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My Days as an Athletic Supporter are Over, Damn it!

If you ask me, the state of professional sport in this country has become nothing less than damned embarrassing.

In my day athletes were real men. When they marched out onto the field of play they did so proudly and without fear. They didn’t hide themselves under a hundred pounds of military-grade protective armor – they capped their noggins with leather helmets, donned shoulder pads the thickness of kleenex and safeguarded their man-parts with hand-knit jockstraps.

They took their concussions head on and with pride – not like the mincing pretty boys today who despite their size and Kevlar shin guards fall to the ground like whinging schoolgirls the first time someone deviates their septum or kicks them in the goolies.

When I was a lad, we’d pause a game to look for a player’s misplaced eye but once it was found he was expected to pop it back in, put it on ice or toss it to the crowd and get on with the business at hand. These days, though, it seems that if a player gets his feelings hurt he’s off for a deep tissue massage, a sports psychology session and 16 weeks of gentle rehab. It’s ridiculous.

Professional athletes were role models in my day. They were poorly paid grinders without pensions or unions who were traded like chattel and drank like fish. They didn’t play sports as a means to riches. Lads played football for the camaraderie, the love of the game and as a socially acceptable way to explore their curiosity about showering with other men.

These days, though, athletes are overpaid, under-worked and hugely overvalued. They’re nothing but pampered, pituitary giants pumped up on a combination of steroids and sycophantic yes men. And if they aren’t lollygagging out on the field, they’re off enjoying recreational dog fights and sex orgies or making rap albums and filming asinine television adverts.

I want to see athletes pulling groins, damn it, not pushing shampoo or shilling for Pepsi cola. If I had any interest in watching wealthy, egotistical show ponies I’d tune in to C-span for Christ’s sake.

It used to be that a dad and his boy taking in a ball game was a national rite of passage but these days, thanks to moronic million-dollar contracts, access to a simple sporting event is cost-prohibitive for anyone unwilling to mortgage their home or sell a damned kidney.

We’ve lost all perspective and the time has come to strip professional athletes of their obscene salaries, ridiculous sense of self-importance and remind ourselves that sport was meant to be inclusive, accessible and – most of all – a god damned game.

72 Comments leave one →
  1. 4:40 pm

    This explains why young people hate the workforce. A sporting event on TV is five minutes of action followed by a two-minute break so the TV stations can air commercials. Young people have it planted in their subconscious that all jobs are like this.

    • 5:33 pm

      Thank you Ahmonodt,

      An interesting theory but I suspect when young people think of “5 minutes of action followed by a two minute break” it isn’t work that’s running through their minds.

      I assumed that for young people, the idealized notion of work was rolling into some trendy loft-office around noonish for the midday latte meeting while getting complimented on their hairstyle and sense of irony. From there, it’s a brief a blue-skying exercise and then an expense account paid afternoon of drinks and humorous banter with clients from the entertainment industry.

      Still, what the hell do I know…

      Always good to hear from you.

      Best regards,

      Don

    • 4:47 am

      aren´t they?

  2. 5:02 pm

    I’ve been teasing my husband about the “shower curiosity” thing ever since I found out about him playing college ball.😉 It’s nice to have someone else back me up!😉 LOVE the post, as usual!

    • 5:35 pm

      Many thanks Heidi,

      Glad to be able to back you up. You keep an eye on that husband of yours.

      All the best,

      Don

  3. 5:06 pm

    Well said Joe, I don’t support rugby or football but I do get really peeved with the way some sports personalities get too big for their boots and think that because they get paid over the top that they are God’s gift to humanity and should be treated with kid gloves. Its about time that the game, whichever one it is , was played as a GAME and not some poofed up way of showing off.

    Have a great day my friend and keep smiling

    • 5:38 pm

      Thank you kindly Patrecia,

      I can’t follow pro sports anymore at all. It’s become more circus than sport and the players are nothing but clowns. You half expect teams to be ushered onto the field in a tiny car.

      It’s sad. Just sad.

      Many thanks for visiting.

      Don

  4. 5:08 pm

    Whoops! sorry Don I got your name wrong..forgive a poor old sole!

