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God Damned Young People and Their “Disorders” Drive Me Crazy!

The problem with young people today is that they all have “disorders.”

Back in my day, young people didn’t have “disorders.” When we got sick our illnesses were tangible damn it. Something you could see on an x-ray or confirm with a rectal thermometer. We got the grippe, scarlet fever or polio, not some airy-fairy pseudo-illness like “reactive attachment disorder” or “body dysmorphia.”

They pretty much have all the bases covered. Learning disorders, mood disorders, eating, anxiety and personality disorders – anything the young people can think up as an excuse for their snotty attitudes, lazy behavior and to keep them from having to go out and look for work.

It’s all a bunch of god damned malarkey as far as I’m concerned and gives me “pissed off old man syndrome.” They haven’t got anything wrong with them that couldn’t be fixed with a couple of electroshocks, a kick in the butt and few 12-hour shifts sorting entrails in an abattoir.

Seriously, what the Hell is “intermittent explosive disorder” anyway? To me it just sounds like a bad case of diarrhoea, a hot temper or both.

I don’t understand it. If one of the kids in my school behaved strangely we didn’t send them him off to a headshrinker and a pharmacologist for a label and a half dozen vials of pills – we just called him “Spaz”, lowered our expectations and moved on with life.

If I had ever come home and told my old mom that I couldn’t do my chores because I had “oppositional defiant disorder” and “Munchausen by proxy”, she would have beaten me bloody with a melon baller and been right to do so.

But, nowadays it seems that young people have to have some kind of personality disorder if they’re going to be “cool” and “hep.” It’s ridiculous. Last time I checked young people didn’t have personalities. They had bad attitudes and nerve and very little else.

If I had to diagnose, though, I’d have to say that young people today have a serious case of Associative Ignorant Assclown Disorder (AIAD). It’s an epidemic in fact so lock your doors, pull the shades and hide in the basement. Because based on what I’ve seen, there is no cure in sight.

They all have “disorders.” That’s the problem with young people today.

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122 Comments leave one →
  1. 2:51 am

    Agreed, Don.

    We should just call them all “Village Idiots” like they did in the good old days. It was simple. It was understood. It was right.

    • 5:13 pm

      Thanks Alantru,

      Village idiot was one “label” we could all get behind but you didn’t need a whole barn full of them.

      I just don’t understand why every single young person has to have some kind of “problem” that needs to be named, diagnosed and treated. Perhaps I’m just and old coot with an anti-social behaviour disorder but it seems me to like we’ve gone off the deep end.


  2. Friar permalink
    2:53 am

    You grew up with a melon baller in your house? To be honest, I don’t know if I’ve ever even seen one.

    Maybe that’s the problem. We’ve drifted away from our roots and values. Back to an age, when people were more self-sufficient, and balled their own melons and such.

    Don’t think Mom ever clobbered me with any kitchen utensils. But she did throw a big ball of pizza dough at my head, once, when I was mouthing her off. (True story!)

    Didn’t hurt…but it sure made me smarten up.

    • 5:15 pm

      Thanks Friar,

      Pizza dough? That’s a new one to me. Moms sure know how to get your attention.

      There were a few of us kids around and my mom was always reaching for one kitchen utensil or another to clobber us with. The melon baller nasty but nothing topped the lemon reamer. She saved that one for only the most serious of offences. I had it a few times. Surprised I didn’t end up with post-traumatic stress disorder.

      Good to see you lad.


  3. lily permalink
    3:17 am

    Dear Mr Mills,

    Once again, an excellent Blog, Sir, and my sentiments exactly.

    Damned lazy, good-for-nothing young people and their “disorders” give me the pip too and if I come across another one with this syndrome or that syndrome, I will eat my hat.

    Apparently it is terribly fashionable these days to have Tourette’s Syndrome, which is uttering uncontrollable foul language and verbal abuse. Sounds like one big excuse to swear blue murder and generally be a frightfully obnoxious human being.

    Back in my day, if you behaved and spoke like a complete idiot, you would be treated as one and a little white van would arrive, you’d be strapped into a straight jacket and locked in a padded cell at the funny farm.

    Lily Fossil

    • 5:20 pm

      Always nice to see you Lily.

      You’re spot on as usually, Lily. Maybe it’s my narcissistic personality disorder speaking but we know a Hell of a lot more about life then these young folks ever will.

      Take care now,


    • Cole permalink
      5:52 am

      Lilly, I hope your aware if the neurological distinctions that are associated with “Tourettes Syndrome.” It’s a huge misconception with most people because they believe people with the disorder swear at random times which is not always the case. They usually have twitches the cursing is a when the syndrome is at a very advanced stage. People with mental disorders don’t like to hear that nonsense about being locked up. I have one called Autism Spectrum Disorder and i’m not overly proud of it but I manage. So please be careful when your trying to put down mental disordered patients, intact don’t put them down at all.

      Best regards,
      Another stupid teenager.

