All About Me
My name’s Don.
I don’t care much for young people and I’m not too sure how I feel about you.
Thanks for visiting.
Please note that I’ve closed the comments on this page as it was loading too damned slowly. If you like, you can leave a message for me over at “All About Me 2.”
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The Problem with Young People Today Is... 
Oh, I love your sense of humor!!
Thanks Joan,
Very kind of you to say. And I appreciate your taking the time to visit with me.
Don
An Obituary printed in the London Times…….. Interesting and sadly rather true
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn’t always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I’m A Victim
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing
This is so brilliant! Thank you. My 12 year old son SHALL read it!
I reckon all those people who keep asking what the world is coming to should definitely read this.
Common sense is still alive and well here, it and I sit back and watch those who don’t have it pass by wondering why their lives are so bad.
Thanks for sharing.
The world is turning into this strange topsy turvy place.
Wow. This is “copy and put on the fridge” worthy. Outstanding, and sadly true.
I have so many examples from substitute teaching, and working with a group of “me firsts” for almost ten years, that it would take-up many screens on the computer.
Outstanding.
That’s a good one, gonna print it out and and put it on the wall. I’m in college now, and was lucky to have had the influence of really terrific grand parents, it’s true so many people I know are lacking common sense.
Oh my goodness. Please don’t stop writing. Your posts are hilarious.
I suppose I could be categorized as a ‘young person’, but I’m not your average, run of the mill ‘young person’, and therefore seem to agree with everything you say. How odd.
Thank you very kindly silentorchestra,
I won’t be stopping anytime soon. I’ve got a laundry list of problems with young people today.
And, don’t you worry about being a “young person”. You’ll grow out of it soon enough. And in the meantime, you must be the exception that proves the rule.
Again, many thanks
Don
I like this blog, I’ll be following it. I guess I would be considered young but I’m 21 so I’m kind of old, but after a reading your posts I already agree with you. I’m actually an introvert that rarely hangs with people my own age even in high school and its because there’s so many things wrong with youngins’ these days.
Great blog, can’t wait to read more!
Thank you for your kind words, Sensico. You seem like a nice young lady and I appreciate your stopping by to visit.
Define ‘irony’: An old man writing a blog about how he hates young people.
I’m proud of you for being original. I’m disappointed with the fact that you’re still alive.
You’re not a very nice young person lazyeverdays.
But that’s okay. I understand. I was 16 once too. All serious and self-rightous and dark and fatalistic. Discovering girls and feeling self conscious. Hair growing in new places.
It’s not easy. Your hormones are all akimbo and your emotions are all out of whack. Your body is changing and sometimes you’re not sure who you are or what your doing.
It’s easy to lash out an old man. But it’s still rude. I expect you’ll apologize once you have a chance to calm down.
Hold steady lad. It doesn’t last forever.
God bless
Don
Fine. We apologize. a*= d2(1-d1)/1-d1d2.
For the record, that means Your Patience > Ours.
Its also easy to criticise young people since we don’t have the right to vote and we are under represented in the media.
PS I would like to thank you and your generation for destroying our planet so that you could have a great party.
Thanks David.
Sorry for the delay in responding, I was just eating a plate of bald eagle and pouring some pcbs down the sink. It was a hell of a party, lad, sorry you missed it. Afraid we left a bit of a mess…
And you’re damned right on the media. Thanks for stopping in. Have to run – off to watch that pup Larry King on the Maganavox!
and you call young poeple rude..mm
sure
What the hell does ‘the right to vote’ have to do with young people having good manners; or their not-much-older parents having them? Young people are fairly represented in the media (at least in South Carolina) when they have something of value to offer and worth listening to and not a diatribe in self-centeredness.
under-represented in the media?
what about mtv, mtv2, cartoon network, the disney channel, kids choice awards, and the fifty different rap music channels pasted all over cable television?
no, it’s easy to criticize young people because they’re a disgrace. most of them can’t walk upright, keep their pants pulled up or put down the damned cell phone.
and as far as ‘destroying the planet’, you’ve got quite a few generations of party-minded geniuses to thank there.
the important thing is, you clearly think that your voice isn’t heard, and that you know how to correct the mistakes of several generations that came before you, right.
so, we’re listening. you’ve got full coverage now.
what’s your big idea?
the point remains this: a lot of this blog is opinion and humor. if you’re offended by the crabby old fart, then it’s because you either you ARE a lazy pain-in-the-ass teenager, or you want to BE one.
either way, who cares?
if you weren’t a lazy ass, why would you be offended? pull your pants on and go back to work with the adults.
Something that annoys me more than young people is incorrect grammar.
If you want to say “you are” please use the abbreviation “you’re” instead of “your”.
Sorry Travis that comment isn’t for you. It was supposed to be in response to Donald Mill’s 18th April comment…and every other place where he writes your instead of you’re.
Duly admonished. Many thanks Gioia.
Must be getting sloppy in my old age.
All the best,
Don
Hi Don!!
I just added your blog to my blogroll! I can’t wait to hear what you have to say next. You crack me up!!! ROFLMAO!!
Your a good man, Gary. Thanks for stopping in and hope to see you soon.
Don ,
I am so happy to meet a real humorist , as I am just starting out I know that I have alot to learn ! your writing and sence of humor is a insperation to me…………did I mention i have alot to learn?
I have enjoyed reading your posts ……….good day sir ~Dave
Thanks for the kind words Dave. Hope to see you again soon.
Dear Don, just to hug you 🙂
mARIA
Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories? (Emo Philips)
Damn straight. Thanks for visiting Duncanr
umm sorry to disappoint but there is a law against child labor now…just to get a job i need to get a permit -_- so lame…
The problem with young people today is they don’t recognize satire even when it bites them on the ass.
Very funny. Great blog to read 🙂
Many thanks for saying so darangsta. Appreciate your stopping in
Hello Mr. Mills, I just wanted to say thank you . I really enjoy laughing as much as I did while reading your blog. I’ll be coming back for more.
Hello kalan joslin and thanks for your very kind words. Nice of you to visit with me and I look forward to seeing you again.
Don,
I find this blog entertaining. Keep up the good work and I may just rank you up their with my grandmother.
Thanks quantthefunk,
I’ll take that as a compliment.Now be a good lad and give your grandmother a call.
All the best
Don
You’re AMAZING!!
Keep it up 🙂
Thanks for that Tom. Kind of you to say so.
Hi Don! I just wanted to say that you are a very very attractive old man. I am an old woman and I need to find a man who shares my values. I am a six foot two inch African American with an insatiable appetite for cute little old men like yourself. Let me know!
My Goodness Luscious Lucy, I haven’t had an offer like that since I went to Dayton on a business trip back in 1972! Intriguing as it sounds, it’s only been 23 years since I buried my Aggie and I’m just not ready to start dating yet.
Many thanks and please, drop by for a visit again soon.
Respectfully,
Donald Mills
‘buried my Aggie’….
Now there’s a euphemism that could catch on!
Or am I being a touch smutty, and disrespectful?
Smutty or Disrespectful? You’re far too clever to be either Mr. NobblySan.
Thanks for the laugh. Aggie would have appreciated the joke – like you, she had a damned fine sense of humo(u)r.
All the best!
Don
Well, I stop here now and I’m just wow, you write quite well, beside this blog there’s some other work yours? This blog say everything that I will say when I get older, now I want to make the mistakes I have right to do, enjoy life, wiyh moderation of course, and you were a good help, keep your wonderful work.
Really thanks,
Isabel
Thank you Isabel. Appreciate your stopping in to visit and the kind words. Enjoy your mistakes (in moderation).
I’m curious what your thoughts are on the youth playing with fire. I mean, you probably played with fire when you were a young person yourself. Do you feel young people are too scared to play with fire or not scared enough? I would love to hear your opinion on this!
Tough question Michaeldonovan but my immediate reaction is to say “both.”
It’s a puzzler though and worthy of more thought. I’ll get back to you on this one.
Thanks for visiting
You sound like my old man. Most of it true though…
I would venture to say that the biggest problem with young people today is their lazy arsed parents who don’t give a flying F at the proverbial rolling donut what their kids get up to nowadays.
Your old man sounds like a damned sensible fellow. Thanks for visiting das h.
What should I get get for a TATOO, old man?
signed,
only young between the ears
Well since you ask, I’d suggest a dictionary.
Hope that helps you out youngster and thanks for stopping in.
Best Regards
Don
I’m considering a Slinky tattoo…no matter how much I sag, it still looks like a Slinky.
🙂
Really enjoying your blog, Don!
(and suspect you are my dad in disguise.)
Love your user name mrssnell. Nice, respectful and tells you a story. Thanks for that alone.
Thanks to for the nice words. I assure you that I’m not your father (a sentence most young people will never be able to say with complete honesty thanks to their ferocious and indiscriminate fornication).
You remind me of my grampy.That’s a really big compliment.I stumbled on to your site and can’t stop laughing.A lot of the things you say relate to me(i.e. being tall,I’m 22,have a tattoo) but I think it is hilarious.Keep up the good work!!
Thank you Isreal. Hope to see you again.
Today I told my friend that we are quite lucky we are born into this century for when we get old (I’m 22) instead of looking through the windows as most of the old ladies do – having nothing else to do – we can play quake 15 killing monsters and in this way finding amusement. But as I see now there might be some better things to do. And well what you do is great. I really enjoyed reading your blog. By the way I wonder what do You think about Bukowski?
Well Hello Dovi.
You manage to cover a lot of groud in a few sentences don’t you?
Thanks for visiting. Never had a literary question before but I think Bukowski is dead. Post office was okay but I found that if you read one of his books, you didn’t need to read much more. They had a repetitive quality to them.
Now Garfield on the other hand, I could read those day in and out. Goddamned cat makes me laugh. A cat that eats lasaugna…that’s a real LOL cat.
lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol ROFL ROFL ROFL desu desu desu. Pwn the |-|4x0Rz
God damned young people and your “new math.” Back in my day a train left chicago at 12:15 travelling 40 miles per hour – none of this quadratic equation horse feathers…
hmmmm…I’m guessing the answer is 5. How’d I do young man?? Was I close?
Don
I don’t care much for old timers but not to the point that i have to blog about it like a young person would.
You know, it could be that I had a rye after dinner but I really am beginning to wonder.
This is either a beautifully constructed postmodernist poem or the worst attempt to form a sentence I’ve seen since working as an editor for the Nixon administration.
I’m going to go with a very poorly constructed sentence….. shows what education is doing for kids these days…..
Hello Don – that is my Dads name so of course I think all Don are old people. I hate young people but I also hate old people. You smell and you don’t care to pluck whiskers from your face. But I like your style and your as handsome as I…so congrats.
Jesus Walt…
What the hell was that? For a moment I thought I was in for a damned fine syllogism or maybe a bawdy limerick but it sort of collapsed halfway through.
Get some fresh air, lad.
I’d reply but I cant stop laughing…seriously, I’ll get back to you..LOL!! (I think I just peed my pants)
TOO funny… the part about wearing hats backwards made me spit iced tea on my computer, but it was completely worth it. I have a young person of my own, 13 years old, and we happened upon one of those lovely youth-of-today in the store recently. Hat on backwards, pants so low he could barely walk, bits of random metal through various parts of his anatomy. I told my son that if he ever for a moment entertained the thought of looking that ridiculous, he would be in military school so fast he wouldn’t have time to pack his toothbrush.
Bravo, Mr. Mills — can’t wait to read more! 🙂
Thanks for coming by Gina. Keep on that lad, it sounds like you’re doing a damned fine job.
Looking forward to hearing from you again.
p.s. Next time you’re in Disney, give my best to Mickey but tell him to put a shirt on for goodness sakes. It’s indecent.
Dear Mr. Mills,
Let me first say that it has been an honor to read your blog. Rarely do you find such a diamond that combines both humor and common sense. Bravo!
I was thinking of other things that I hate about my generation, and came up with a top 5 list.
1. Guys getting ear piercings
2. Side-ways flat-brimmed hats
3. “Bling Bling”
4. Ghetto-talk (fo shizzle!)
5. Baggy clothes
Basically all summed up in this picture:
A damned fine list William. That ghetto talk drives me nuts. Especially when it comes with all the half-assed hand gestures.
Appreciate your kind words and hope to see you again soon.
Don
The picture didn’t work in html, so here’s the link:
http://www.roflwigger.com/Original-Wigger.php
Oi Mr Ransom! Where did you get that picture of me?
I might sue…
…or even worse – Alice.
Cheers Don!
I haven’t laughed so hard in quite some time. I look forward to hearing more from you and as often as you will share with all of us out here. I’ll share your blog with my wife, family and my father too. What a great sense of humor you’ve got!
All the best,
Chris
Many thanks Chris. Appreciate your spreading the word. Please, don’t be a stranger.
All the best
Don
Love this blog. You’re my new hero, sir!
Thanks your Zirgar. You’re a fine lad.
I’m a youngster and I’m guilty of some of the things you rant about, but that doesn’t make it any less funny. Keep it up; comedy never ages.
Thanks Sean. Wise beyond your years I suspect.
Don, I guess you could consider me a young person, 13, and I’m not here to yell at you, criticize you, or give reasons for you to respect me that I cant back up. It might be true that Teens and children today are extremely corrupt and unexceptionably undisciplined, But, To be honest, Its not exactly our fault. In a way, (Chiefly) It is, But as a kid, I was exposed to a lot of Inhuman amounts of rudeness, and some would say blatant pornography, And it didn’t appeal to me. To others, it did. Resulting into what you see today in society. Most kids don’t conform to the ways today, then again, some do. And that’s the way its going to always be. And I think that you and I both know that fads are going to change, and kids such as me feel that the fads have to be followed no matter how ridiculous they may be, especially in teenagers. And not that I don’t love reading your blog, because i do. And unlike most of other teenagers that post on this blog, I’m reasonable and understanding. Anyways, I’m rambling, sorry, i would just like you to keep in mind that, some of us don’t have much choice. Think about it.
With respect,
Kc
I would like to add to your comment that it is our parents and grandparents that have created the society that we are growing up in.
David
Appreciate your point of view, KC. Have to say, though, 13 seems a little young to be out reading and commenting on blogs. Hope your parents know what you’re up to. Honestly.
And David, great to see you again lad. Still flogging your point I see. Keep at it boy, it works for me. Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. I was busy unraveling our social fabric and burying cans of lead paint in the backyard! You’re a good kid. Keep pluggin’ Junior.
Ahhhh!!!! Misused capitalIzation!
Mr. Mills,
First off; you are hilarious. You word things in a way I could only dream to. Although I do believe there is much to appreciate from young people, I am excited to hear what problems the elderly may have with us from your voice. Keep it up!
