Attention All Staff!
I’m getting sick and tired of the second rate customer service we seniors receive at the hands of inarticulate, incompetent and inattentive young people.
In response, I’ve printed off a dozen of copies of the following flier and respectfully requested that local businesses post them in their damned staff rooms.
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The Problem with Young People Today Is... 
I hate it when they skimp on coffee refills or when they charge the full price for a refill. I also hate it when they play “Connect the Dots’ with their acne.
Thank you Ahmnodt,
I’m afraid that customer service has gone the way of the pig-footed bandicoot, the Cuban spider monkey and the Labrador duck. It used to be that a “warm up” for your coffee was guaranteed, free of charge and arrived shortly after your second sip. Now, staff just want you to make your purchase, leave a generous tip and get the hell out as fast as possible.
All the best,
Don
I blame health and safety laws. It’s preventing the really stupid people from dying out naturally.
Whoops. Did I just say that?
You see, with that you bring up the subject of the different categories of ‘stupid people’.
Category 1) Stupid people who are so stupid that they can be manipulated with a number of health and safety laws
Category 2) The REAL stupid people, who are so stpid that not even the health and safety laws can save them
Well done Don, a much needed reminder of the minimum expected behaviour, and what we usually recieve.
I would also respectfully submit another rule, to be acted on before the cretins actually start work. WASH YOUR HANDS AND CLEAN YOUR FINGERNAILS. Some of these young people could be starting a new bubonic plague if they don’t improve their personal hygeine.
A fine point TwistedScottishBastard,
A few lessons on personal cleanliness would go a long way in most of these places. And while they’re scouring their nails, they may also want to consider tucking in their damned shirts and wiping the smirks off their faces too.
Thanks for visiting and all the best,
Don
I think that stores need to offer easy chairs anytime the line gets more than two deep or the slacker cashier has to call their slacker manager for assistance.
Thank you bmj2k,
A nice, tasteful easy chair or two would be a very fine idea. I’d even be prepared to help them make their fabric selections.
Something in plaid might be nice.
All the best and thanks for visiting,
Don
I hate Wal Mart. The staff exemplifies the traits in your right-hand column. They never look you in the eye, grimmace and eye-roll, heave and pass air through their nostrils. I was speaking to a woman in her 70’s in the aisle one day, and a young supervisor in her early 20’s braged thru us waving her hands and shouting, “Break it up ladies, break it up! People have to walk thru here!” and barged right on thru us…I was stunned!
They have no sense. No value of the customer. And last week, the cashier refused to void a purchase that had been wrongly priced, and made me go stand in customer service. 20 minutes of my life wasted later, I was wishing for comfortable chairs for customers to sit in. Instead, we stood sweating like cattle in a shoot, roped into these zig-zag lines, holding our bags. Rude rude rude.
Nice page, Don. Glad to have found it.
Well said, sir. I agree on the coffee refills as well. And, a few well places “thank yous” would make the day much more pleasant. Thank you very much.
Thank you happy girl.
Very true. I’ve always said that if you’re going to take me money at least show some gratitude for my patronage. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I thank a damned staff person for my purchase and they respond with a rousing “no problem.’ It burns my shorts.
All the best,
Don
Jeez, I wish you were a customer at MY diner… I’m 23 and feel like the only hostess there who actually gives a crap. I mean don’t get me wrong, I do the texting and stuff in my own time, but…you know…I actually LIKE having a job and customer service is a part of that.
This was hilarious to read. I want to print it out and tape it to our cashier.
Thank you kindly Ashe,
Nice to hear from a young person who has a decent work ethic and a sensible attitude toward work. Most times when I visit a diner I end up feeling like I’ve interfered with some young person’s “down time.”
All the best,
Don
I’d say that this post is just as apt if the word “senior” is struck. I believe the responses described as
“appropriate” apply to ALL customers, regardless of age, gender, creed or whatever.
Thank you healingmagichands,
I fully agree that the appropriate responses should apply to all customers but it seems to me that older folks in particular are often singled out for lousy service and dismissed outright by staff. They’ll treat you fine if you have a bluetooth stuck in your ear but if you have a hearing aid instead you’re lucky if they even look up from their magazine.
All the best,
Don
Dear Don
I find it particularly vexing when the youth supposedly providing service addresses me as “Mate” (I guess that translates into American English as “Pal”). I am not his “Mate”, I have no wish to be his “Mate”; I am “Sir”.
Very best
Dr T
Thank you Dr. T.,
I find it vexing as well. And I also take offence at being called “sweetie” or “dearie.” I’m not a housecat, I’m a paying customer so call me “sir”, refill my coffee cup and make it snappy damn it.
Best regards,
Don
ps, Mr Mills, my grandparents’ last name is also Mills and they had a brother called Don who has sadly passed away. I’m sure you’re no relation but it does make me think even more fondly of your blog.
Dr Tim, I find it annoying to be addressed as ‘Miss’ by a shop attendant trying to get my attention – I am over 30, wear a wedding ring and am heavily pregnant with a toddler in tow, I think I could at least earn a ‘Ma’am’ or a ‘Ms’ rather than the diminutive ‘Miss’ – unless they think I’m their school teacher? Perhaps they mean it as a compliment but instead I feel judged to be a single mother when I went to all the trouble of bagging myself a husband before getting knocked up. If they are going to refer to me based on my relationship to a man then at least get it right. Funnily enough it’s only males who make this mistake, women correctly use ‘ma’am’ when they wish to attract my attention.
Thank you Mr Mills for another spot on post. My grandparents recently had cause to complain to management about the lack of a friendly smile or recognition from the cashier at the small town grocery store they frequent at least weekly. The next time they visited the service was much improved. Certainly pays to speak up!
cheers Mrs hellyamber
Thank you Mrs. Hellyamber,
I enjoyed your comment a great deal. My thanks.
And please pass my best regards on to your grandparents. As they clearly know, it always pays to speak your mind.
Best regards,
Don
Good one. I sent this to my facebook page.
Many thanks Mike.
Nice of you to pop in.
All the best,
Don
LOl loved it 🙂 thanks needed a good laugh!
Thank you holygypsy,
Appreciate your stopping by to visit.
