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God Damned Mumbling Teenagers Make Me Furious

The problem with young people today is that they mumble.

When I was a boy, speaking was a privilege not a right. And when I was allowed to form words I was expected to make sure they were clearly articulated, audible and tinged with a certain amount of fear.

If I ever mumbled to my old Dad he’d have beaten me with his niblick and I’d have thanked him for the thrashing. And when I thanked him – he’d have heard me clearly. Because I wouldn’t have mumbled!

But these young people today – they’re all mumblers or worse.

You ask a young person a simple question like “what the hell are you doing standing on my lawn?” and they just shrug their shoulders, shuffle their feet and mutter incoherently into their goddamned hoodies.

They won’t look at you when they talk and they sound like they have a mouth full of pine straw, bees wax and chew. It’s infuriating and disrespectful.

I sure as Hell can’t understand what they are saying. It’s like they only use consonants when they speak. It’s all just grunts and moans and vacant stares.

I’m telling you, if something isn’t done we are going to be in big trouble. These damned young folks are setting evolution back a million years.

At this rate it won’t be long before we’re nothing but a planet of heavily pierced Neanderthals incapable of forming sentences and communicating with a series of snorts, heavy sighs and rude hand gestures.

And when that day comes, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

They mumble. That’s what’s wrong with young people today.

134 Comments leave one →
  1. 8:27 pm

    My pet peeve is the “English PhD’s” who can’t string together 10 consecutive words without mumbling “Know what I’m saying?”. They use it so often, it’s almost like a god-damned punctuation mark.

    “Like, I was talkin to the dude nomesane? and like he says “aite”, nomesane? and then we be chillin nomesane?”

    No, I DON’T know what you’re sayin’.

    And by the way: there’s something called a VOCABULARY.

    Maybe you should look into GETTING one.

    • 3:44 pm

      HAHAHa, I know exactly what you’re saying! Unfortunately, I do not know what the people you mentioned are saying. It’s almost as if they’re aware they make no sense. They must be hoping you can clarify for them what they are saying, since they obviously don’t know WTF they are talking about.

      I’m only 32 and I agree 100% with this article and your comment.

    • 6:46 pm

      Thanks Friar, nice to see you lad. Great comment. Couldn’t agree more.

      And welcome Jeremiah. Thanks for stopping in to visit with an old man. Hope to see you again soon, son.

  2. 9:29 pm

    There’s only one thing to say about that, Don:-

    “Hmmm mmmburrmmmbl hrrrph!”

  3. 10:41 pm

    wow. How generationalist. Not every young person is the way you describe.

    • 4:51 am

      Another hilarious post that hits too close to home for me. My son is a mumbler. I am always telling him to speak clearly. He had me believing I was going deaf for a while. I finally figured out it’s not me it’s him. 😉

    • Art permalink
      6:00 pm

      No, but the number is growing.

    • 6:50 pm

      Hello Jeanette and welcome.

      I’ve looked into this closely Jeanette and stand by my assertion that every single young person on the entire planet mumbles. I believe there was some research published in the Reader’s Digest a few years back. So, really, I’m more of nothingbutthefactualist.

      I’ll try to dig it up.

      Thanks for stopping in. I appreciate your taking the time to express your views.


      And, Art, thanks for your comment too. Thanks for weighing in!

  4. 11:35 pm

    Another venerable post from the Methuselah of mirth, the geriatric joke slinger and Geritol ™ swigging clown prince of the sexagenarian sect, Donald Mills.

    Thanks for clearing up the fact that they’re mumbling… I thought they were speaking in tongues.

  5. robinaltman permalink
    11:46 pm

    I read this out loud to my sons because I am constantly yelling at them for mumbling. I won’t answer a mumbled question. I cracked up as I read your blog. They sat stone faced. I wonder why?

    • 6:53 pm

      Thanks Robinaltman. Nice to see you again.