      • Cole permalink
        5:53 am

        Lilly, I hope your aware if the neurological dis-functions that are associated with “Tourettes Syndrome.” It’s a huge misconception with most people because they believe people with the disorder swear at random times which is not always the case. They usually have twitches the cursing is a when the syndrome is at a very advanced stage. People with mental disorders don’t like to hear that nonsense about being locked up. I have one called Autism Spectrum Disorder and i’m not overly proud of it but I manage. So please be careful when your trying to put down mental disordered patients, intact don’t put them down at all.

        Best regards,
        Another stupid teenager.

      • 7:34 pm

        I agree. I have clinical depression and have had to go home from school because I couldn’t stop sobbing, and the like. I am not “depressed because life sucks and parents suck.” It is a mental illness and as this person said, I am not proud of it but I manage. You are generalizing. I agree that there are teens who make up excuses with “illnesses” and “disorders,” but you really have no idea what you’re talking about.

    • Cole permalink
      5:56 am

      PS, please do excuse any grammatical errors, it’s two in the morning and I just can’t function at this time.

    • Jorden permalink
      6:54 pm

      Just so you know, most people with tourettes don’t cuss at all. It’s only uneducated morons that think people with tourettes walk around cussing all day. If youre going to talk about something, learn something on the subject.

  4. Gerard permalink
    4:30 am

    Don, are we becoming the same person?

    While I do believe that some disorders are very real and do exist, I strongly believe that tons of “disorders” are just names giving to certain BAD characteristics. For example, ADD and ADHD may very well be real disorders, but I’ve known way too many kids diagnosed with it. The cure for 99% of them? Don’t feed them 10 pounds of sugar a day and get them the hell away from the TV. That’ll fix up their “ADD” right quick. It’s just a fancy name for stupid, hyper kids with short attention spans.

    I also think it’s a way for pharmaceutical companies to make greater profits. They discover cures in pill-form for all these “disorders” and recommend that your kids take them to “calm down,” “focus,” etc. Kids get the chemicals, executives get the money.

    I actually really love psychology, but I think that the whole disorder thing is blown way out of proportion.

    Once again,

    • 5:27 pm

      Thanks for visiting Gerard,

      Damned good comment, lad. I’d have to agree. The majority of these kids don’t need anything more than a good diet, some decent parenting and healthy dose of common sense.

      We agree again, Gerard. (Wonder what happened to my oppositional defiant disorder?)

      Good to see you lad.

  5. 7:29 am

    When I was a kid, I had never heard of ADD or ADHD. Kids were just being kids. Some were more ornery than others.

    Now, it’s easier to label a kid as having a disorder and to medicate them than it is to parent them.

    • 5:30 pm

      Damn Straight Claire.

      It could be my seasonal affective disorder but I find the whole situation quite depressing and I worry about these damned young people.


    • downcastmysoul permalink
      6:43 pm

      Sending kids to a shrink to be medicated is just a copout for lazy parents.

    • Anonymous permalink
      1:59 am

      I agree fully. When I was a kid, I had ear infections, sore throats, etc. Not these illnesses usually associated with people who had actually worked hard for a living a good number of years.
      I know this 20y/o who can no longer do hairstyling because of the tendon issues in her wrists. Yet, I have seen her play PSP for hours…or another aged 24 who got off 2 weeks from work with “the worst sciatica the doctor had ever seen”. She was up to running up and down stairs, walking their mastiff, etc. Bad behavior is not an illness.

  6. 9:02 am

    know what drives me crazy, don? why is it called obsessive compulsive disorder when someone is constantly cleaning and putting things in order?

    by the way, your family owned a melon baller when you were a kid? you must have lived in the wealthy part of town!

    • 7:04 pm

      Thanks Nonnie,

      That’s a good point Nonnie. But don’t blame the people that came up with it. Chances are they were suffering from a misnomer disorder.

      And, yes, we had a melon baller. But we weren’t from the wealthy part of town. It was a family treasure – first belonged to my great great grandmother Elizabeth Mills. Quite an implement. Scooped up tasty melon balls and could raise a welt too.

      All the best


  7. Sander permalink
    9:08 am

    Meh, I blame the adults. Not our fault they feel the need to go out and label, medicate and give therapy to everything that isn’t nailed down.

    • 7:08 pm

      Good to see you Sander.

      And a fair point too. A lot of “adults” are still young people in my book.


      • Sherry permalink
        11:39 pm

        Thanks…I’m 50 and still a child at heart! I did spank my kids..notice I said “spank” not beat. My kids knew where the line was and not to cross it. My grandkids are also not immune. The distinction between spanking and beating has become so blurred that most are afraid to correct their young ones..its very sad. And might I add, ridiculous.
        If you had the guts to have them, discipline them. They will thank you for it….eventually.
        I love this website, and your comments make my day!

  8. justsomebloke permalink
    10:57 am

    I own a mellon baller too, purely for physical violence purposes in case some F******G old fart questions my F*****G Touretts syndrome affliction

    • 7:11 pm

      Thanks Justsomebloke,

      I can assure that we old farts are far too busy to fuss over your tourettes. We have bigger fish to fry what with the young people walking on our lawns and the price of Bran Flakes going through the roof. Sounds like classic paranoid personality disorder to me. I’d have that looked at son.

      All the best.