Best regards,
Don
Short of nickels. I take it this visit took place at the end of the month? Great post, as usual.
Thank you momfog,
I tend to carry a wide assortment of coins with me regardless of the time of the month. I don’t use debit cards or credit cards and generally don’t trust salespeople’s ability to calculate change accurately. Plus, I like the pained expression I receive when I start counting out the nickels and dimes.
Always a pleasure to have you stop in,
Don
“I like the pained expression…” Not sure which is better – your post or your comments.
I love your posts, you remind me of my grandpa. I miss him dearly. Anyway, you perked up my day with laughter, thankyou.
Haha! Crazy how actually counting out change is such a foreign concept to some people. I like it but everyone is so impatient! I’m a teenager and I can’t stand going into stores with poor customer service. When I get a job, I am going to do it right.
You’re killing me Don! You serve up the humor in a BIG way, “and piping hot too!”
Thank you Dr. Cynicism,
Very kind of you to say, lad.
All the best,
Don
Lad? Reverse offensive!
…and then they end up getting promoted to “Manager”.
Thank you Friar,
Indeed. It seems that anyone who has the gumption to work more than one shift is made manager. I don’t know how many times I’ve been told to take my concerns to some 17-year old gum-snapping, fauxhawk wearing manager who has all the decision making authority of an Edwardian stable-boy.
Managers are supposed to smoke cigars, wear suspenders and rule with an iron fist.
Nice to have you visit, Friar. Hope the fish are biting for you.
Don
Good point, sir.
I can’t tell you how many “managers” under 25 (some of them teens) I’ve seen in the last couple of years. It’s astounding that many of them just have a job there, never mind the fact they are running the place. This is especially true of major chains. You’d think you would at least have to be closing in on 30 to become the store manager of a major multinational corporation. Apparently not.
Clearly, the Everybody Gets A Sticker Generation seems to be getting the same treatment in many workplaces.
Ok… I just might have lived in China for too long. But what on earth is a “fatty break”? And do people actually do some of these things? I’ll have to pay closer attention when I return this summer.
Lovely post Mister Donald!!!
w
Thank you Woman,
As I understand it a “fatty” is some form of marijuana cigarette. I say this only because a recent commenter indicated that he was going to track me down, ignite one and blow the smoke on me in some sort of effort (I assume) to “mellow me out.” To be honest, I may be wrong, though. I find the current young people jargon to be as confusing as it is tiresome.
As for the quality of customer service, I think you’ll be quite surprised when you return from China. Some businesses make an effort but I’m increasingly frustrated by the utter lack of common decency and common sense displayed by salespeople.
If I had ever greeted a customer with a rousing yawn and vigorous scratching of my armpits my old boss, Mr. Gorman, would have walloped me with a can of butch wax and fired me on the spot.
All the best, Woman. I trust you’re keeping well.
Don
You forgot ‘Turn off your rap/death metal/long haired hippie freak music.’
I realize places like Subway don’t hire the best and the brightest, but when I have to shout my bread choice over the noise of what sounds like some guy who is both demonically possessed and constipated, I wish I had a cane to rap someone over the head with.
All the best!
Thank you yellowcat,
I fully agree about the music. When the hell did employees start bringing their record albums to work and who in their right mind is allowing them to play them? It’s likely just another effort to drive customers out of the store as quickly as possible.
As far as the cane goes, I’d recommend carrying one regardless of whether or not you have a legitimate need for its use. In addition to making a fine weapon, they are also helpful for poking, pointing and shaking in the face of damned young people.
Best regards and thanks for visiting,
Don
p.s. The demonically possessed/constipated combo is very disturbing – especially at Subway where I believe it’s also a featured item on their menu.
Subway, or as I call it The Listerosis Express, is probably the quickest constipation cure on the market!
Three off the last (and I mean last) five times I ate there, I was on the crapper launching my own express trains within the hour. One time resulted in a weekend of chills, fevers, dizziness and both my tunnel exits getting a constant workout. I certainly considered it a demonic possession.
Low quality crap served by low quality workers. What could possibly go wrong with that?
I can’t say I’ve eaten there, Sedate Me, but I certainly won’t be rushing off to do so now.
Something about the name put me off from the word go. I tend to associate “Subways” with sweaty commuters, rodents, lots of spitting and a fair amount of dirt. The only less appetizing name might have been “Public Urinal.”
All the best,
Don
Too bad that thumbtack found the center of your forehead. It is a few holes short of the one I have of you on my dartboard, but is lost in volume is made up for in accuracy.
Thank you ignorethebucklesonmyjacket,
You know what they say – perforation is the sincerest form of flattery.
All the best,
Don
Don Don Don Hilarious!
Love it.
Gmom.
Thank you kindly, Gmom.
Hope you’re well. All the best,
Don
Hilarious! My favorite is “Yo, yo, yo, Pappy, Whazzup Dawg?” You did forget holding his groin, though!
Thank you Scott,
I appreciate the kind words. Thankfully the counter was high enough that if he has handling his privates it was well hidden from me. I suspect observing that would have put me off my tea biscuits once and for all.
Best regards,
Don
Damn right, Don. Friggin morons snapping gum, checking out the hotty behind you, and saying, “Yo baby, why don’t you jump in front of this old fart. He ain’t gonna do nothing anyways.” It’s then you whip a stiff finger across his throat, too fast for the eye to follow, and watch him choke to death with a crushed larynx. The you wake up and change your depends.
Thank you Jammer,
The crushed larynx is more a third offence type of punishment. I like to start with a good tongue lashing and progress to a sharp crack across the noggin with a cane before moving to more lethal measures.
All the best, lad.
Don
don, i had my ownlittle run-in with salespeople this week. i think i won! 😀
Thank you Nonnie,
I’ve had some questionable dealings with the folks at Home Depot myself, Nonnie. Looks like you got them sorted out smartly though. Good on you but it’s a shame that you had to fight and complain in order to get decent service and what you’re entitled to.
Best regards,
Don
i shouldn’t have said anything, don. i know how any place with the word home in it makes you nervous. 😉
Friendly and subservient deference (or deferential subservience; either will do) are characteristics I always appreciate in customer service minions (or flunkies; either will do).
