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In Praise of Young People

I’ve taken some knocks for my entirely accurate portrayal of today’s young people as little more than tattoo-clad, gormless malcontents.

After some consideration and in the interest of balance, I have compiled a short list of positives about damned young people today.

If nothing else, I’m fair.

They’re Resourceful

They may not be able to find North America on a world map but lock a young person in a bathroom with some Tylenol, grape jelly, household cleaner and a ball-point pen and nine times out of ten they’ll be able to fashion some sort of lethal narcotic and a workable pipe to smoke it in.

They Reopen the Debate on Evolution

Yesterday I watched a young person spend 25 minutes puzzling over how to peel a banana. While it was troubling to observe, it clearly calls into question the concepts of evolution and natural selection. As a deeply spiritual man, I take that as a positive.

They Have a Halfway Decent Understanding of Economics

Unfortunately, the “half” is limited to the concept of demand. Supply seems to have slipped their notice entirely.

They Tend to Stay Indoors

The fact that young people spend their formative years plonked down front of an X-box in nothing but their Y-fronts may have long-term physical and mental health ramifications (and provide for a disturbing visual) but we senior’s appreciate having free-run of the libraries, museums and parks. It’s nice to feed the damned pigeons without gaggles of young people running about getting fresh air and exercise.

They’re Confident

I have to admit it takes a certain amount of moxie to demand that people take you seriously when you’re parading around with dinner plates in your ears and chains dangling from your nostrils while sporting a plume of underpants and a t-shirt that reads “Where the Bitches At?”

They Know Their Rights

Smack one damned young person over the head with your cane and you’ll soon discover that while they’re oblivious to notions of decency, civility, common sense and morality – they’re fully aware of the laws that protect them and the civil litigation options available to them.

They Like to Share

When I was a lad I tended to keep my thoughts to myself – not because I was selfish but because I assumed no one was interested in things like a description of the exact shade of my morning urine. Young people today, however, are more than happy to share all manner of fascinating personal tidbits online at the drop of a hat. And, if you’re lucky, they may even post pictures.

They’re Fierce Individualists

Ask any one of them. They’ll all tell you the same thing.

They’re Cautious

In my day young people fled the family home at the age of 17, rolled the dice and took their chances in the great wide world. Young people today, however, tend to hedge their bets, hoard their cookies and stay firmly affixed to the familial teat until they’ve cashing an inheritance check and ready to safely strike out on their own.

They Have a Wonderful Sense of Humor

Provided of course that the joke is not at their expense. If it is…they seem to get rather tetchy.

I trust this makes amends to any damned young person that I may have offended in the past and clearly demonstrates that my views on youth are objective, balanced and based entirely in fact.

346 Comments leave one →
  1. 10:49 pm

    I ❤ you, Don. Thanks for telling it like it is.

    • 12:02 am

      Many thanks Fantastic Forest.

      I appreciate your stopping in to visit.

      All the best,


      p.s. In truth, I really don’t know what “<3" means. I just hope it doesn't stand for "loathe", "detest" or "fully intend to kill."

  2. 10:58 pm

    You’ve hit the nose on the head, Don. I’d just like to add one more.

    They do not take offense easily.
    This blog will certainly not offend them because most of them cannot read it. There is not one single OMG or emoticon in your whole post.

    • 12:09 am

      Thank you bmj2K,

      A fine addition. And I suspect you’re right about young people not reading this article. Not only does it lack those damned emoticons and pithy abbreviations, it’s chock full of really annoying punctuation. Young people hate that.

      Good to hear from you, son. Hope all is well with you.

      Best regards,


      • 5:30 am

        I’m young. 22 to be exact. I enjoy your wisdom, and your wit, yet at the same time I’m celebrating. Of course generations change, and yes we are far more decadent than your peers probably were. We have different quirks. In your youth you had a practice of giving a girl a wedding ring and then having children. At my age I much prefer to see if the baby is as awesome as I am, and only then give her a wedding ring, sort of as a thank you gift. You see, we all have our own quirks, don’t we?

      • JohnSadie@B15 permalink
        2:47 pm

        im 18 to be truthful mate things change! We arent all criminals by the way i study hard at college on the hopes of joining the police. But yeah my generation is the worst we love to party because theres nothing else to do!

        • 3:15 pm

          Completely have to disagree with you John. There are plenty of things to do other than party and act stupid. I’m not saying that you do this so don’t get defensive. Good luck on joining the police. One more thing, learn to capitalize and use punctuation, otherwise people like Don won’t take you seriously since you don’t even know your basics like grammar. I for one consider it rude and insulting.

          • 4:13 pm

            “lock a young person in a bathroom with some Tylenol, grape jelly, household cleaner and a ball-point pen and nine times out of ten they’ll be able to fashion some sort of lethal narcotic and a workable pipe to smoke it in” this made me giggle because it’s true. but I have to ask–did you Google that? because it really does seem like those ingredients would yield a narcotic. or bomb. wait–how would i know that? i am truly a product of my generation. p.s. i am aware that i haven’t capitalized any of the words that should be capitalized here. i do have a B.A. in English from an accredited institution. For some reason, however, because this is a conversational register instead of an academic register, I see it as appros to let some of the standard rules go in the interest of keeping the pace of a conversational tone. Similar to how actual conversation rarely consists of actual sentences, but instead is constructed from phrases and clauses. *shrug

      • 3:10 pm

        I’m young too, 24. Although I have the mindset of a 30 something year old and I feel like I’m 40 sometimes. Just for the record, I agree with you. I hate people my age and I do my best to avoid talking to them for the reason of their incompetence, lack of class and all around fearless stupidity as if they are all invincible. Also, I believe the most annoying thing about people my age is there overwhelming sense of laziness. Can you really not take the time to spell out an entire word? You should read the blog I wrote a couple weeks back on how I hate being associated with the usual youngsters of today. I think I’ll become a regular reader of yours.