  9. 11:39 am

    Well, their grandparents were hepped up on LSD and ‘ludes, and, “better living through chemistry” became the mantra of their world view. Today, so many pharmacologists and pill-pushing industries need human test subjects; who better than children and their passive, pliant egg-and-sperm-donor “parents”?

    • 1:35 am

      Nice to see you Joan of Argghh,

      A wonderful comment. And that’s all I will say about that.

      Damned good of you to drop in.


  10. 2:38 pm

    MY GOD!

    What a crabby old fart you are! Of course, I’m less than half your age, and agree with every word you said there. I listen to my friends and their children bemoan the horrors of ADHD and the outburst bullsh**, and I watch my son and his wife with their son, and I think, if I had pulled this crap, my mother would have beaten me within an inch of my life!
    What the hell happened to the concept of “Spare the rod, spoil the child?!?”
    I recently inherited a foster daughter, someone who’s life has been spent as the center of her mother’s attention, who’s every misdeed has been justifiable in some way or another. Well, she came to me, and let me tell you- a few quick cracks to the ass, and we don’t have a problem with hitting other kids in school. A few quick cracks to the ass, and we don’t have any problem getting our homework done in a reasonable time. A few quick cracks to the ass, and we don’t have half the problem with attitude and constant chattering and mouthing off that we used to have.

    That’s what’s really wrong with young people today- not enough cracks to the ass, and too much medication for their whiney assed “disorders.”

    Damned kids.

    • 4:35 pm

      Has anyone called Children’s Aid yet??

      • 10:18 pm

        I wouldn’t sweat it. Most kids are in foster care on account of having it just too darn good before. Nothing that a few, or a lot, of cracks to the ass can’t fix apparently.

      • 4:42 pm

        You’d be surprised how FEW cracks to the ass it takes when one is serious about it, and explains why it is happening, and that it is the consequence of action A which she has been called on before.

        The critter hasn’t had to have a lot of it, and after the first three spankings, when she realized that, once she had been warned the second time about something, that the third step was a number of cracks to the ass- and that I, unlike people in her past, meant it and was consistent about it- I don’t have to warn her more than twice, anymore. About anything.

        Say what you will, but a quick crack (with one’s hand, and to the ass) will get a kid’s attention quicker than any trip to the “time out” chair.

  11. 4:07 pm


    oops….you probably don’t like the acronym thing either.


  12. 5:37 pm

    The great thing about a melon baller is that, when not being used to mete out corporal punishment, it can be used as an emergency ice cream scoop.

    The same goes for the rectal thermometer.

  13. 6:15 pm


    You shouldn’t worry about the kids of today so much. I think God will soon teach them a lesson.

    • 1:42 am

      Thanks Ahmnodt,

      You know something the rest of us don’t? You sound awfully confident there son. The end of the world coming? This is gonna play hell with my acute stress disorder

  14. 10:14 pm

    Thank goodness! I was wondering where I had left my melon baller Don. I think I might be getting senile too. Not that you’re senile or anything, or would know if you were. Any burrs on that melon baller, perchance?

    Hope you’re doing okay. Good to chat with you again, not-so-young fella.

    • 1:45 am

      Thanks RBG…

      No burrs on my melon baller, lad. Not a one.

      Good talking to you as well, son.


  15. sensico permalink
    10:19 pm

    I agree 100%. I really don’t understand where all these disorders come from. Instead of being forced to pay taxes or asked to donate to help these people with their “disorders”, I recommend we put them on an island with no food and see how quickly they are able to overcome their “disorders” to save their asses!

  16. 1:52 am

    Nice to see you Sensico.

    That’s a pretty hard line approach young lady. Deserted island! Hell, I would have just been happy if they would just stop whining on daytime television.

    You’re a tough one…and that’s for damned sure.

    All the best


  17. lily permalink
    2:21 am

    Dear Mr Mills,

    All these disorders have a common denominator called G.A.S.B (Gross Attention Seeking Behaviour) and I humbly apologise in advance for using a dreaded acronym especially if they make you as cranky as they do me.

    My remedy for Anorexia /Bulimia is a one-way ticket to Daifur, Sudan, Africa to do some humanitarian work with young people with real issues with starvation.

    Lily Fossil

    • 11:16 pm

      Thank you Lily,

      Always nice to have you bring some common sense to an issue. You’re a damned wise woman, Lily, and it’s a pleasure to know you.


  18. 3:45 am

    It does seem like there are a lot of new and odd disorders springing up everywhere doesn’t it. I know I have a bad case of blogging addiction.

    • 11:17 pm

      Nice to see you Eric. Enjoy the blogging addiction while you can. If you have a new baby on the way, something tells me that’s about to change.

      Best regards,


  19. 9:59 am

    “I don’t understand it. If one of the kids in my school behaved strangely we didn’t send them him off to a headshrinker and a pharmacologist for a label and a half dozen vials of pills – we just called him “Spaz”, lowered our expectations and moved on with life.”

    I laughed out loud for about a minute after reading this. This is a true article, Donald. Really enjoyed reading it. I just hope that maybe what we see is more of a fad in a cycle of trends and behaviors of parents and their children, and maybe someday will get back to our senses and stop glorifying bad tempers and moodiness.

    • 11:18 pm

      Many thanks for the kind words Braden P.