Hey Don, you got Freshly Pressed again. Congrats!
Thank you pegoleg,
Both are nice but I prefer deferential subservience. Primarly just because it seems to roll off the tongue.
All the best and thanks for visiting,
Don
p.s. Clearly I’ve been sending hard candies to the right people.
haha. nicely done.
Many thanks Jennifer.
Best,
Don
Another good one 🙂
Thank you The Simple Life of a Country Man’s Wife,
Good Christ I’m exhausted just from typing your name.
Appreciate your stopping in. Hope you’re well.
All the best,
Don
Everyone’s pretty mad to have a job. Doesn’t quite make sense, does it? Earning a paycheck is enough to make me smile and act a little courteous!
Many thanks Tori,
You’d think people would be a little more enthusiastic about bringing home a paycheque – and even if they aren’t that’s no damned excuse. I had plenty of jobs I less than loved but I full well recognized that I didn’t get to take my displeasure out on the customers. I kept it pent up inside and then went home and took it out on my family.
All the best and thanks for visiting.
Don
Perhaps you could do us all a huge favor and create a customer service training manual. I will personally distribute it to businesses around my town and maybe keep a copy in case I ever need to just throw it at someone’s head.
Thank you bigsheepcommunications,
I’d love to but in the interest of time would just suggest you find yourself the biggest damned volume of the Encylopedia you can find (the letter S is usually good), slap a “Customer Service Standards” label on the front of it and start swinging/throwing and generally beating the hell out of people with it. It will save time, money and be more personally rewarding as well.
Best regards,
Don
Donald it’s not only OAPs the get the short end of the wedge some of us youngen do too. Service is a dirty word today no one is prepared to get off there fat backsides and make sure that what they promise gets done. Like the Blog good for you 🙂
Thank you kindly photomi7ch,
It may well be true but I still say seniors get the worst of it. For some reason people feel we can either be insulted, patronized or just plan ignored without any form of recourse. It steams me up.
Appreciate your stopping in.
Don
I’d like to respectfully disagree that seniors get the worst of it. I think fellow teens are pretty similar targets for terrible service. They think just because we’re the same age that we don’t deserve any respect. I try to be respectful to everyone, whether they’re helping me or I’m helping them. But rarely is the respect returned. And when I see my peers mouthing off to or ignoring elderly customers, it makes my blood boil. What’s going on with parenting these days?
Is that the sound of dust being blown off Kevorkian machines that I’m hearing? Hope your Hoveround hauls ass, Don 😉
Good Christ that’s a disturbing comment sox68. I thought the U.N. had dismantled all of those damned machines.
I must advise my peers. Clearly we need to mobilize.
Appreciate the heads up lad.
Don
The U.N. had ’em listed as “W.M.D’s” on the paperwork. Silly bastards.
Hilarious, but sadly it’s the reality in most of the places nowadays. I’m a youngin’ myself (20!) but I have been working in food service since I was 15, so I definitely hold servers to an extra high standard whenever they serve me. I expect them to treat me the way I treated my customers but sadly more than half of them seem like they don’t give a flying cent to their service. Disgusting.
Thank you kindly Hyouten,
Always nice to hear from a young person with a job and a level head. Keep up the good work!
Best regards,
Don
This definitely got me laughing, but they don’t only act that way to the elder customers, they do it to us other youngsters too.
I’ve lived with my grandparents for over a year now, quite an experience!
Thank you reenahey,
I’m repeating myself here (it’s a privilege of age) but I maintain that while youngsters may receive lousy service too we seniors get treated worse. This is compounded, of course, by the fact that I feel that we should be treated better than others in the first place.
I’m sure your grandparents feel the same way. Hopefully you’re helping out around the house, picking up after yourself and staying out from under foot.
All the best,
Don
I feel the same way. And I’m the same age as the people you’re criticizing! Customer service is essential at my job, and while I may text behind the counter and look tired (usually I work a late shift, so hopefully that’s understandable), if there’s a customer at the desk, I immediately put down the phone and politely ask “How may I help you today, sir/miss?” Service with a smile, particularly to my elders. It’s really unbelievable that service is so terrible elsewhere.
Thank you for posting this. I think I’ll share it with my boss. He’ll enjoy it I’m sure.
Many thanks corlosky,
Personally, I’d recommend leaving your infernal textometer device at home when you’re off to work but it sounds like you have a decent understanding of customer service and a healthy respect for seniors so I’ll be happy to look the other way in this particular instance.
Thanks for visiting.
Don
Hahahaha! This is hilarious!!! Thanks for sharing. (I say while vigorously nodding my head.)
Thank you ournote2self,
I do appreciate some vigorous head nodding. I appreciate it and the kind words.
All the best,
Don
I’m sorry but, WTF is a tea biscuit?! 😉
Not be an asshole, but a tea biscuit is a biscuit you eat while drinking tea. (Many people have their own definitions and I hear what qualifies is somewhat regional too.)
Many thanks for pitching in there Sedate Me. I would have had trouble describing it any other way.
Hope that answers your question Mark. Thanks for stopping by.
Don
It’s always an honour for me to help out, sir.
You old fogeys need to get a life. Do you really think that having a 50-year-old waitress is going to help your cause? Anyone getting paid minimum wage, and then getting shoddy tips from old “everything was better in the ’20s” farts like you, should treat you with disrespect. Plus your coffee is going to take a hell of a lot longer when she blows out one of her knees on the way to the kitchen. Especially if you ask a question like, “do you have any damn tea biscuits”. I used to be a waiter/bartender and I’ve ran into old guys like you. Even if the coffee came with a free steak the coffee would be too old and the steak would be too rare. Try making your own coffee at home and giving these kids a break. Jesus.
On a side not your writing style is hilarious, just don’t agree with the comments. I’ve met plenty of disrespectful and completely useless seniors, but you guys get the right of way because you’re old. I’ll stick with the much more American-feeling sentiment, “you get as much respect as you’ve earned”, regardless of age.
Screw you, J.J., you little dickless wonder.
Your JOB is not your own time, it is time and service you rent out for money, and it’s not to be taken personally. Clearly your one of the noxious little idiots this post just described. 12 smacks with the cane, say I!