    • munchkn permalink
      1:34 pm

      Actually, wait, yes it is. I’m one of those 19 year olds that was probably born 40. My peers very seriously trouble me at times. And I’d like to point out that I was reading from a very young age and read most of the stereotypical novels you read in school (To Kill A Mockingbird, etc.) years before we actually did read them in school. But I will admit that most of the people I encounter in my university have trouble stringing together coherent words and sentences (and yet they get B’s and not F’s).
      Anyway, I found you on the wordpress homepage and am now subscribing. This post was hilarious and not exactly what I expected. Looking forward to reading more!

    • Sedate Me permalink
      8:23 pm

      Slapping around youth in a literate manner is akin to mocking the Amish on TV. Because neither participate in the respective medium, (Amish on TV and young people in proper English) you can say the worst about them and totally get away with it.

      Rest assured that they do the same to us in their Twit Zones.

  3. 11:05 pm

    I didn’t think your normal portrayal of young people applied to me until you used my middle name in this blog post… “Gormless.”

    • 12:31 am

      Thank you Mr. Jacket,

      Interesting choice. My uncle, Malcolm Foresight Mills, gave his children some doozies. There was Harrison Bloody Idjit Mills, Heather Daft as a Post Mills and poor little Timothy Unplanned and Possibly a Bastard Mills. Try growing up with those names…

      All the best and thanks for visiting.


      • 12:54 am

        “Unplanned and Possibly a Bastard” made my stomach hurt.

        • 12:58 am

          I don’t think it made him feel particularly well either. Especially since his father had his name changed at the age 11 and took the “Possibly” part out.

          • 7:24 pm

            Now, that’s FUNNY, Don! Seriously, a side-splitter.

          • Sedate Me permalink
            8:30 pm

            They didn’t have Maury Pauvich and his DNA tests back then, did they? I know they had blood-type tests at least as far back as the 70’s, but that wasn’t always that helpful.

            So how was the “Possible” dropped? A Dunking Stool confession, perhaps?

            • 8:41 pm

              Thanks for the interest, Sedate Me.

              No dunking stool required in this particular case. My uncle Malcolm wasn’t the most perceptive man in the world but after 11 years eventually took notice of the fact that wee Timothy didn’t have the Mill’s ears or the family chin and was clearly black. A bit of a family scandal as it turned out.

              All the best,


  4. 11:21 pm

    Brilliant Don. You’ve learned a lot from Facebook’n haven’t you? Though I can’t call myself a young person any more, I can admit to some serious gormlessness, just like straight jacket dude above. I think GORMLESS would make a wonderful tattoo though. I just love that word.


    Thanks for coming back here and making me laugh again.

    • 12:50 am

      Thank you, David.

      Gormless is a fine word. One of favorites actually – especially when used in reference to young people. I keep a list of young people descriptors. In addition to gormless malcontents, I also have things like:

      – chowder-headed shortstacks
      – slack-jawed nincompoops
      – feckless peckerheads
      – panty-waisted dimwits
      – braying jackasses
      – tweet-farting morons
      – drug-addled poindexters
      – pinheaded dullards
      – fubsy layabouts
      – whinging sandbaggers
      – baggy-panted simpletons
      and the always popular
      – incorrigible assclowns

      It’s another positive about young people, they inspire all manner of description.

      All the best,


      • 1:26 am

        My God, those are simply priceless. Such wonderful alliteration. Fubsy layabouts!! I hereby vow to use that properly within the next 24 hours. Amen!!

        • 2:38 am

          Sadly, nobody at work did anything stupid enough to merit that grand insult. There’s always tomorrow …

      • 7:32 pm

        My father-in-law bless him used to call one of the sons a “Gold Brick”. He was kind of a gold brick.

  5. 11:43 pm

    It pleases me to see you have made the effort to accentuate the positive! Well done, Mr Mills. I welcome your return.

    • 12:55 am

      Many thanks Pie,

      I like to think I’m damned upbeat! A regular a Cock-Eyed Optimist (which, coincidentally was the more positive but still rather unfortunate middle name that my uncle Malcolm Foresight Mills gave to his final son, Owen Cock-Eyed Optomist Mills. see above if you’re at all interested)

      But I digres.

      Very nice to hear from you again. I hope you’re well.

      All the best

      • fireandair permalink
        7:17 pm

        Mr. Mills, I’m afraid that even TALKING about young people in a positive way has caused you to momentarily become like one of them and misspell “optimist” and “digress.” You even left out a period at the end.

        Please begin cataloging their endless faults once more or else you’ll start typin like dis sune, and your punctuation will go the way of the Non-Plumber’s-Crack-Pants-Waist.

        By the way, young readers will notice that I referred to Mr. Mills as MR. Mills, because one should speak to elders with some respect and formality.

        • 7:54 pm

          Thank you very much, fireandair.

          I appreciate you bringing those mistakes to my attention. Obviously, not my finest moment.

          As you suggest, it’s likely the effect of going soft on damned young people. At this rate, I’ll soon be peppering my prose with emoticons and ROFLs.

          Thanks again,


  6. 12:37 am

    Donald, I’m so glad you’ve taken up the blog again. I had nothing to live for when you packed it up for a while, and someone has to have the gumption to keep these damned feckless young people in order.