      Hope to see you again, lad. Thanks for stopping in and visiting.


  20. 2:33 pm

    Now Donald ..take it easy dont want you bustin a blood vessel or passin out…couldnt agree more….kids today just need a swift kick in the seat…cant pay attention in school – Leather belt!!!!…..being rude to parent or teacher – Leather Belt!!!!…..dont want to rake the leave -Leather Belt!! its how i came up and has helped my in my 17 yrs in this mans Navy…thanks for keeping it honest…Zman sends

    • 11:20 pm

      Thanks zmanowner.

      That’s one choppy comment lad but I’m guessing that might be a “Navy thing.”

      Good to hear from you son.


  21. downcastmysoul permalink
    6:34 pm

    All these disorders are just excuses for the pharma companies to throw pills down the gullets of young people who then become even “stupider” than they were before. It’s all a scam. God made everyone different from everyone else and making people to conform to narrower and narrower ideals of “normal” is killing our society and turning young people into drones. All the piercings (despite the fact I want one…I am a hypocrite I guess) and the TATTOOS are not really attempts to stand out, but, in THIS generation, to conform. Since I am old, and otherwise sort of conservative, a tongue piercing on me would make me stand out ,though…heheheh. Going back to read the comments now…

    • 11:25 pm

      God damn it, downcastmysoul, sometimes you confound me.

      You start off wonderfully in your comment and then the next thing I know you’re knocking conformity we’re back to tongue piercing.

      You have me scratching my head sometimes downcastmysoul.

      Still, always nice to hear from you, lass.


      • downcastmysoul permalink
        12:59 am

        Now you know how my parents felt.

  22. Jumble permalink
    10:23 pm

    Seems the old ones are village idiots and can never be taken to seriously and the young ones just have a the larger vocab thanks to the old shrinks that labelled the idiots and the young ones in the first place. Oh well, apples not far from…what was that again?

    • 11:31 pm

      Welcome Jumble.

      Now that’s a damned interesting comment.

      In my day, if someone had made a comment like that we would have assumed they were drunk or had fallen off their bike a lot when they were a kid.

      But today, you repeat something like that comment in more than one forum and people will be lining up to tell you you’ve got the worst case of premenstrual dysphoric disorder and dependent personality disorder they’ve ever seen.

      Thanks Jumble. Hope to see you again lad.

      Best regards,


  23. 1:19 am

    I have something for you on my blog. Enjoy.

  24. 4:38 am

    sorry I’ve been away.I seemed to have caught that “workmybuttofftopaythebills..disorder…I would break that down so the young-uns could understand ,but that would only make you angry, so it will be our secret…..good to see you Don ….~Dave

    • 12:18 pm

      Good to see you again too Dave.

      Too bad we don’t see more of that disorder. That’s one mental health diagnosis I can get behind.

      All the best


  25. AffluentDogma permalink
    7:30 am

    As I said before, I really like your style. It’s funny, but serious enough to emphasize the problems of today. Nevertheless, I have to notice that disorders were present even back in your day. The only difference is that now, the medicine has most of them named and categorized. Some of those aforementioned disorders are the result of parental ineptitude, while some are the byproduct of the ‘modern way of living’.
    Back in your day, as you so nicely put it, if it couldn’t be seen on x-ray, it wasn’t considered an illness. If something was wrong with a person still, a lobotomy or a nice shock therapy were the solution.
    So, even though medicine today may be overdoing it a bit in some aspects, I’m rather happy I’m not living ‘back in your day’.

    • 12:20 pm

      Thanks Affluent Dogma,

      Always good to hear your point of view. But to be clear – we didn’t jump right to shock therapy and lobotomy. We usually tried a kick in the pants first. Amazing how often that did the trick.

      Thanks for visiting.


  26. 10:52 am

    This whole concept is geniusly hilarious! I do find myself wondering whether or not you’re actually an old man though….

  27. 3:14 pm

    Donald, great blog! Children today are not held accountable for their behavior. Like you said, there are so many labels thrown around today that it is easier for parents to accept a diagnosis then to actually change the way that they parent. Parents are constantly manipulated by their child’s behavior in order for the child to get what they want and the parents find it easier to give in.

    • 2:08 pm

      Your damned right Oppositional defiant disorder. Those damned young people know all of the angles. It’s time someone set them straight.

      Nice of you to stop in for a visit,


  28. Bookboy permalink
    3:23 pm

    Most of these disorders,are but reassignments of our own limitations not having been dealt with in a conscious constructive manner. When you hear Attention Deficit Disorder read Deficient Parental Attention. Classic case of projection. We are what we see. Fox news,CNN news, text message, cell phone, blue tooth, newspaper article edited down to fit one one page, see USA today. Us, People,InStyle magazines. Attention Deficit is all around us, we are…sorry I have to answer the phone.

    • 2:12 pm

      Thanks for stopping in Bookboy.

      Not sure I understand what “reassignments of our own limitations not having been dealt with in a conscious constructive manner” means but that’s not your issue, it’s my “Limited Education Disorder. Not my fault, obviously.

      Nice to see you lad. Hope to hear from you again.


  29. 8:39 pm

    Please accept my apologies for being away for so long, Mr. Mills.