Thanks for the comment Joe,
Just to clarify, I’m not demanding that anyone serving coffee or working in the service industry be over 50 years of age. Far from it. What I’m suggesting is that if damned young people are going to be employed to serve coffee, make tea biscuits, pour me a drink or bag my grapes I expect them to do it with something less than a scowl on their face and a Ipod in their hand. They don’t have to like it or me but they sure as hell have to pretend that they do! That’s why it’s called “work.”
Be assured, I’m all for young people working – the earlier the better in fact. They might not be so quick to toss away their 3 month old computer and demand a new one if they actually had some idea about what was involved in earning the money to pay for it. I’ll be happy to give them a break when they’ve put in a decent 12-hour shift and damned well earned one.
Anyway, I do appreciate the comment, Joe.
All the best,
Don
Love it!
Maybe on the back of the poster, you could put a short instruction on counting back change. Nothing makes me fear for the future more than when some emo kid of Gen-Whine youngster types the wrong amount into the cash register and then stands there dumbfounded for minutes or more trying desperately to figure out how much change they owe you because the big friendly cash register won’t display the amount.
The other day I taught a young lady how to count back change and then stood there as she did it for the next customer. It was a life-changing experience for her and I could actually see the little cartoon hearts blossoming around the top of her head as she gazed upon me with utter fascination and admiration. And getting some nice, young tail from an aspiring café day manager later on that evening helped confirm to me that Viagra isn’t a necessary part of my medication regimen. That’s what you’d call a quid pro quo in the best way possible.
Thanks again for the read!
–The Gassy Guy
About 3 years ago I was in a store just after a power failure. The store computer system failed to reboot and the employees had absolutely no idea what to do without their scanners & computers. They chased down the oldest employee and asked him what to do. He wasn’t that sure. By the way, this was a store that sold calculators as one of their products. Eventually, a customer pointed this out. The employees were actually afraid to open up the package, for fear of punishment. Finally, they opened one and the eldest employee had to work it because nobody else seemed to know how.
I sat for well over 15 minutes waiting for change from a $10.
Thank you kindly James,
I’ve often suggested that one way to disarm a menacing teenager is to ask him to do mental math. If a young thug demands your billfold tell him you have two wallets and ask him if he wants the one which contains 3 five dollar bills and 2 tens or the one that has 1 twenty, a five and fourteen singles. As the circuits in his brain begin to smoke and his eyes glaze over club him in the head with your cane and run like hell.
Never fails.
All the best and thanks for visiting.
Don
This is sooo funny. I should be terribly offended but I can’t stop laughing. I should print out this flier and use it as a guide for when I get my first job so that I do not become one of those youngsters you seem to enjoy complaining about.
Thank you kindly princesayasmine,
Just use common sense and common decency and you should be fine. Best of luck.
Don
Well, at 46 I do not consider myself a senior but have been patronised by twelve year-old sales assistants for nearly ten years. I went to buy cassette tapes. 12 year-old, “I don’t even remember those. It’s been mp3 for years. Me, “Really, you’re that young? You look pretty worn for your age.”
At least, I got a funny one, a few weeks ago, in the Apple Store in Covent Garden. I took in my decrepit Mac to ask if it could be upgraded. The 12 year-old kept staring at it with a degree of indulgent contempt. I said, “Will you stop looking at my Mac as though it was a dinosaur.” The 12 year-old replied, “Not at all, I am looking at it as Vintage.”
At least he got points for a sharp repartee.
Many thanks Scribedoll,
And full marks to you for “you look pretty worn for your age.” With your permission I may just borrow that.
Thanks for visiting and good luck with your vintage computer. Perhaps I’ll start referring to myself as a vintage citizen.
All the best,
Don
Maybe second rate service comes along with second or third rate wages. Maybe if seniors with all their free time focused on real problems instead of mocking troubled teenagers, this would be a better place for all of us.
Respectfully..
Thank you miafivos,
Third rate wages? It never fails to amaze me when youngsters with no work experience expect their after school job to pay $65 an hour and include stock options, a company car and an executive assistant.
I appreciate your point, lad, but I think I’ll stick with the mocking.
All the best and thanks for stopping in.
Don
Haha, you should run a business then?
Thank you corzgalore,
I run a small shop – Donco. It’s just me, my personal support worker and an overweight weiner dog but we treat our customers right.
All the best,
Don
President and CEO
Donco
Ahah very funny and so true! If this makes you feel better, I receive the same treatment despite being young too!
Thank you Little Explorer,
I appreciate the comment but, regrettably, it doesn’t make me feel any better. I expect young people to be treated poorly and suppose I’m rather selfish too.
Warm regards,
Don
This is the best thing I’ve read today.
Thank you kindly Lara.
Regards,
Don
I am a 59-year-old registered nurse who will be 60 before year’s end. I work with a lot of 20 and 30 somethings. The smart phone use drives me crazy. I work in maternity. Once a father of the baby complained that the delivery room nurse was texting all through his girlfriend’s labor. I think that’s a bit much. However I also don’t like the fact that he’s not married to the mother of the baby. I’m paying his maternity bills, for WIC to feed the baby till he’s 5 and then he’ll get school breakfasts and lunches, live in subsidized housing and they all get free taxi vouchers to run errands.
I used to teach nursing. A former student of mine is the staff educator at a major medical trauma center. She says her first class to all new graduate nurses is on how to make eye contact, greet a patient, and introduce themselves. She said they sit next to each other and text. They don’t know how to act face to face.
Thanks for letting me blow off some steam. All this would be funny if it weren’t so sad,
Dawn, RN
Thank you Dawn,
An interesting commment. I was recently chatting with a 50-something neighbor who works at a large corporation and he was telling me that they’re having to write human resource manuals and policies on appropriate use of cell phones and text messages during work hours. According to him, when they are training new employees at any given time half of them will have their phones out and be plunking away on their keypads. Remarkable to me that damned employees have the nerve.
All the best and thanks for stopping in.
Don
Ticks me off how customer service has gone down the toilet. I don’t think these youngsters know that if not for patrons, old or not, they’d be out of a job that provides them money for the flipping mall.
Thanks for this post.
Darlene
Thank you Darlene,
I suspect you’re right.