    • 1:56 am

      Thank you Matt,

      I lack many qualities but I do like to think I have certain amount of gumption.

      I appreciate your taking the time to visit, Matt. Thanks too for the kind words.

      All the best,


  7. 1:16 am

    They are full of “supply” They can supply you with any number of excuses why, after spending 7 years to get a 4 year college degree, they are back to living at home with their parents and don’t have a job.

    • 2:00 am

      Many thanks Bearman,

      Now I like that. You’re seeing the positive in my seeing the positive. Well done. I’d like to build on this damned goodwill by pointing out that a reasonable number of young people also understand the supply side of cannabis sales and bong distribution.

      Appreciate the comment Bearman.

      All the best.


      • 1:42 pm

        Uh oh…I think I have aged enough in our relationship to start turning into you.

  8. Vanessa permalink
    2:27 am

    Mr. Mills, as one of the “damned young people” (I’m 17 and preparing to leave home), I feel the need to congratulate you on your accurate portrayal of the teens in the world today. I look forward to your posts every week; they entertain me and give me a list of things I should not aspire to. Thank you, I look forward to more posts.

    Best wishes,

    • 2:44 am

      Many thanks Vanessa,

      It’s always very gratifying to hear from a sensible and polite young person. It’s also rather rare.

      I appreciate your taking the time to comment and wish you all the best in your endeavors.


  9. 2:41 am

    I wish my 20-something sons would read this. Spot on!! Hilarious as usual, Mr. Mills!

  10. Wayne permalink
    3:23 am

    You get more stupidar each day time dip-wade. Liek you say we could make drugs out of grape jelly which is totally the most stupidast thing i’ve ever listened too here you say. Yoo cant make drugs out off grape jelly moron. Have you ever read abook on how to???? Heres a clue, theres a thing called “a libary” ever herd of one diaper pantes? You make me laugh my buddy Jay used to own a grow op and he needed all kinds of hydraponic lightbuld lampbulbs and special soil and anyway they make meth in secrete labratorrys by sicnetists so its not like you say at all. Plus we have to go outside sometimes or else wed always be inside. Think about it before you speak the next thing here. You’re a turd streek in gochys and sos your asshole.

    • 5:56 pm

      Greetings young Wayne,

      I really don’t know what to make of you son. After rereading your last few comments I can’t decide whether you’re having a lark, intensely stupid or a combination of the two.

      In the sake of building our burgeoning relationship I’ll assume you’re not trying to pull the wool over my eyes and are just your regular, run of the mill, wayne-in-the-ass young person venting some spleen.

      Rather than engage in debate this time around, Wayne, I’d like to express some concern about the nature of the buddies you are associating with. If I were you, son, I’d be careful about getting too close to anyone who is involved in the manufacturing or distribution of illegal drugs. You’re already at high risk of going to prison for bludgeoning the English language to death with a blunt object (i.e., your head) and I’d hate to see that compounded with a serious drug felony.

      Being a wayne-in-the-ass on this blog is one thing – but the phrase may take on a much darker and more sinister connotation should you end up in the big house.

      Stick to the straight and narrow, Wayne, and you still may achieve your dream of one day becoming an air conditioner.

      Best regards,

      Don Mills

      • 10:22 pm

        I love sarcasm, wit, and satire. Your reply to his comment made me laugh so hard it almost surprised me. I appreciate that there are still people like you to tell it like it is. I am 24 years of age, and when I see today’s teenagers I am sad. In less then a decade the youth of America has fallen so far. Something must be done.

        All the best,


      • aunaqui permalink
        10:26 pm

        Wow.. this response was even funnier than your original post. Definitely subscribing (before I forget!).

    • 9:49 pm

      Wow dude… just stop. Please.

      By the way, there is no such thing as a “libary”.

    • Doc permalink
      8:00 pm

      Wayne, as I young person myself I am very concerned with your response to Don. There was not a single sentence in your post that was correct. you spelled almost everything wrong, and clearly have no respect for grammar. But you sure did offer Don more material as you completely proved his stereotype right about young people. Way to go!

      And Wayne, what worries me the most is that these days, there is God-damned spell check as you are typing. See all those red underlines under your words as you type? Those mean WRONG! not “good job you made a sweet new word” I am embarrassed just re-reading that post. I am truly sorry for the rest of us positive young people that Wayne is out there making such an ass out of himself.

  11. 4:51 am

    When I was a lad I tended to keep my thoughts to myself – not because I was selfish but because I assumed no one was interested in things like a description of the exact shade of my morning urine.

    funny how things change when you get older. once you hit 80, that subject’s an icebreaker.

    allow me to add one more thing to your list, don. young people have extraordinarily developed thumbs. i suspect it’s from all the texting. i know i wouldn’t want to thumb-wrestle with any of them.

    • 6:02 pm

      Thank you Nonnie,

      Very true. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the phrase “school bus yellow” in the past month. An icebreaker, indeed, and for many of the single lads down at the seniors’ centre a sure fire pick up line.

      All the best, Nonnie.


  12. 5:57 am

    …makes amends?
    Works for me! Always a delight!

  13. elizabeth3hersh permalink
    8:23 am

    Hellava post, Don. I enjoy your posts more than my Sunday paper ritual, and that’s saying a lot.

    • 7:57 pm

      My sincere thanks, Elizabeth.

      As a man who enjoys his Sunday paper, I take that as high praise indeed.

      All the best,


  14. 8:43 am

    Nice to see you back! And very fair indeed to balance things out with a bit of praise. Well done.