    It’s not entirely my fault that I’ve been ignoring your excellent blog, just that my psychiatrist diagnosed me as having the worst case of New Variant CBA that he’d ever seen.

    This extremely common condition has only recently been identified as a clinically accepted disorder, and was previously though to be bone idleness (CBA =Can’t Be Arsed).

    • 2:16 pm

      Not to worry, Nobbly.

      Sorry to hear about the CBA. It sounds serious lad. You better book off work for a few months and put your feet up. We don’t want to make it worse by putting you under any kind of stress.

      All the best


      • 4:52 pm

        Fear not, Don.

        Although the idea of a few months off work is rather appealing, I have sacked that old quack of a trick cyclist, and am now treating the condition myself, with an old cure of my Dad’s….

        Liberal doses of ‘Fukkum Powders’.

        They work a treat, and have set me up nicely to deal with all sorts of shirkers, malingerers and local goverment employees.

  30. 10:01 pm

    Don…disorders? I believe the term is “excuses”.

    Off the subject a bit…Today I attened my aunt’s funeral. Whatever happened to respect for the dead? We use to pull clear off of the road when we saw a funeral procession coming. Now, self-centered, “I’m so damn important” people don’t even give ya the right away. Prehaps, they all suffered from DISORDERS? What’s your thoughts on this? Would love to see you write a post about it.

    Stupid shit-for-brain young’ens! They need a good whalloping.

    • 2:19 pm

      Nice to see you again Trailerparkbarbie,

      My condolences on the passing of your Aunt.

      I can’t believe people don’t have the common decency to pull over for a funeral procession. It makes me furious and you are absolutely right when you chalk it up to people thinking they are more damned important than everyone else. That kind of attitude is killing this great nation.

      I’ll write about it for sure…

      Again, my condolences on your loss.


  31. strider permalink
    3:45 am

    I have an observation. Nothing has really changed. As you say, you used to call misfits “spaz”, lowered your expectations, and moved on with life. Today we give spazzes (is that a word?) specific diagnoses, and pop ’em full of pills; which leads everyone else to lower their expectations, and finally moving on with life. See? Nothing has really changed at all. Except that the label gives the spaz a sense of meaning and identity, so they can feel it’s OK if everyone else applies a lower standard to them. It’s sad, actually. Really sad.

  32. strider permalink
    4:17 am

    You mau be interested in an article I wrote last year: , called “New Ways of Going Insane”.

    • 2:20 pm

      Thanks for the comment, Strider, and the link. I’ll be sure to give it a read, lad.

      All the best,


  33. 6:21 am

    Beating kids with various kitchen utensils seems to be a favorite home remedy in your family Don and I think its time we brought this “homeopathic” therapy back. Nice work.

  34. 9:18 am

    LOSTL! You sound like my mum!

    She says that i have a “Disorder”, but the teachers at my school just said i was “slow”. Im not sure what they mean, but mum says that i dont pay attention to my surroundings and i get in to trouble!

    You two would get along swimmingly! LOSTL!


    • 2:28 pm

      Thanks for visiting Bob,

      Send my regards to your poor mother, Bob. I suspect she’s had a tough time of it. Now, nothing wrong with being “slow” son and better you know that now while there is still time to adjust your aspirations and avoid disappointment further down the road.

      Lots of honest, decent jobs out there for a young man like a strong back and good work ethic.

      Hope to see you again lad. And all the best.


      • 2:26 am

        Thank you sir!

        I aspire to be a great actor! ive been training almost my entire life for a persual in the arts! As i mentioned on my blob site that i DID try for the army but they had rejected me due to my eye sight. I could have performed for my fellow freedom fighters to keep their spirits up!

        All the best to you, Mr Don!


  35. 8:03 pm

    Thank you, Don. She and you would have gotten along like peas and carrots. I wish she had the opportunity to read your blog. I can just see her now, sitting and reading, nodding her head and frequently saying, “Hell, yes! He’s right. Damn kids today don’t appreciate anybody or anything!!!! I’ll give ’em a “disorder” to talk about!”

    Keep up the great writing, my new best friend.

  36. 12:04 pm

    “Last time I checked young people didn’t have personalities. They had bad attitudes and nerve and very little else.” – Don

    Damn right. I did not evolve a personality until I turned 30, and I still feel that was a bit cheeky.

    I have been reading this blog for a while, I might not agree with all(though many) of your opinions, but I have to applaud your wit and eloquence. The quote above is a work of art.

  37. Kim in Alaska permalink
    4:49 pm

    “we just called him “Spaz”, lowered our expectations and moved on with life.”

    That was hysterical!! Thanks for the laugh.

  38. Bill permalink
    6:10 am

    Dear Mr Mills,

    I couldn’t agree more. When we had a “disorder”, it was damn well something you could see — a misplaced axe slicing into your calf, a chainsaw bucking back across your forehead, or a fishhook in your earlobe, not some “affective, defective, mood swing”. If I’d even had a mood swing (and had the nerve to say so out loud), my old dad would have boxed my ears and sent me out to chop cordwood until my mood didn’t swing any more.