    • 5:39 pm

      No worries. I appreciate the reminder actually. I spent half of yesterday referring to myself as Oswald for some reason.

      Odd.

      Best regards,

      Don

  5. 5:10 pm

    I rarely agree with your old man ramblings but you have this one exactly right. While greed will be the undoing of our world, it is most obvious in sports and politics. Why do players want more money anyway? According to Sports Illustrated, well over 70% of NFL players will file for bankruptcy in their lifetime. Good to see that college degree really paid off.

    I have no love for the owners but at least they ponied up the money in the first place. In the end, however, the fans will go back to the NFL because we have the memory span of a nickel. We will call it “forgiveness” (see Mike Vick, Bill Clinton, and an otherwise endless list) but it is really just ignorance and apathy.

    Now, while the NFL is down, I am continuing my thong modeling career and would encourage all of you to use the search term “very fat man in speedo” to see my latest works. (Sorry to hijack the thread, Don). TL

    • 5:46 pm

      Nice to hear from you TL.

      I hope you’ve been keeping well and out of trouble.

      I had no idea that so many NFL superstars filed for bankruptcy. Moral bankruptcy sure, that’s a given, but I figured even the most extravagant among them would have figured a way to tuck a few million away for a rainy day or retirement. It’s not like they keep playing into their 50s after all.

      Good luck with the thong modelling, TL. If anyone can pull it off tastefully, I’m quite sure it’s you.

      All the best,

      Don

    • Sedate Me permalink
      2:21 pm

      You mentioned Micheal Vick and Bill Clinton together as if they shared something. Did I miss something? You don’t mean to suggest that, in addition to making them fight, torturing and killing them for fun, Vick had sex with the dogs too?

      Well, that little fact just pushes him over the line from “forgivable” to “unforgivable”.

  6. 5:43 pm

    Absolutely right – as always – Don

    The modern soccer players, with that beachball they use in matches and those lightweight pumps on their feet, with their personal trainers, and team tactics, are wimps compared to the players of my youth.

    They were men back then. They used a leather ball (with laces) that weighed a ton and grew heavier as the game progressed if it should be raining. So heavy was it that in order to kick it without breaking their toes they had to wear boots that weighed as much as those worn by deep-sea divers.

    As for ‘training’ – preparation for the match on a Saturday afternoon consisted of limiting themselves to just a couple of beers at lunchtime instead of the usual six.

    The team was selected by the manager on the basis of a sobriety test – the 11 players who could correctly count the number of fingers he held up in front of them (or come closest) making the team.

    Unlike now, ‘shoulder charges’ and crunching two-feet ‘sliding tackles’ were allowed. And at half-time, the players retired to the dressing room for a piss and a fag. And all this for just a few quid a week. How times have changed !!

    • 7:10 pm

      Many thanks Duncan,

      As your excellent comment clearly demonstrates – times have indeed changed. It’s time to bring back the field sobriety test, leather balls and common sense. It might just change my mind about taking in a game or even turning on the damned boob tube.

      All the best,

      Don

  7. 5:56 pm

    Teams today have trainers, strength and conditioning coaches, whirlpool spas, and a cadre of masseuses at their disposal. What ever happened to sucking it up, walking it off, and cleaning off the blood with your own spit? If you broke your right arm you learned to pitch with your left.

    • 7:13 pm

      Well said Bmj2k,

      In my view, if you’re going to be paid $30 million to chase after a damned ball the least you could do is accept the occasional charley horse without needing to be carried off the field on a stretcher.

      All the best,

      Don

  8. elizabeth3hersh permalink
    7:07 pm

    David Brooks writes in the New York Times today (We’re really good at thinking we’re great) that “it would be unthinkable for a baseball player(decades ago) to celebrate himself in the batter’s box after a home-run swing. Now it is not unusual.” He goes on to suggest that “we have shifted a bit from a culture that emphasized self-effacement – I’m no better than anybody else, but nobody is better than me – to a culture that emphasizes self-expansion.” I think TL encapsulated the gist of the article when he identified greed as the common denominator in sports and politics. Brooks expounded on this by wondering if the rise of consumption and massive debt tied into this inflated sense of self and entitlement. In BrooksKorner “our lives are given meaning by the service we supply to the nation.” I see none of that in sports, but then I don’t watch sports.