      You’re completely right, of course, not to answer a mumbled question. Keep after those lads! They’ll come around eventually

      Best regards


  6. oldpeopleareweird permalink
    12:02 am

    Now that’s pretty true.
    Here’s a normal situation in the morning before school:

    Mom: Rise and shine!
    Randy: Mmmmpphhhhh
    Mom: Did you sleep well?
    Randy: Mmmmhh… I guess.
    Mom: You guess?
    Randy: I dunno.
    Mom: Do you have all of your things?
    Randy: Yeahiguess…
    Mom: What???
    Randy: YES!
    Mom: OK! You don’t need to talk to me in that tone!
    Randy: Mmh, sorry…

    Or at least something along those lines…
    Check out my blog about my teenage life here:

    • 6:58 pm

      God damn it Randy Bush!

      Don’t go soft on me boy. Your my damned foil! I need you lad.

      And, by the way, stop dropping your god damned links.

      Take care,


  7. youdontneedtoknow permalink
    12:58 am

    you sir are and asshole and don’t deserve respect i think u should just crawl in a hole and die, do the world a favor, and stop wasting energy and air

    • das h permalink
      7:16 am

      So Mr Mills is and(?) asshole. Mate, you are just proving the old todger’s point.

    • 7:03 pm

      Welcome to the site youdontneedtoknow,

      You sound upset, son. Damned upset. I’m concerned.

      Hope everything’s okay at home. Are you being bullied at school? Best gal gone and left you? No date for the prom? Acne acting up bad? Dad won’t buy you a puppy? What is it that’s troublin’ you boy?

      Jesus, lad, I know it’s tough..but calling an old man names won’t make you feel better in the long run. The guilt and shame of it will haunt you. Trust me.


      p.s. Das h – I haven’t been called a todger before. I kind of like it. Thanks

      • Shafali permalink
        6:15 am

        What is a todger? (Or should it be “who is a todger?”)

        I guess I’ve found out:
        The other link that “define:todger” search in Google turns up is definitely not for non-teenagers (teenagers might find it useful for the piercing option!) But please don’t check it out or Mr. Mills might banish me from his blog.

        I am not convinced about the likability quotient of the said term.


      • 5:28 am

        Ahh Don you crack me up. I believe it is one of three things, a) yes something is seriously wrong with the “kid”, b) your statements hit too close to home so they lashed out, or c) just a p’d off kid angry at the world who is too cowardly to say such offensive things in person, so hides behind the anonymity that the internet provides him.
        Also, I enjoyed the fact (and irony) that he first showed you the respect of calling you, ‘sir’, but then completed the statement by stating that his belief is that you do not deserve respect. Apparently not only a mumbler a little yellow around the gills, but also confused by words bigger than 6 letters 😀

        • Buck permalink
          2:08 am

          Apparently you are not in the know. ‘Sir’ is frequently used as a sign of disrespect. I cringe every time some fast food worker calls me sir.

    • Miranda permalink
      4:52 am

      You obviously don’t understand the point of this blog, its for humour (right mr.mills?) so please, get it through your thick hip-hop infested, cuss ridden, overgelled scalp that no really cares what the hell your saying if all you chose to present is incorrect grammer, misspelled words, and useless swearwords. Please, find something better to do other than toss cuss words like confetti…perhaps, just leave and give us back that oxygen your hogging.

      • Meow permalink
        3:17 pm

        Oh the irony. Not sure if trolling or not….

  8. 1:02 am

    Don ,

    A good solid whap up side their head is what is needed here , I tried it with my kids and knocked the bubble gum right out of their mouths….on a side note they are now afraid to wear a hoodie ( they think they can see me coming now ) …………two birds with one stone , eh Don?……~Dave

    • 7:09 pm

      I’m a firm believer in multi-tasking David. Sounds like you’ve got a good system in place. Keep it up lad!

  9. 1:34 am

    You bring up an intersting point, Mr. Mills, but you left out a very important part of the equation–back in my day we weren’t allowed to misunderstand what people said no matter how they talked or we’d get a rap across our knuckles for being rude. Nahmeen? Nahmsane? lol

  10. 2:34 am

    Wow youdontneedtoknow, this is called humor. Why in my day people just didn’t talk like that! What is this world coming to. I blame it all on those darn Ipods. 🙂

    • 7:15 pm

      Thank you Catherine. I admit that I’m still a little shaken by the boy’s comments but I suspect he will cool down soon enough. Just a little hormonal bump on the road of adolescence.