  39. YellowRoses610 permalink
    8:24 pm

    Dear Mister Mills,

    Associative Ignorant Assclown Disorder I think I the treatment for that should be a whack over the head with my foil or saber,that would teach them.

    But in all seriousness you are correct, these things are over diagnosed which is aggravating particularly to people who actually have disorders, of which there are some. it’s one thing to realize you have problems and to seek treatment wile working with the people around you and still pulling your own weight and taking responsibility for ones self, it’s an another to de diagnosed with something and use it an excuse not to do anything.


    Rose, with flip-the-hell-out-and-drop-kick-rude-little-bastards-disorder.

  40. Mystsong permalink
    10:33 pm

    I find this particular rant of your rather offensive. Yes there are a lot of people like you described. But there are plenty of young people out there with real mental problems.

    In fact, I myself am one of them. I have chronic depression, possibly type two bipolar according to my doctor. I’ve been in therapy and on medication for four years and my goal is to be able to function in society without the medication by the time I graduate form college. I’ve come very close to attempting to commit suicide on more than one occasion, and only the love and support of my friends and family and realizing what that would do to them has stopped me. But I’m getting better. And I’m working on doing my part to reach out to others in the same boat and help them get their lives turned around.

    My younger brother has a learning disability that makes reading and writing a real struggle for him. Does that stop him for reading before he goes to bed at night? Hell no. And I’m damn proud of the bugger for it. He may drive me crazy, but at least we have a love of good literature in common, though he’s still a bit young to be introduced to some of my favorites. Being dyslexic does not make him stupid or lazy or less of a person.

    I’m not telling you this because I want your sympathy, or because I’m incapable of dealing with harsh words. I’ve gotten stronger than that. I’m telling you all this because I honestly think you are wrong and this is why. Psychological disorders aren’t something to be taken lightly or made fun of.

    My apologies for stealing your rant with one of my own, by the way.

    • 11:07 pm

      If Mr. Mills will forgive me for jumping to his defence, I do not see his rant as an attempt to mock people with real, psychological disorders. I’ve seen people I love almost destroyed by severe depression. I rather think it’s a stab at this inflation of “disorders” that’s spreading like a wildfire(I’m under the impression that the US has “progressed” the most in this field, but trust me, we got it here too). It seems that ANY problem a person has nowadays can be attributed to a “disorder”, and too often it’s just making excuses and letting the pharmaceutical industry haul in the cash from getting half the population on Ritalin.

      Hope you persevere in your struggle with depression, and your brother with his dyslexia. Don’t give in, you both sound like fighters.


      • 12:02 am

        Nicely said, TJ. Many thanks.


        • 12:13 am

          Glad to know I could be of assistance. I realize some of your your rants could be taken as offensive, but people(not just the young ones, alas) nowadays don’t seem to get the use of overstatement as a way to drive the point home.

          Never figured you for a cruel old bastard, just someone who stands up for what he god damn believes in, and there’s too few of your kind around anymore.

          – TJ

  41. momromp permalink
    4:41 am

    Jay Mohr (a comedian) once said, “in my day, we didn’t have ADHD. We had stupid”. I really wanted to write that quote on a piece of paper and put it on a wall in my classroom when I taught, but I think it would have been poorly received.

  42. BLEK. permalink
    2:01 am

    Hi. I was diagnosed with a schizoid personality disorder. It’s not cool, it’s lame, it destroyed my self-confidence and I feel like a total loser. I am wrong person and I can’t do anything about it, this disorder can’t be cured.

  43. kate permalink
    3:44 pm

    Hi Don! I want to say I love your blog! It’s hilarious and oh-so-true about us “young people”. 🙂 Also I heard this commercial the other day about yet another new disorder. They’re calling it “shift work disorder” and apparently, you have it if you work odd hours and because of it you don’t get enough sleep because you can’t go to bed at the same time. The symptoms include feeling tired every day and unable to concentrate and do your work. They’re doing this whole study on it. Can you believe this shit? Now, I understand a lot of disorders. This isn’t one of them. This is called “I chose a job which requires me to come in at irregular times therefore I know my sleep pattern will change”. If something is a choice, it’s not a disorder. And if you’re having trouble sleeping, that’s why God made sleeping pills.

  44. evangelinehannah permalink
    5:28 pm

    “I don’t understand it. If one of the kids in my school behaved strangely we didn’t send them him off to a headshrinker and a pharmacologist for a label and a half dozen vials of pills – we just called him “Spaz”, lowered our expectations and moved on with life. ”

    This had me laughing for a good ten minutes. I’m only fifteen years old, Mr. Mills, but I find you hilariously funny. I appreciate the points you make on the youth today and am irritated with you on most of these topics. I live comfortably, without assimilating into strange teen trends.

  45. exile_island permalink
    4:10 am

    My favorite disorder for young people today is L.A.D also known as Lazy Ass Disorder.

  46. imaginecreation permalink
    4:21 am

    Makes you wonder how kids even survived prior to prescription meds for disorders and depression. Geez!

  47. 12:57 am

    Some people are just ignorant. I wonder who I am talking about. You have no idea what you are talking about. Perhaps if your generation hadn’t injected our food with chemicals we wouldn’t have these “disorders.”

