God Damned Schools have gone to Hell in a Handcart
It seems to me that part of the reason young people today are so woefully obtuse is that our education system has gone to hell in a handcart.
In my day, teachers knew that students learned best when they were stuck to their seats and that there was no better adhesive than fear. Discipline and learning went together like Noah and gopher wood – and a rap across the knuckles was as much a part of our schools as blackboards, dunce caps and historical revisionism.
We learned our ABCs while being mindful of our Ps and Qs and by the time we graduated high school every single one of us had learned how to spell properly, sum adequately, flinch reflexively and accept instruction with blind obedience.
We were scared of our instructors and rightly so. If I had ever sassed my old teacher, Mrs. Presswell, she would have taught me a lesson in polite behaviour by beating me bloody with a Bostitch desk stapler.
But today? Our schools are completely out of control. They’ve become half zoo, half prison and half roman orgy and I lay the blame squarely on a lack of instruction on basics like simple mathematics and an outrageous shortage of fear.
Students aren’t afraid of anything – least of all their teachers. And who can blame them? These days young Johnny’s free to dissect his frog and then turn his blade to his fellow classmates and a teacher dare not intervene for fear of stifling his creativity, facing disciplinary action or taking a 9mm “cap in the ass” as his reward. As far as I can see the best prerequisite to becoming an educator nowadays would be having prior experience as a bank hostage.
Students today are running amok. They descend on their schools like a Mongol horde and careen through the hallways screaming and fighting while piercing each other’s foreheads and thumbing their noses at authority. They aren’t reading The Lord of the Flies – they’re acting it out on a daily basis. It’s no wonder we’re churning out a generation of feral menaces – anarchy and sass have become our core curriculum.
This madness needs to end, damn it. The time has come to expel sloppy dress, bad attitudes and a culture of personal entitlement and bring back educational rigor, discipline, enforced civility and teachers that can well and truly scare the bejesus out of you.
As a nation, we’d be better off for it.