      And those damned Ipods drive me to distraction!

      Thanks again and take care.


      • Buck permalink
        2:11 am

        What should shake you is that you are inciting real emotion in real people. You sir are a troll. I half suspect you to be one of these damned young people you keep bitching about, because I refuse to believe someone so old could be so practiced at a young man’s game.

  11. 3:50 am

    I’m a great believer in the old adage, ‘children should be seen and not heard.’ – my definition of a child being anyone under 25yr old 😉

    • 7:22 pm

      Thanks Duncanr – You better watch out. Some angry young person’s likely to start calling you nasty names. They take these kinds of serious statements…well, seriously.

      Good job you lads are doing over at the Mad Hatter!


    • deviantwolf permalink
      2:49 am

      Yo that’s messed up dude. Like I respect that everyone has an opinion and everyone has the freedom of speech. And that sounds pretty reasonable right? That everyone should be able to express themselves freely right? Oh wait! Except children (according to u). Why do we have any less rights than u? We are human too, we have feelings and opinions and a voice. Shouldn’t we be able to express them? Don’t we deserve the same opportunity to be listened to? Why are our opinions less important? Just because we are young? Well what if we are right? If we are right we should be listened to right? And if we are not then why don’t u talk with us? Debate with us? NOT FIGHT! don’t mistake debate with fight. Just tell UR reasoning and see if the “child” has a valid response. I think everyone should be listened to no matter the age, race, religion or gender

      • 7:58 am

        quite right – I agree with everything you say

        [the smiley at the end of my comment that evoked your response was meant to convey to readers that I was speaking ‘tongue-in-cheek for humorous effect and was not intended to be taken seriously]

  12. 3:53 am

    P.S. Note to ‘youdontneedtoknow’ – the smiley in the preceding post was especially for you 😆

  13. Charles permalink
    4:16 am

    Sir…you use off God damning is despicable!!! God isn’t the damner so mind your manners and grow up. Of course your probably an atheist and don’t believe in God so that gives you the right to use him as your source as the damner. God is the blesser and no a child abuser, as His child if he were to damn me then I’d call child services and have Him jailed. Stop being an IDIOT!!!

    • Sally permalink
      7:10 pm


      My, some of you do take things seriously, don’t you?

    • Miranda permalink
      4:54 am

      Yeah, sure…care to explain armageddon?

  14. Friar permalink
    4:35 am

    Notice how @youdontneedtoknow also doesn’t know how to use punctuation.

    Back in my day…we used things like commas and periods. And we were damn grateful to have them. The semi-colon didnt’ get invented till 1968.

    What IS IT….with today’s kids?

  15. Chris permalink
    4:41 am

    You know, we’re not all mumblers. Don’t base your judgments of young people on the actions of a few. Each generation is always complaining about, “the kids today.” Music is a perfect example: from Elvis, to Marilyn Manson, the “kids today” have been listening to godless, sinful music.

    • 8:07 pm

      And don’t forget that heathen cannibal Artie Shaw!

      Thanks Chris. I try to be balanced, I really do.

      Appreciate the input.


  16. youdontneedtoknow permalink
    5:56 am

    Blah blah blah back in my day….that’s just annoying, its not your day or age anymore u need to get over it, and don’t worry about my punctuation, grammar Nazi.

    Was fun talking to you middle-aged/old folk

    i ❤ you

    • 8:04 pm

      God Damn it you even “write mumble”

      Blah blah blah…

      I like you boy! I really do. Sure you’re all angst ridden and sullen but your spunky and you make me laugh.

      It was fun talking with you too. Don’t be a stranger

      All the best


    • deviantwolf permalink
      2:56 am

      For real right?! I mean like why do old people compare us to them. I know it was tough back then and it sucks to be them but it’s not like that any more so why stay in theast? And geez is this guy serious? “Write mumble”? Really? That’s not even a thing and it’s a terrible comeback.

  17. MnM permalink
    8:55 am

    So the world is ending because things change over time. Can you please list a number of things/reasons the world was better back in “that time” just for the sole fact that you were beaten to death to make sure spoke correctly? Good god…
    Is..this post serious? I Was taking it all as a joke until I started reading the comments.
    If you ask me, despite the grammar “problem” (that I will point out not -all- have), the world is in a much better situation that it used to be with close minded, aggressive, racist, sexist, and ignorant time of your day.