    • 7:49 pm

      Thank you Elizabeth,

      I’m going to have to read that article. I’d say, however, that the shift from self-effacement to self-expansion has been more than “a bit.”

      Always a pleasure to have you visit, Elizabeth.

      Best,

      Don

    • Sedate Me permalink
      2:27 pm

      Elizabeth, there’s no need to wonder. It’s a straight up fact. The normalcy of self-celebration (which in the general populace usually results in mindless consumption) has brought America to where it is today. What’s happened in sports reflects what has happened in society as whole. It’s just easier to spot in sports.

      Team sports used to be team games. There were stars, even superstars, but their egos weren’t so heavily stroked and their pockets weren’t filled with more money than they knew what to do with. Everyone had an important role to play in the success of the team. There was a collective purpose and teammates looked out for each other.

      The 1970’s Philadelphia Flyers were the perfect example of a team. While they had some great offensive talent, their success was a direct result of teamwork. Theirstars leaders didn’t celebrate themselves after a goal, they celebrated for the team. Nor were they paid much more than their teammates. Their stars leaders were expected to get involved in the rough stuff just as the tougher guys were expected to chip in some offence. It was about the team and their fans.

      Look closely at this clip from a typical Broad Street Bullies game. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJRkwpMVOUs Look at how they acted as a team.The fighting wasn’t merely individuals squaring off for personal glory, as it is today. It was about their team dominating the other team, proving they were a stronger unit. Nobody on their team was expendable and nobody was too good for anything. Their stars leaders put themselves on the line for their teammates and vice-versa. Captain Bobby Clarke was a small diabetic, but worked tirelessly and did whatever it took for the team to win. He’s the guy taking on a much bigger player in the beginning, a player his team later tries to punish. Later, Clarke jumps into Atlanta’s bench to rescue a trapped teammate.

      Today, it’s every man for himself. The game is all about the individual. Most players only care about their own stats. There is no loyalty. There is no common purpose. There is no mutual respect. The fans are just their to pay them tributes. It’s a game full of cheap shots, prima-donnas and selfish and/or lacklustre efforts. Very few would risk loosing a tooth for a teammate these days. Today’s motto is “You’re on your own, pal.”

      And it’s all driven by the pursuit of maximum personal profit. The entire enterprise has morphed to reward the top few percent, as if that (and corporate aggrandizing) is the entire purpose of the enterprise. They get outlandish treatment and completely unjustifiable salaries, yet they actually think they deserve more. Worse yet, most observers agree and say “They deserve whatever the market will bear.” Many support these obscene salaries and whatever is done to get them, even if the money comes directly out their own pockets.

      For some reason, this all sounds rather familiar.

      • elizabeth3hersh permalink
        6:49 am

        SM, I had the pleasure of dating a baseball player back in the 80s (Shane Rawley of the Philadelphia Phillies). One of my first questions to him was “so, what football team do you play for?” He left his briefcase in the back of my jeep after a date. I couldn’t resist rifling through the contents before I returned it to him. I don’t remember all the specifics, but I do remember being blown away by a bunch of financial documents that were in the case (that, and a brief note from Bill Murray instructing him to “break a leg”). I had no idea sports figures were paid SO WELL. He certainly didn’t seem full of himself, but this was going back a few decades. I really don’t get all the sports mumbo-jumbo, but if someone sat beside me and gave me a play-by-play of the physics involved, I could get real interested.

        • Sedate Me permalink
          1:17 pm

          Philadelphia Phillies? I see that you don’t know your sports, not that I consider that a failing anymore.

          But those Phillie guys hit balls with clubs. I was talking about the Philadelphia Flyers hockey club, circa the 1970’s. They slid around on sheets of ice and hit pieces of rubber with sticks. Actually, they hit everything and everyone within arm’s reach, as the clip demonstrated. I was really just using them as a metaphor for how both sports and greater society has changed for the worse. (Or was I being too obtuse?)

