Damned Young People and their Summer Vacations Make Me Furious
Summer will soon be upon us and that means that once again gaggles of young people will be paroled from the education system and flood out into the streets to engage in eight weeks of mindless vandalism, unbridled hooliganism and senior-endangering acts of random skateboarding.
For the life of me, I have no idea what these young people have done to earn the right to two months of unadulterated indolence. It’s not like they’ve been dodging artillery shells on the front lines in Dunkirk for Christ’s sake. Far from it. As far as I can see their school days consist of little more than sitting on their asses, forming cliques, questioning authority and slowly eroding the principles of evolution – hardly the stuff you require an extended vacation to recover from.
When I was a lad we got the summer off school but it was no damned “vacation.” We were put to work before our dunce caps hit the floor or the lead in our pencils had cooled. I spent my first day of summer vacation getting a suntan while I tarred the roof – and that was just as a reward for not being held back a grade. After that, it was off to the trenches and 14-hours a day of pig bollocking, jute winding and rat catching.
But these days? Young people won’t consider work. They need the summer to “decompress” and have some “down time” to recharge their batteries, top up their bong water and complain that they’re bored and have nothing to do. It’s a dangerous proposition, damn it, and bad for America. You don’t see the commie kids taking the summer months off to snooze, booze and get tattoos. They’re all busy doing mandatory military service, working on beet farms and learning how to disassemble field rifles.
If young people have no intention of working, I see no reason to close schools at all. After all, if you’re an illiterate stump come the end of the June, 8-weeks of ice-lollies, doodlejumping and waterparks isn’t likely to add to your chances of becoming a contributing member of society. And while we’re at it, let’s scrap this 9 a.m. – 3 p.m. nonsense and force youngsters into a full day of education. Have them report in at 5 a.m. and then work until dusk with only one 20-minute break at midday to wipe the coal dust from their eyes, slug back a cup of joe and take a quick draw on an unfiltered cigarette.
It’s no damned wonder that America is dangling on the precipice of complete collapse – kids today are being raised to believe that a work ethic consists of 10 months of bland indifference followed by 2 months of reckless irresponsibility. Well I say enough! The time has come to end this summer vacation nonsense once and for all and lock our young people up in schools until they smarten up or grow up – whichever comes first.