  15. Pattrish permalink
    12:26 pm

    @Wayne…It’s obvious to me that you fall into the categories mentioned by our dear literate friend, Mr. Mills. Three things come to mind:

    1. You must be high on your grape jelly concoction.
    2. You have no clue what a library is and what can be learned there.
    3. These’s a device called “spell check”. Try it out. You’d be amazed, again, you can learn.

    I’d also like to recommend a really good book. It’s called a dictionary.

    Have a nice day – outside.

    • 8:42 pm

      Thank you Pattrish,

      I think Wayne was trying to spell “Liberry.” Clearly, in addition to grape jelly, he’s been smoking those as well.

      Thanks for trying to set him straight. I doubt it will do any good but I think we all appreciate the effort.

      All the best,


  16. amela permalink
    12:42 pm

    hilarious! i love your blog!

  17. 2:09 pm

    Dear Mr. Mills,
    I am so happy to see that you are still here calling a spade a black, spiky, damned spade! You ARE fair!

    • 8:43 pm

      Wonderful to hear from you Shafali.

      I hope you’re well and look forward to visiting you soon.

      All the best,


  18. 4:11 pm

    Donald, I’m really proud of you. From your comment a couple months ago, I thought I’d never see the day. Young people still suck, but the rare few of them have some good qualities!

    • 10:43 pm

      Thank you Tori,

      I believe in giving all young people a fair shake. Preferrably by the scruff of the neck mind you.

      Lovely to hear from you.

      All the best,


  19. 4:14 pm

    You are quite funny, old man. 🙂

  20. 4:17 pm

    A change of title – and you get ‘freshly pressed’. Long overdue. You’re as wicked as ever – in the old-fashioned way of course.

  21. 4:20 pm

    Always good for a laugh! even if it is at my own expense…

    • 11:31 pm

      That’s the spirit, Ascentive.

      As my old dad always said “if you can’t laugh at yourself I’ll do it for you.”

      All the best,


  22. The Compulsive Writer permalink
    4:21 pm

    “Unfortunately, the “half” is limited to the concept of demand. Supply seems to have slipped their notice entirely”

    This was great!! I am always in need of a laugh so early in the morning. That is mostly the reason why I started my blog………….

  23. bigsheepcommunications permalink
    4:27 pm

    Not only did you make me snort and laugh out loud, you have increased my vocabulary – “gormless” sent me to the dictionary! Congratulations on your well deserved Freshly Pressed appearance.

    • 1:45 am

      Glad you enjoyed “gormless.” It was one of my old mum’s favorites. (Not that I ever gave her any cause to use it).

      Thanks for visiting, bigsheepcommunications.



      • Sedate Me permalink
        8:50 pm

        My old and august friend Frank used the term “gormless” quite often. Sadly he is no more.

  24. 4:29 pm

    Each of your points are so funny, but the clever award goes to:
    “They’re Fierce Individualists
    Ask any one of them. They’ll all tell you the same thing.”

    Great post!

    • 7:36 pm

      No kidding! This was exactly the train of my thinking while sitting outside the “Lets-all-dress-alike-to-be-individuals” store in the mall when my teen was inside looking at clothing… sigh.

      • 6:21 pm

        Thank you educlayton and anne.

        I wasn’t sure which retail outlet you might have been referencing when you mentioned the “Lets-all-dress-alike-to-be-individuals” store but then I realized it didn’t really matter seeing as how they’re all the damned same anyway.

        Many thanks for the visit and the comments.


  25. The Compulsive Writer permalink
    4:29 pm

    Oh, forgot to ask…. what do you consider young? old? Is there a middle ground? Just wondering where you’d classify me. 🙂

    • 6:28 pm

      Thank you TheCompulsiveWriter,

      I’ve avoided answering this question in the past because I think there is some considerable grey area and due to the fact that people don’t fit as neatly into compartments as much as I would like. Still, having said that, my rule of thumb is that I’m generally wary of anyone under 60, apprehensive of anyone under 50, suspicious of anyone under 40, contemptuous of anyone under 30 and terrified by anyone under 20.

      Individual results may vary, however.

      All the best,


  26. 4:35 pm

    This was hysterical! I’m lucky enough to have a few young daughters who are the rare type, but then again they were taught that money doesn’t grow on trees, they were taught to appreciate the little things in life and they were taught through consistancy that there are consequences to their actions, good or bad.
    You made me laugh so hard I almost spit my water on the computer screen, thanks for that!

    • 6:30 pm

      Thank you Christy,

      Sounds like you’re doing a damned fine job raising those gals. Keep up the good work.



  27. J Roycroft permalink
    4:35 pm

    Great article. Congrats on FP

  28. 4:37 pm

    Maybe you should look for some nice young people. If you tried, you might actually find them. Also, young people tend to stay closer to home today for two main reasons: 1) finding work in this economy is tough, even with a college degree 2) their parents encourage it. Most young people I know would perfer to be out holding their own in the world, without the dinner plates in their ears.

    • 6:37 pm

      Thank you MyCamera, My Friend,

      A fair point but the last time I put up a notice at the piggly wiggly reading “Old man seeks nice young people for fun and companionship” I received nothing but off-color and extremely distasteful replies.

      All the best,


  29. 4:42 pm

    Mr. Mills,

    I found your post on freshly pressed and laughed harder than I have in quite some time. After putzing around some of your older posts, I discovered that you may be in possession of one of the funniest blogs I’ve seen on this site so far. Speaking as a young person, I must say, you capture the majority of us fairly accurately, and anyone who would disagree is just a poop. Well done, sir.



    • 6:38 pm

      My sincere thanks lawlorbabble.

      I appreciate your taking the time to read some of the older entries.