          Anyway, I think I used to have a Shane Rawley baseball card. You may have been impressed by this guy’s income back then. But, if I recall, the guy was a middle-of-the-pack pitcher in the 1980’s. I’m sure his modern equivalent is “earning” several times what he did just to toss balls around and his ego is probably equally inflated. (Supposedly, Crawley now owns a bar in Sarasota.)

          I think perhaps the most telling point of your story is that a guy who plays games all day is walking around with a briefcase…and it’s not full of weed and bags of chips!

  9. Russell permalink
    10:16 pm

    I’m afraid a “socially acceptable way to explore your curiosity about showering with other men” is an understatement when it comes to sports these days. Take football for instance. How many times have you seen a quarterback slap a man on the tuckus in those skintight pants, and then lick his fingers before the next play? Not to mention some of these “positions”. No self respecting man would play as a “tight end” if he prefers the company of a good woman, that’s for sure!

    I enjoy your blog, sir.

    • 11:32 pm

      Many thanks Russell,

      Tuckus slapping and finger licking? Good Christ! It sounds like the seedy side of Pleasantview on a Saturday night. Makes me glad I haven’t been paying attention to the sport since the players started taking to the field like walking Hummers.

      Appreciate your stopping in, Russell. All the best,

      Don

  10. Dr Tim permalink
    10:31 pm

    Dear Don

    I’ve never followed sports myself, but heartily agree that those boys are over-paid and over-fussed; and I understand that, in your country, many of them are admitted to decent educational institutions on the basis of their ability to kick an inflated bladder, rather than any intellectual gift that they may have? Insane.

    Best wishes, keep up the good work

    Dr Tim

    • 11:33 pm

      Thank you Dr. Tim,

      As fine a diagnosis as I’ve heard in some time. Insane it is. And it’s time we stopped.

      All the best,

      Don

  11. 10:52 pm

    Don, did you play professional sports? I think you took some hits to the head as a youth. Might explain some things.

    • 11:44 pm

      Many thanks Bearman,

      Always good to hear from you lad. To answer your question – no. I never played professional sports. I was an alternate on my college badminton squad and toyed with the notion of a retirement career in lawn bowling but unfortunately I blew out my knee after a particularly violent sneeze back in the Fall of 89 (actually it was just after the Fall of 89 which, coincidentally, occurred in the autumn of 89). Still with me?

      So, no. I’ve never played professional sports. Having said that, I’ve never been a tree either and that doesn’t mean I can’t have an opinion on the quality of a 2 x4.

      As to taking some hits to the head in my youth? Absolutely. But they weren’t too severe. We tended not to try to remove each other’s heads off when we were playing a game of football. I suspect it may be because we weren’t dressed like the lead robot in that Transformers movie and didn’t think we were invincible. We also had empathy and common sense but that’s a whole other damned story.

      Anyway, always a pleasure to hear from you Bearman. Go Bengals.

      All the best,

      Don

  12. 9:42 am

    Don –

    You’ve spun some great phrases in your overly-long lifetime but I believe you’ve topped yourself with this post. “Traded like chattel and drank like fish.” “Socially acceptable way to explore their curiosity about showering with other men.” “Sex orgies.” They’re all winners, much in the way the professional athletes are not, despite their many rings and bankruptcy filings.

    You’ll be happy to know that the NFL wants to expand the regular season by two games to 18. This steady creep has been going on for decades. Back in your day when men were men and were using razor-thin padding as “protection,” it helps to bear in mind that the regular season was only 4 games long. It kind of puts in all in perspective. Of course, there were no commercial breaks so each game was actually just one hour long, rather than the 3-1/2 hour leviathans they are today. They may have had a short season, but they played the whole hour on both sides of the ball.

    Of course, the championship was often decided by a head count of surviving players. If one team could come up with 11 (counting coaching staff and waterboys), they were often able to get their decimated opponent to forfeit the game.