    • 12:08 am

      Hello MnM,

      Thanks for the comment and I’m happy to list a few ways in which life was better “back in my day”

      This is a partial list and just of the snowy top of an old codger’s noggin but it will give you a flavour:

      1) Both television and opinions were in black and white
      2) As children, my friends and I were free to play outside without walkie talkies, microchips or fear. My friend Spanky and the rest of us little rascals often put on plays in the barn and got into harmless hijinks.
      3) Men wore ties to baseball games
      4) There weren’t quite as many assualt weapons in the hands of teens
      5) People were, on average, about a hundred pounds lighter.

      There’s a million more MnM but my shows are coming on soon and I’m tired to typing.


  18. 9:06 am

    LOL! I guess today we mumble and when we become crabby old farts, young people would probably flip us off!

    I’ll try to ease up on the mumbling!

    • 8:10 pm

      Thanks Archie. Appreciate your cooperation on the mumbling issue.

      And I’d say your prediction is pretty much guaranteed.

      All the best


  19. Paul permalink
    9:40 am

    Wow.. what an ageist thread.

  20. Navneet permalink
    9:57 am

    It’s quite easy to categorise everyone by the standards set by a few. I believe while everyone here goes about typing out their angst at the young folk, they forget that they did things in their youth which weren’t appreciated by their parents.
    Life is about change and lets face it, we’re seeing a rather accelerated pace of change.

    Sure, I’d like to understand what someone says but then don’t nail them to the cross for it. The very youngsters you talk about also bring about the innovations in science and technology that allows you to use the internet to connect with your grandkids half way across the world.

    It’s easy to chastise. Make the difference by correcting them, that’s what we need.

    P.S: I’m 22 and not all of us are like that. 🙂

    • 7:24 pm

      Hi Navneet,

      I must confess that I used to do things that weren’t appreciated by my parents.

      Like having them cremated.

      They always said that was what they wanted, and I was eager to please.

      How the hell was I supposed to know that they were meant to be dead first?

      That caused a few harsh words, and a not inconsiderable amount of mumbling, I can tell you!

      But once I’d beaten out the flames, and let them out of the somewhat charred garden shed, they saw the funny side.

  21. Friar permalink
    11:54 am

    My God, look at how intense and serious some of us are getting with this post.

    Come on, people. LIGHTEN UP! 😉

    You just keep on writing the way you are, Donald. You’re all right.

  22. robinaltman permalink
    12:08 pm

    Don, for the record, you can delete comments, if you’d like. (You probably know this already.) I’m not saying you should. . .but if you wanted to. . .you could just delete comments of nit wits who don’t get that you’re joking around. Then you could keep the general light hearted atmosphere you enjoy (if you do), and eventually they will get tired of being deleted and go bug someone else. Just a thought.

    • Sally permalink
      7:14 pm

      I’ll bet he knows, given that he’s got to approve them all before they’re posted.

      You know what? It adds to the humor and essentially proves his point. 😉

    • 8:15 pm

      Thanks for the note Robinaltman,

      While some of the comments are a little disrespectful and can be a tad heavy handed and rude, I think they actually contribute to a lighthearted atmosphere.

      I’m not about to take any comment personally and, honestly, they make for some entertaining reading.



      • 9:22 pm

        And welcome Sally. Nice to have you over for a visit.

        And, yes, you summed things up nicely. Thanks

  23. 12:21 pm

    This is a breath of fresh air in the stagnant blogosphere of self-improvement and 24/7 seriousness…

    (dropped over here courtesy of Friar)

    Maybe “the young people today” will eventually figure out that this is funny – thanks for a great laugh today, I’ll be back.


    • 6:02 pm

      I think the young people are taking things way too seriously. “Lighten up, young ones”. It’s all in the name of fun. I’ll bet there are blogs out there poking fun at old folks like me. I think I’ll go find some so I can get a good laugh.

    • 8:18 pm

      Thanks Brett Legree and welcome.