Thanks for the nice words Kyle. Damned nice of you.
More crabby old farts need to take a stand!
Great work on the site, it’s been less than a week and you’re becoming a hit on the internet. I wanted to go ahead and postthis now while you are still responding to everyone’s posts because it looks like you’re going to be getting a lot more traffic.
First I was curious if you could give us a little back story into your life. I honestly can’t tell if this is a character you’re playing or not, but whoever is writing these posts is a genius, and I would love to know more about your pre-crabby life. Have you written any other humor? Secondly, I love the fact that although you hate teenagers you have been more than friendly to everyone that has posted on here and tried to attack your stance. It’s an amazing balance you’re able to maintain.
Keep it up and you’re sure to be a hit amongst the kids.
Thanks MJHeel,
Don’t know about a “hit” but it’s been fun so far. These young people are a fiesty bunch. The comments on “Gigantic Teenagers” are some of the finest form of debate I’ve seen since Nixon/Kennedy went toe to toe.
Appreciate the questions on my “story” but us seniors have to be cautious. A lot of phishing scams and con men out there. So, hope you understand, but I prefer to keep my personals to myself (at least for the time being).
Sorry, don’t mean to be cryptic. I really am just a crabby old man.
Thanks too for the kind words. I hope to hear from you again.
All the best
Donald Mills
Mr. Mills,
As much as I enjoy your reply’s and comments on others posts. I think that such a fine writer as yourself shouldn’t be wasting their precious time on us anonymous posters, and more on things more worth while.
I do admire your dedication to your fans, and incredible wit detailed in ALL of your posts, but I think your cranial gold is being wasted. You could’ve filled a small novel with all the things you’ve said so far.
Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great that you reply to nearly every user’s post on here, but I’d hate to see such literary genius disappear in the annals of the internet.
With much respect,
WilliamRansom (ransom is my middle name)
Thanks William but, honestly, chatting with you folks has proven to be one of the highlights.
Many thanks for you kind words, William. You made an old man feel pretty damned good.
Don
Donny, keep up the good work you wrinkly bastard.
Wrinkly bastard? My dear Aggie used to call me that. But she was my wife and would rub my feet.
So, unless your prepared to get waist deep in bunyons, bcurletta,I’d prefer Don or Mr. Mills in future.
Thanks for the kind words you young bastard!
Don
Though I do believe that you’re a total fake, the points you make are very funny, and I’m pretty amazed by the fact that you’ve tsken the time to read and reply to almost every comment made on your about page. I happen to know a damn good caning would be in order if you’d transposed as many yours and you’res in your time, however, and that something like that would be ingrained in your memory.
Damn Dani you got me there. Thanks for making my day!
And there’s nothing fake about me dear. 100% Don Mills born and raised!
Just came across this blog. I can’t stop lauhing, it’s taking a little bit of the monotony of being deployed. I myself am young but back home I would rather sit in the VFW talking to people twice my age than lose my hearing at club. You might want to talk about loud music on your blog.
Could suggestion SGT.C. My thanks and a salute to you as well. Keep up the damned good work son.
Dear Mr. Mills,
I would just like to tell you that I love everything that you have written so far! I wonder if you are planning to write something about how the youth of today have absolutely NO manners? The thing that continues to surprise me is that it’s not just the youth, you meet a lot of people in their 20’s and 30’s who act like they don’t know what the definition of polite is! It’s been a pleasure reading your work.
Dear Mr Mills
Thank you for your blog. It’s amazing. I’m not sure if you are a real person or a comedy character but either way you are a great writer and I hope you keep it up.
Thanks Andy. Nice of you to take the time to write.
Don
I am much pleased.
I love to see our elders engaging with technology–especially computers, software, and the internet. I believe that learning to use such techonolgies is very much akin to learning language (insofar as there is a kind of “syntax” to master in communicating with any such device or program), and language learning definately becomes more difficult as one matures and ages. When I see older folks getting into the fray, as it were, on the internet, I am heartened to see this trend bucked.
Also, it is a triumph for human beings in general, not just elders, to prove to be the exception to such a rule. We can certainly all benefit from using the power of our intellect to overcome the many and varied limitations of our biolgoy.
Keep up the good work, Mr. Mills. You provide a worthy example to us all. The fact that you traffic in sweeping generalizations and curmudgeonly ill-tempered vitriol concerns me not at all.
I am much pleased back at you. Verily pleased damn it
Dear Mr. Mills,
I love your blog and think your posts are hilarious. I couldn’t agree more with you and I’m only 21! I moved to the city recently from a small town to go to university and couldn’t believe how disrespectful people are here, especially the younger kids.
My roommate and I have screamed at them on more than one occasion in our three years of living here – we figure it’s good to knock them down a notch or two once in a while with some good old fashioned verbal abuse. I just can’t wait to leave and get my blood pressure down to a normal level again.
Keep these posts coming, they are golden. Just remember though, there definitely are some damn good kids out there, it’s just the rest that are so rotten (what I’d really like to do is have a go at the useless parents who let their kids end up that way). Anyway, I could rant for hours but I think I’ll leave that to you. Good luck and good day sir! Take care.
Hi Don,
I love your blog. Keep up the good work!
Hugs!
Hey Don; thanks for writing your posts. I’m a young person but I enjoy reading your blog regularly. It really makes me smile if I’m down 🙂
I absolutely love your posts! My kids think they are hysterical too
Sorry but I’m getting a touch weary here. Can’t type the way I could back in the Nixon years.
Thanks Dan L, penguinpeople, Kris Michelle and goldenretrieverlover for your comments and kind words.
I hope you’ll all drop in again and take some time to visit with old Don.
With sincere thanks,
Donald Mills
I’m a young person. But no worries, i’m not your typical stereotype. I dislike a large population of my generation as well. This is a funny blog and anyone willing to harass this site under the protection of internet anonymity is silly and should keep their gripe to themselves. Its there own fault they came to the site in the first place. Its nice to see that some people can actually make a blog interesting. Thanks.
Many thanks Alex. The anonymous gripers are of no concern to me. I enjoy hearing their points of view and don’t mind the odd scrape.
Thanks for the nice words lad. All the best. Don
Keep it coming Don! These opinions of yours are a breath of fresh air. What so many people are unwilling to say. And hilarious to boot. Thanks again for sharing.
Cheer and thanks Chrisanderrin. I appreciate your stopping in and leaving me a comment.
Don
Well now, I’m not exactly sure if this is a good or bad thing considering but this blog makes me feel old. The reasoning is that I agree with everything you’ve said. I’m barely 30 and I feel like yelling at the young’ins to “Get off my lawn!”, and “Get a haircut and a job!!”. What’s worse is that less than 10 years ago I was a hard core punk. I’m talking piercings and tattoos that angered my mother to no end.
Now I work for one of the most respected publishing companies/news services in the world and can’t remember the last time I was out past 10, weekends included.
So I guess this is our revenge on the young. Sooner or later, most are likely to get some sense in their head and become responsible adults. Forcing them to realize the world not only doesn’t revolve around them and their “issues” but rather, if they fell off the world, would effect the rest of the planet very little or not at all.
HA!
Great comment Fuhaku,
Thanks for stopping in. Get off my lawn!”, and “Get a haircut and a job!!” are great old man standards, son, and I’m heartened to see that you’ve got them under your belt at such a tender age.
Now, just stop staying out so late. 10 o’clock? Oi!
Don
That blog went in the bookmarks I check on regularly. I’m curious to see how many of those you’ll find. That was real fun, I loved it.
And you’re right. Young people nowadays are real rude to dare grow up without authorization! Not to mention having opinions of their own, as if their elders opinions weren’t good enough for them. Some days they’ll pretend to have good new ideas! tsst!
I hope to read from you real soon, and thanks for the laugh.
Thank you Mia. Looking forward to hearing from you again.
Don
Dear Mr. Mills,
I realized I accidentally called you Ron earlier! How silly of me.
To be completely honest. I’m actually getting a bit teary-eyed right now. I am wishing that I knew you when you were younger, and that we sat down and had a few beers together or something.
I really think it’s a shame that so many of us “young-ins” don’t take the time out of their (oh-so-incredibly) busy lives to just look around, and appreciate the incredible wealth of wisdom housed with our elderly. So many AMAZING stories are lost and never heard again, and it is a criminal shame to not hear them.
I wish you many long years, and abundant health Don. Keep writing, and keep on sharing these gems.
Don I love what you’re doing here. I will keep reading.
Alan
Many thanks Alan.
What a great blog, Donald. Keep up the good work.
Thank you pgrasso. Hope to see you again.
All the best
Don
I’m 17 and just stumbled upon this blog, It’s amazing. I actually agree with lots of what you say (haircuts, tattoos, driving, etc.).
The only thing I dislike is the use of Jesus’ name – not because I’m a Christian, but because I’m not.
Regardless, you’re the man! Keep it up.
Thanks Gerard,
I’ll do my best to keep a lid on the Jesuses…(how do you pluralize Jesus anyway? Actually, forget I asked. It likey just opens a debate I’m not interested in having).
Anyway, thanks for stopping in and commenting young man.
Take care now
DOn
Just because you are not Christian, why should Jesus’ name offend? I am atheist but that doesn’t mean that I cringe at the sight of a name!
You’ve got a very interesting blog here, Mr. Mills. One thing to note is that your blog and my blog was both made in April 2009 and use the same theme, cheers! Check out mine when you got the time!
Quite a coincidence there lad. Thanks for stopping in.
Don,
WTF mate. I like how you respond to comments, never seen so many responses in my entire short-lived life kind sir.
I have some points of contention.
1) there is no way you are some old dude blogging, not happening, not possible, no way, no how
2) will you ever admit that you are in fact one of these young people blogging as an old man
3) if you are as old as you claim to be let’s get some proof, some more photos would be nice
4) what is rye exactly, I know you can drink whisky and rye, but what the F is rye
in any case, you have great blogs/comment responses, I thoroughly enjoyed everything I read, enough to post this BS
Good Afternoon Don…
I have just stumbled on to you page and I would like to than you so very much for all of your points of view – I wholeheartedly agree with many of them! I, myself and only 26 and find all of your posts to be very true of the younger and also my generation!!
I have added you as a favourite and will continue to come back time and time again and read your site.
Once again Don… Thank you very much. You have lightened an otherwise very miserable day today!!
Kirsty
x
Many thanks Kirsty,
Nice of you to visit and I hope to see you again soon.
All the best,
Don
As a tattooed, drug-taking, mumbling man in his mid-thirties – with a stupid haircut – congratulations on a more than slightly readable blog.
I shall be visiting it on at least a yearly basis, assuming I have nothing better to do.
Keep it up, Don.
Damned by faint praise! Thanks for dropping in Guernican. Hope to see you next year lad.
Don
Wow, you blog is amazing. It is funny as hell, and has great points. I guess you could say I was brought up the “old-fashion” way. Always taught to say ma’am and sir when addressing an elder, and told that respect is the number one thing in life. I like your style, and wish that more people my age (20) were more like they were back in the old days. A lot of the young people I meet sicken me, I know kids that curse at their parents, don’t do what they are told and have never worked a day in their life. If I had done any of those things I would not be here right now typing this, I would have been in some sort of tragic hunting accident or locked in the basement for a few years.
Anyway, I love the blog, keep it up, and keep preaching those old school morals and truths, thats what people need to hear these days.
Thanks for the encouraging words there, Tyler. I appreciate it. You sound like a damned reasonable young person to me.
DOn
Great blog. One of the funniest I’ve seen, surely.
Nice to see that instead of complaining about how confusing technology is, some old people are using it for what it was intended to do: complain about everything else.
Thanks Joe. Nice to meet you lad. Drop in anytime.
I like a man with a one syllable first name.
Don
God bless you sir and your superb sense of humour.
You’re very kind Eliza. Many thanks
Don
Your blog reminds me of my grandfather reminiscing the good ole’ days. He would talk about a loaf of bread being a nickle, a quart of milk being a nickle, and a pay phone call being a nickle. He said times were tough because his paycheck was a nickle.
Sounds like a wise man, your old granddad. And looks like he had a damned decent job too. My granddad could only dream of earning a nickle.
Thanks for stopping in.
Don
God Damned old people always hating on the young people. Ha ha ha this is pretty funny (the beginning of this is not serious)
Thanks for stopping in Mata.
All the best, Don
You all should care you think that the reason we get ASBOs is because of us but maybe it’s because you don’t care about us!
I have no idea what that means Sophie. Can anyone help me out and tell me what the Hell an ASBO is? I know ALPO and EGGO but this one is a mystery.
Anti Social Behavour Order …
You get one of these free when you buy a hooded top, get a stoffordshire bull terrier and a can of cider – All of these can be used together in order to cause fear in your local neighbourhood… The goverment thought it up in order to dissuade these little people from their terror reign – However, it is worn as a badge of honour in mnay places!
A healf hearted attempt to keep these hoodlems in order!
Hope that help and sorry for the rant!
Kirsty
x
I love it! Thanks Kirsty for helping an old man out.
Don
Hello Don,
Like many of the younger generation that is completely fed up with how our peers behave, I love your blog. I am tired of “prostatots” ( very young and promiscuous girls), young people disrepecting authority figures, and children controlling their parents. I am sickened by “sexting,” young men and women flaunting their underwear in public places, and what general ignorance and abbreviated internet messaging has done to the English language. Keep up the great work, sir!
Patricia
Thanks Patricia,
I learned some new words there and have to say that I’m scared, damned scared. “Prostatots?” It’s a sad state of affairs indeed.
Thanks for visiting.
Don
I like your blog very much, Sir. Thank you for taking the time to write.
My pleasure Amy. Thanks for visiting and for the kind words.
Don
Hey Don. I love your blog and was wondering if I could add you to my blogroll. This would make going to your site quick and easy, “Just like a typical young person, looking for the quick and easy way.” Anyways you can visit my blog at http://www.soupalaxy.wordpress.com. Thank you for your time.
Nice of you to visit Eric and thanks for asking about the blogroll.
Please, feel free to add my site. And accept my thanks for doing so son. I’ll be sure to pay you visit as well.
All the best.
Don
I’m a teacher and mad as hell that kids live such a permissive lifestyle today. The resulting behaviour is often difficult to work with. When I was a kid I had a healthy fear of my teacher getting pissed off and subsequently listened to every word they said. By the way, I think you’re sitting in my grandfathers chair! Great Blog!
I’m with you on that Mad as Hell.
I was terrified of my teachers and respected them too. And we paid attention, damn it, or else we got strapped and sent home for worse.
Thanks for the kind words and good on you for choosing teaching as a career. Damned important work in my estimation.