    If you’re looking for longevity, check out major league baseball. These kids are getting drafted when they’re 18 and playing until they’re in their mid-50s. I think Nolan Ryan set the bar a bit too high when he chose to keep playing into his early 70s. Most of the Atlanta Braves pitching staff that won several league championships and like, one, World Series back in the early 90s is still kicking around the league, making a mockery of our Social Security system. They cash the checks with the same hand they’ll be pitching an inning and a half of middle relief later that day. Someone should probably do something about that.

    • 2:23 pm

      Many thanks Mr. Lion Tamer,

      Your notion of longevity has made me wonder if the time might not be right for the introduction of professional seniors’ leagues across the board. And by senior I don’t mean those individuals who are in their mid-forties who retired from the game 3 years ago – I mean real seniors.

      While it may not have the same speed and ferocity as the younger leagues, it would certainly have more heart (even if they are pace-maker driven). I for one would be happy to take in a game that featured a 70-year old Stan Mikita landing a prosthetic hip check against an 80-year old Gordie Howe.

      All the best, CLT, and thanks for visiting.

      Don

      • Sedate Me permalink
        5:22 pm

        Howe & Mikita? Damn straight, sir!

        Players of their eras (because both played for so long) were real men. Back then, players went into the corners with nothing more than a wooden stick and the hair on their head. Not only did a majority of players not wear helmets until about 1980, a couple goalies still played without masks in the early 70’s. Frozen rubber bullets, razor sharp blades, sticks, the occasional hammer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iI2mGQp83DA and the only protection these guys wore were a few pads stuffed with cotton.

        And what did they get paid? Gordie Howe, arguably the best player the game ever saw, earned in a 25 year long NHL career about what the highest paid players get per game. Granted, Gordie got good money in the WHA and was league MVP at 46, but he signed just to get his boys into the pros and because he missed the game.

        In person, Gordie was a very shy, modest, self effacing, guy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V–kp3FjTUU It was all about the team, his teammates and, in his case, family. No ego whatsoever and he played without a helmet until retiring at age 52.

        Even today’s hockey players are vastly overpaid pussies with huge egos and flapping mouths to match. “Ow. I got a hangnail! I’ll have to miss 15 games and buy a new Porsche to make me feel better.”

  13. 1:44 am

    “safeguarded their man-parts with hand-knit jockstraps.” I still do this on a daily basis for no apparent reason. I’m glad that you have now confirmed that this practice means I’m a manly man. Thanks Don!

    • 2:27 pm

      Thank you Dr. Cynicism,

      No apparent reason? Man-part safeguarding is just as important off the field as on. I think it’s an entirely sensible course of action.

      All the best,

      Don

  14. 3:11 am

    but, don, if we didn’t have pro athletes, who would the kardashian sisters date?

    • 2:29 pm

      Thank you Nonnie,

      I’d suggest that state and federal politicians could quite easily fill the “dating” void left by the loss of professional athletes. It’s not like they don’t have some prior experience in that area.

      All the best Nonnie. Hope you’re well.

      Don

    • Sedate Me permalink
      6:53 pm

      Horses?

  15. lookingforsomethingtofind permalink
    4:58 am

    Don, it’s like you’ve read my mind, sports (from what I’ve read at least, old games on tv, and talks of how awesome it used to be) used to be so much better, no pitch count, it wasn’t about fame, it was you loved the game. If they had a time machine, and modern players went back, I’m pretty sure they would all seem like pruning, she-men compared to todays players. Ted Williams, did all he did with out steroids, and the only breaks he had, was something called World War II, and the Korean War. One last point, A-rod dated Madonna, DiMaggio dated Monroe, after he retired, sums it all up.

    • 3:27 pm

      Thank you lookingforsomethingtofind,

      You summed it up well, lad. My thanks.

      All the best.