      You can’t please everyone and I sure don’t mind the the occaisonal cross-generational scrap.


  24. sensico permalink
    2:38 pm

    Ha! I sooo get yelled at for mumbling all the time. I actually don’t think I’m mumbling but that people are too old to hear me. Poor hearing is whats whats wrong with old people today 😛

    • 7:58 pm

      Senisco! Those are fighting words…

      How dare you make sweeping and inaccurate generalizations about old people. Frankly, I’m shocked!


  25. irishclover7 permalink
    4:59 pm

    I like your blog, it’s nice! I will be back often!

    Btw, I am a teenager and I dont mumble. I speak loud and clear cause I have things to say and I want to make sure they are heard, no matter what it is.

    Visit my blog @

    If you like my blog, grab my blog widget or button, give it a review thru StumbleUpon, or add it to your delicious bookmarking list, all available on my blog homepage.

    *** I am in need of guest bloggers. I am having Debate Blogs and need guest bloggers to write their opinions on the topic. The first debate topic is Gay Rights. If you would like to be a guest blogger for any of the debate topics please contact me. Your response to the topics will be posted in the debate blog. I will give you more information once contacted. Thank you. ***

    • 9:28 pm

      Thanks Irishclover…this is almost like the lunch I had today. Tasty but it smelled slightly of Spam.

      Anyhow, let’s forget that. Thanks for the comment. I’ll consider the Gay Rights debate but don’t think it’s a good fit for me. If you ever consider debating the relative merits of Andy Griffith though – I’m in.

      • irishclover7 permalink
        12:27 am

        Lol, Im not spaming ya. Im just trying to get debaters while also commenting. Sounds kinda rude that I would do that through your blog, but I’m kinda desperate. Lol, sorry 😀

        • 12:29 am

          Not a problem Irish, not a problem.

          Got a variety of points of view here, that’s for damn sure, and a handful that like to argue as well. Best of luck

  26. Rob permalink
    5:31 pm

    HAHA, i’m a young man and I found this pretty funny. It reminds me of my grandfather. But on behalf of my generation, let me speak up for ya gramps….


    • 7:55 pm

      Thanks Rob. Glad your happy. Well done, lad.

      Maybe you could have a chat with “youdontneedtoknow”. The boy sounds like he could use a friend and you might be a positive influence.

      Thanks for coming in Rob. Pass my regards on to your grandfather.

  27. kyle permalink
    5:51 pm

    We don’t mumble you have a hearing disorder. Most likely Presbycusis, which is hearing caused by old age. Get a hearing screening or buy hearing aids and you will see the young people are not chronic mumblers. Any audiologist or speech pathologist will tell you the same.

    • 7:51 pm

      I’m not sure what religion has to do with this Kyle but I’m not Presbycusis, I’m Anglican.

      And I hear just fine.

      Thanks for stopping in and visiting with me.


      • deviantwolf permalink
        3:02 am

        Please tell me that when u responded to this u were joking cuz right now I’m really starting to question whether or not u should be in an old person home

  28. rick1223 permalink
    5:56 pm

    get over your shit old man times they are a changin so deal with it or die already

    • 7:45 pm

      Well now my prunes are really getting steamed.

      God damn it little Ricky why’d you have to go and start cussing and being direspectful? Old men have feeling too you know. I get a bruise if I sit too fast…I’m a damned sensitive man Little Ricky and you’ve hurt me to the quick.

      And what the hell do yo mean times are changing? I wasn’t told about this. That’s outrageous.

      Take care son and please, leave the potty words out next time you come to see me.

      Best regards


      • 9:53 pm


        Didn’t that young singing chap with the adenoid problem sing something about “the times they are a’changing”?

        Now… what was his name? Dillon, I think it was… yeah – Jim Dillon!

        I don’t mind the times changing; as long as it isn’t the times of the buses – that can be very confusing.

  29. 6:01 pm


    What’s that you say? 😉

  30. Art permalink
    6:05 pm

    It has been my experiance that Boysouts are more likely to look you in the eye and speak more clearly. Same applies for girlscouts but wit 4 sons and no daughters my experiance with the young ladies is more limited.

