God Damned Young People and Their “Disorders” Drive Me Crazy!
The problem with young people today is that they all have “disorders.”
Back in my day, young people didn’t have “disorders.” When we got sick our illnesses were tangible damn it. Something you could see on an x-ray or confirm with a rectal thermometer. We got the grippe, scarlet fever or polio, not some airy-fairy pseudo-illness like “reactive attachment disorder” or “body dysmorphia.”
They pretty much have all the bases covered. Learning disorders, mood disorders, eating, anxiety and personality disorders – anything the young people can think up as an excuse for their snotty attitudes, lazy behavior and to keep them from having to go out and look for work.
It’s all a bunch of god damned malarkey as far as I’m concerned and gives me “pissed off old man syndrome.” They haven’t got anything wrong with them that couldn’t be fixed with a couple of electroshocks, a kick in the butt and few 12-hour shifts sorting entrails in an abattoir.
Seriously, what the Hell is “intermittent explosive disorder” anyway? To me it just sounds like a bad case of diarrhoea, a hot temper or both.
I don’t understand it. If one of the kids in my school behaved strangely we didn’t send them him off to a headshrinker and a pharmacologist for a label and a half dozen vials of pills – we just called him “Spaz”, lowered our expectations and moved on with life.
If I had ever come home and told my old mom that I couldn’t do my chores because I had “oppositional defiant disorder” and “Munchausen by proxy”, she would have beaten me bloody with a melon baller and been right to do so.
But, nowadays it seems that young people have to have some kind of personality disorder if they’re going to be “cool” and “hep.” It’s ridiculous. Last time I checked young people didn’t have personalities. They had bad attitudes and nerve and very little else.
If I had to diagnose, though, I’d have to say that young people today have a serious case of Associative Ignorant Assclown Disorder (AIAD). It’s an epidemic in fact so lock your doors, pull the shades and hide in the basement. Because based on what I’ve seen, there is no cure in sight.
They all have “disorders.” That’s the problem with young people today.