All the best,
Don
The service industry really needs to hire you for a complete overhaul. I see a long career ahead of you.
Very funny….no, I take that back…extremely funny.
Awesome as always!
Congrats on making it on Freshly Pressed.
I don’t think I’ve laughed like this all day after reading that!
Unfortunately, it is the truth about the majority of the young people emloyed in Customer Service sectors.
I think (I am not in any way shape or form using your blog to promote :)) that you may want to swing by John Lewis though. You might be surprised by the level of Customer Service here. But of course, there are exceptions to everything! Hopefully you won’t bump into the young practioners of the ‘Inappropriate Responses’ in your piece.
However, if you bump into me I’d be happy to give you a couteous bow!
I don’t care what age – if someone says to me “Where’s the Damn tea biscuits” my response will be “Use your Damn eyes” – Being an old fart doesn’t mean you get to be rude. Anyway, I am not “young” either, But I smile and laugh witgh everyone….and I ALWAYS get top service.
Try it sometime.
This is a fantastic blog,,,the best! Funny and REAL, sad and true!!!!!!!
Too funny! Congrats on FP-ed!
Kathy
LOVE IT! Thank you for a laugh today! 🙂
Congrats on making FP again, Mr. Mills! Right on!
Hahaha! So witty and true, and I’m a teenager! If you need a/another grandkid, I’d be happy to be one. I can tell you’re really cool, but you don’t take mess. Keep on Blogging, Mr. Mills.
Happy Pressing,
Jenna
Oh boy. Great post. Loved hearing from all the commenting curmudgeons too, who probably never worked behind a register in their entire lives…perhaps retail personnel can sense that you customers think they’re scum from the moment you walk in the door. A little courtesy on both sides goes a long way.
In my customer service days, I had my own problems with elderly customers. When I saw one coming at Barnes and Noble, I knew we were in for another marathon session explaining the concept of modern gift-cards, which are loaded onto a plastic card through the computer, not not given to them in the form of a written certificate.
There is also a problem I had with older men in my work at a tourist site, where it was my job to be friendly and welcoming to everyone. For some reason, many older men believed it was ok to put their hands on my waist as I talked to them, or put a hand on my knee if I was sitting down. Didn’t have this problem with young men.
Maybe you won’t believe me now, but I actually enjoy the elderly and relish spending time with and caring for the oldest generation in my family.
Keep up the good work on your blog.
I worked at McDonald’s for a few years through high school and university. Some of my favourite customers were seniors. I know that I was a favourite with a few seniors until I quite a few months ago. But I know what you’re saying. I may not be a senior citizen, or even middle age, but most of the time working with teenagers can be just as taxing as having them serve you. Hopefully things improve for you, you deserve it!
And I can’t spell…I meant quit, not quite. :S
WT$ LOL
Well, yeah sure if they act that bad they should CHANGE! But you are pushing it too far too Gramps lol
Actually, I understand where this is coming from — considering I am a young person and a lot of people are on your face for no good reason
You write interesting posts ^_^ Keep it up!
This is priceless! I’m 26 btw.
Some funny observations there!
On a serious note I do think customer service is a thing of the past, but I think its the companies to blame for this as they fail to prioritise it enough.
Mr Mills,
I could prattle on about the embarrassingly shitty standards of customer service out there for as long as it takes to pay off the US National Debt. However, I will try to resist that temptation.
It’s undeniable now that customers are considered merely the unfortunate burden of doing business. When not being ignored, they are abused and taken advantage of at every turn.
I quite honestly faced less suspicion crossing Checkpoint Charlie at the height of the Cold War (with “illegal propaganda” I might add) than I get shopping at most stores. Hi-def cameras record my every move “for my own protection” as I meander through hundreds of aisles without seeing a single employee (not working a till).
On the rare occasion when I do come across an employee, they are reluctant to help, if not outright incapable of assisting. Most are apathetic at best, many are just downright rude. Nearly all under 50 are stupid as bricks and worthy of being hit with one. Most of those over 50 try hard, but they have been worked to within an cm of death, so their brains and bodies are basically shot.
For a variety of reasons, even simple shopping tasks have become so unbearable that I’m actually considering shopping on-line. And that’s really saying something.
Shop online whenever you can. And never, ever, ever use a public “fitting room.” For all we know those cameras are shooting back worldwide footage to every pervo on the planet in real time. Do I really want someone in Swaziland getting their jollies watching me try on bras- and then publishing said video on YouTube and God only knows where else? I think not.
I don’t like the suspicion and glaring eyes either. It’s bad enough the Family Dollar has cameras AND a recording that goes off every two minutes or so informing everyone in the store that all activity is being monitored. As if I am stupid enough to want to go to jail for stealing a $5 pack of toilet paper or a $1 bottle of bleach cleaner!
It’s come down to the fact that customer service has gone the way of the Model T, the cassette tape and the Man Who Wears Pants At His Actual Waist Without Showing Underwear or Butt Crack. It doesn’t exist, unless you want to pay out the wazoo for it.
Yeah the Dollar Store security cams. I’ve actually been in several dollar stores that have more money in their cameras than the entirety of what’s on their store shelves. Laughable. Forget the products. Steal the cameras.
And the funny thing is that all this hi-tech stalking of customers has no meaningful impact outside of pissing off the remaining non-exhibitionists out there.
That’s hilarious!
I agree that service by SOME teenager can be lousy and downright rude.
I’m 15, but contrary to popular belief, I do respect my elders. Especially ones who come up with things as hilarious as this.
I seriously think you should come to the Seattle area and hand out some of those flyers in all the local businesses. Really, please consider it.
Wow. Again FP. Well deserved again. Sometimes I wonder why they choose certain blogs- but yours, a keeper. You always make me laugh. I am not senior citizen but I wish they would ditch the inappropriate reactions for me as well.
Congrats. Still loving it.
Well done sir!
I am a youngling myself (19), but at least hold the deserved respect for the senior members of society. I have shared this with my friends in the service industry; they enjoyed it.
Keep up the good work; you give us young’uns someone to admire!
Dear Mr. Mills,
You are incredibly intelligent and very very funny. We must get
your blog to all high school seniors as a prerequisite course.