  31. Sally permalink
    7:06 pm

    Oh my goodness. I think I love you. “Stumbled upon” your blog just now. Added to favorites, will check in for my daily laugh!

    Will you marry me? 🙂

    • 12:20 am

      Holy Moses!

      Thanks for the kind words and tempting offer but my heart is still with my dear departed wife, Aggie. She was a damn good woman and she really knew how to steep my tea.

      Happy to meet you though, Sally, and look forward to seeing you again.


  32. Jenny permalink
    8:17 pm

    As a 22 year old waitress, I have to agree with you. Teenagers come in either alone or with their parents and proceed to mumble their order to me. They don’t look up at me, they don’t enunciate and they do not project. I’ve actually put in the wrong order because when I try to read it back to them they cut me off! It’s ridiculous!

    There is some hope though. I don’t count myself as much but I will be a certified high school English teacher in less than a year. Believe me, there will be no mumbling in my classroom.

    • 12:23 am

      Good on you Jenny. God damned great stuff.

      Working, getting an education and an admirable career choice.

      Thank you for stopping in and visiting. It restores and old man’s faith.


  33. maliaann permalink
    8:40 pm

    Maybe a good mouth-washing with some really strong soap will help with all the bad words and mumbling? Just a suggestion. Worked for my mom.

  34. Izzy permalink
    8:57 pm

    People can speak however they want. I’ll stop mumbling if you get of the internet.

    • 9:32 pm

      Call that mumbling?

      I made out every word of it – bloody amateur mumblers!

      Now, when I was a lad, we could mumble properly; not like you lot.

      • 9:43 pm

        Thanks for chipping in NobblySan. Need an extra backhand around here and couldn’t think of a better man for the job!

      • Izzy permalink
        7:28 pm

        Very well I’ll try again.

  35. blackbart permalink
    9:30 pm

    It is human nature that we often fear or hate what we do not understand. To this day I can not always relate to people younger to me. However I do try. And yes it is hard to understand people that speak differently or with slang. But that is human evolution in action. You see many generations have historically spoken with variations of the English language. This has always been a factor. If you want to understand then take interest in the next generation by opening up communications. Keep your predigest to yourself for it is poison to society. But I mean that with respect to you. I would not like for others to think that you were just a grumpy old man that has nothing better to do than sit and blog trash about other people. Spend that time getting your generation to stop being corrupt in government. Thats what I blog about with others. Bring back the constitution as the law of the land and fight the patriot act!

    26yr old Single father of two, 6yr girl, 7yr girl
    My children are good for the most part. but I have to remind myself that they are still learning and when they do something wrong it is because they don’t understand the scope of their actions or the impact on others. It takes time. And sometimes I want to pull my hair out when they don’t eat over the table to be perfectly honest. But that is just part of being young and inexperienced. If we could know everything at birth maybe we wouldn’t upset you when we spoke differently. Keep in mind that you might expect a response sooner than they can give you one and people mumble while they think. All in all not all young people have bad manners or no respect but I agree some do.

    “Carry on and spread wisdom not contempt for others, for you have seen more and done more then the youth of the world.” Tom Rignot

    Stumbled it!!!

    • 9:35 pm

      Very eloquent.

      A wide vocabulary is always useful.

      But it does help if it includes the word ‘satire’.

    • Friar permalink
      3:08 am

      What is “predigest”? 🙂

  36. silentorchestra permalink
    10:51 pm

    “If I ever mumbled to my old Dad he’d have beaten me with his niblick and I’d have thanked him for the thrashing. And when I thanked him – he’d have heard me clearly. Because I wouldn’t have mumbled!”

    I can not stop laughing at this! Classic.

  37. 12:04 am

    ha ha … good one !!! and I would say that clearly instead of mumbling 😛

  38. Cade Nebeker permalink
    3:30 am

    I am one of those “Goddamned Adolescents!” and let me tell you no matter how much you bitch, society is a changing my old friend! We are taking over! SO enjoy it while it lasts

    • 8:33 pm

      Hi there Cade,

      Taking over? Jesus Christ…it’s exactly what I feared. You’re gonna make me get a pierced nose and a nipple ring aren’t you?

      God help us all!