      All the best,


  30. 4:43 pm

    Greetings in the loving and precious name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

    I am a Christian aged 29 and i am married but i dont have a child,very uneducated and very poor,I did not work,if you know the situation here in Zimbabwe.I dont even know if I can live a better life.And I am blind my left eye,the doctors need 150 US dollars to operate my eye Please,please I need your help Financially help to operate my eye and to start my own project.I dont want to steal,I dont want to steal because the treasure of the wickedness profit nothing.I want to work with my own hands.Please,please I just ask you by the grace of God to help me with financailly to out of this situation.I live in Zimbabwe ,Africa. And please can you send me with some free Christian Books and cd of christian music and bible.

    • Sedate Me permalink
      9:12 pm

      Sorry, pal. The best I’ve got is some copies of The Communist Manifesto and some late 1960’s editions of The Black Panther newspaper.

  31. kaiti g permalink
    4:51 pm

    I’m young! and I read it! We are interested in what your generation thinks of us. I agree with you, but I do think that if my younger generation tried, we could do something truly great. Its just a matter of taking the first step. Any how, we can read things without a OMG in it. I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re pretty funny, I loved the “resourceful” one. Have a sweet day!

    • 6:53 pm

      Thank you kaiti,

      Always good to hear from a young person with a good head on her shoulders.

      I trust your day will be “sweet” as well.

      Best regards,


  32. 4:56 pm

    Another young person stopping in to pretty much agree with you Don!!
    The last point about sense of humour is bang on, and something I definitely adhere to unfortunately ha! Great stuff, keep more of our awful affectations coming please! Gave you a link in my Blog today so people can check your stuff out if they haven’t already.
    Take a look and see if I fit in to your stereotypical young person

    • 6:54 pm

      Thank you Tom.

      I apologize for not having visited your site yet. As soon as I have a few minutes I’ll be sure pop by. I’ve always liked the Scots.



  33. 4:56 pm

    Most people seem to be unaware that the reason so many young people spend so much time indoors playing video games is that the economy (translation – JOBS) is/are in the toilet, and houses cost a fortune. I had to raise my sons in apartments, and I could see the vastly different way they related to the natural world and to getting out and doing anything outside, compared to the way I am. I grew up in a typical single family residential neighborhood, and we played outside a lot. Vastly different experience.

    • 8:01 pm

      Thank you Janet,

      While I appreciate your comment I’m not inclined to agree. To me, if there is a shortage of work that’s all the more reason to turn off the X-box and get out to start pounding the pavement. Or to do some volunteer work. Or take some courses and upgrade your skills. To just keep yourself in the damned game.

      In a competitive job market people need to try harder – not toss their hands up in the air and say “what’s the damned point.”

      Still, I appreciate hearing from you.

      Best regards,


  34. Oxymoronictonic permalink
    4:56 pm

    Brb, writing on my FB and Twitter how much i liked this post.

  35. 5:00 pm

    This is absolutely the best, most ‘spot on’ description of ‘young people’ I’ve ever read. I spent 30 years as a College teacher and I can say, without a word of a lie, that I’ve experienced every single one of these ‘types’ in my classes (particularly over the past 10 or so years). I am going to be reading all of your previous posts (I’m so glad you got Freshly Pressed – your blog is worth all the time I’ve wasted looking for really funny stuff!) Thank you, thank you, thank you for such an insightful and absolutely riotous (but unfortunately, completely true) portrayal of (ninety percent of) today’s ‘youth’ (who, I am afraid to say, are supposedly poised to take over the world – if, that is, they can figure out how to put on some decent clothes, get out of their parents’ basements, find the front door, learn what a ‘ job’ is, and what to do with one!)

    • 10:38 pm

      Many thanks Margo.

      A teacher for 30 years? You have my both my utmost respect and sympathy. I wouldn’t last a damned week.

      All the best and thanks for visiting.


  36. 5:04 pm

    we dont know how to date either…at least, i dont. this is my favorite FP feature of 2011…hilarious.

    • 10:41 pm

      Thank you dearexgirlfriend,

      I’ve touched on the fact that young people know nothing about romance. Dating nowadays consists of little more than quick tweets, cheap gropes and fumbling with condom packaging. Disgraceful.

      All the best and thanks for the compliment.


  37. 5:07 pm

    As yet another fellow young person in their early 20’s I applaud you on your accurate and unbiased description of today’s youth. I now feel compelled to check back on my own blog and see if I have any of these young people symptoms to hide…
    Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed, by the way!

    • 10:43 pm

      Thank you chibichunsa,

      Always a good idea to take some time for self-assessment. It’s key to becoming a better man.

      Many thanks for taking the time to leave me a comment.

      Kind regards,


  38. 5:14 pm

    lol! Thank you so much to show me how I am going to see tomorrow people that are like me today! That’s great!

    • 10:47 pm

      My pleasure. Just don’t try saying that three times fast.

      All the best and good luck to you.


  39. The Very Hungry Bookworm permalink
    5:16 pm

    I look at this from two angles- someone in my early 20s as well as a high school teacher.

    As I am reading this, I am looking around that the students that surround you and you are spot on.

    I applaud you.

    • 10:50 pm

      Thank you Very Hungry Bookworm.

      I’m curious. What is it you teach? “Angles” would suggest some form of math but for some reason I’m guessing English.

      All the best,


  40. 5:29 pm

    At least you’re honest. ^^

  41. Hayley permalink
    5:33 pm

    I enjoyed the post because a lot of it was funny, but it wasn’t really in praise of young people! I read some of your others as well and they were rather funny but you do generalise a lot…I’m 15 and I’m not like you describe most young people to be and I don’t know many other people my age who are.

