God Damned Urinating Teenagers Make Me Livid
The problem with young people today is that they spend too much time in the bathroom.
When I was a boy you got 15 minutes of toilet time a week and you were expected to ration it, value it and use it wisely.
But these young people today live in the god damned washroom. They have phones and televisions in there. They take their meals in there for Christ’s sake.
They spend forever in the bathroom. Showering for hours on end and then rubbing themselves with all manner of gels, ointments and questionable lotions. If I had ever spent more than 4 minutes in the shower my old mom would have hauled me out naked wrung me dry with her bare hands.
They say it’s about hygiene but that’s just hogwash. It’s vanity and lack of common sense. In my day young people smelled like bologna sandwiches, pipe tobacco and hard work.
And what the Hell is with them peeing randomly throughout the day? Nothing but lazy bladders and poor self control if you ask me. I urinated when I was told to and was thankful I had a pot to piss in. I peed at 7:45 each morning and was done with it. If I needed to go again later I crossed my legs, gritted my teeth and rode it out ‘til morning.
I’ll tell you one thing. I can guarantee you that the Chinese aren’t going to the washroom every time they feel a tingle. They’re working damn it. Working at taking over the global economy while we pop our pimples and urinate indiscriminately. And that’s a god damned shame.
They spend too much time in the bathroom. That’s what’s wrong with young people today.