Hugs to you, you cuddly curmudgeon. (does this have spell check???)
Marge
LMAO!! Love it! I just have one question…. what are fatty breaks?
Fatty=Joint
i’m SOOO sick of terrible customer service, so thank you for this blog. I was a waitress and bartender forever, and younger people these days are getting lazy.
Some are polite, nice and generous. I guess were hidden among the idiots who exist.
Mr. Mills,
I am what you call “young people”, being seventeen and a high school senior. I want to let you know that not all “young people” follow these inappropriate responses. However, my job working retail customer service has shown me that it’s not only “young people” who are rude and inappropriate. There are many middle-aged people or seniors who are rude, obnoxious, and think that they are more important compared to the other customers. And I’d like to remind you that you “old people” were once “young”. I am not here to threaten you or prove you wrong, because there are many “young people” who are also rude, obnoxious, and think that they are the best. However, next time try to look at all perspectives and research a little more before you post something that is false and can hurt people’s feelings.
Thank you,
Jennifer
This is pretty hilarious! Although, I am relatively young, maybe not in the age category you’re referring to, I would have to a gree with most of your assessments. Loved the chart and the option to “bow or curtsy” when an older person enters the store.
I am a ‘younger’ member of staff in our local Tesco store. And I would like to think that I am on the polite end of the spectrum, But I would have to disagree with you expecting me to call you sir. If i walked into a store and someone adressed me as sir, I would cringe.
I’m a young person – I feel like I should be offended but can’t bring myself to be. This is so funny! I don’t know what a “fatty” break is nor do I know why anyone would snap their bra strap in public, but I still laughed anyway. Great post and congrats on the freshly pressed. (:
A “fatty” is a joint. There is a certain irony in the fact that there was probably more joint smoking going on in my generation (I came of age in the 80’s- see Fast Times at Ridgemont High or The Breakfast Club if you need an ’80’s culture reference) than there is now. However…none of us had facial tattoos or gauged earrings back in the day, and pants were worn pulled up to the waist, with no undies or butt crack showing.
Occupation: Barista
Poise: Unprecedented, professional, BUT
never subservient. I give you the benefit of the doubt in satire ever and always, but must play devil’s advocate here. On my side of the counter:
Customer approaches counter – Me: “How are you doing? Do you know what you want?” – Customer: (always ignoring the first question. And who cares how I’m doing?) A macchiato with extra caramel. – Me: “A macchiato is just espresso and foam. Would you like me to add caramel to that, or would you prefer a caramel vanilla latte?” – Internal dialogue: “Fucking Starbucks.” – Customer: Stares at me in anger. “WHATEVER. I just want that.” – Me: “Lovely. $4.35 please.” – Customer: raises eyebrows. Throws wad of bills he expects me to un-wad and a scattering of coins all over the counter he expects me to retrieve. “You’re cutting into your tips you know.” and throws a nickle into the jar. – Inner dialogue: “I’m not responsible for the cost of labor, rent of downtown space and a coffee shortage in Ethiopia due to political turmoil that is causing a shortage in bean crop and FYI maybe, just maybe, if you can’t afford to tip you shouldn’t be purchasing “macchiatos” at all. And wow, thanks for the nickle. That was incredibly insulting.”
I promise, we don’t get paid well enough to not care how shitty we get treated, with every customer grating under their assumptions that I’m a mere pretty face in a dead end job despite the textbooks sitting under the counter that indicate I’m working on my Masters and OMG we’re both people with the same capacity for respect.
Though, I must say the gum-chewing, texting, lerpy thing you describe is an unappetizing figure to associate with. Maybe you should find a coffee shop that isn’t a cooperative talent-suck? You might find a more “human-looking” person in a more independent establishment.
I have read your post as well as a variety of the comments here and I am pleased with your work. Not only do you write humorous posts but you also respond to those who comment on your wall (something that is lacking on many blog sites)! I do agree that a vast majority of people these days can be a pain, and what gets me most is when they do not comprehend the simple thing of politeness. You act politely as to not offend them, and then they later come up and criticize you and rub what you did as politeness back in your face! And I do agree with the first comment on this page; it is indubitably annoying when they charge you full price for coffee refills ;P Keep up the good work Donald!
Never mind tea biscuits, ask them for Zwiebacks and you’ll really confuse them!
This blog post makes me think of the character played by Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino.
Okey, I’m just going to come out and say this. This sucked. It has only 50% of things we teenagers ACTUALLY DO. The other have is just stereotypical bullshit. We don’t sit there snapping our gum or bra straps, we are polite, and never once have I seen ANYONE walk up to a person and say “yo, yo, yo, wazzup dawg?” Unless they’re an old person trying to act young and “hip”. This is exactly why I don’t have any respect for elders. I don’t know how you grew up when you were a kid, but now a days, you have to EARN respect. We’re not going to just hand it to you on a silver platter. That’s called LAZINESS. I don’t care what you’ve been through, or how grey your hair is, or how old you are. You still gotta earn my respect. I’m sick of the phrases “When I was a kid, I had to . . . ” And “My church would never let me do THAT . . . ” News flash, grandpa, We live in the 21st century, not whenever you were born. Times have changed. DEAL WITH IT. You people are always trying to figure out “What’s wrong with young people” . I’m always hearing “I’ve figured it out!” . You wanna know why people keep failing at figuring it out? CAUSE THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUNG PEOPLE.
And that’s exactly what’s wrong with young people.
At least someone on here knows what they are talking about.
It’s about time I found your site, otherwise I would have to write this myself, holy crap you hit the nail on the head, keep up the good work, Brian
One of my pet peeves are clerks, almost always young, who haven’t the foggiest idea what they’re selling. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been asked at the checkout, “What is that?” It will be artichokes, rhubarb, leeks, avocados, and many more. I feel as if I should take them on a tour of their store.
Half the cashiers in Kroger’s (and they are actually for the most part friendly there, and the kids really try to be courteous) have no idea which vegetable is which unless they type in the number on the sticker that is usually stuck to the vegetable. Seriously. It’s almost sad they can’t identify an eggplant or bean sprouts or asparagus- or anything else that doesn’t come in a standard Happy Meal.
Hilarious. Shop elsewhere.