Don
Hi Don, technogran here from the UK. Brilliant blog! I tend to moan these days not only about the young, but about everything! Litter, recycling,traffic,pedestrians, you name it I am moaning about it.
Don’t like keep saying, ‘it wasn’t like this in our day!’ but sometimes (as I am sure you are aware) progress ain’t always for the best! Keep blogging Don, brilliant blog
It’s not moaning, technogran, it’s “educating” and I’d encourage you to continue.
Welcome and thanks for stopping in. Always good to hear from a “gran.”
All the best,
Don
Don,
Tripped across your website from the Fugly Horse of the Day site…you were listed as a reader’s favorite site….I too have added you to my favorites. I need a good chuckle being here in Qatar and I love your commentary on this current generation. I’m going to send this to my sisters, brother, and friends!
Many thanks Mary K.
Fugly Horse of the Day? I admit I’m not as handsome as I once was but “fugly horse?” That stings a little.
Regardless, I appreciate your kind words and you sharing the site with your family and friends.
Best Regards
Don
Dear Mr. Mills,
I am another reader of the FHOTD blog. Nobody called you a fugly horse. FHOTD is a blog about horses. The blog writer just had an off topic day and mentioned a few of her favorite non-horse related blogs. Yours was one of them and I can see why and have you in my favorites now.
Thank you for a wonderful snarky blog!
Chris
Many thanks for clearing that up for me Chris.
I’ve been called some sharp names in my day (fugly horse is pretty tame actually) and just wasn’t entirely sure.
Appreciate your kind words and your visit. Hope to hear from you again, please leave a commet any time you like.
All the best
Don
I’ll ask that Bill Halley chap if he can spare one of his commets if you need one.
He’s rockin’ around the clock at the moment, but it’s bound to need winding up sometime – I’ll ask him then.
More hurry, less speed as my dear old mother used to say. You sure know a lot of people there, Nobbly. Shakespeare, Bill Haley, that Oppenheimer fella.
Nice to know a lad with connections.
They’re all good lads.
Oppenheimer can be a bit of a slacker when it comes to buying the beer, but Billy S calls him “thou atom splitting shyster!”, and he scuttles off to the bar eventually.
Don,
Thank you for your insightfulness on young ppl. you are right on..i personally think its all because the parents are not there for their kids anymore.. they each work 1,2 jobs each… just trying to keep up with the bills, and also because we have made things to keep the kids entertained while the parents work. kids get bored quick. so its on to new troublesome adventures with other kids and drugs and robbing..and whatever else..meanwhile the parents dont have a clue what their kids are REALLY doing. its a very sad vicious cycle..but its not all the kids fault. Back in your day.. someone was home for them after school. not now..ask a normal household when was the last time they all sat down and ate and talked and played board games together as a family, the kids feel left out, not cared about, no wonder they have turn out this way . I was very fortunate to have an at home mom,that made cookies , and home made pizza, and hot coco, and read stories to me before bed, and listened to what i had to say, and blister me when i needed it. not now..you so much as think of disiplining and you are in jail, for abuse. but i do see your point… and wish things were that way again, to an extent..but i do love your blog.. keep up the great work !! and thank you for sharing..!! sincerely Patty L.
I’m so goddamned angry, I don’t know what to say! So I linked to your blog and will read it regularly.
Appreciated, Bill. I’ll be visiting you as well.
Don
Just like to say that you’re a misanthropic, self-opinionated, politically incorrect, old curmudgeon. I reckon you’re the best thing since two day old un-sliced bread and there should be more of it. If you were an Aussie, I’d recommend you to be nominated as a ‘National Treasure’, lucky you’re not I guess.
Keep up the good work, I’ll try to follow your entertaining rants. I laughed so much over your ‘Urinating Teenagers’ post that I came close to peeing my pants. Weak bladders are not solely confined to teenagers.
Keith
Thanks Keith, I appreciate your dropping in and leaving a comment.
Getting to be a curdmudgeon is one of the few benefits of old age. I highly recommend it.
Many thanks for the kind words.
Don
Hiya Don – I am 39yrs old and totally get where your coming from..I love your view on these youngs ones ( please don’t tell me i’m in that category!).
Hi Louise,
Safe to say your not on the “young ones” anymore (though you’re still dangerously close).
All the best
Don
Don, you’re what I plan to be in 40 years. Thank you for the inspiration!
Geoff
Thanks Geoff,
Nice to see you lad. And good to see a young person planning ahead.
Don
Hello Don,
I don’t know which is more amusing…your blog, or some of the reactions here in the “About Me” page. A few of the “younger” reactions have me wondering about while they’re blithering about *irony*, can they define *satire*?! Good googly moogly, even my “weirdo haircut” son read your blog and thought you were hilarious (and a terrific writer)! I’d give my eye teeth for a grandparent with a sense of proper humor – though I am grateful for an uncle who likes to give everyone a hard time, just for the sake of pushing that button…and (mostly) we’re all glad of his presence in our lives. How many, I wonder, are so narcissistic that they fail to see where you’re poking fun at multiple generations?! Hmmmm.
😉 Happy day to you, kind sir.
Hi Denise,
Nice to hear from you again. I have to admit I was a little surprised by the reactions of some of the younger folks. Seems they were having some comprehension problems. Still, truth be told, it made for some damned entertaining reading.
All the best and thanks for the comment. Pass on my regards to your son as well. He sounds like a fine lad.
Don
I read some of your posts and i found them to be HILARIOUS and oh so true! These god damn teenagers now a days! haha
Hey you old fart. Do twitter or twatter or whatever the hell it is ?
Max 71
Thanks for the comment Max 71.
Is the “71” your age by any chance? If so, a special welcome. If not, go to Hell.
Just joking of course. You can go to Hell regardless.
Actually Max 71, it’s nice of you to comment and I appreciate the question.
I don’t know much about that twitter nonsense and don’t expect I’ll be rushing to find out. It took me long enough to figure out how to work this blog. By the time I figured out Twitter, I expect my one and only tweet would be something like “I R Dead!:(”
All the best,
Don
Came across your blog today via Nag on the Lake.
Hilarious. Keep up the good work. 🙂
Seriously, you couldn’t pay me enough to be young again. Well, maybe 35…
Many thanks azahar. I appreciate the kind words.
And I agree with you. No way you could convince me to go back either (not even to 35!). Too damn much has changed for me.
All best Best,
Don
Don, I had no idea you were such a Hunk (with a capital H).
Many thanks The Nag,
I’m no Allen Ludden but I had my share of success with the ladies back in my time.
And many, many thanks for the link. Greatly appreciated.
All the best.
Don
I just wish these damn kids would get off my lawn!
You and me both.
(Good choice of name by the way. I toyed with “silver fox” myself but never could quite pull that off).
All the best.
Don
“The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for
authority, they show disrespect to their elders…. They no longer
rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents,
chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their
legs, and are tyrants over their teachers.”
– Plato, quoting Socrates, almost 2400 years ago
“I believe what really happens in history is this: the old man is
always wrong; and the young people are always wrong about what is
wrong with him. The practical form it takes is this: that, while the
old man may stand by some stupid custom, the young man always attacks
it with some theory that turns out to be equally stupid.”
– G. K. Chesterton
You have deep roots in history. Keep up the good (and hilarious) work, Don.
Many thanks Freddie,
An excellent comment. I enjoyed that a great deal.
Thanks again
Don
Here’s a lead for a future post:
http://www.firegeezer.com/2009/05/24/high-angle-rescue-in-china/
Back in my day, if you threatened to jump off a bridge, your father would climb up there and push you off himself.
Thanks Matt for the comment and the link.
Hope to see you again.
Don
Hi Mr Mills, I would just like to say that I couldn’t agree with you more. But I do have a bone to pick, what is it with older people being so rude while their driving? It really gets my goat when I see an older person behind the wheel of a car going 10 below the speed limit while their left blinker has been going for the past 5 blocks. Are you going to turn or not?
Regardless of your generations questionable driving habits, I think you’re a fine man and I respect you.
All the best.
Hi there Alexi,
Thanks for the comment. For me, I don’t like to get the old Buick up past 25 mph. Anything else is hard on the engine and just showing off. Plus, what the Hell’s the big rush? And as for indicating, I leave my left lane indicator on all the time – just to let people know I’m considering turning at some point in the future. COuld be now, could be later, could be tomorrow, but It’s a possibility and you’d best be prepared for when I do.
Many thanks for visiting with me.
All the best to you as well.
Don
if only those dingbats down at GM would realize the brilliance behind your driving methods. i long for the days when both signals may be on simultaneously.
Hello Don, I can really appreciate your blog. These young people need to be taught a lesson. I think the world needs more men like you and your father. it sounds like your father was a hell of a man and i dont doubt we wouldnt be having these problems if he were still around. God bless his soul.
Keep fighting the good fight Don.
Many thanks MrRapson,
My old dad was a good man. I miss him.
Thanks
Don
My son (he is 12) and I love it , love it. Keep writing ,we will keep reading .Thank you very, very mach.
Thanks Begzada,
Appreciate the kind words. You might want to scan the comments before your son reads though. Some of the young people tend to get a little angry and have been known to make some off color remarks.
Don
Wonderful blog, Mr. Don. I read it all in less than an hour and quickly forwarded the link to it to all my indolent under 30 friends who, judging by the replies, are enjoying it as much as I am. I can’t wait to go home and read it to my mum (English’s not our first language, so I’ll have to translate it to her) – I know she’ll just LOVE it. Cannot wait to read more, much more!
You’re very Kind Vanda and I appreciate the nice comment.
Hope to hear from you again. You’ll have to let me know what your mum thought.
Best
Don
As a Mom of 19 and 17 year old girls, I totally appreciate your take on the world and am grateful that you’ve been able to show the way to mingle my disgust with a sense of humour. Thank you for sharing your unique, and true, views of the way young people conduct themselves today!
That’s very kind of you bonniezink.
Appreciate your visiting with me and leaving a comment.
All the best and good luck with your girls.
Don
🙂
http://www.Ihateyoungpeople.com
I’ll be over to see this shortly. Looks promising.
Thanks for sharing the link IHYP.
Don
I agree totally. Damned kids, always playing ball on my lawn.
Well, gotta’ go take some metamucil and psilocybin.
Steve
Thanks Steve,
I enjoy the metamucil too. Damned good stuff. Not sure of the other but ibuprofen is good for pain relief.
All the best,
Don
you’re and ass
Hi there Sammy-boy,
I read your comment a few times and struggled with it and then remembered…that’s William Carlos Williams right?
you’re and ass
upon
a red wheel
barrow
glazed with rain
water
beside the white
chickens.
Thanks for upping the literary ante Sam-I-am (another classic but I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that).
I hope to hear from you again lad. I like you. You’re spunky and a man of few words.
All the best son,
Don
It seems the only thing I disagree with you about is your dislike of rock music. But to each his own.
Thanks for the comment Matt. Glad we are able to agree on most issues.
All the best,
Don
Is this a joke or not?
Thanks Ummmm,
I’m a lighthearted man. Jovial and friendly. I enjoy a good “Garfield” strip, a “knock knock” joke and the odd “I Love Lucy” rerun but this is no damned joke. Young people are trouble.
Thanks for visiting.
Don
suck meeeeee
Thanks for visiting John.
Your comment worries me son.
I’m not sure why I jump to this conclusion but I suspect you’re a young person and I’m concerned about you boy. “Suck meeeee” is a strange request of an old man and I wonder if it really is just a cry for some kind of attention or help?
Troubles at home, son? Can’t get past the next level in your video game and feeling tense and frustrated? Anxious about your upcoming math quiz and the fuzzy moustache you’re trying to grow in time for prom?
If you’re open to advice, I’d suggest you go have a heart to heart with your parents or local clergy. Your issues may be more complicated than an old man can help you with. There may be gender questions, anger issues or any number of problems that can only be fixed with the support of your family, church and a healthy amount of corporal punishment.
Good luck, Johnny.
All the best,
Don
I’m 18 and therefore a young person. That said, I love your thoughts on we rather annoying young ‘ins. As a young man hoping to enter the Christian ministry, it’s always interesting to read what the older generation think of the young bloods…even if it starts with God damned each time.
P.S. Is the picture really you?
Many thanks for the comment Douglas and good luck with your studies. I wish you well, lad, I really do.
You seem like a fine young man
Don
P.S. I’m thinking of taking it off the site. Privacy is important to me and I got a weird look at the Winn Dixie yesterday from some frightening looking teenaged tough.
Sir,
You remind me so much of my grandfather! Lord I miss him, he was a good man.
Thanks for your posts, you are hysterical!
Kim
Thank you Kim in Alaska,
I appreciate that. I really do.
Don
I would love to see some of those piercings once the elasticity in these “holy” people gives out. I’ve seen some sad tattoos that seem to have been painted in watercolors but tipped just a bit before the canvas was dried.
Thanks Becky. It will be a frightening sight and that’s for damned sure.
Appreciate your stopping by.
Don
Dear Don,
Me and my mom, Im 15 and shes is..a motherly age, both really love this. We laughed so hard! Your humor is great and we both agree on what you have to say about them darned teenagers, though I am a teenager myself. I have to say you are a very great older gentleman and we will both come read whenever we remember to.
Thanks,
C&G
Many thanks C&G – Nice to see a young person and their parent spending time together.
Please drop by any time and say hello.
All the best,
Don
My friends on Ravelry (knit and crochet site) think you may be just the man for me. I am something of a curmudgeon also, but with a little (very little) more tolerance, simply because I drink. I am on medication to keep me from killing people, but am a really nice person. So, if you’re single, (or not) write and tell me more about yourself. By the way, I’m almost 62 and have a tattoo on my butt. Hope this doesn’t dissuade you from writing.
My Goodness, MorningMedusa, that’s quite the comment.
My personal support worker, Hattie, told me that I should avoid any woman claiming to be on medication to stop her from killing people…but I think she just wants me to stay single so that she’ll have a better chance of being mentioned in my will.
What can I say? I’m flattered by the offer but my heart will always belong to my dear departed Aggie. There will never be another woman for me.
All the best and nice to hear from you.
Don
How refreshing….a gentleman who doesn’t give a rat’s behind about political correctness and says what he thinks! 2 thumbs up, Don!
Many thanks Trailerparkbarbie, many thanks.
Don
Hi,
A reader has submitted your blog to mine, asking for a blog review. I am tempted to do it so please do read it: http://blogsreviews.wordpress.com/2009/05/31/the-problem-with-young-people-today-is/. Thanks a lot.
Thanks for the kind review Arrica and the suggestions for improvement. (They sound kind of technical though, so I suspect I’ll just leave things they way they are.)
All the best and thanks again.