    If you want to talk to another old fart that has a different opinion let me know.

    • 1:45 am

      Thank you Snowflake.

      I fully agree that some people are ignorant. However, if you’re not sure who you’re talking about I’d suggest you see a damned doctor. You might have prosopagnosia or some other form of recognition disorder.

      And sorry for injecting your food with chemicals but it seemed like a good idea at the time. It saved us having to buy multi-vitamins and kept you all nice and placid on those long summer car trips.

      All the best,


  48. Cole permalink
    5:41 am

    Mr. Mills,
    This makes so much sense, I basically have Autism Spectrum Disorder as an excuse!? A highly irrelevant statement that was. It’s not fun living with it but it really makes you different from the typical teenage crowd. In simpler terms, my mind is quite odd making me nothing like the average teenager. So Mr. Mills please understand this is no excuse for gods sake I got a neurological examination.

    Best regards,

    • Sedate Me permalink
      2:05 pm

      Autism Spectrum Disorder? Does that mean I can shine a light into your head and it will produce a rainbow effect?

  49. xxbreexx permalink
    3:22 pm

    Oh my freaking God, you are so funny. And the funniest thing is that I have never met a teenager, not even in San Francisco, who is like this 🙂

  50. Kirsten Holsomback permalink
    1:34 am

    Your generalizations give me a vague nausea, and your ignorance is just really irritating. Sure you veil it with a bit of dry humor, but overall? While some teenagers make excuses for being assholes, some of the disorders seen in others are very real and it makes me slightly sick that someone your age would write such distasteful comments. Being aged and ‘experienced’ absolutely doesn’t make you any smarter nor any better than others and I’m sick of crotchety old men using the argument of ‘I’m old and have seen more years than you so shut your mouth and listen to my bitching’ in order to spew ignorant, blind bitterness that just reflects stupidity. Stop stereotyping and generalizing, it just makes you appear foolish. “Pissed off old man syndrome”? Idiotic, really.
    -Another whiny, shitty “young person”

    • Sedate Me permalink
      2:17 pm

      Oh, here we go. Vague Nausea Syndrome.

      This is a condition where a young person’s inability to understand the wisdom of their elders results in a small brain injury that causes a mild illness akin to motion sickness. Other symptoms include: irritation, incessant whining, or a desire to abuse the elderly for giving something they can’t fathom or appreciate.

      The treatment options? Bottle after bottle of over-hyped, over-priced, prescription drugs with minimal effectiveness and a flotilla of side-effects.

      • Kirsten Holsomback permalink
        12:06 am

        I’m sorry, but I don’t think generalizations or stereotyping are very wise at all. Age doesn’t equal wisdom- sure, age gives you experience, but experience alone doesn’t make you ‘wise.’ It really helps if you aren’t ignorant and blindly angry. I’m not whining, I’m pointing out that Donald is ignorant and quick to generalize. I can fathom what he’s saying perfectly well, I just don’t agree with it, or your implication that I should appreciate ignorance just because it comes from someone older than me.

      • Kirsten Holsomback permalink
        12:10 am

        Also, I appreciate the wisdom of elders who are actually intelligent and don’t feel that their age entitles them to generalize and dismiss others and make angry, unintelligent comments just because they’ve been alive decades longer than me.

        • Sedate Me permalink
          2:38 pm

          In general (heh-heh), attributing wisdom based upon actual merit is a good idea. There is an endless supply of brain dead idiots walking around with undeserved respect for their cognitive function. However, there are certain things you pick up with age. (For example, reading the 3rd & 5th tags associated with a title and understanding the context they provide.)

          When you’re as old as Mr Mills is, you realize that your time is running very short. You just can’t afford to analyze each individual in a group, thus broad generalizations will have to do. It also explains some of the anger. If I was as old as Mr Mills, I’d be a much angrier person than I already am.

          Scary thought, eh, Mr Mills?

    • 12:22 am

      Thank you Kirsten,

      “I’m sick of crotchety old men using the argument of ‘I’m old and have seen more years than you so shut your mouth and listen to my bitching’ in order to spew ignorant, blind bitterness that just reflects stupidity”

      Sounds like a damned shameful stereotype to me. At minimum, a callous generalization.

      I expect you’ll want to apologize.

      All the best and thanks for stopping in.


    • Marlene permalink
      6:57 pm

      thank you. im a young person and this man is really irritating me with his misjudged and prejudiced remarks that are so untrue!

  51. littlemissdamaged permalink
    1:57 am

    I have to say I disagree with you there. I have many mental illnesses due to horrific abuse when I was younger, and I don’t think it’s fair to say that I’m just a village idiot. I’m not. I am perfectly capable of feelings and perfectly capable of logical and rational thought. My abuser called me fat, so I stopped eating to get thin. My abuser said I was ugly. I believed I was ugly and now find it hard to believe I’m pretty. It is a logical step. If someone hasn’t been affected by abuse, surely that’s more serious? I don’t know if you’re just saying all of this because you believe it, or because, like Jeremy Clarkson, you revel in public outcry, but what you’re saying is wrong. In this case anyway. For some.