Haha! You forgot that an inappropriate response is to continue flirting with the bagger boy who will probably not amount to anything else but a bagger boy.
I’m not a teenager, but not middle aged, and feel old when I leave grumbling about the crappy customer service I just experienced. Damn kids! Lol!
What are you talking about Don? Of course I pick my nose, say “Yo, yo, yo, Whatsssup Pappy!”, text my friend during breaks, stare off into space with my mouth wide open, derisively whisper, and chuckle loudly!
I’m just kidding. I will say that respect for seniors by the youngsters is at best nonexistent nowadays, although I will add that respect in general is going down hill. As a fairly young man (25), I have always taken my customer service up a couple of notches when speaking to seniors. Blame it on my Chinese upbringing!
My best customers may not be all seniors – but they (yourself included) then to be some of the most interesting! I will politely disagree with you in how most teenagers – albeit young people – treat seniors. A good portion of us do give respect when the situation calls, the rest of our peers just give us a bad rap. Like the ones that you just described.
I actually do thank customers for paying with change. I usually am low on change and I have to call a manager to get me change when I run out which can take a while. I also like it when the customers pay for a bill of $20 in ones.
Drives me mad when on a bus, a senior person or a pregnant woman has to stand in front of the reserved seats because mister young guy or pretty young princess cannot realize that standing up and giving a seat is the way to go. Grrrrr nobody has taught them manners.
I hope one day I can be momma to teach my kid how to be a good, respectful and gentle human being.
I actually have stopped going to Dunkin Donuts because their cust serv is horrible
Don,
Amazingly stated! I feel the same way sometimes and have often felt like the the p’s and q’s seem to have been lost on a lot of people in this day an age.
Best post ever. Can I E-mail you a refill on your coffee? I would have replied sooner but was making sure my shoes were polished properly and shirt pressed before addressing you. May I look up and make eye contact now?
I dearly hope, mate, that you are loaded with sarcasm and do not actually believe in what you are writing here. Dearie, please don’t overload yourself with anger, even if it is justified. You’re bound to have a heart attack, and sweetie, no one wants that. Please do yourself and us all a HUGE favor and keep anger to a minimum, or at least, until the doctor can prescribe you some more meds to help your excellent heart keep up.
I do not call fellow persons of Earth “sweetie” or “dearie” usually but you seem like such a well-mannered and nice gentlement, I could not resist.
Don’t get me started on customer service. I don’t know how many times I wanted to say, “And where do you suppose your paycheck is coming from? Do you imagine that being available and caring enought to take people’s MONEY might factor in your ability to get paid???” Urrgggh! I’d like to send most of them off to the military so they can learn some discipline, accountability, honor, purpose, etc. etc. Your post is hilarious but also TOO TRUE!!
You are a wise man, thank you.
I must subscribe!
True that that are lots of disrespectful young people out there,But I think that you can easily use your sense of humor to hammer the hell out of them and make them feel stupid and disrespectful. I mean,never underestimate the verbal power:) Wonderful post.
I found the flier really hilarious, especially the inappropriate responses.
Very funny! Nicely done.
CarsOfficial
http://CarsOfficial.com
I actually have stopped going to Dunkin Donuts because their cust serv is horrible.
In case you may want to join my weblog’s Q BLOG AWARDS 2011:
http://thequeerlifestyle.com/the-queer-lifestyles-q-blog-awards-2011/
“Thank you. We were short of nickels.”………..hahahahahaha – genius !! 🙂
Don –
Had I realized there would be a line, I certainly would have stopped in earlier. But at our age, being early for much more than bedtime is often a Herculean effort, as I’m sure you’re aware. I actually meant to be here yesterday, but an untimely visit by the family I’d forgotten I had detained me for a tedious eight hours or so. It’s not that I’m not happy to see them. It’s just that I’m just as happy not seeing them.
Generally speaking, we don’t see eye-to-eye on most issues (including hair color and parental tactics), so what starts as idle chitchat often turns to uncomfortable silences, mainly because my living room is full of uncomfortable furniture. I bought mine back in the day when things were built to last and not gently caress you into a coma-like state of stupefaction.
But enough about me and my intrusive family. You’ve got a fine piece of instructive infographing going on here. I think what stands out the most is that today’s employees are continually ungrateful for your contributions to their dwindling coin supply. I never thought I would see the day when cash was considered more inconvenient than credit cards, but then again, I never thought I wo9uld see the day when a someone as fresh-faced and tousled as this Bieber fellow would conquer the wallets of a large portion of our nation.
For one thing, he’s not actually American. I thought people in this country knew better than to keep sending their money to foreign countries, but big box stores and inferior domestic vehicles have proven me wrong. For another, he’s so doe-eyed and windswept, he might as well be wearing a “KIDNAP ME” sign taped to his back.
But that’s neither here nor there. I’ve got nearly 70 pounds of change in various jars around the house and I’ll be damned if it’s going to outlast me. I’ve never gotten the hang of ATM machines and after approaching the bank’s drive-thru multiple times from the wrong direction, I’ve just given up on attempting to get ahold of my cash in bill form.
As is par for the course with those of an advanced age, I only make small purchases and as such, feel no need to spoil the cashier with easily used $20 bills or debit cards. It’s only $4.53 in change and I’ve gone the extra mile to ensure that it’s components are like a high-quality selection of mixed nuts: not more than 50% pennies.
I wouldn’t go on and on about this, but considering the amount of barely-suppressed ire I feel radiating off the employees and the dozen or so people behind me in the express lane, I feel it needs to be pointed out. Who do think supplies all this “change” that they get from their large bills and blatant disregard for exact coinage? The bank?
If only. As far as I can tell, my bank is only interested in talking me into direct deposit and painting confusing directional lines all over the drive-thru area.
Take it from me, it’s seniors like Don who make sure that you can have your 47 cents at the end of the transaction. Once we’re all dead, you’ll just be forced to round up and incrementally go broke.
Thanks for the excellent post, Don. Truly an eye-opener.