      Don

  16. lookingforsomethingtofind permalink
    5:03 am

    Also I don’t usually post articles, but this made me think of a piece I read in the times

    http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/01/nyregion/01flatbush.html

  17. 8:30 am

    Spot on, Don. Oh how I long for a return to the days when a crowd stood as one, not sat, shivering in the rain, chewing through a lard pie witha warm brown seepage masquerading as gravy. Damn, these days, even the sun shines too much. I cannot remember the last soccer (I’m in England) game that was played on a snow covered pitch. It all went pear-shaped when they started wearing tights against the cold. Now it’s gloves, snoods, and heaven knows what. Have you noticed that they’ve even started sticking tape down their legs ? What’s all that about ?

    • 3:44 pm

      Thank you single malt monkey,

      How can one not long for time when lard pies with seepage where standard fare at a sporting event. I’ve never had one myself but if it tastes half as good as it sounds I expect the line-up at the concession stand would be halfway around the block.

      I don’t know what these damned athletes are jamming in their socks, jerseys and underpants these days but I don’t care for any of it. As far as I can see the use for tape in sports is on your hockey stick (in moderation) or to splash over a particularly deep cut until such time as someone can find a needle and thread to stitch you up properly.

      All the best and thanks for stopping by, single malt. Always nice to hear from you.

      Best regards.

      Don

  18. 8:42 am

    Three cheers! Great assessment of the situation. Although you should get a DVD of an Australian Rules Football game just for comparison – NO protection worn at all.🙂

    Still ridiculous salaries and many of them have no sense of responsibility at all. I could write a list a mile long of our sportspeople that get themselves into trouble of various sorts.

    Google names like Brendan Fevola, Shane Warne and Wayne Carey just to name three.

    • Sedate Me permalink
      7:01 pm

      Yeah. But considering Australia’s past as a penal colony, they should be proud that their athletes don’t get into more trouble than they do.

      • 3:52 am

        I am assuming you are American.🙂 If you choose to check your history, you will find the good ol’ US of A was ALSO a penal colony and in fact MORE convicts were shipped to the USA than to Australia. Not something that is actually publicised much in the USA, but I have met a few Americans who are aware of that little historical tidbit. Now, if you are NOT American, well, you’ve learnt something anyway!🙂

    • 3:48 pm

      Thank you Team Oyeniyi,

      I’ve seen those Australian Rules Football lads and have to give them full credit for putting their lives on the line every time they step onto the field. I haven’t watched much (I find the scrums somewhat unsettling) but it really does look like something out of the past.

      Perhaps now that I’ve sworn off everything except for the seniors PGA (and even they are on thin ice – that Freddy Couples irks me to no end) I’ll give it some more attention.

      All the best.

      Don

      • 6:21 pm

        Oh, no, Don! Wrong football code – if it had scrums, that was a form of Rugby! Totally different game altogether. I find it rather slow and boring, although as an ex-pat Kiwi I am committing a sin by speaking ill of the national game. No, AFL is a totally different game! No it is not soccer either – THAT is a game I do not understand, where the score can be 0-0 or 1-0 and they rave abut it being a great game!

        • 6:32 pm

          Thank you for the clarification Team Oyeniyi,

          Clearly, I’m entirely out of my league (excuse the pun) here. I’ll google the names you provided and try to educate myself a bit on the players and the game.

          Many thanks.

          Don

  19. Chris permalink
    6:40 pm

    I couldn’t agree more. Between reality TV “stars” and professional athletes it’s a dead heat to determine which wastes more of our country’s time and money. The fact that some trailer trash slut from New Jersey can wake up one day and get a reality show which catapults her onto the TV and computer screens of the nation and into the tabloids is just further evidence of the decline of western civilization.

    Let me know when you plan a vacation since I’d love to guest-post on your blog.

    • 3:55 pm

      Thank you Chris,

      I fully agree with you about the reality television stars. I’d suggest, however, that rather than being “further evidence” of the decline of western civilization, they’re clear harbingers that the four horsemen have saddled up and are getting ready to ride.

      If I’m ever in the market for a guest post, Chris, I’ll be sure to let you know. I don’t vacation much – the odd trip to visit my sister-in-law and perhaps a day or two of fishing but I’ll certainly keep your offer in mind.

      All the best,

      Don

    • Sedate Me permalink
      4:12 pm

      The biggest difference is that Reality TV stars get paid a hell of lot less and nobody pays to see them or buy merchandise with their name on it…yet.