      • Anonymous permalink
        5:37 am

        no way bro tattoo free, piercing free, in the business prospective, i am alive in the here and now, i am taking over, so oldy just side back and let me do my job and mumble at it

      • Cade Nebeker permalink
        5:40 am

        no piercing, free tattoo free, just stating its obvious all you can do is bitch, and the best part is it will not stop the mumblers chief, so my best advice is to stop whining you old codger.

    • 3:44 pm

      So Cade when you all take over are you going to institute “term limits”- you know like “Don’t trust anyone over thirty”. Are you going to put the aging “youngsters” out on an ice floe so you don’t have the problem of old codgers in your Utopian (dystopian) society? Or will you all of a sudden “see the light” and realize Don was onto something all along?

  39. 10:10 am


    That offer open to anyone or just Donald ? 😆

  40. 10:10 am

    P.S. You rich ? 😉

  41. 10:47 am

    I’ve got me own teeth !!!

  42. 10:47 am

    You any objection to a wooden leg?

  43. 1:29 pm

    “At this rate it won’t be long before we’re nothing but a planet of heavily pierced Neanderthals incapable of forming sentences and communicating with a series of snorts, heavy sighs and rude hand gestures.”

    The modern day westerner resembles the Greek barbarian of whom the Ancients said he destroys that which he doesn’t understand. Not sure it’s just a generational thing though 😛

  44. 5:32 pm

    It’s like they’re speaking an alien language or something, I feel like saying to them “Speak properly or shut the hell up!!!”

  45. 7:35 pm

    As a recent addition to the 30-49 age bracket, I have also begun to notice myself using phrases my parents (and grandparents) would have used, despite having sworn on a stack of Alternative Press’s that I would never be like that.

    Every goddamned light in the house. The thermostat needs to be set at 68 degress. The very real threat of Communist Russia consumes my waking thoughts. And most teenagers seem vaguely menacing and enunciate with all the clarity of a young Michael Stipe.

    Excellent blog, sir.

    • 8:25 pm

      Thanks Capitalist Lion Tamer,

      Great comment but I wouldn’t expect anything less from you! I’d encourage all you young folks to visit Mr. CLT. He’s a damn smart lad and funny too boot.

      All the best CLT and thanks for stopping in to visit

  46. stephi permalink
    11:48 pm

    I’ve been reading this blog for a couple of days now and I find it very entertaining. Especially this entry, because, now that I’m 23, I’ve begun to notice these quirks of youth. When I was in high school I mumbled… I was shy or constantly sleepy maybe…
    Now that I’m older, sometimes I see other college students mumble, maybe it has a little bit to do with insecurity :-/
    At my work, sometimes anybody will mumble even old people. I work as a barista at a tea shop people will mumble orders or questions, that can be kind of annoying. I have a second job as a security guard and that can be even more infuriating… because drunk people mumble, old people mumble, kids, students, everybody mumbles. I think you should make a post about how spoiled teenagers are a problem too. When I do security work, teenagers are the most indignant, self righteous individuals (this includes yuppies etc). They think they can do whatever they want and they will argue with you no matter what. There have been too many scenarios where I must tell someone “No, you cannot go this way its restricted…” and they argue or get all pissy… its kinda funny though because there’s no point in arguing… they just think whining will get them what they want. I enjoy watching them continue walking through a restricted area only to be turned away by cops. HAHA…

  47. herbs permalink
    7:12 am

    there’s bigger problems in the world than mumbling teens. there’s better things to do with your time than blog about mumbling teens.

    • 1:07 pm

      Thanks herbs.

      If, by bigger problems than mumbling, you’re referring to slouching, skateboarding and nipple piercing, I couldn’t agree more. Be assured, I’m damn mad about those things too.

      All the best,


  48. 4:30 pm

    very refreshing blog. you make us remember to be mindful of our actions and attitude.

  49. 9:20 pm

    Mr. Mills, you make me miss my dad. You sound just like him. Do you watch Lawrence Welk yet?