Sincerely,
Clifton L. Tanager
Some workers are just after the pay that’s why they forget the point of their jobs (and the values that come with their jobs) which is to provide service. I think all employers or supervisors should use this as a reminder that they have a responsibility to teach their employees how to properly perform their jobs.
i love ur post! im so sick of teens i say it all the time. I also swore id never go back to work in telemarketing the worst set of business ethics (among employees not administration) iv ever seen! I currently sell newspapers, but im a medical assistant and LMT. Needed extra $ and its compatible with my kids schedule. Anyway, i AM GONNA TELL MY OFFICE ABOUT THIS. maybe they too will put up fliers…hmmm i COULD visit kinkos. and i feel older Americans do not get the respect they deserve. I teach my kids there is much to learn from our elderly, in our family and strangers. You will learn more asking someone who lived it than reading some textbook. Im gonna finish your post now and see what else i have to say, lol. its really early, or late
You mean you can actually still find staff to serve you where you live? Good for you!
Now, this is assuming that a senior receives any response at all – I find that at times I am invisible – perhaps I can start working that to my advantage. Love the post.
Ha! I am loving this post – it is so true that the little generation are not knowing how to be public faces of things – they are like a pack of dopey puppies made fat on media, yet to distinguish that individualism does not mean to be rude and disrespectful towards the older, like the rest of their strange herd.
Yo, Don–this describes all of the ‘staff’ at my local mall. Thanks for the hilarity!!
Bathing is essential. Please do it daily, and thoroughly. And while you’re at it, pull up your pants, speak civilized American English, and don’t forget to say, “Yes Ma’am,” when I ask you to do something. I’m an old cougar, and I’ve earned the right to be called “ma’am. ” People can also work a little harder on keeping their rugrats quiet in Target and keeping them from running through the aisles screaming like the heathen banchees they are. Screaming rugrats make me forget what I went to Target to get in the first place!
Kudos to you!!! Love this blog!!! Our young people have such a high sense of entitlement that it scares the liver out of me to think they will be taking care of me in the nursing home.
Okay, old man…this is your second time being Freshly Pressed and I can see why — you’re HILARIOUS! You just gained another subscriber.
I’m 30 years old and I just asked my best friend the other day, “Why does everyone hate teens so much?” We spent the next 20 minutes listing reasons why teens are so despicable, and we weren’t even finished when it was time to part ways! If I feel this way at 30, I can only imagine how I’m going to feel 30 years from now!
Anyway, you’re brilliant. Thanks for the chuckles.
😛 I’m a teen and I think teens can be pretty damn despicable too! But not even just teens! As a 17 year old you end up being appalled by the rudeness and vulgar attitudes of 5-20 year olds! Honest to God I met a 5 year old drama queen, queen bee ( or Queen B*tch) a few months ago in a club I teach. I had no clue that such a little and unformed person could be so awful! I blame movies like Mean Girls though. While they can be somewhat amusing for the older or more mature generations, like me or people who were 17 when it came out, the younger kids just end up wanting to be like them! While it might provide some satisfaction for those of us who WERE bullied, I think it’s ended up forming more bullies instead!
Yikes! And if I feel like this at 17 what will I feel like at 30??? :S
I totally agree with you! I am the same age and its shocking how teens are today! I wouldn’t even have dared to do the things they do these days!
Well done Don for an awesome post!
Great poster…now if only they could read it ( and “read” means more than just sound out the letters)
Feel like I came home when I stumbled into your blog! I hate when they answer the phone and take care of the customer on the other end before serving the customer right in front of them (ME!).
In a related area, the trouble with young people: They don’t stand up and give me their seat on the bus, despite my gray hair and arms full of packages.
“Thank you. We were short of nickels.” Love it! Tells a great story just with that one line.
Brilliant blog…well done Sir!
OMG are some people really like that? That sucks that you’re treated that way, sir, 🙂
Couldn’t have said it any better. Only I would post this anywhere that seniors and young people mix. Congratulations on your work!
You certainly made a lovely chart, and have impressive computer skills for someone of your vintage.
If seniors didn’t ask the dumbest questions imaginable they would get better service.
Hahaha! This was hilarious! Thanks for making the flyer and handing it out! I too think that customer service has gone down the drain (along with many things such as grammar and vocabulary) what with the new generation… even if I’m a part of that generation. Once upon a time at my mother’s first job she was a server at a local dinner/ store and was part of an elite team that used to help other stores step up to par and train new employees. She always comments on other the service saying “When I was at _______ we never…” or “We were always told to smile and that the customer was always right…” etc. etc. She’s given us all pretty good training on how to get along in the work place, at school, and how to be polite teens in general. I now work in a Cafe on the weekends, and what can I say? While all my friends complain about lousy tips, or rude remarks from the customers, I LOVE my job! Great setting, great food for my breaks, and everyone always seems to be so nice. Though who wouldn’t when you see someone ready and willing to serve with a smile, right?
Great job on getting freshly pressed! Your view is so refreshing and funny! Keep up the great work! 🙂
Mirella
Great Post Don,
Do you have children/grandchildren or your own? and if so, are they as bad as the rest of us teenagers?
What raises my blood pressure is when they look at you over the service counter like you’re supposed to be serving them instead!
Haha funny. I added some recipes on mine at http://thor27.wordpress.com
Mr Mills
Here is what I would do…I would hire some young punk and put him on street corner with a sandwich board and some of these things you brought up..you got a god damn good idea here….and they should teach this very subject in sunday school….zman sends
Mr Mills
One last thing…189 comments you must be whoot a real cut up at the senior center….if you run into Arthur Spooner tell um I said hey …he is 78 i think a few years younger then you right??? zman sends
One of my pet peeves are clerks, almost always young, who haven’t the foggiest idea what they’re selling. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been asked at the checkout, “What is that?” It will be artichokes, rhubarb, leeks, avocados, and many more. I feel as if I should take them on a tour of their store.
I think these should be posted throughout nursing homes… Probably every three feet. Of course, that would require employees to be aware of their surroundings… Good luck with that!
I’m an EMT and unfortunately witness a lot of abuse and disrespect whenever we respond to a call in a nursing home. Dark satire like this is a coping mechanism, but it really is such a sick, twisted system. It makes me embarassed to belong to the the same generation as the caregivers.
A little late to say this, but I really enjoyed the nursing home post… Sadly it was beyond accurate.