  42. 5:33 pm

    Excellent! I’m shaping up for a post about the youth of today. I’m positively fuming most days at the state of the UK and its inhabitants. I’m not a genius, but even I can see where things are going wrong! I can see exactly your point!!

  43. 5:34 pm

    Mr. Mills,

    This has to be the funniest article I have read in years. As an “elderly enthusiast” (I regularly get together with my equally feisty grandmother) it is delightful to read such an accurate portrayal of today’s youth. Her favourite term is “Bloody Nannies” – naturally used to describe the wannabe thugs in her neighbor hood that run away the minute she starts giving them hell.

    I will continue to follow – and forward the link to Granny.



    • 7:25 pm

      Thank you skinnyFAT,

      Your grandmother sounds like a charming woman. Please pass on my best regards.

      Thanks for visiting and for introducing me to the terms “bloody nannies” and “elderly enthusiast.” I’m sure I’ll have opportunity to use them both.

      All the best,


  44. 5:39 pm

    Thanks Donald for the insightful list on young people today. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed.

  45. 5:46 pm

    Hysterically brilliant! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
    blogging from Haiti,

  46. 5:46 pm

    we can all learn from youngsters. great post!

  47. 5:52 pm

    I am seventeen, and I have to say that I agree with you completely. I love how you make your point with humor. I will be looking forward to reading more of your posts. Have a great day Mr. Mills.

  48. 5:53 pm

    I was here weeks ago and the final post I read was about you retiring this blog and saying your thanks and farewell. Nice to see you’re back. Congratulations on being WordPress’s Freshly Pressed. And because I’m still in denial about my age, let me say my congratulations with an OMG and a 😀

    • 7:50 pm

      Many thanks Mr. Trades,

      I appreciate your returning to the blog. Go easy on those emoticons, lad, they’re evil.

      All the best,


  49. 5:57 pm

    Love, love, love LOVE this. I am going to have to share this and probably subscribe to your blog. I’m only 30 and I’m constantly wondering what is wrong with youngin’s these days.


  50. 6:01 pm

    Wow this was funny! You are quite the eloquent gentleman aren’t you?! I wrote a pithy put down similar to this about body art, gages in the ears,and table manners and as I closed it with a picture not realizing it was a “pornographic” tattoo I took it down, maybe it’s time to put it back up sans picture! Just par for the course & actually proved my point, but I didn’t want MY site represented that way. I can’t tell you how much I chuckled over your observations! CHEERS!

    • 2:15 am

      Thank you Evie.

      Don’t feel bad,those pornographic tattoos can be damned sneaky.

      All the best.


  51. 6:10 pm

    Being 23 can I say I completely agree with you? Or should I mumble it? hehehehehe!

    • 2:16 am

      thank you my4skin

      Mumbling would be more age appropriate but I appreciate your articulating clearly.

      Best regards,


  52. LizetM permalink
    6:18 pm

    Hahaha well that was pretty accurate! I definitely enjoyed reading this post but I think you’re giving us ‘damned young people’ too much credit, really. Our Ego’s are big enough without you adding to it 🙂

    • 2:18 am

      Could well be LizetM. I suppose I’m just getting generous in my old age.

      All the best,


  53. Jessica Guzman permalink
    6:35 pm

    Seriously, I am so glad I found this blog. This is just too funny. I’m still a youngin’ and honestly, I’d like to think I was born in the wrong era or something because I completely agree with everything here about my fellow peers.

    This is a helluva post here, and I just couldn’t believe how spot on this was 🙂

    If only some people my age bothered to read useful things rather than be on facebook 24/7. Maybe then they’d learn something!

    • 2:19 am

      I appreciate your taking the time to leave me a note, Jessica.

      Many thanks and all the best.


  54. 7:01 pm

    Mr. Mills,

    I ran into this post on Freshly Pressed and I would like to say “Wow!” I completely agree with you – as a young person myself! Too true is your description and especially when I see it all too often in my peers (I fit some of your descriptions…).

    • 2:21 am

      Thank you Accidental Aikidoist.

      It’s always encouraging to hear from a young person with a level head on his shoulders and some self-awareness.



  55. Joy permalink
    7:16 pm

    The only problem I see with young people is that too many of them are unable to transcend the problems they’ve inherited from older people.

  56. 7:17 pm

    Funny satire! We were all young and quite unknowing in several different ways.

  57. 7:19 pm

    you like, totally rock, dude. i am like seriously LMFAO. so funny cuz it’s so true
    ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
    (Just trying to help my fellow younger readers out with a reply they'll understand)

    • 2:31 am

      Thank you she’s a maniac,

      I’m grateful they’ll understand it because it’s damned greek to me. Still, I picked out a few words that look familiar and thank you for them.

      Very nice of you to stop in,

      Best regards,


  58. Jessica Holt permalink
    7:23 pm

    i would like to know dear-sarcastic-bitter-sir-against-the-wonderful-youth-of-society, how you’re family felt about you when YOU were what 18, 20, 25? Have you forgotten what is was to be young and dumb? because you obviously now are old and stupid.

    Thank you for slashing apart my fellow young people. I’ll remember to never go to old people for advise. I’ll consult my lazy, pot-smoking, sex-addicted, porn-loving, metal-head homosexual youth friends instead. They seem to appreciate life and beauty way more than the seniors of society.

    yours truly,
    a very disturbed young person

    • 10:28 pm

      It’s called having a sense of humour. Get over yourself! Oh, and learn to spell and punctuate.

    • 7:22 pm

      Thank you for the comment, Jessica.