  50. Iskandar B Dzulkarnain permalink
    10:23 pm

    I’m a 14 year old, and probably mumble as well, but I can’t stand when my classmates do. It’s like a whole new language they are speaking and I’m left out. Like this, the only takeaway I get from almost every project is a vengeful regret that I have of not slapping my groupmates. *sigh*

  51. badblog permalink
    11:30 pm

    ok so i can deal with your blog about mumbling. BUT it almost always is shyness or insecurity. Then u start talking about skateboarding…WTH is wrong with skating? u took it to far old man.
    ps sorry for my bad english.
    bye from germany ^^

  52. Arabella permalink
    1:51 am

    This is why I refuse to speak to anyone under 25 over the phone. I can’t understand a damn thing they’re saying.

  53. JordanM permalink
    9:26 pm

    To be honest, i mumble to my mother, but otherwise im extreemly social, point this at the school system for taking out grammer as a whole. but what you said is true. especially the “God Damned” part.

  54. 4:39 pm

    This blog is hilarious! I’m a substitute teacher and mumbling is the only thing I hear all day long.

  55. LYK permalink
    5:36 pm

    When you were a boy we were all living in treetops.

    It’s different now. Freedom of speech is allowed for ALL humans.

  56. Robert Wayne permalink
    4:36 am

    It’s true about the mumbling with these kids nowadays. Today I went to McDonald’s to get a couple of cheeseburgers and I swear the kid behind the window was talking like he had a mouth full of cotton. I don’t know if these kids have forgotten how to talk due to the fact that all they do is play with those texting machines or what, but it sure is annoying for those of us who have to deal with them.

  57. Meow permalink
    3:23 pm

    LOL, true about today’s generation. Who effin’ raised us up? 😀

  58. 2:58 pm

    They all mumble because they have earrings (that should be on their ears but won’t fit because there’s no room left) stuck through their tongues and lips. I’d mumble too if my mouth was full.

  59. 3:55 am

    I’m a middle school teacher– the Land of Walking Mumblers. They either won’t speak up or talk so loud they’re screaming in each others faces. I’ve been near flipping a desk out of mumble mouth frustration! Is that so bad, flip a desk and shout “Speak Up Damn It!” Is it?

  60. Rhio2k permalink
    10:39 am

    Mumbling has become more and more prevalent among young black males (and dykes, who emulate males). You can’t understand a word they say because they slur their speech, and speak VERY quietly. Here’s an example. I have a co-worker who has yet to file his taxes, and I suggested he do them online since he has less than 2 days to file. He goes “Nahacnbduntet”. I went “Uh…huh?” He responds louder “Nah, man, I can’t be doin’ that. I got kids. I need a pro.” Apparently, he thought I understood him the first time, but needed clarification as to WHY he didn’t trust filing online. I guess it’s cool to sound like you’re drunk when you speak these days.

  61. deviantwolf permalink
    2:33 am

    I’m a teenager and I mumble. It ain’t a crime. And the reason we do it is there is no reason to yell or talk loud. It’s also cuz we just not comfortable around u. When we with our friends we will talk loud AF! Ya know? When we with our friends it’s LIT AF! We curse, we tease each other, we do dumb stuff, why? Cuz were teenagers! So when we mumble it’s more cuz u ain’t our friend, so we can’t treat u like a friend. And we’re rebellious so we’re gonna have a laid back attitude were not gonna be like em old fashioned kids sayin sir and ma’am. We’re actually holdIng back when we mumble cuz if u puss us off somehow we most likely have a bad ass insult to reply but since UR an adult we do have some respect and so we mumble in order to bite our tongue and NOT Say the remark.

  62. Anonymous permalink
    8:29 pm

    I hate mumbled voice mail messages. SPEAK UP! Get the sh***t out of your mouth! Called a company back and screamed at another call rep! People and their stupid technology and “departments”. Too many idiot people doing the same stupid job. Just like our government! The people are supposed to be professionals at my insurance company. Bunch of losers! They told me to email them photos of my house from all sides! Screw you! I don’t know how to email a picture! Come out to my house and take your own pictures!


  1. Room For Laughters » God Damned Mumbling Teenagers Make Me Furious
  2. Do Not Mumble, yes you old man! « Decency Is Not A Luxury
  3. Ceasar Rian: What’s Wrong With the Young People of Today « Adventures In Writing

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