Don
Just to let you know you’re now inter-continentally appreciated, in non-english speaking countries even. Greetings from Croatia!
Many thanks Dodo Phe.
Croatia?! That’s wonderful. Never been anywhere near that part of the world.
Thanks for stopping in and leaving me a note.
Good to hear from you.
Don
After becoming shell-shocked from raising six children, and now a college aged grandchild, I had long forgotten the feeling of laughing until I cried. Thank you for resurrecting that ability with your sensible but hilarious blog.
Thanks for the comment Cheryl.
I appreciate the kind words very much. And good on you for raising 6 kids (and a grandchild). I think “shell-shocked” is a very apt term for anyone who has gone through that amount of parenting in this day and age.
All the best. Hope to hear from you again.
Don
I’m pretty sure that you and Morning Medusa should at least keep in touch. She’s a crusty broad like none other and you are an amazingly interesting crankybutt. The two of you can feed off of each other’s discriminating attitudes.
Just ask her about the time she got her finger stuck in a wine jug handle to get the ball rolling, but don’t ask about her hoo-haw story – that’s one best left for another day.
just sayin’
Thanks very much Iamtheinfidel.
A quick question. You ladies came over from a knitting site but you have names like “infidel” and “medusa.” Just what the heck is going on over there?
Anyway, I’d love to keep in touch? Morning Medusa sounds like a real pip. And it’s always a pleasure to hear from any of the ladies from the Ravelry.
It’s just that I’ll always remain faithful to my dear Aggie.
All the best,
Don
come join us! we enjoy zombies, cake, hawt secks and cakewaffles and bewbs!
http://www.ravelry.com/groups/completely-pointless-and-arbitrary-group
Just wish our society viewed the world like you… It would make it a hell of a better place. Keep telling it like it is! Those liberals need it!
Thanks Linda,
Always nice to hear from a sensible young person.
And, honestly, I don’t care if they are liberal, republican or something in between. I’m fed up with young people of all stripes.
Best regards,
Don
Mr. Don Mills:
You’re not just whistling “Dixie” about these young people nowadays. It seems like every day they come up with newfangled ways to get my dander up, and I say it’s high time we put a stop to it. I think I’ll go and write a letter to the editor. That’ll show ’em a thing or two.
PeanutsEnvy
Write on, PeanutsEnvy.
Nothing better than a nasty letter!
All the best
Don
YOU DAMN KIDS THESE DAYS AND YOUR BLU-RAY DISCS AND YOUR PLAYSTATION 3S AND YOUR TERRABYTE HARD DRIVES AND YOUR WIKIPEDIA AND YOUR CAPS LOCK BUTTONS AND YOUR INTERACTIVE NOVELS AND YOUR DIGITAL WATCHES AND YOUR SPACE SHUTTLES AND YOUR CALCULUS AND YOUR WAR IN IRAQ! AND THE CELL PHONES! OOOOHHH, THE CELL PHONES! BACK IN MY DAY, WE DIDN’T HAVE CELL PHONES; WE HAD ROCKS! WHEN YOU WANTED TO TALK TO SOMEONE, YOU’D THROW A ROCK AT THEM! THEN, THEY WOULD GO AROUND ASKING WHO THREW THE ROCK AT THEM AND WHEN THEY GOT TO YOU, YOU COULD TELL THEM WHAT YOU WANTED TO SAY! Of course, be then you would probably have forgotten what you wanted to say anyway… BUT THAT’S THE WAY WE LIKED IT!
Go easy now, Saladfork, or you’ll do yourself an injury.
Deep breaths, lad, deep breaths.
It’s easy to get worked up and your damned right on all counts (though I can’t say I ever recall using rocks as a form of telecommunication – but that’s a small point).
Nice to hear from you.
Don
you and I related?
I am Mr. BadMood
Unlikely, Mr. BadMood, but you never can tell.
I don’t have much family left to speak of and none that I actually speak too. A couple of distant relatives back in Scotland but I’ve never met them. Beyond that, I’m pretty much on my own.
Thanks for stopping in
Don
Donald Mills for president. Has a nice ring to it. Whatdya say you get into politics. America could use a no nonesense dude such as yourself to whip this country into shape.
Bring it.
Thanks Tricia,
I appreciate the sentiment but I’ve been around enough politics, politicians and bureaucrats to last me a life time. I couldn’t get far enough away once I retired.
For now, I’m happy to spend my days reading the paper, watching my shows and having the occasional rye and gingerale now and again
Well grandpa I’ve read the entire blog and I must say that I love your writing style. You remind me of Clint Eastwood. Keep up the good work !
Your back in my will, Leetgamer.
But watch your step. I’m damned fickle.
Don
With a mention in The Guardian Guide expect a tornado of comments. You’re a delightful old curmudgeon; Mencken would approve.
here’s the link
http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2009/jun/06/internet
well done Mr Mills !!!
Dear Mr Mills,
I apologise for the two extra exclamation marks
Lily Fossil
Many thanks Lily. And thanks as well Bee for letting me know.
Dear Senior Citizen, (or to be not politically correct, old guy, geezer, useless thing)
I am a young person. Recently I have turned 16. I have to admit, I disagree with almost everything you say. You say these things because you have such a prejudiced, biased view on todays society. Some things I’ll agree with you on, for example the short cuts for texting and typing. People actually write like that in my school on essays. Its very disappointing to see that in todays youth. I know my opinion doesnt matter that much, but I think your opinion on young people is too broad and stubborn. I dont know how old you are, but you were 16 once. I’ve argued the same point with my father, you were there to, you’ve done some of the same dumb things I have. Your hate for young people is misplaced, and I think you need to take some prozac and get off the tack you’ve been sitting on.
Thanks Samuel,
I’ll need prozac if I have to read too many more comments like yours. It’s nothing personal, son, but I find you young people tend to write in a very rambling, free-association sort of style that just wears me down and leaves me confused.
Sums up like this I think:
You don’t agree with me. Except on some things. But not on most. Some stuff about your dad I didn’t quite get. I was young once. You are young. I’ve done stuff. You’re doing stuff. I need drugs and a tack-assectomy.
Something like that, right?
Still, I appreciate the effort.
All the best
Don
Dear Mr Mills,
While I live and breathe, I don’t understand young people.
It seems to me that these days ,in order for them to be regarded as “normal” they need to be diagnosed with a “disorder”, preferably a combination of several disorders, just to get through Kindergarten.
By the time they get to High School to be considered “normal” they need to have tattoos and body piercings and stay up all night playing video games and “messaging” incessantly with their online friends in chat rooms and the like.
In my day, the only “messaging” we used was for the milkman to leave an extra bottle of milk.
Young people are gormless zombies and it makes my blood boil.
Lily Fossil
Hmm. In order for children in KINDERGARTEN to feel normal they need to be diagnosed with a ‘disorder’. I’m thinking your comments should be directed to the ‘parents’. I’m just saying the kids might be a bit young to ‘need to be diagnosed’. Just a thought.
Sadly, I lost my beloved grandpa nine years ago. You’re my *new* favorite curmudgeon.
Hi Heather,
Sorry to hear about your grandpa. That’s a terrible shame, it really is.
Thanks for the kind words. Hope to hear from you soon.
All the best
Don
Don, you’re great.
That’s all.
Entertaining, interesting, and damned sensible.
Great.
Thanks Rick.
Appreciate your stopping in and commenting on the posts too.
Good to see you lad.
Don
This blog is God Damned Brilliant!
Many thanks Kevin.
Hope to hear from you again lad.
Don
Hello Don.
I like the cut of your jib. I also like your chair. Is it a Mondrian?
Perhaps in the fullness of time we can become friends. I am 98 years old.
Mike
Nice to meet you Mike!
Thanks for kind remarks about my jib. Appreciate that Mike. And I’m all for making new friends provided they’re decent folk of a decent age and you sound like you fit both catagories.
As for the chair, I’ve never heard of Mondrian? Is that like Lazy boy?
All the best
Don
Mr. Mills,
You’re not answering the comments anymore. I hope you didn’t pass away. Well, I’m 43 now and I had a lot of fun reading your stuff. Sorry for my poor English, but I speak portuguese and live in Brazil.
You’re a very funny man, Mr. Mills!
A big hug for you!!
I’m not dead Ivan but thanks for the concern.
Been busy lad. Especially lately. Been shopping for slacks and having a Hell of a time finding a good fit at a reasonable price. That’s eaten up the better part of June to be honest.
Plus, for an older man I have a pretty full schedule. Between bridge club, the seniors centre, grocery shopping and writing down things I hate about young people I don’t have a lot of extra time on my hands.
I’ll get back to these comments though. If people are good enough to leave them, the least I can do is reply.
All the best
Don
(And a suggestion, lad. If you ever again have a suspicion that I may be dead or seriously hurt – don’t send me an email – call 911!)
Mr. Mills, I think 911 wont take international calls, will they?
Good point Ivan…
I like you lad. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders. Just call the U.S. Marine Corps. They must have a 1-800 number.
And I meant to say, your English is fine. A hell of a lot better than my Portugeuse.
Com agradecimentos de um amigo idoso, novo
Considering the language matterI thought it wouldnt be of any wisdom to invite you to read my blog, but after your “agradecimentos” I might reconsider… hehe
I do like you too, Mr. Mills! As we say in Portuguese: Você arrebenta a boca do balão! (You break the balloon’s mouth), whatever it means!
Tks, my new friend!
Hi Don, Damn reality is starting to sink in, found myself agreeing with you, well at least in some areas. But hell at age 50 I still find myself with the music cranked up so loud you can’t hear yourself think and if I’m not busy between work and all the other things that go on in a day, you talk about sleep. I’m one of those that can sleep 12 hours or so with no problem and love it!! Hey Don did you walk 10 miles in the snow with no shoes to school like my Mom did down here in Florida? Boy they had it rough and you know what’s funny I believed her. If I didn’t eat all my dinner she would tell me about all the starving kids in Ethophia. Well keep up the good work I’ll be following you Karen
Many thanks Karen,
And you were right to believe your old mom. She was telling you the truth and providing you a valuable life lesson at the same time.
Thanks for stopping in and pass on my best to your mother.
Regards
Don
Happy Father’s Day to you Mr. Mills. I’m sure anything your children or grandchildren try to do to honor you will be half-assed and insufficient. I can’t wait to hear all about it. “Listening” to your stories- well, it’s like my dear ol Grandma Johnnie were still with me in person.
Thanks for the Father’s Day Greeting, David. Nice of you to wish me well.
And I’m delighted that my stories remind you on your dear old Grandma. I’m guessing she was a fine woman and sorry that she’s no longer with us.
All the best
Don
Donnie,
I call you that because I truly feel your are my contemporary. I don’t like the goddamned teens either; them and their nonsense language and tattoos and that gall durn devil music they worship. Thawt Marilyn Manson, too. How they could revere a man who had that pretty Sharon Tate killed is beyond me. They’re sick….SICK, I tell ya!!!
And whatever happened to teh acne? When I was young, 15 kids out of my class of 35 always had cheeks that looked like the back of a Nestle’s Crunch Bar. Them kids these days, don’t seem to have the acne like our Vesuvian like zits of yesteryear.
Anyhoo, you came to my blog earlier and made a very arcane reference to a one, Morey Amsterdam and an old Borscht Belt joke that I recently included on my blog. http://misomanythings.wordpress.com. Ten bonus points for mentioning a name very few people remember, much less ever heard of.
Well, to hell with the rest; I liked it and I’m your newest fan. Let me be the Rose to your Marie, the Mel to your Cooley, the Millie to your Helper.
May I blog roll you? I swear it won’t hurt….much.
Regards with Geratol and trusses,
LK
Thanks Laurie,
I haven’t been called “Donnie” since I was in short pants. It sure takes me back.
Hope my reference wasn’t too arcane. That Morey Amsterdam always cracked me up. Same with Rose Marie. A damned funny show and a real shame that no one seems interested in producing decent television programs any more.
Anyway, I appreciate your stopping by. And good luck with your blog, I’m quite confident it will be a tremendous success.
All the best and see you soon.
Don
I love you donald.
But Lynn…
What about me?
Well that’s very kind Lynn. I appreciate it. Haven’t heard that particular phrase in a Hell of a long time.
Nice of you to stop in and pay me a visit.
All best,
Donald Mills
I LOVE THIS BLOG! The world can always use another witty curmudgeon.
Many thanks Skip Dekades.
I appreciate the compliment. Hope to hear from you again.
All the best,
Don
Hey there, I just wanted to say that this was one of the funniest things I’ve seen all day. I’m definitely a young person, and I found all of this hysterical and, really, quite true. My generation is a little ridiculous. Of course, all generations were probably at least a little ridiculous.
Thanks for the laughs!
Many thanks to you as well, Michelle.
I appreciate your stopping in to visit with me. And, yes, I suspect that all generations were a little ridiculous. It just seems that this one is an overachiever in that area.
All the best.
Don
Hi, Donald.
You write really funny!
M.
P.S. When do we get to read about that 1972 business trip to Dayton?
Many thanks Marstead.
That trip to Dayton was one Hell of a wild ride, son. Maybe I will get around to telling that tale one day. I suspect, however, that it is the type of story best told over a glass of whiskey, not on a blog.
I’ll have to think that one over.
Nice to hear from you.
Don
I love your blog and I’ve added you to my blogroll. I’ve even written post about you http://tinyurl.com/mljptz. Keep up the good work Don!
Many thanks Blackliberal,
I appreciate the article and the link. I’ll be sure to keep in touch and hope you’ll do the same.
Don
Hey. Just found your website, and I think it’s great! I am only 23, but so much of what you say is right. Don’t agree with it all, but hey, even those are humorus! I just wanted to mention that I thought it was kind of funny reading that young kid at the top accuse your generation of killing our planet, when he probably has at least one car, a cell phone, and a billion other plastic things that are never going to bio-degrade, as well as being more than happy to use electricity and running water, etcetera. In fact, I bet he wouldn’t give those up if he was paid to. Have fun!
Thank you Karen,
Have fun yourself (but decently and within limits).
And, yes, young Mr. Woodford was a welcome guest. He popped up a couple of times and then vanished. Likely joined the Peace Corps and is digging well in a third world country. Or, could be his parents bought him a playstation and he’s busy.
And there is no doubt in my mind that your assumptions about him are absolutely correct.
Nice to chat with you.
All the best
Don
Don, I might not know what the hell you might be griping about, but I have to say that after reading what you have posted has sure made the gout a bit more bearable for the past hour! You know anything about getting rid of the boils on my ass? Sir, I really like you! Hope to hear more of your drivel to past the small amount of time I have left on the mountain!
