped on RED BULL AND HALO…zman sends

    • 1:33 am

      Jesus Zman,

      I don’t mind people getting things done quickly, I just can’t tolerate it when they somehow come to expect that everything be handed to them NOW – without working for it, earning it, deserving it or even really trying for it.

      And you don’t want to see me “amped” on Red Bull, son. It wouldn’t be pretty.

      Now, to change subjects, I hope to hell you are still planning to wear a Don Mills mask on Halloween. (I remember everything damn it!). I can’t scare all the kids on my own and can use the help. Don’t worry if you’re having trouble with the costume – I’m hoping to post something soon that may help.

      All the best Zman,


  30. Lily Fossil permalink
    10:58 am

    Dear Donald,

    As usual, I agree entirely with your estimations of young people wanting instant gratification for all their petty incessant “needs” but it’s their young parents who are the real culprits, because they are too lazy to teach their children anything, let alone “virtues”, like patience, or the real value of hard work and saving money.

    I too, was brought up to appreciate saving up my meagre pocket money and buying something that I wanted. I remember when I wanted a stereo record player, it cost $75 and it took me two years to save up for it and when I finally bought it, with my own money, it was the sweetest thing imaginable.

    These days it is all “me, me, me” gimme, gimme, gimme” NOW. It is sickening and makes me cranky.

    Need a strong cup of tea now and a lie down,

    Lily Fossil.

    • 11:58 am

      Thank you Lily,

      I tend to share your view that the parents have a hand in this problem. My old mom and dad would never have tolerated the type of petulant, lazy and demanding behavior so prevalent among young people today.

      I too recall having to save my nickels and take odd jobs if I wanted a new pocket knife or the latest comic book and while my patience was not as great as yours (my ability to save generally ran out at about 6 months) it certainly taught me a thing or two about responsibility and financial planning.

      And I agree, there was nothing quite like of the satisfaction of finally being able to purchase something you had saved long and hard for. You tended to appreciate your belongings more if you worked for them – and were less inclined to toss them aside after a week and start demanding the “newer” damned version.

      Many thanks Lily. Always a pleasure to hear from you.

      Best regards,


    • 5:36 pm

      Oh, you also enjoy tea? What is your favorite type? I my self love Chai.

    • downcastmysoul permalink
      6:50 pm


      When I was in my late teens I wanted one of those ginormous boom boxes that people had then and I had to put it on layaway. I went in and put money “down” on it when I could and finally got it. It was at least 150.00. It could play radio, and had two cassette decks so you could record off of tapes to make tape copies for friends. The music industry hadn’t gone all greed-o-matic then. It’s probably a felony now. You could also make tape copies of RECORDS (yes I’m that old) by using the “line in” function of the radio. The speakers detached so you could seperate them at home for that “stereo” sound. It had “Dolby” stereo. If you wanted to take it out (it was about the size of a 3 year old) it took 6 “D” batteries at least.

      I was happy and excited when I got it home. It was one of the few things I’ve ever owned that wasn’t given to me or handed down. It only worked a few months. I had to take it back to the manufacturer to get it fixed. I had it a few years after that. It was the only stereo I ever owned besides a hand-me-down stereo with one speaker broken that could only be listened to on headphones.

      I never even owned a CD until 2005. Now everything is digital. To listen to music one must own a MP3 or IPOD and buy music online. The radio stations are garbage and mostly ads. If you want quality radio you have to BUY that as well or listen to an online radio station. Pity the person who still only has a radio and cassettes. I was in for a shock there as well. I went to the store in 2005 with my cassette player and there were no cassettes for sale. I went and bought a CD player Walkman. It ate batteries at the rate of one per hour. What is the damn world coming to?

      • Lily Fossil permalink
        9:09 pm

        Dear Downcastmysoul,

        This is one of the things that annoys me most about the new technologies; these companies seem to foist their new products on us whether we want them or not and often there is nothing wrong with the older version at all.

        I have always liked music and since that first record player I bought I have always had something to play music on. But now it has become a joke. The last sound system I purchased had a 3 CD player, Double Cassette player and a Radio built in. This enabled me to copy music from CD’s to cassettes, at a time when my car only had a Cassette player.

        Not surprisingly, this “new” stereo was full of gremlins and it was no time at all till the CD player stopped working and the cassette players in it seized up. It was almost as if it had a timer in it and on such and such date it was programmed to become defunct. The only functions it has now that work (besides collecting dust) is the radio, which I can’t use because the volume dial doesn’t work, and a MD function (I presume this means mini-disc) and by some sheer stroke of wizardry I have been able to hook up this function to my laptop.

        This means that now, all my CD’s must be saved on the computer and the music comes through the sounds system. Sometimes I wonder if this is exactly what the makers wanted to happen, but of course I had to buy a computer.