      Rest assured that I have not forgotten what it means to be young and stupid. While my memory is somewhat dodgy these days, that particular insight is something I’m reminded of on an all too regular basis. Thank you for once again bringing it to my attention.

      As for what my family thought of me at 18, 20 and 25….that’s difficult to say. I assume that at 18 they were just glad to see the back of me and by 20 grateful that I hadn’t returned home with a bag of dirty laundry, a snotty attitude, a pair of oversized sunglasses and a pressing need to “find myself.”

      By the time I had turned 25 both my parents were dead so I can only assume they no longer had strong feelings about me one way or the other.

      All the best, Jessica, and good luck to you in the future.



      p.s. I’m sure I speak for all seniors when I say we entirely respect your decision not to come to us for advice in future. Truth be told, it likely comes as a bit of a relief.

  59. 7:23 pm

    Don’t blame the youngsters for that banana discombobulation. They’ve been taught since 6th grade (2nd grade in parts of California); when confronted with a banana, put a condom on it. Probably waiting around for a quiz.

    • 4:44 pm


    • 2:33 am

      Many thanks pegoleg,

      A wonderful comment. Thank you for the chuckle. (I laugh only because I assume it’s absolutely true.)

      All the best and thank you once again.


      • 7:15 pm

        Thank YOU, Don. Reading these comments one wonders if some of the youngsters either a) have no sense of humor or b) are not native English speakers. I understand “funny” loses something in translation.

        Congratulations on being FP – it was well deserved!

        Peg (over 50 and hoping not to be deemed overly familiar!)

  60. Delorfinde permalink
    7:23 pm

    As a damned young person at the ripe young age of 15, I’d just like to say that I have already written six novels and am well into the editing progress on one of them.

    I couldn’t say the same for anyone else I know, though. Most of them are morons.

    • Sedate Me permalink
      9:27 pm

      Six novels at age 15? Are you sure they aren’t just a collection of your Tweets like that Denis Leary asshole recently pawned off as a book?

  61. 7:24 pm

    Well, at least you have a sense of humor about it all. I honestly don’t know how anyone can survive in this world without one.

    I realized I was become “older” when I started having these same kinds of thoughts. It’s always been an “us” and “them” thing when it comes to the younger and older generation. I just want to know where it suddenly flipped on me and I became a player on the opposite team!

    You had me laughing immediately, so I stopped and subscribed before I finished reading. Love it when I find someone with a sense of humor. It’s the one thing that does unite us — regardless of age.

    • 7:58 pm

      Thank you rtcrita,

      I do enjoy a good knock knock joke now and again. And who doesn’t?

      Many thanks for the comment and for visting with me.

      All the best,


  62. Spook permalink
    7:26 pm

    You are utterly hilarious. As a young person myself, I must agree that this is a very accurate depiction of many members of my age group … although I suspect I fall into a few of these categories myself, haha!

    Brilliant stuff xD

    • 7:59 pm

      Thank you Spook.

      You sounds like a damned decent young person. I appreciate you stopping in. Hope to hear from you again.



  63. aspiringtobesomeone permalink
    7:26 pm

    So funny! It’s true in many cases.

    As a younger person (being 18) I have to say, at least all that inside sitting around play probably means that bone-wear-wise we’ll probably be better off if we make it to a ripe old age.

    Though we’ll probably all be deaf (from insanely loud headphones), fat (From Sugacrose and too high frutose corn syrup and lack of active movement) and blind (from computer screens).

    I guess there’s a trade-off for everything.

    Thanks for making me laugh at the expense of my peers!

    • 8:01 pm

      Thank you aspiringtobesomeone,

      A frightening notion but I suspect you may be more right than you know.

      I appreciate the comment,


  64. 7:28 pm

    Some of today’s young folk are certainly both confident and cautious, as you listed. Confident: in their greatness. Cautious: that “themselves” will not actually be able to accomplish anything meaningful. Hilarious!

    • 8:03 pm

      Thank you Hannah,

      There’s no denying their confidence. Not sure how they mustered it but it’s certainly something to see.

      All the best,


  65. 7:29 pm

    Great Post!

    Every generation is disappoint with the younger generations, but what’s different in these times is they are just so different.

    Imagine never having to have to look something up in a book because your cell phone with google can tell you everything. Imagine all that instant knowledge and still being unable to string a comprehensible sentence together .

  66. 7:34 pm

    Hi friend!
    Another great post! And, please accept my congratulations on making the front page of WordPress! Please don’t forget the little people on your rise to blogosphere stardom, though.

    But, let’s give credit to the damned young people for contributing so much to the English language. Who could do without words like “yo”, “whale tale”, “skanker”, and beginning every sentence with “like”? Not to mention that they have a talent for abbreviating with such epic examples as “LOL”, “HTC”, and “ALS”.
    And, their contribution to music has been….well, let’s just say rather unique. Ex. Justin (or is it Justine?) Beiber and his contagious fever? That Lady Gag-Gag is quite a hoot, too.

    Keep yelling it like it is, Don…and I’ll keep reading!

    Your friend (and still #1 stalker)

  67. 7:34 pm

    This was both hilarious and surprisingly factual. Damn kids.
    Thank you for sharing!


  68. 7:35 pm

    I think I might be caught in the middle… I can see that you are talking about my children. So funny! I love this post and I will be sending it on to them. Love your site!

  69. 7:38 pm

    Brilliant! And very scary.

  70. 7:45 pm

    Don, congrats on being Freshly Pressed! It must be gratifying to know that even at your age there are still surprises in life. (And I don’t mean the kind teenagers leave on your lawn.)