Thanks Marioshideout,
I had some trouble understanding your comment, son, but I understand you’re “mountain folk” and I know they can be a little “different.”
I can’t help you with the boils on your behind but am interested in why in Hell you thought it was a possibility?
Anyway, sorry if you’re under the weather. I hope things pick up soon and appreciate your stopping in.
Best Regards,
Don
Brilliant blog. Am a young(ish) person, and I agree with what you have written here, and its damned hilarious!!! Keep writing, cause I am going to keep reading 🙂
That’s damned kind of you Armeen.
I hope to hear from you again. You sounds like a reasonable young(ish) person.(But if you do, please avoud those damned smileys. The scare the Hell out of me.)
Dear Mr. Mills,
I arrived at your lovely site today via “Primordial Slack.” Your posts are very witty and definitely entertaining. I look forward to reading what you write next! Have a wonderful day!
Many thanks Kelly (I’ve always been partial to that name).
I hope you have a wonderful day as well.
All the best,
Don
I found this video of this 13 year old kid freaking out over a cancellation of his computer game account.
Watch!
You should keep on writing your blogs because they are very entertaining and very thought provoking.
My God, Austin, that was terrifying.
What a kid!
Thanks for the link and your comment. I hope to keep the blog going for a good while.
Hope to see you back.
Don
Hi Don or Mr. Donald Mills (whichever you prefer)
I really enjoy reading your blog. Honest, witty, straightforward and very current.
Looking forward to more readings!
Hi Reenu,
Don is fine but thank you very much for asking. I apprecaite the good manners.
Thanks for the kind words and please feel free to leave a comment any time (except if it is like the next one down – I can do without that)
All the best
Don
Soul in Hopelessness
“…Become capable and determined, through the intensity; and great advantage of our own inner strength, it will being ease to our own measurement of hopelessness” –Diane M. Bazail
Ominous shades of grey will never permeate over vibrant blue. What does that mean exactly?
“Don’t allow your tears of anguish fall, on the earthly tent referred to as your soul; which can cause revolting pain. For sorrow lurks, and is dark everyone, unhappiness is perilous, causing a depressive demise. Do remember… If you decide to steer left because you’re tiresome, withering barks will be found in your own casted moment of leafless, heavy burdened branches, becoming listless with gloom; as it sways in the stale wind, wanting only but sorrow, consumed within its embrace, by grieving mournful hours of a broken heart.”
“…Who needs these dejected thoughts? Look around you, life is inviting, no need to sting at the lips of misery. –Diane M. Bazail
Jesus Christ,
I have no idea what that was all in aid of but I appreciate your stopping in.
No offence, Diane, but I find Russian easier to read and I’ve never learned a word of the language. “your own casted moment of leafless, heavy burdened branches..”????
The Rosetta Stone was easier to interpret. And lighter. At least it had a couple of jokes.
Sorry if I’m stinging at the lips of misery but, My God, that’s the strangest comment I’ve ever seen.
Don
Sounds like Ms Diane has been eating some of those funny mushrooms.
Oh, Ms. Diane that was … remarkable. You have such a way with words. Your poetic style is genius. Does it rub iff? If so, please visit my blog and drape it with your earthly tent, sting it with your lips of blessedness. http://dfmil09.wordpress.com
I will await in stale wind until your visit.
Blessings,
tricia
helo sir,
for the first time i visited the site,i m a young girl and after reading the stuff i realised tht yes every thing is true and the sense of humour of the gentleman is super,i liked to read the matter n its really great i appreciate the work n the creative mind tht jots down with such flavoured words i also feel tht all young people should go thr the web site so tht they realise to improve themselve,i live in india n i think young generation here is not tht bsd due to the tradition we follow n the guidance tht we get frm parents,but still talking in global way then yes we young genration need to improve n thr is a long way to go……………….
helo,sir
its great to read ur thoughts ur unique in ur stuff,n it leaves a smile on my face whenever i read ur thoughts we all see all these things happening around us but when we read it i sounds different n interesting.i will be happy if u reply me…
Many thanks for your comments Komol,
It’s my pleasure to reply. I don’t know a great deal about Indian culture but I am a firm believer in both “tradition” and “guidance from parents.” And if the young people of India are influenced by those – I salute them.
I appreciate your kind comment. It is always nice to meet new people in other parts of the world.
However, depending on how “young” you are, I would hope that your parents are aware of the websites you are visiting and are comfortable with you viewing the type of content included here in my blog.
All the best,
Don
Don…Why do old people smell like Gouda?
So that no one mistakes us for smart ass young people who smell like bong water, velveeta and moral decay.
It’s that simple my friend.
Thanks for your question. If you have others, please feel free to ask.
Don
Helo Sir,
This is komal again from INDIA.I read ur 12th
July pie chart the most funniest chart,I have ever read,ur creativity is superb,ur different but i dont know why u write only about young people is that the only topic that u will be focusing every time u write or that is the only topic tht u find interesting to write?
Hello Komal.
First off, apologies for the lengthy delay in responding. I’ve been off for a short vacation.
In response to you question, I do believe that I will continue to focus on the problems of young people. Seems the older I get, the more they damned well cheese me off. And they aren’t showing any signs of smartening up soon.
All the best,
Don
First and Foremost gotta say I’m 22 years old….found your site while sifting through all these dead end job listings on the internet…after being told I cannot hand in a resume, shake a hand or talk to anyone with a real brain (in-store)I have to go online and apply at websites…Now I eventually got pissed and typed “How the hell will a young person find a job” in google and one of your post came up…I read all of em and I totally agree (well for the most part;) Im constantly asking myself “whatever happened to the spirit of The Duke (John Wayne.)” One thing I almost clapped out loud to was the post on young kids having disorders! I have to say I am still young and somewhat spontaneous but I know the satisfaction you can derive from an honest day of work, that I owe to my father.I feel incomplete without dealing with any honest struggle but Ive hit some sort of wall and cannot seem to get past it..I don’t believe I have a disorder or my parents “caused me some misfortune” by whipping my ass in line…It’s just getting really discouraging to see kids all around me that (in my opinion,) possess no admirable qualities having such good jobs and nice relationships presented on some silver platter on their blue-blood pedestal. Or seeing kids with jeans to their knees that say “gangbanger” on them wearing nightgowns for shirts and pantyhose for hats getting let off for possession of drugs in court for God knows what reason and I dress in the absolute best clothes I can get a hold of, cut my hair (although its short anyway) and use yes mam, no mam, yes sir and no sir instead of “fo sho and ahh-ight” and in the end I get penalized to the fullest extent of law for having been to a bar and drinking 3 beers waiting a few hours and driving home….I’m really getting fed up with everything around me and feel like finding the deepest cave I can in living in there…It just burns me to no end to be perpetually concluding that everything has become so ass-backwards and over-complicated that any attempt to go anywhere becomes another catch 22…
Listen, Sorry for going on forever about all this I just really need honest advice from someone who knows a thing or two…Id Been over it with my parents but it seems my whole family is running into problems andI think a lot like you but from a comparative standpoint to my own generation..I may have bored you or you might have stopped at 22 ha ha…but at least I feel better for writing it. Hopefully you may have a insight or something of the sort.
Oh yeah keep up the good work man! I’m a fan!
Dear Caleb,
I read your heartfelt comment and decided to reply to you because Mr Mills is away at present, otherwise I know he would reply to you.
I can sympathize with your dilemma, young man. It isn’t easy when everything around you seems crazy.
My advice is to try and find your joy in the simple things of life and those things will become important in the long run.
Hope to hear from you again,
Lily Fossil
Many thanks for the comment Caleb,
My apologies for the delay in responding but as Miss Lily Fossil pointed out I’ve been away on a short vacation.
I’m not much on providing advice but I suppose if I were pushed I would say that you need to continue to believe in yourself and stay true to your values. You’re a young man, and there is a long road ahead of you. Stay patient, stay positive (that’s crucial) and good things will come. I believe that to be damned true.
That may be pretty damned trite but it’s the best I have, Caleb.
All the best,
Don
Hi, Don.
I stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say thanks for sharing your words, I’ve enjoyed reading them.
I’m a crabby young fart myself and I hope to one day reach the point you have — where my strong opinions have been tempered by wisdom from years of experience.
Keep sharing, buddy. By damn you’ve earned the right to. 😉
Thanks cjc813,
Nice of you to stop in for a visit.
That’s a damned nice comment and I appreciate it very much.
All the best and I hope to hear from you again.
Don
You’re so cute!
Thank Brahmi,
Old man and babies. It’s a blessing and a curse.
Best regards,
Don
As another certified old fart curmudgeon Don I’d like to say how much I appreciate what you are doing here. Them damn young whippersnappers have no respect for themselves or their
betters, elders, at all. Damn lot of them should be shipped off to work camps, eat gruel, and push that damn railroad through the mosquito infested swamps of northern Ontario to the coast.Many thanks It,
It’s always nice to hear from another certified old fart curmudgeon (I’d offer the secret handshake but this isn’t a secure connection).
And I have to say, work camps and gruel sounds like a damned fine idea. (Though I do know folks in Northern Ontario and I’d feel bad about dumping our problems up there. Perhaps Manitoba?)
Thanks for stopping in. Good to hear from you.
Don
I found many of your posts to be quite funny, even though I am a “young folk”. I’m not sure whether you’ll even bother to reply to me though. I just really, really want to ask you to somewhere put every now and then that not all young folks are like this. But I’m not going to beg because, quite simply, you may or may not agree. I know that not all young people are like this, including me. Now, I will admit, there is some things that you post that I do/have. For example, I do have a cell-phone. But I am not stupid in math, reading, or any subjects really, have never done any drugs, don’t listen to (alot) of rap music (just some of the lighter stuff, but I listen to everything from Mozart to rap so…), and I most definately (sorry, I probably spelt that wrong…) know that I am male. I think your posts are very funny, but also quite steriotypical. I don’t go on and on moaning about how the “old folks” act.
Sorry for rambling on so much!
With only good intent
-Hayden
Dear Mr Hayden,
Mr Mills is away fishing at the moment and I’m sure he wont mind if I reply to you. You sound like a very smart young man, though you need to pull your socks up in Spelling!
I am so very pleased to hear a young person saying they listen to Mozart as well as that dreadful rap stuff.
I love Mozart too.
Thank you for dropping by and I hope you you will come back another day so Mr Mills can thank you personally.
Best wishes,
Lily Fossil
Well I thank you for replying Miss (or Mrs.?) Lily! I will admit, I am not the best speller, but I do well enough in all the subjects to be the Valedictorian of my Middle School (there was a whopping total of 60 students!!!). Ha!
Well thank you for your time, and I will come back to this page on occasion!
Best Wishes
-Hayden
Many thanks Hayden (and thank you too Lily for your reply),
First off, congratulations on being Valedictorian of your Middle School. It doesn’t matter how many students there are (there were maybe 30 in my entire grammar school), it still shows pride and hard work.
Now listen, Hayden, I admit that I many generalize a tiny bit but I base my posts on what I see. And frankly, what I see scares the hell out of me.
I’ll try to temper my posts but I’d also suggest you round up some other decent young folks and try to raise your profile a bit! You’re not getting a lot of press and that’s a damned shame.
All the best,
Don
i for one feel like im an elderly man in a young persons body; i couldn’t agree more with half the things uttered.
life simply culminates into 2 things in my eyes. death and cake.
Many thanks zsasz,
Death and cake? And odd combo platter but it works for me. Sounds like you’re ahead of your time lad.
All the best. Hope I’ll hear from you again.
Don
I’m glad t
I think I’ve found my new favorite grandpa. Here’s to old farts and loud whistles!
Where’s my mosquito tone so I can blast some young eardrums?
Keep it crankin, Don!
Nice to see you Wordnerd45,
To old farts and loud whistles indeed!
All the best,
Don
Hi Don. I’m not quite as old as you, but I think I have the same cardigan.
Nice of you to stop in XUP,
Same Cardigan? Did you pick it up at the J.C. Penney in Dayton back in 64? They had a hell of sale on. I picked up 5 in the same size, colour and style. Still have every last one of them.
Nothing better than a nice cardigan.
Thanks for visiting.
Don
Hey Donald! I was looking on the internet to find ways to deal with disrespectfulness in teens. Our son is seventeen, knows everything, will NEVER admit he’s wrong (even when it’s blatantly apparent!), refuses to say “please” or “May I” because he feels it’s not necessary, barely talks to my husband and I, grunts his answers, is seriously irresponsible, disrespectful, rude, and in-human at times, and this all came about in the past two years! Prior to that, we had a terrific kid…now it’s nothing short of moodiness. Your blog hits-the-nail on the head and made me feel ten times better that you recognize it as well as others.
Hi Karyn,
I’m deeply sorry to hear about the troubles you’re having with your son. Hopefully, in time and with some patience, things will turn around.
Chin up. They damned well grow out of it in time.
All the best,
Don
Dear Don,
I liked your posts and sense of humo(u)r.
You mentioned that you don’t care much for young people. That doesn’t sound rude?
Your words clearly depict the selfishness that is prevailing in the developed countries. Old men don’t want to bother the young jerks and vice versa. Everyone is bothered about ‘their’ life and not about others. But, everybody is moaning and groaning and nobody seems to be happy.
Luckily the case is not so worst in developing/undeveloped countries. MOST of the old men are still concerned about the young and MOST of us still respect and listen them (Note Most, not ALL) (But I should agree that the scenario is changing now as the so called developed countries are outsourcing their problems also along with the jobs).
The word ‘Concern’ has some significances here. What the Young/Old men are CONCERNED/Not-CONCERNED causes the conflict. Each one tries to dictate what the other should CONCERN/Not-CONCERN.
Though you say don’t care much about the young, you are not so. You observe each of our activities than we do our peers. The more you observe, the more you will be frustrated.
Why don’t you call a childhood friend and chat about the ‘Golden yesteryears’ and the WWII heroes, than watching and frowning at the jerks? It seems you like moaning and groaning about the youngsters than spending time with your friends. If thats the case, I am sure that then you’ll do so even we are ‘good’. Keeping the eyes off them will be good for your physical & mental health (But we may lose some good posts)
I didn’t mean to offend you, in anyway. If you felt that I did, my apologies for that and that may be because English is not my mother tongue and I am not very good with it.
I like old men and of course many of my close friends are almost twice elder than me (I am 28 now). (I like to hear them speaking about the ‘Golden days’ of manual cameras, huntings etc). I feel anybody lived few days more than I did, are worthy for that. I respect them and want to learn from them.
For me learning is the way of living life and I learn how to live by looking at my seniors and how not to by looking at my peers & juniors. But sometimes the otherway also happens. It is all what we decide.