        I too, lament the days when putting on some music was special. Selecting the record , taking it out of its cover and placing it on the turntable and listening to the whole album was a joy of which young people today have no knowledge.

        Our “culture” is much worse for it too, in my opinion.

        Best Wishes,


        • downcastmysoul permalink
          1:11 am

          I was thinking of the situation the other day and yes, the music situation today forces you to buy a computer. I have an old(ish) radio I bought about 7 years ago that plays CD’s and tapes but I only bought a few CDs. New CDs are about 15 bucks today and now I don’t live at home anymore.

          The radio stations used to help by playing “album sides” which I would copy onto cassettes, but no more. I think it’s an ASCAP (ass shat) rule that the disc jockey must talk between each song so people will be discouraged from taping off the radio. They also must play 2 songs then have 10 minutes of commercials.

          You can listen to non profit radio like NPR (national public radio here in the States) but they have beg a thons.

          Digital music costs just as much as hard copy music (CD, cassette, album) and does not sound as good. Listen to the drums on a track. They are terrible. The depth and richness of the track will be compromised as well, forcing you to turn up your player. If you listen to metal, it’s OK, but blasting other stuff does not always fly and you could go deaf (I don’t mind being “deaf” around others however.).

          You CAN get free downloads to play on the computer and computer radio stations that are far more customized than the sh*t the radio still offers, though.

          I don’t remember when my super big boom box “died” but it’s long gone. Yours sounds even more super than mine (bought in the 80s). You had a CD changer.

          I do miss the big old albums, but, they did melt in the sun if you went anywhere and got scratched. I was a cassette person. Never had an 8 track.

  31. 4:31 pm

    When I was a young man immediate gratification was something you waited your whole life for. You never expected it, it never came and life was better that way.

    A Will Rogers for our time. That is suitable for framing.

  32. Ryan permalink
    3:50 pm

    Hello, Mr. Donald Mills.

    My name is Ryan K. I’ve been a semi – long time reader of this blog, and I have to admit you’re right about most things you scribble down. Throughout my days in middle school I attended a low standard, low quality establishment with a student population of about fourteen hundred. Out of those fourteen hundred, all but about ten or twenty students were the kind of kids you talk about on this blog. It was down right pathetic.

    In those three dreaded years, I was insulted, tripped, shoved, punched, threatened, given death threats and even stabbed once. Trust me when I say I’ve been around the block. Now, I’m a fifteen year old high school sophomore, but I can tell you I don’t even have a cell phone. In my honest opinion cell phones are nothing more than a noisy, distracting nuisance and serve little use in the hands of today’s youth but to cause car accidents and slowly leech away at the cerebellum of the device’s holder.

    Now, in response to this article in particular, I’ve seen enough of this behavior to fill eight dump trucks and lay a foundation for a good, sturdy upper class manor. Everyone has to have the latest iPhone, iPod, iTouch. If they can’t have the same pointless things as their peers, they throw a temper tantrum, insult their parents and storm off in to their room. Maybe let them go without shelter, food and water for a few days to make them appreciate what they’ve got and show them the true value of the working man.

    Respectfully, Ryan.

    • 11:43 pm

      Many thanks Ryan,

      I appreciate your comment very much. It’s always nice to get the perspective of a young person – especially one as sensible as youself.

      I expect your views won’t be popular with your peers, Ryan, but I for one applaud your common sense. It will serve you well in the long run and of that, I’m quite sure.

      Hold the course, Ryan, and best of luck at highschool.

      Thanks again for the comment.



  33. 5:54 pm

    There’s a saying I used to see at my auto mechanic’s shop office:

    If you want it fast and cheap, it won’t be good.
    If you want it fast and good, it won’t be cheap.
    If you want it cheap and good, it won’t be fast.

    And if you want the government to do it, it won’t be good, fast, or cheap.

    • 11:44 pm

      Many thanks Ahmnodt,

      I like that very much. It makes a Hell of a lot of sense to me.

      All the best,


    • 10:52 pm

      Fantastic, Mr.Heare!

      I shall shamelessly steal that, and make a sign with it for the wall near my desk at work.

  34. Sherri permalink
    12:38 am


    Your blogs rock! I literally lol!!!! I have to admit that at times, I’m guilty of wanting “instant gratification” technology and our parents are to blame I say!

  35. 5:29 pm

    On my favorite radio show “wait wait don’t tell me” which I need to wait a week to hear, the comedian being interviewed called teenagers, “mentally ill people with car keys.” I loved it.

  36. 10:15 pm

    Have i ever told you you remind me of hal holbrook in men of honor…he was and honorary cuss as well

  37. redriverpak permalink
    11:46 pm


  38. 2:05 pm

    I love the way you structure your posts. It gets me fired up at you stereotyping young people, but then it also gets me fired up AT young people.