      • 4:34 pm

        Sadly, I think you may be mistaken there, Sedate Me, about nobody paying to see them.

        I thought I read somewhere that for the right price any number of reality stars could be rented by the hour to attend bar openings, corporate events or to perform at your child’s 8th birthday party.

        And while I haven’t checked, I’m sure some enterprising ass out there has already started manufacturing Snooki Cookies.

        All the best,

        Don

  20. 7:10 pm

    Amen.

  21. Sedate Me permalink
    8:16 pm

    “I want to see athletes pulling groins, damn it, not pushing shampoo or shilling for Pepsi cola.” – Mr Mills

    The amount of corporate shilling that goes on in sports is now beyond obscene. Players making 20-30 times what their predecessors made are shilling for any company willing to provide them with a line of cocaine. Most stock car drivers are now actually incapable of speaking an entire sentence, even in their private lives, without dropping the name of a corporate sponsor.

    But even the owners of these multi-billion dollar enterprises are whoring themselves to any corporation stupid enough to waste money splattering their name on stadiums, playing surfaces and even players. Stadiums are no longer named after men like Kennedy or Roosevelt, or after veterans, but after porn websites and tampon manufacturers.
    The Rogers Centre? Isn’t that where I go to bitch about my shitty cable service or rent a movie on VHS?

    I’ll give the NFL credit for the fact that (outside of corporately named stadiums like Enron Field, Adelphia Coliseum, PSInet Stadium and MCI Worldcom Centre ) they’ve at least kept the playing field clear of billboards.

    • 4:56 pm

      Thank you kindly Sedate Me.

      I have to hand it to you lad – you’ve got a wonderful knack for honing in on the truth while still managing to provide me with a damned good laugh. Tampons and porn sites, indeed.

      Since they’re already at the trough I’d suggest owners go whole hog and started selling rights to their team names in addition to their stadiums. The Pittsburgh Prudentials has a nice ring to it as does the Boston Pizzas, the Tampa Bay Twitters and the Orlando Samsung electronics. The opportunities are endless.

      Thanks for the comment, Sedate Me.

      All the best,

      Don

  22. Wayne permalink
    9:29 pm

    NO WAY DIPWADE!
    This is your most supidsests one yet man first you say we dont exercise enouhf than you say are athletes suck !which one is it make up your mind you dork stick. Also you say you are a athelitic supporter hahaha you relly are a moran. I”LL let you try and fiugre it out. Plus you say theyre giants which if you thoguth about it aren”t realy true!! gianst ar fake like dragons and dinasars you should read a book sometime instead of just doing this thing.. you must relly hate Ameriac to say such crap about us sportsteems are you from Brtiland were they play badmintin as there natianale sport? that wood explan a lot. And what”S wrong with steroids? my buddy Lance takes them all the time and so do I and were totally pumped plus we gets them cheep on black market so it”s not like you say at all. I bet you woodn”t say this stuff if you were in a locker room with a locker room full off football player”s in a locker room becase they”d kick your wrinkled ass. Hahaha! America rules!

    • 5:20 pm

      Wayne.

      Thank you for the comprehensive comment. You’ve clearly harnessed all of your brain power in the composition of this wide-ranging diatribe. I suspect it was as tiring for you to write it was tiresome for me to read.

      I can assure you Wayne that I do not hate America. I’m concerned, however, that the combination of an inferior education system, poor parenting, a lack of unified moral code and a steady diet of foods whose primary ingredients are sugar, corn syrup and Blue Food Dye #1 may be creating the “supidsests” generation of young Americans in the history of recorded time. I’m afraid, however, that I have no tangible evidence to substantiate those concerns.

      I’m delighted to discover that you’re a patriot, Wayne. I’m not sure if your love of America is based on notions like free speech, freedom of assembly and due process or whether it relates more to things like ready access to Girls Gone Wild DVDs but regardless, I’m pleased as punch.

      All my best to Lance.

      Don

  23. 3:45 am

    That’s funny as hell!