Thanks for writing such nice posts. Hope you will have a better and peaceful life ahead.
Many thanks Mohan,
You’re a smart young lad and have an excellent grasp of the language. I’ve said it before but I respect anyone who takes the time to learn a second language.
You offer some good advice, son, but I can’t simply turn a blind eye or ignore what is going on around me. It’s not in my nature.
You seem like a very decent young man. It’s heartening to hear a young person say that he looks to his seniors for direction and guidence. Keep at it lad, and I’m sure you’ll go far.
All the best,
Don
*HUGE hug!*
There – bitch about that one… *smirk/wink*
I think you are delightful, funny and truthful.
(I also suspect that you are loving, kind and gentle person – especially when no one is looking. A bleeding heart even – I won’t tell though…)
Be well ‘old man’
M.L.
Thank you wordsweneversaid,
I appreciate your kind words and your comments on the posts.
I like to think I’m a decent enough chap – just a little cranky at times. I’m not sure about the “bleeding heart” part though. Slightly enlarged heart perhaps…
Thanks for visiting,
Don
I think you aren’t as ‘old’ as you claim. You are probably middle-aged, or youngish even. (to your own disgust). But you are one hell of a great writer. You make sarcasm and cynicism an art form! Brilliant and hilarious. Some of it is true too. And this is coming from a ‘young’ person.
Thanks designscene,
I appreciate the kind words. I can assure you, however, that I am old. Damned old. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
Hope to hear from you again and thanks for stopping in.
All the best,
Don
thank goodness I am not young, I guess, and I can be crabby with the best of them. Found you today and will subscribe to follow the nonsense, heehee
Hey Don your a cool guy but i don’t think the negative aditude about us so called lazy ass good for nothing stupid retarted teenagers is cool cuz its only the few that make us look bad! And i don’t think my parents raised 4 horrible children….
Thank you Cole,
You’re an interesting young man, Mr. Cole. Based on your other comments you’ve clearly got spunk and stand up for what you believe in. I like that.
I’m sure your parents did a fine job. Keep up the fight, lad. If there are good young people out there, they need a vocal advocate.
All the best,
Don
Hi!
I think you write so well, it’s really great! Thank you for making me laugh!
Bye Bye,
Inari
Many thanks for visiting Inari.
I appreciate the kind words.
All the best,
Don
I absolutely adore your website. You rock on so many levels, you old man, you. Take care.
Thanks for visiting Vivi,
I’m grateful for the kind words and have never been told I “rock” before (let alone on many levels). So thank you for that.
Appreciate your stopping in. Don’t be a stranger.
Best regards,
Don
Don, you in your chair remind me so much of my dad. At first glance, I thought that was who I was looking at. He passed away in 1982. He would agree with everything you write, I think. Thanks for the great humor (and truth).
Many thanks Jeanne,
I’m truly sorry for your loss. It was a ways back but we never stop missing our old dads.
All the best and thanks for the kind words. Hope to hear from you again.
Sincerely,
Don
AAAHHHH, come on, gramps. We’re not all that bad. And one day, we’ll be just like you!
teeeheee
Many thanks Momhadadreamaboutme,
I don’t mind telling you that your “teeeheee” unhinged me a bit lad. You sound just like my brother York.
I look forward to the day when more young folks wear cardigans, eat with utensils and communicate without profanity. You’ve given me hope son.
Nice of you to stop in for a visit.
All the best
Don
Okay i tried to say that all of us kids are not lazy druggies that love hanging out infront of stores but you won’t even say something back…. i am fit i work out, i never touched drugs and i don’t hangout infront of stores! So what is the deal? I think my mom raised a good boy not the boy you think she did, the one i know she did!
P.S. I have no problem with your freedom of speech im just trying to say where i live its full of athletic kids and my highschool has the most athletic kids and some grew up to be famous and we also have a nice gym…. oh thats right we are are lazy ass druggies and our parents failed tp raise us cuz they are horrible people….NOT!
Oh wats the point im just a lazy druggie with parents who raised him like shit so would it help if i killed myself?
Dear Mr Cole,
You raise some interesting points. Mr Mills doesn’t always reply here as far as I can tell. Maybe you could come to his latest blog and talk there?
best wishes,
Lily Fossil
Goodness gracious it’s Cole, the lad with “turrets”
(I’m still looking into that Cole but suspect now that it may be a dehabilitating syndrome that results in people uttering profanities when confronted by arcane archetectural styles?)
Anyway…
Jesus Christ, Cole, you’re all over the map in these damned comments of yours. I have a terrible time trying to understand what you young people are going on about sometimes. You can’t stay on subject and meander back and forth between sarcasm and self-righteousness.
And it’s typical of you young people to expect a response immediately and then get all wound up if you don’t. You demand everything immediately. Instant breakfasts, instant messaging – you’d do well to learn some patience lad. Take a breath. Smell the roses. Help a senior cross the street.
And, without question, well played on the “maybe I should kill myself” card. It’s a classic young person manoeuvre.
Nice of you to stop in Cole. You seem a decent enough lad – you just need to take things a little less seriously.
All the best.
Don
Hi there Mr. Mills!
I have to say that reading your blog has certainly brought tears to my eyes from laughing so hard. I especially enjoyed your latest post about the number of decent young people in this world and learned, sadly, that I had not made the list of fifty-seven. For that I apologize to you because, well, it is probably deserved.
While I have yet to read most of your posts, should you have the time, I was wondering if I could get your position on video games. As gaming continues to become a more open medium of entertainment (especially with the casual gaming revolution that is the Nintendo Wii) I’d like to know where you stand as a senior citizen on this issue.
Thank you for your time; I hope I didn’t take up too much of it.
Sincerely,
Chris Davis
Austin, TX
Hello Chris,
First off my apologies for the lengthy delay in responding. I appreciate your comment and your taking the time to visit.
My views on the video games are set out here:
I tackled that particular problem sometime back in May.
Many thanks the comment and, again, sorry for the delay is passing on my gratitude.
All the best,
Don
Mr. Mills,
This is an excellent blog and I literally LOL when I read it. I don’t know if my avitar will show up, but I was that young when JFK was president. I’m a little older now.
Some people smarter than me say that laughing out loud is good for your health. Even if that is not true, I plan to come back often.
Thank you for your blog and I hope for your continued success.
Thanks very much iggydonnelly for the kind words. I hope to hear from you again soon.
Best Regards,
Don
p.s. the avatar came through just fine. Nice to see a lad with a decent haircut for a change.
I’m young, and will have to say I agree with just dang near everything you write. I really like your blog, and will definately be back.
Thanks for the kind words T.J.
Hope to see you back soon.
Best,
Don
You have my respect, sir.
Don’t stop expressing your feelings. Even young people like myself are enjoying your blog (and honestly, agreeing with most of what you say).
Thank you very much, Fenekk, for this comment and the others you left today on a number of posts.
I appreciate your taking the time to read some of the older material and then provide your thoughts on them. I don’t know if I’ll be able to respond to each in detail so I wanted to thank you here. You seem like a damned fine young person and I wish you all the best.
I hope to hear from you again.
Best regards,
Don
Thanks for patronizing my blog! You’re welcome back anytime.
As an official Thanks, i’ve posted a Welcome Blog (http://pjensi.wordpress.com/2009/09/13/welcome-unka-donald/) where i link your blog. Hope that’s ok and that i’m not stepping on any toes. If that turns out to be the case, just let me know and i’ll delete the post and offer my apologies.
Nice to see you Al K Hall,
I’ll be sure to drop by and see you again. And many thanks for the welcome, that’s very kind of you.
All the best,
Don
Geez! Don, you are one angry sarcastic mean honest person. Keep up the great work. I love it. Love the Blog.
Ornery Frank
Many thanks Ornery Frank,
That’s a damned fine name you have there. Hope to hear from you again.
Don
Dear Mr. Mills,
Today my english teacher showed us one of your scripts… The one about student discounts… After she had read it to us she asked us to do an assignment on it and that’s exacly what i have done tonight for homework. I really enjoyed it and i understand exacly what you mean when i read this script, if you’d like to read what i have written back to you i would be pleased to show you what i have said about it. I am very pleased to have found youre site and i will be on here often reading thing from you!
Tiffany,
Thank you very much for the comment. I’ve often imagined being a school study topic but always thought the class would be ancient history – not english.
Regardless, I would be very interested in reading your assignment. In fact, I will go out on a limb and suggest sight unseen that you should demand nothing less than an A+ on the paper. Clearly you are a young person of considerable intellect, taste and you have darned good manners to boot.
If you’d like to post the response in the comments section you’re welcome to do so. Or, if you’d prefer, I can send you my email address and you may send it to my that way.
I’m looking forward to reading your assignment and thank you for the kind words.
Best regards,
Don Mills
Thank you so kindly Mr. Mills! if you would like i can post it on the comment board under the script… Cause i know what is like to give your email away to someone you dont know well!
Thank you Tiffany,
Please feel free. I look forward to reading it.
Kind regards,
Don
Don,
Keep calling it as it is.
Old School – Stand up to your bully.
New School – Complain to anyone who will listen that you are constantly being picked on then set up an anonymous blog slandering your bully while twittering how clever you are.
Many thanks Old Enough to Know Better,
You’ve summed up the differences damned well. Couldn’t have said it better myself.
Thanks for visiting.
Best regards,
Don
I definately agree with your post that we are raising terrible people. I mean, look at whats going on in the world. If they were taught to do a few things around the house, then I think they would turn out ok. But in turn, they even had someone wipe their butts for them. Keep up the good work!
Thanks LarlaSue,
A few household chores go a Hell of a long way and a little discipline doesn’t hurt either (well, perhaps at first but not in the long run).
Appreciate your stopping in.
Don
Hey pops…whats crackin?
Love ur site mate. All us young whippersnaps at HIGHSCHOOL were havin a good old laugh in IT class . But seriously apart from the emos, jocks, skanks and stoners etc… we cant all be THAT bad right? Im mates with plenty of people well into their senior years, The generation gap is always going to be rough if you let it. Take a chance and say hi to your neighbours kids… it might just be worth it.
Keep the good stuff coming.
From Matt and all the boys in IT, Cambelltown TAFE, Australia
I suppose you “OZ dudes” were too busy surfing…spinning your tyres…or hooking up with Brazen Careerists to notice what happen on the 22 July 1009. Larry LaPraise the writer of the musical master piece “The Hokey Pokey” died. RIP Larry (sniff).
Also the tragic events preparing for his funeral…. they put one leg in………………………
And thats when all the trouble started…….
Thanks Matt,
Not sure what’s crackin…likely my joints and possibly my femur but I don’t think that’s what you had in mind.
Thanks for visiting and pass on my best regards to the lads in IT, Cambelltown TAFE, Australia.
Don
Dear Mr. Mills,
I’ve read through all your blog entries today and I simply love them. Your humorous way to describe my generation is more often than not just too accurate. Please keep up that sarcastic and cynical ranting.
I’ll definitely be back to read your future texts on how bad everything has gotten since the old days.
All the best,
Meli
Very nice of you to visit, Meli, and thanks for the kind words. It’s always a treat to hear from a sensible young person.
Hope to hear from you again.
Best regards,
Don
I have to compliment you on your wit, writing style, stylish dress, and what looks to be a very comfortable chair.
May you live forever.
That’s a very nice comment, bukkakellama. I appreciate that very much.
I like to think I dress sensibly but stylishly (a sweater vest is always fashionable) and my chair is perhaps the most comfortable piece of furniture on God’s green earth.
Many thanks for visiting.
Don
this text is georgious =)
i’ve searched an article for our english lesson and now i found that, brilliant, really brillant. this will be a great discussion.
Thanks and nice greetings from austria
Thank you very much Michaela,
I’m glad you enjoyed your visit and hope the article led to a fullsome discussion.
Always nice to hear from folks from overseas.
Best regards,
Don
Dear Don,
I find what you write about young people to be horribly generalised and mostly unfounded. While some young people do indeed fall into the remit of comments you have made, the overwhelming majority do not.
The same can be said about any section of society, there will always exist a minority who are a disgrace to themselves and the human race as a whole. It is far to easy to make a scapegoat of young people.
I am an Explorer Scout in the UK Scout Association. I am also a Young Leader to younger scouts.
I spend over 10 hours a week working with young people in my community, providing them with opportunities to take part in a wide range of activities that they would not have the opportunity to take part in outside of Scouting.
I also give up many more hours a week helping Scouting at a national level by supporting The Scout Association using my various specialist skills as a Web Designer and Developer.
I am 17 years old and feel myself to have been unduly tarred with your “young people are worthless” brush.
Regards,
Gavin Holt
Hiya Gav, (you don’t mind if I call you ‘Gav’, do you?)
Nice one with the scouting, by the way; a most worthwhile activity.
My son used to be an Explorer, as well as being a young leader. He loved it all, and despite working with a bunch of spotty, ill-behaved oiks, managed to retain a good sense of humour, and the invaluable ability to spot satire a mile off, before it crept up and bit him on the arse.
Cheers mate, and good luck with your web business.
Thanks Gavin.
Appreciate the commnent. I don’t think I can add anything – Nobbly summed it up well.
Best of luck with your business, son.
Don
This guy! Keep it up old man. Thanks for the kind (?) words. You are a step ahead of the “bocce ball” crew. When I can get my government-subsidized Hoveround, it’s me, you and Vega$. We’ll blow the kids’ trust funds, before they can say “power of attorney”. Kudos, my friend, you have a new fan.
Thank you danof89.
Nice of you stop in. Keep me posted on that hoveround – I haven’t been to Vegas in years.
Don
Ram lives !
Hi don, just came across yout blog today, that’s a somwhat singular dry caustc wit you have, but are you fully qualified to comment on the young? the reason I ask is in your photo I cant see if your trousers go right up to your chest, I see no slippers and no tea caddy for your head. keep up the good work and will be adding you site to my blogroll – James
Many thanks James.
Sorry for the delay in responding. I’ve gotten a little behind in my comments. I appreciate the kind words and the link – and can assure you that in most photos my trousers ride up considerably higher.
All the best,
Don
Spot on Don. Every word of it. If there’s anything that chaps my ass more than lazy god damned good for nothing teenagers, its the crazy women that gave birth to them. Women nowadays don’t know to stay in the kitchen and keep their mouths shut for a goddamned second. Your blog inspired me to vent my frustrations as well, since i very well can’t run around town giving them all the smacking they deserve. check it out and please send me any tips or advice you may have. http://theproblemwithwomen.blogspot.com Thanks again for writing
Wage Donkey
Many thanks wage donkey.
Good luck with your blog. Sorry I haven’t been by to visit yet. I’ll be sure to do so soon.