    I love it! Keep it up 😀

  39. 8:53 pm

    As usual, you are spot on, Don. I remember when we spent most of our summers cuttin’, splittin’ and stackin’ wood so we could heat our humble little abode and if I was lucky I might have a few logs for spending an evening playing cribbage by the fire with my honey. Heck, we could start and tend a fire before we could tie our shoes (though truth be told that may have something to do with the fact that our hand-me-down shoes didn’t necessarily come with laces).

    Nowadays these kids have digital thermostats so they can have Goldilocks’ just right temperature instantaneously all year long by just touching a little arrow on a control pattern. And for a date they just get out one of those so-called universal remote thingys and simultaneously dim the lights, turn on mood music from a satellite radio station and light a gas flame around some fake ceramic logs. No smell of burning wood, embers flying … no inhalation of carcinogens. I ask you, Don, where’s the romance in that?

    I admit, I do have a high-speed internet connection but as you pointed out, efficiency is an entirely different matter. Anyway, there isn’t much to smile about these days but I genuinely enjoy reminiscing about the good ol’ days by visiting your pages but do I just click on the link when I see in my rss feeds that you have updated your page? No, I do not – I wait. I wait until I have done enough work that I feel deserving of a little reward, that’s what I do. I can help but thinking this is a direct result of them getting instantly rewarded (with trophies even) for anything beyond breathing. Thanks for your insight Don – someone needs to keep an eye on these whippersnappers.

  40. pot head permalink
    2:13 pm

    i think the problem here is your jealous. your angry that we teenagers have these nice things and that you never got to use them. what are you even trying to do here. do you think that by posting these blogs that it is going to stop teenagers from using a microwave. im sorry for wanting things to be done faster. is it a crime to want things now? i dont know if it really took to 9 months just to get some popcorn. i bet that inside you had the desire for things to get done quicker. you just never had an opportunity to. i bet that if you did have an opportunity to you would have in a heartbeat. so dont get mad at us when we take advantage of the things your generation gave us. we use it because we can and because its convenient.

  41. ryan permalink
    6:29 pm

    Think about what your saying. Your blaming kids for these expectations? Makes no sense, your generation has fostered this environment. Your generation is responsible for the laptops, cell phones, xbox, ect..ect.. You think Microsoft and Google hire a bunch of 14 year olds kids to engineer this stuff? Kids are forced into this society and manipulated by marketers to think this way. So before you blame children on these conditions, look in the mirror or blame people within your generation for engineering this type of society. Children are very easily manipulated…..

  42. Joe permalink
    2:18 am

    Times are changing, old man.

  43. 6:59 pm

    Tell this to my parents!

    When they want something done by me, they’re always “Do it NOW NOW NOW”, yet when I ask them about something, they’re always like “In a minute”.

    So really, who’s to blame for teenagers like us? : P

  44. 12:28 am

    I think you may (or may not) enjoy my response to what’s all wrong with us young people.
    I really love your blog and agree with a lot you have to say about us!

  45. diane permalink
    12:43 pm

    I’m not sure this is relevant but…you should have seen my grand kids try to use a hand can opener.

  46. 8:59 pm

    Dear Mr. Mills
    Goddammit I just penned a hilarious and heartfelt comment that my goldanged apple went and posted to never-neverland.
    Ron Parker

  47. 12:00 am

    Reblogged this on GRUMPY'S WACKY WORLD : Life as viewed through smudged and grimy bifocals. and commented:
    One more Don Mills for you!

  48. Abdullah Khan permalink
    1:56 pm

    yes you are absolutely right. I’m having the same situation,, when i don’t get something or when i get rejected for something i get too much angry that sometimes i punch and kick stuff like table, walls etc. i know it’s funny but im getting worried now. is this something with my brain? how to get rid of this shit? it’s eating me inside!

  49. Salman Afzal Wahla permalink
    11:10 pm

    It seems like two different life styles, one is filled with patience and control which eventually makes one understood the true value of things and even life. Other is filled with impatience and greed which gives a cretin kind of rush, which is also life filling and comes with it’s own colors and emotions.
    It’s obvious the first one life style is the way of living and have the ability to grant us, peace of mind.

  50. Salman Afzal Wahla permalink
    11:23 pm

    But living in such times, where i am trying to be patience but many others are not is also very stressful.
    Sometimes i hear thing’s like, “That smart guy over there, achieved his goal within 2 months.”
    And i was talking to my self, “Why you are so slow!!!”
    To be honest, in times like these, it’s getting harder to understood true meaning of life, even if i do understand meaning of life, such “smart guys” push’s me not to believe on “patience”.
    Life’s environment we are living in is different, complicated and short, many mouths to feed but few chances to gain. I think the right thing to do is take your chances.

  51. David permalink
    2:07 pm

    I have noticed younger people are more impatience I remember if I was out of line or spoke out of turn my face would meet my mums hand hard.

    I personally don’t see the need to have the newest phone , a phone is a phone so long as you can call people and text if need be that is all that is required


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