    And I agree–sports has become big business, every bowl game is sponsored by some corporation. There’s an old essay by E.B. White that addresses this situation (in fact, it predicts it). It’s entitled, “The Decline of Sport”.

    This country’s priorities are completely out of line: sports stars, entertainment stars, CEO’s, and politicians make the most money; while teachers, police officers, firefighters, and other absolutely essential personnel, make the least.

    • Sedate Me permalink
      1:36 pm

      I use this rule of thumb. “The harder you work, the less you earn. The more you earn, the less you work.”

    • 1:15 pm

      Thank you Scott,

      I’m not familiar with that E.B. White story. I’ll have to see if I can find it at the Library. It sounds like an interesting read.

      All the best and thanks for the comment.

      Don

  24. 4:55 pm

    True that! I think all the endorsements and shit take the athlete’s focus away from the passion he has for the game itself. Now at the back of his mind he’d be all “if i score the winning goal (or whatever) i’d get another product to endorse!”

    Sigh.

  25. Woman permalink
    12:13 am

    Holy sweet taco stands!!!! I love it!!! I truly enjoyed you wit and your sassy writings!!! I am off to read some more posts of yours to chuckle over!!! Thank-you!

    • 1:18 pm

      Thank you Woman,

      I have to say that after some of gender confusion I’ve run into responding to comments, I’m grateful for the straight forward moniker “woman.” It takes the guess work out of things for me and I appreciate it.

      I also appreciate the use of the word “sassy.” A fine word and one that should be used more often.

      All the best and thanks for visiting Woman.

      Don

  26. SupaFiiineGurlxx permalink
    6:21 pm

    Why you hatin’ gramps?

    Yall old peeps need to chilll. fa reelz. smoke some weed, kick it wit cho homiezz.

    • 7:53 pm

      Thank you SupaFiiineGurlxx,

      Good Christ…again with the gramps. For the last damned time I’m not your grandfather! Unlike you young people I’ve kept close track of my offspring and last time I checked none of them had named any of their children SupafiiineGurlxx.

      And, while I appreciate your advice, unfortunately most of my homiezz are deadzz so I doubt there will be any kickin’ in my future tonight. I am considerably chilled however and was just thinking about putting on another sweater.

      All the best and thanks for visiting.

      Don

  27. naturallyglee permalink
    3:19 am

    i like it !🙂
    i may be semi-part of the young people today, but i definitely agree on your notes here.
    in relation to it, where do i put someone i know, who happens to be a relative, who rants about his/her family situation or any person for that matter on facebook (or any social network site)? :))
    maybe we’ll need a subcategory for this😀

  28. 6:19 pm

    I stopped watching football right around the time “men” with names like Keyshaun started playing the game. Football players have names like Ken, John, Lawrence, Joe, or Dan. They have nicknames such as Mean Joe Green, or The Snake, or The Ghost not Neon Deion.

    Buncha pansies if you ask me.

  29. Alex Pittman permalink
    8:27 pm

    ok first off sports are so much better now than ever, if i wanted to watch a fat guy hit a 75 mph 275 ft ill go to an adult softball game(babe ruths homeruns were on avg against 75-80mph pitches) . Next, football yeah in your day they didnt wear helmets or have the IR but thats because defensive ends weighed about 200 lbs and ran a 40 in oh probobly 5 sec. NBA look up above the rim(im not an NBA fan but a NCAA fan). and athletes as role models well this one is tough (team player Chipper Jones gave money back to his team so they could sign better players, on a personnel level someone like tim hudson who has two charities he runs and is constantly seen in the community helping out). Personnally i think your unwilling to see the next step in sports has been taken and it is 95% positive and your focusing on the 5%negative.

  30. 11:30 pm

    We recently moved from the US to Australia. Here, the highest paid athlete earns about 1 million for his contract – still too much money, but a damn site better than the absurdity they are paid in the US. The rugby players wear no protective gear other than the ‘cup’ and from what I can ascertain, they practice their sport by running at brick walls. When they retire, they aren’t rich, so they head into bad careers like insurance sales and small business owning. It’s the way it should be.

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