Don
Hey Don, I was wondering if I could have your email adress, I found my self in sticky and perhaps exsplosive situation and would like a wise old man’s advice. I know you have mine so could you just drop me a line.
Sincerely, and possibly upshits creek,
Rose
Love it.
Well this is me, Corve!
🙂
Many thanks Corve.
Good to know that is you.
All the best,
Don
The problem with elderly people is that they are unable to differentiate between “your” and “you’re” 😉
I’m 17, a rather regular teenager (set apart only by my stunning good looks and astonishing intellect), and yet I find your blog amusing and enjoyable to read. Write on!
Thanks Mac.
A great comment. I appreciate it.
I apologize for the poor grammer. I am a rather regular senior (set apart only by my stunning good looks and astonishing intellect) but I still make the odd mistake.
Write on indeed. Thanks for visiting.
Don
Hello Don.
This blog is a welcome surprise! I was linked to it via another and I’ve had a huge smile on my face reading through it. Great stuff and I love your sense of humour.
Many thanks Jay-Jay for this and the other comments you’ve left on the site.
I appreciate your visiting with me.
All the best,
Don
Don,
I wanted to call your attention to this fine Irish comedian, Dara O’Briain, who has an interesting perspective on young people. Hope you enjoy this clip:
Best regards.
Many thanks Fantastic Forrest,
I’ll be sure to give it a look. Did you manage to locate your phantom document?
Best
Don
Hello, Don. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
If you ask me, the problem with young people today is they’ve never been put up a chimney before. God damn idle shirkers pampered with cell phones and play stations. Why, in my day a games console was a stick and hoop and if we wanted to call someone we made telephones out of yogurt pots and a piece of string.
I hope you’ve got something to say about dress sense. God damn kids with their pants round their thighs makes me so angry…
Many thanks Wilbur (and a damned fine name too).
I covered the “dress sense” issue a ways back. If you are interested, it was likely one of the first dozen or so posts. I covered the sex, drugs, tattooes and baggy pants issues fairly early on.
I remember the tin can phones well (we didn’t have yogurt posts). Hours of fun and at no cost.
All the best,
Don
Dear Don
I love you! You could never have known this but a friend sent a lovely email to us today. I will post it at the bottom of this comment. My mother is aging and it was very timely. I wanted to post a picture of a Cranky Old Man since that is what the email was entitled so, of course, I Googled and what did I get but your page? Well, in a nut shell, all hell is breaking loose in my family right now and the youngers are verbally shooting the elders. Finding you page was like finding gold sitting on my doorstep. Bless you! Now I can show them that I am not the only one who has some issues with the way the youngsters of today conduct themselves. When I come back home a little later today I will have a good cup of coffee and some serious reading of your site. Thank you for putting a smile on my face and for being a sensible light out there. My own daughter who is 31 and a wonderful mother of 4 just said this about your site: ¨HA!!!! Not only was that hilarious, but it was so good to read something that was written intelligently. It was an actual ‘piece’. Refreshing! Clever old fart — I wish he lived here. Where have all the clever people gone?¨ Of course, she mean the old fart part in jest and certainly not disrespect. I know her that well. At least I know there are still some of us that understand the word respect and can even spell it!
Thank you for being out there Don!
Ellen
Here is the email my friend sent:
__________________________________________________
This is beautiful and should make us all think…
CRABBY OLD MAN
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in North Platte, Nebraska, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.
One nurse took her copy to Missouri. The old man’s sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.
And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this ‘anonymous’ poem winging across the Internet.
Crabby Old Man
What do you see nurses? . . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . When you’re looking at me?
A crabby old man, . . . .. . Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . . . . . . . … With faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food . . .. . . . . And makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . . ‘I do wish you’d try!’
Who seems not to notice . . . The things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . . .. . . . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . .. . . . .. . . . Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding. . . . The long day to fill?
Is that what you’re thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . You’re not looking at me.
I’ll tell you who I am. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . . As I eat at your will
I’m a small child of Ten . . . . . . With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . . . . . . . Who love one another.
A young boy of Sixteen . .. With wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now .. . . . . . . A lover he’ll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . My heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . . That I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .. . . . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . . . .. My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . .. . . . . . With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. . Have grown and are gone,
But my woman’s beside me . .. . . . . . To see I don’t mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play ’round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future … . . . . . . . . . Shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . . . . . .. Young of their own.
And I think of the years . .. . And the love that I’ve known.
I’m now an old man . . . . . . .. .. . And nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . . Look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . . . Grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . . . . . Where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . . A young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . .. . . . My battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I’m loving and living . . . . . .. . . . . . Life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . . . . . Gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . . .. . That nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . . . . Open and see.
Not a crabby old man. Look closer…see ME!
Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within . . . . we will all, one day, be there, too!
PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM
The best and most beautiful things of this world can’t be seen or touched.
They must be felt by the heart..
Many thanks Ellen for the gracious comments and for the poem as well. Both meant a lot to me.
Please pass my best regards on to your mother and daughter.
I do hope to hear from you again.
Best regards,
Don
Don,
I’d like to hear your thoughts on birthday parties for grown-ups
Sorry for the delay in responding, Kim. Damned rude of me.
I don’t mind subtle quiet parties for older folks and I’ve no objected to a piece of unfrosted cake but there’s no way in Hell you’re getting me to sit on a pony, watch a damned clown or break a pinata with my cane.
Sorry it’s not the most fulsome reply Kate. I’ve been a little weary lately and have fallen behind.
All the best,
Don
Hi:
My name is Yirus. I have a blog too. I would like you to put an advertisment of my blog in yours. If you do this, I would put and ad of yours in mine. It’s a way to let people know abous us.
If you are interested, please, leave a message in my blog.
Yirus.
PD: Sorry for my bad English.
You must have a lot of girlfriends. No joke.
Thanks Jim,
I do okay, thanks for asking. The secret’s in the artificial hips.
All the best,
Don
I was having a conversation with my wife about young people in the work place. On a lark, I typed “problem with young people” into Google and found your site. Fantastic!
Very kind of you to say Gerry.
I’m glad you found the site and delighted you enjoyed it.
All the best.
Don
400!!
(Sorry Don. There’s really no point to this comment, I’ve just always wanted to be the 400th something…)
401!
Sorry bschooled. There’s also really no point to this reply to your comment, It’s just that I’ve always wanted to be the 401st something… And now the dream has come true. But where to from here…? Do I dare reach for the forbidden fruit that is 402…?
Sorry, but that would be me.
Please do, Alan!
I have to admit that although I’ve always wanted to be the 400th something (and look at me now!), I’ve also always wanted to be the 403rd something. Maybe even more than I’ve wanted to be the 400th something! Then again, maybe less (tough to say).
So here’s the thing. If you follow your dream and eat that forbidden #402 fruit, that means I can be #403, thus killing two of my dream-fulfilling birds with two stones!
So yes, I say you make 402 your new goal and achieve it. If not for you, then for all the people who look up to you. (and I’m not talking those midget movie guys either.)
Hurry, though…before someone beats you to it…
Crap! Foiled by the respectable Lily Fossil.
But wait…that means I was 403…
I did it!
hehe you clever woman!
Congratulations to you, bschooled. And to you too, Lily.
It’s wonderful to see you both fulfilling your dreams and experiencing the sublime joy that comes with the highly coveted comment numbers 402 and 403. I, on the other hand am now bracing myself to sink into a well of despair (aka comment number 404).
I guess while I am waiting I could read a good book or make something nice to eat. But the problem is that literature and food remind me of the numbers 402 and 403.
I do believe there are some trying and troubling times ahead for me. That well of despair is damp and not rent controlled.
Yikes! Did I say 404 was comment despair? I meant 405. What was I thinking? Ah, the curse of pre-despair despair. It’s caused by, well, you know, the oncoming well of despair…
I feel for you Alan.
But look at the bright side…at least pre-despair will allow you to prepare and save up some coin for the non rent-controlled despair.
Let’s face it, some people don’t have that option. They just go straight from non-despair to despair. They don’t even get to hang out in despair limbo for a bit…
Sad, really.
Thank you for your sage words, bschooled
They are greatly appreciated and a, um, sage (yeah, that’s it!) reminder not only to me, but to all of us that there are greater hardships lurking out there like the sneaky little connivers they are. Stupid conniving hardships. Not to wish ill on them but I hope they all eat shit and die. Well, okay, I guess that is wishing ill on them – but they are hardships. And not only did they steal my best gal, they also continually prank me whenever they get the chance. Just last week they “pants” me on six separate occasions.
But you are right, it could be worse. I could be dwelling in a worse place than the well of despair, I could be residing in the bucket of sorrow. Now that place is a dump. Small too. And don’t get me started on its view…
FF: Hah! 409! Good one.
Despite my efforts to resist this thread, I must get this spot, because I am a formula writer.
Get it?
Formula 409.
Tee hee.
Congratulations Fantastic Forest!
See, not only is Don a brilliant blogger and elderly scholar, he has the ability to make people’s dreams come true! He’s like the “Matlock of wish-granting”. (Or something old and charitable like that.)
Alan, I’m sorry that your dreams are the only ones that remain untrue. Had I known you would take it this hard, I never would have posted the 400th comment…or maybe I still would have, but I definitely would’ve done it after you had gone to sleep.
Then again, since you’ve said that you don’t sleep much, I may not have succeeded in truing your untrue dream, thus making it a moot dream. And if I didn’t succeed in mooting your dream, I would feel like a failure, which is the exact opposite of the dream I had in the first place.
(You following me here?)
Yes, I realize it’s a lot to take in, maybe you should sleep on it and get back to me in the morning. Yes, I think that would be best. (besides, I think Don has gone to bed and I don’t want him yelling at us to keep it down)
Oh wait, nevermind. I forgot that you don’t sleep much.
…does your bucket of sorrow have a pull-out by chance? I think I may need a place to crash…
Many thanks for your concern, bschooled. It provides me with some comfort. Although cold hard cash would probably solve more of my problems. But I do have some good news. I have found a solution to falling asleep. It’s called passing out. I still don’t get real sleep but do I get lots of nodding out time. I’ve gotten pretty adept at it. In fact, I can pass out pretty much anywhere. It’s fun for me, not so much for the passengers in my car.
And I still find myself tired of waking up tired.
The bucket of sorrow does have a pull out and you are more then welcome to use. Or would be if I hadn’t just been evicted. I’m now living in the thimble of agony.
Alantru, I am alarmed for you. There is only one place left for you as you continue to decline: the microchip of woe. And no one should inhabit that hellish place. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, man, for the love of God, before it’s too late….
It’s too late, FF!
I am now residing in the micro dust speck of Boo-Whoville. I keep crying out “I am here, I am here” but no one seems to hear me…
Poor alantru! The well of despair and the bucket of sorrow are pitiful venues. I wouldn’t try to get any sympathy from these four guys, though. They REALLY had it hard:
Hah!
I must be numerically challenged because I don’t see a number for each comment, unless it is subliminal and reserved for real bloggers?
Lily – look up at the top of the post. It gives the total number of responses. We’re just counting from the last post to get our number – at least I am, maybe some people counted from the beginning! 🙂
Thank you FF…yes, of course; silly me.
I really do like this blog by the way, I’m just arguementative…
Thanks for the clarification Miranda.
Best regards,
Don
I came across an ancient Sumerian phrase that some student scribe wrote down on a clay tablet some 4,500 years ago, and this is now one of my favorite sayings, Sumerian or otherwise: it’s a nice two-line poem, really.
” Nanni cherished his old age: “I am what an old man should be.” “
Many thanks Unnecessary Mountain Boy,
It’s a very fine poem. I like it a great deal and appreciate your sharing it with me.
Thanks again and best regards,
Don
Helo Don !
And Hello to you as well Tasneem.
Thanks for visiting with an old man.
All the best,
Don
Don, you are talented beyond words; especially the words most kids put on their resumes today (bitches, gang tags, etc.).
I replied to Scott yesterday how great it was to find an author you never read before, and now I have to include you in that fold (besides your replies in other posts). This is a hysterical piece of work, and should be submitted as required classroom instruction. Now if you can just package it as an addictive video game . . .
I better go over my resume again; there may be a subtle reference to my brief run in the seventies as an actor known as “Danny Velour”.
Thanks for some great entertainment. It reminds me of the night I saw Rodney Dangerfield, and came away exhausted from laughing, and awed by his talent. Unbelievable!
Many thanks Dan,
That’s extremely kind of you to say and I appreciate it a great deal. I believe I saw a couple of “Danny Velour” films back in the mid-seventies while at a sales convention in Fort Wayne. Interesting work, there is no doubt about that, but I’m sure you’ll agree that the movie business is now way for a man to make a living.
Thanks again for the kind words Dan. And for visiting.
All the best,
Don
Don ,
Do you know how fun it is to be in young and have some drinks/smoke some weed and try to fuck young girls? Man I i would rather be an ignorant dumb young person than an angry old man any day. Just my opinion..enjoy the rest of your life dude.
Thanks Evan.
I have no objection to young people having fun – though I prefer wholesome fun like scrabble tournaments, chaperoned socials and book clubs. Fun that is non-life threatening and also teaches a little something.
My only point would be that if they have no respect for themselves or aren’t taking steps to educate themselves, ignorant dumb young people have a nasty habit of growing into ignorant dumb middle aged people and ultimately ignorant dumb old people. And, call me old fashioned, but I think it is a waste to live an ignorant dumb life.
Just my opinion too lad. Do as you please, just don’t do it on my lawn, okay?
All the best,
Don
Mr. Don,
Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my blog about teaching kids how to have some phone manners.
Love your blog, keep writing!
Your new fan,
Charlotte
Thanks very much Charlotte. Keep after those damned kids and their lousy phone technique.
All the best,
Don
This site is full of side-splitters but it also makes me sad to be in my thirties.
I wanna be an angry old fart who is stuck yearning for the “good ole days.” Life is so unfair…
Thank you Jimmy,
Never fear, lad. Just stay away from fatty foods, methamphetamine and rap music and you’ll get there soon enough.
All the best,
Don
One of the best damn sites I have seen in a God Damn while!!!
Thank you kindly Haleh.
Appreciate the damned fine comment.
Regards,
Don
My husband and I are looking forward to the day when we can tell kids about living in the 2000s as younger adults. We intend to use the word “aught” frequently. Like, “when we got married in aught three…”. Can’t wait.
It does have a nice ring to it doesn’t it, momromp.
All the best,
Don
Don,
The REAL trouble with young people is that they havent been around long enough to have learnt anything really worthwhile.
From smart arsed spotty young Policemen to EXTREME evreything peckerheads that make lots of noise because they can they all give me the shits !