  52. Jake permalink
    2:53 am

    This is a touchy topic and there is a very fine line between what really is a disorder and what is just a product of spoon feeding someone so that they can not do anything themselves and need to be continually spoon fed to survive. There is a a difference between having Dyslexia and not being a good reader in grade two so the teacher read it to you and now in high school you cannot read a children’s novel. I cannot stand high school because of those people who can not do anything. Doctors, psychiatrists and psychologists all say I think at a university students level and have Aspergers Syndrome, this is what I say to them “If I am a mental person with Aspergers who was also born half deaf is thinking and working at a university level than every other kid should be a rocket scientist by now”

    I would say I agree with your thoughts more than I disagree just my thoughts.

  53. Parker permalink
    6:45 am

    I agree with you Don I’m only 16 and I don’t act like the normal teen population but I do have to say that I have OCD and ADHD but I’m not complaining, I understand your views and wish I could be off meds and live a normal life, oh well. By the way I love your blog and yes I’m actually a well behaved young man. And I respect my elders. Thanks for making me laugh.

  54. JudyGreenEyes permalink
    4:58 am

    When we kids complained about having some kind of disorder, my mom would chuckle and say we just had a fart stuck crosswise. She used to do minor surgery on us when we needed it, could even set a broken bone if she had to, so we believed her when she said we weren’t sick.The woman had my respect in that area. Never had a melon baller though. She had this kitchen knife that looked like a machete. She’d whack that melon into pieces we could handle, then throw it out the kitchen door and harpoon it to the pear tree to let the juice drain off. Can’t do anything like that today, people would sue for getting some kind of disorder over it..

  55. 2:37 am


    When did kids start talking about the amount of pills they took a week. I recently volunteered at a Boy Scout Camp and I could’nt believe the behavior I saw. Kids screaming everywhere they went and swearing at the adult parents who dared stand in their way. When has gratefulness been scrubbed out of the dictionary?

  56. VMP permalink
    12:07 pm

    I completely agree with you, Don.

    When I was a kid, I was diagnosed with Asperger’s and I really took it to heart. I made myself believe that I couldn’t understand my peers and became reclusive, hording sticks and red rocks (which I now understand were bits of brick). Just the thought of the lunch hour made me want to crawl back into my mother’s uterus. At least, there I could be alone.

    I was put into E.S.L. in kindergarten because my coddling teachers thought my “Asperger’s” was making i difficult for me to learn English and interact with my peers. However, Don, this again was my fault because I never set things straight. I didn’t stay in E.S.L. because it felt like a safer learning environment, I stayed because we got stickers every Friday. What kid, Asperger’s or not, would pass up that opportunity?!

    Thankfully, I’m the product of two foreigners.

    Anytime I refused to go to a party of a fellow classmate because large gatherings made me nervous, my old man gave me the belt and dragged me there. Anytime I fell into one of my “preoccupations” I got the belt. And he was right to it!

    My parents never let my Aperger’s get the better of me and I believe these parents, belt in hand, coud do more for their children than these darned medications.

  57. Anonymous permalink
    1:03 am

    My dad must have been a doctor….if we pulled that crap… dad would give us an injection with HS size 12……cured me every time !

  58. 12:52 am

    Reblogged this on GRUMPY'S WACKY WORLD : Life as viewed through smudged and grimy bifocals. and commented:
    Here’s another Don Mills classic that had me in stiches. Don makes Grumpy seem like Tinkerball, which was his boyhood dog’s name, despite Grumpy’s insistence that the mutt be called “Lassie”. Enjoy this midweek respite and do look at some of Don’s other posts -they are hilarious.
    Have a great hump day.

  59. 8:21 am

    Don, you’re dead on.
    Phantom Diagnostics (as I have so christened this field of “medicine”) seems to me to be the latest way to provide young people with excuses for their failure to live up to certain (reasonable) expectations.
    Prime example: My 18 year old brother’s “syndrome” (which, I can assure you, is as phantasmal as they come) apparently justifies the fact that he doesn’t know how to pour his own cereal or fold a T-shirt. Based on all available evidence, my mother’s train of thought in regard to this crisis in arrested development: “Poor guy, he has a disorder, let’s buy him hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of drumming equipment and let him bang on said drums inside the house through all the hours of every afternoon.”

    Looking forward to reading more of your stuff!!! And cackling out loud to the computer.

    – Young Person

  60. 10:55 pm

    I have autism why don’t you look it up wrinkled freaks and shove your humped bum inwards cause now you see there is such thing as mental disorder you barsards Ball theyliing bagokns of hell that’s what all these asses and assess of coments are!

  61. Chink permalink
    7:59 am

    I’ll have to disagree. I would say that some disorders can’t be blamed on messed-up personality, like dyslexia or DID. I agree with some of your points of view, though.

  62. Sean Buchanan permalink
    4:56 pm

    It’s cunts like you that feed the stigma surrounding mental illnesses. Someone who you call “ignorant” may have anxiety. Someone you may call “dour-faced” could have crippling depression. Have an open mind; these disorders do exist and are VERY common.


  1. Ceasar Rian: What’s Wrong With the Young People of Today « Adventures In Writing
  2. Is Don Mills Dead? – Featured E – Magazine

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