Then there is the special class of smart arsed lads that just want to argue about evreything, even the bleeding obvious. They just argue for arguments sake and usually manage to dig themselves deeper and deeper in the shit !
Life isnt like a box of chocolates and if you think it is don’t complain when it melts !
Herumph Herumph !
Geoff
Many thanks Geoff
And a harumph from me as well. An excellent comment. I love the phrase Extreme everything peckerheads – that’s a damned keeper if I ever heard one.
All the best,
Don
Hello, sir. I don’t want anyone to know my real name yet, so: Hi. I am Jonathan (pseudonym).
You know, you’re the kind of sensible old fellow that makes me think America would be such a great place if there were only more of you. I’m not American, and since there aren’t more people like you I think I’d rather stay here in this country for a while as you try to reform it one step at a time, like I try with mine.
I may be fifteen, but I (still) respect my elders. I don’t drink alcohol, I’m not verdant of conscience, and while I am far from perfect (look at Malign and Edge), I see you as an exemplary gentleman.
I’d mow your lawn for you, but I’m on the other side of the map. I love you, man. You know, not in a gay way.
Jonathan Ferxist
Thank you Jonathan,
You sound like a decent young man and I appreciate your kind words. (also not meant in a gay way.)
Keep on the right path, young man. You’re obviously a smart lad with a bright future – I wish you all the best in your future endeavours.
All the best,
Don
Dear Mr. Mills,
Keep up the great work and read those crazy young people the Riot Act.
They all need a Mr. Mills in their lives to keep them on the straight and narrow.
Merry Christmas & a happy, less reason-to-be-grumpy New Year.
Sincerely,
Chris
Many thanks Chris,
And a less reason-to-be-grumpy New Year to you as well, lad.
All the best,
Don
Mr Mills, what can I say? I stumbled upon your blog only a few weeks and have been enjoying it ever since. I like you, am intolerant of young people and see no reason to change unless they do. Simple as that. You are gifted and amusing beyond words.
Your poetry in my eyes makes you the new bard.
I share the same ‘middle’ name as your dear wife so I feel all Aggies are good and decent people.
It’s with baited breath I await part 2
Thank you for the new found blog. Between you and the “Friggin Loon” my entertainment is complete
Ann
Thank you Celtic Queen.
You’re very kind and I appreciate it a great deal. And I’m delighted to learn that you share the same middle name as my dear wife. I had you pegged for a smart, decent woman the first time I read one of your comments.
Many thanks for visiting and for all of the comments you’ve left on other posts.
Warm regards,
Don
Why thank you kind sir.
I love you blog.. Come to Upstate New York – where the boys wear their jeans around their ankles and they wear hooded sweatshirts in the summer and t- shirts in the winter..
Roberta
Thank you very much Roberta,
I appreciate the invite but based on your description I’ll steer well clear of Upstate New York in future. Hooded sweatshirts annoy me enough but the notion of jeans around the ankles is more than an old man can bear.
All the best,
Don
Hey Don,
You need to get off your high horse young man and open your eyes.. Deep down inside you are the younger generation to an older more disciplined set of folks. You elect to feel that way about the younger generation because you let it bother you. These kids now days are just reacting to the rapid change of technology as well as there environment. If you cant take advantage of that you will be left behind in the past and struggling to survive. The specific people you are talking about now days are not suppressed by healthy hard work and discipline. I assure you Mr. Mills that if you open your eyes you will see hard working young folks out there doing it right.
You know as well as I do appearance is not everything but it does have quite the influence on all.
Mack
Mack, when you live as long as some of us have of course we let it bother us. The fact that your generation struggle to read and write, abuse the technology mostly given to you by our generation, is definitely cause for alarm. Also Mack, one more thing, use spell check next time.
Thanks for stepping in there for me Moi. I’ve been a little tardy in addressing comments. I appreciate your sorting out young Mack there and thank you for stopping by to visit.
Regards,
Don
Don, I just found your blog. I love it. You and I are a match made i heaven. I am rapidly morphing into a grumpy old woman, and I wear that title as a badge of honour, Between you and shitmydadsays on twitter (which is pretty well the only site I visit on twitter), today is a happy day indeed!
Many thanks indeed mattiefromsydney,
I’m grateful for the kind words and glad you took the time to leave a comment. Morph away – you’ll be happy once the transformation is complete.
All the best,
Don
I really like your attitude. Are you married. Can we meet?
Thanks for visiting Carla,
I’m a widower and have been for some time. Unfortunately, I don’t get out much anymore and have long maintained that no woman will ever replace my dear departed Aggie. I appreciate the offer of a meeting though and hope that you’ll continue to visit.
All the best,
Don
you need to sit your old stinky but down because u dont know what your talking son you just mad that your about die and you have no life and you just walk around like you have something stuck up your but
Jesus Fresh.
I get so weary of these damned run-on comments full of half-assed notions and moronic insults. I normally try to find some positive but you’ve caught me in a bad mood.
So, for a change, I’ll try speaking to you young people in your own damned language. Here goes:
I think that turned out well.
All the best “fresh”
Don
Don,
Nice job. Your responses are excellent. I’m forty one and I’m going to rip off your picture for my facebook page. Sorry, I just think that you look like a stereotypical grouch and, try as I might, I haven’t yet reached the level of my appearance truly exhibiting my attitude. Keep up with the Aristotlean tradition of ripping the young and keep on tapping away.
Good Luck,
Ignutz Oofmeyer.
Many thanks Ignutz,
I like to think of myself as more of a “classical curmudgeon” that “stereotypical grouch” but both work.
I’d use caution with my photo lad. I’ve been told I have a face that can curdle milk.
All the best.
Don
I was deeply insulted by your attitude against (us) young folks, until I remembered that I am no longer considered to be amongst the young folks . Memory fades at times. Go gettem Ole Giezer! JM
Many thanks JM,
Memory does indeed fade. But you’ll want to really work on remembering that you are no longer a young person. There is nothing sadder than seeing a middle aged man riding a skateboard while under the delusion that he is still in his teens.
All the best and thanks for visiting.
Don
You are correct Don we must always be mindful to which ‘politically correct’ age group we belong. It bothers me to no end to see misguided teenie boppers with hand-stitched comforters draped across their laps enjoying the 27 cent senior’s coffee while playing bingo in a McDonald’s lobby on any given Wednesday evening. However, what really gripes my middle-aged ass is those kindergardners who insist on greeting me at Walmart. JM
Sir,
If I may steal a phrase from some of my fellow ‘young people’:
You are awesome. When I am old, I want to be you. I like to think I’m halfway there with the cynicism already and I’m only 21. Keep hanging in there.
Regards,
Adam.
When you are old Don will be six feet under. Still want to be him???
Many thanks Adam.
Be cautious not to peek too early. You want to leave some room for deepening anger and justified moral outrage as you get into your golden years as well.
Best regards,
Don
Hi Don,
I added you to my blogroll because your blog cracks me up! Thanks for the laughs and insights.
Franzi
Thank you Franzi.
I appreciate the kind words and the link. Hope to hear from you again.
All the best,
Don
The old ones who complain about today’s younger generation forget who raised it.
Thank you Hijuyo,
Sounds like damned buck passing to me. I don’t buy it for a second. I sure as hell didn’t raise the army of malingering mallrats that seem to be everywhere. And if I did, they’d all have crew cuts, decent pants and some respect for their elders.
Thanks for visiting.
Don
Love your blog!
Many thanks Kelsey.
All the best.
Don
This was my first visit, I linked from BartCop. I enjoyed your humor but it’s unfortunate you think in such a stereotypical manner. You’re probably thinking that I am a complaining young person, right?
I’ve seen your picture. I’d say we may be about the same age…I’ll be 71 in March (hope I haven’t insulted you!).
Now I’m gonna blow your mind. I have 3 ear pierces, dating back to the 80s, and got my first tattoo at age 66. And it isn’t one of those tiny little ones in a place no one will see. It’s on my forearm and is a 5 inch long swimming mermaid, drawn from a picture of a New England weather vane from the 19th century. It took me a long while to find the kind of mermaid I had in mind. The fun thing is that, given I’m old, with loose skin, I can make her swim! I am very happy with it. She’ll be with me always and I’d get another one if they weren’t so damned expensive. On the contrary, my husband, who was in the Navy and once a biker, has no tattoos or piercings.
I’m a grandmother and a retired technical professional (mainframe programmer and manager of programmers). I’ve had about 3 years of college but I hired and fired people with Master’s Degrees. I’m an amateur artist and crafter, a gardener, and have 5 cats, a husband and a house to care for. We own our home, pay our taxes, have a good credit rating, and vote. I am a politics junkie. I read a lot and write in blogs and occasionally a letter to the editor. I’m also quite frequently an old grouch, but who wouldn’t be, given what’s become of the country? I’m just a regular person in most ways…oh, except that I have smoked herb since 1972, except now it’s for arthritis pain and to help me sleep, rather than to party.
The only reason I’m telling you this is to explode a few myths. I would be willing to bet I share the wish with a lot of young people that you’d shake off the stereotypes. True, it might deprive you of subject matter but then you could have the great adventure of finding new subjects as it appears you’ve about beaten this “young people are awful” theme to death. You are amusing and have talent as a writer so I’d like to see some new topics next time I visit. Peace 😉
Many thanks Litebug,
Blowing my mind? Smoking herb? Exploding myths? Peace? All very disturbing notions, Litebug, but I appreciate your candor and your taking the time to write.
As for the suggestions….I think it’s prudent that I continue with the “young people are awful” theme for the time being. It may appear that I’ve beaten it to death but young people are wily and I can’t be sure that they just aren’t playing possum. An old man can’t be too careful these days.
Thanks very much for the comment.
Best regards.
Don
🙂 Hold your ground, Mr. Mills 🙂 And yes, Ms. Litebug would do well to remember than exceptions just prove the rule – the rule being – there’s something very wrong with the youth of today, if they want to walk around like perforated and painted billboards selling a bundle of unsorted, stray ideas under the guise of self-expression!
Regards,
Shafali.
Brilliant description Shafali perforated and painted billboard …….. You really need to caricature that. Lol.
IM OLD GREG!!!!!! DO YA LOVE ME!!!!!!!!
Clint,
I have no idea who Greg might be but I’m sure he holds you in high regard. You seem like a decent chap – just very excitable.
All the best.
Don
Le Roy HS 1955?
Thanks Ted but I’m afraid not.
All the best,
Don
I hope I grow old to be just like you 🙂
Many thanks Monica.
I appreciate your stopping in to visit with me.
Don
Have added you to my blog roll!! Absolutely love your posts!
Many thanks Jakeporter.
That’s damned kind of you. Appreciate it.
All the best,
Don
Mr. Mills,
Thank you for your wonderful posts:)
I am sure you must’ve seen those ads selling energy drinks/capsules. Though I’ve never had the nerve to try them, I don’t think that there could be a better energy drink than a blogpost done by you:)
Regards,
Shafali
Many thanks Shafali,
I appreciate your very kind words. It’s always a pleasure to hear from you.
Warm regards,
Don
My goodness! You totally rock. I found you via Isis the Goddess. And I am glad I did. Would you mind smacking around my 25 and 23 year old children? With your cane? On Youtube?
Wendy
Thank you longsmith,
I’d be happy to help out. Send them on over any time (except on bingo day, during the Wheel of Fortune or after dark). I’ll warm up the cane and be ready for them.
All the best,
Don
I suppose I’d be considered a young person myself, Don, but I share many of your views and I was ashamed to have many of the… youthful flaws you mentioned, such as bad table manners.
I’m proud to say, however, that I generally have older friends, can spell (relativally; I grew up in the south) properly, dislike rap (I preffer “oldies”, and not “1970s disco oldies”, either; stuff from your youth, Don) and generally treat “the elderly” with respect.
Keep up the work, good sir.
Many thanks Broski,
You sound like you have a decent head on your shoulders, lad. Thanks for visiting and for leaving me a comment. I appreciate both.
Keep treating your elders with respect and listening to decent music. Both will serve you well.
Don
Well, I would stay and write a great big uneducated rant full of misspelled swear words and butchered grammar but, as a young person, I’m far too busy taking drugs, getting piercings, listening to rap music, having sex, getting tattoos, not caring about my education and being impolite to everyone.
Regardzzz.
Many thanks Qualko,
I appreciate the restraint. And while I don’t approve of your behavior, commend your apparent ability to multi-task.
All the best,
Don
Greetings, Mr. Mills! Came across your blog last night and I must say, I love it!
Your wit (and rare bouts of true grumpiness) remind me so much of my own grandfather, may he rest in peace… I will always remember hearing him talk about the way things were back when.
I tend to find myself agreeing with you on most points, even though some of them are truly ironic in nature. For example, the topics of long hair, tattoos, and piercings. I am 25 with longer hair (albeit not as long as my younger brother… some days I want to take a pair of shears to his scalp! Get a job you hooligan!), two rings in my left ear (however, they are of a type that cannot be snagged. Picture the letter Q, but with a ball where the tail is. Perfect for my daughter to be fascinated with 🙂 ) and a tattoo on my left arm that I got in memory of my father. However, unlike a great many number of my generation, I have not been voluntarily unemployed since the age of 18, and I didn’t start working until then because I wanted to graduate high school with a higher GPA than the rest of my punk classmates. I succeeded, as well, graduating with an overall GPA of 3.8.
I truly agree with you about most topics such as the (c)rap music on television these days, and in particular the post about youngsters with words written on their rear ends. You aren’t in a music video for the latest one-hit-wonder rapper, you don’t need to have “Juicy” or “Angel” written across your butt!
My daughter is 6 months old now, and I only hope she will embody more than just a few of the behaviors that your parents instilled in you, and my mother did in me. I give you two thumbs up, Mr. Mills, and hope to continue reading your blog postings for many years to come.
Oh, and apologies, Mr. Mills, for the smiley face; I did not know the comment was going to reformat my simple smile with something that looks like a rejected circus clown! Carry on, good sir… carry on.
Many thanks, Ghost, for your very kind and thoughtful comment.
Despite your questionable hair length and earring you like a damned sensible young man. Any young person that demonstrates respect for their father and grandfather, and who is prepared to work hard to get what he wants is always going to be okay in my books.
Enjoy your daughter, Ghost. The time flies by quickly once they’re born and you’ll want to enjoy every minute. It sounds like you’ll make a fine father.
All the best lad and thank you for the comment. I truly appreciated hearing from you.
Best regards,
Don
500 comments! My sincere thanks to everyone who has taken the time to leave me a note. Reading and responding to your comments has been one of the great pleasures of writing this blog.
My thanks to you all. Now get the Hell of my Blog.
Sincerely,
Don