    And speaking for your regular commenters here, it feels a little bit like we’ve been Freshly Pressed too!

  71. 7:47 pm

    Oh, how I loved this! I just read a bunch of your posts and will definately be back for more! I have 3 ‘young’ nephews… the youngest is a great kid with no tats, no piercings and on his way to college… the other two you described to a ‘t’! Not that they aren’t lovable guys, but, geez. I now have a teen of my own as my daughter just turned 13… and I am trying to teach her well, honestly!

  72. 7:48 pm

    Quite the hilarious post and very true for many youth.
    Why just this past summer I spent time with one of my own boys helping him distill codeine from tylenol…..
    Then he wrote a paper about it and went on to do a different research project called ” Synthetic route to chiral ligands derived from methylvinylsulfoxide for application in molecular switches”.
    Those crazy medical school kids what will they do next!
    Watch out he wants to specialize in geriatrics!

  73. mrsled permalink
    7:49 pm

    Well said my friend. I agree 100% and I have known a lot of young people. Especially my grandchildren who are now grown up. What morons?

  74. 7:52 pm

    Hello Donald,

    That was a very enjoyable read. If anyone is wondering yes I am a young person, so to say very young – only nineteen. New to this blogging world. I have my thoughts and opinions that I do not intend to hide, a small girl with a big voice. I hope some of you come drop by my blog and maybe read a couple of them?

    Anyway, I would like to congratulate you on the fact that you ALMOST fooled me into thinking that a wise old man like yourself wrote this blog “In Praise of Young People”.

    I must admit it got me very happy for starters (or shall I say as my contemporaries would put it – it got me bare happs about meself), that a small number of the older generations thought that there was a hint of good in the young people in today’s society.

    Althought, it was most definitely true in its assumptions which you claim are “objective, balanced and based entirely in fact” – love the irony. If only more youngsters stood up to defy such claims, but I guess that would be too much to ask for from a teenager to peel off the computer games/social networks/ playstations/ x-box etc.

    Most of the time, it is too much too ask for, to pick up a book let alone read it!

    Hope to read more of your extremely interesting blogs, maybe the contrary to this blog? (the genuinely praise of young people)



  75. 8:20 pm

    Great stuff, yea only STUFF from, ” What do people call to old thinker?” yea got it “WISER MAN.” So Mr. Don, It was pleasure to read your blog. I have one simple question for you, How was life for you, when you were young?

    Nature policy: New must has to be praise old must has to depart.

    Brief nature policy process for young


    Sad: Old never going to accept it. Problem of simple human psychology “EGO” cause Old says ” I have so much experience and see life more than you and you are just half of my life so do give me shit.”

    Yes, your post I seriously appreciated and enjoy reading.


    Wiweck (Actually Name Vivek Kumar Singh, Wiweck is unique on cyber space to make id so i took it and People from west usually made mistake to pronounce Vivek, they pronounce Wiweck.

  76. 8:35 pm

    How have I been on WordPress for almost three years and never stumbled upon your blog? I will be a frequent visitor from this day forth.

    Thanks for the observations and laughs, Don!

  77. 9:02 pm

    I’m a young and I’m entirely agree with you, but I want to said that it’s the big majority of the young who are stupid. It have a little part who are intelligent.
    I don’t say the little part is perfect and me too, same I am the most stupid guy on some point but I want to say, is not to generalize(yet it’s difficult).

    Very great post. I will make another turn on the next days.

  78. 9:04 pm

    As one of the young people you’re talking about I should be offended….but I’m not haha cause all this stuff is so true, great post

  79. kelliejwin permalink
    9:04 pm

    this was a great laugh and made my day!

  80. 9:06 pm

    I stumbled upon this blog on freshly pressed. It’s hysterical! Great stuff

  81. ryoko861 permalink
    9:16 pm

    You hit the nail on the proverbial head here! Love your take on it!

  82. 9:20 pm

    And here I am reading this at the young age of 28 and while I can absolutely see your point in all you’ve said, I thank the good Lord for my knowledge, talents and for pants that I keep at my waist. You may be happy to hear that my momma raised myself and my five sisters well. I certainly know where North America is on a map, can peel a banana (probably without using my hands), know way more about demand AND SUPPLY than I probably care to know, have never owned an x box, bought my own car (which I’m still driving), paid my way through college and now graduate school, am unmarried with no children, am a newspaper reporter, a graduate assistant and a counselor trainee with a great resume apparently! Wow, I just realized how really cool I am.

    I have utmost respect for my elders and have so enjoyed writing more than five different pieces on those who have celebrated their 100th birthdays. I held a door for an older woman yesterday at Kohls and said thank you at the cash register even though it was my money I was spending. I completely agree with what you’ve said here. There are many, many young people who have taken the stuff of the new generation and run with it without respecting themselves or others. I’m grateful I am not one of them. I actually got a kick out of this post… I can really see some of the people you are speaking of. I just hope you don’t lump us ALL into the category. For your pleasure I will add a smiley here 🙂

    • aunaqui permalink
      10:23 pm

      I like this, I like you.
      Well written, good points.

  83. 9:26 pm

    I’m a young man myself… but it’s all about the Big Bands of the 30s!

  84. 9:32 pm

    Wow, why is this the first time I have discovered your blog? It’s hilarious! As a damned young person myself I can agree with your accurate descriptions of today’s youth, although I don’t consider myself to be of the gormless-slack-jawed nincompoop variety. You remind me of my great-grandfather (when he was alive) and his rants about society!

  85. 9:36 pm

    you really are funny. how do you manage to take such a well-trodden theme and bring it back to life? I laughed, I cried.

  86. 9:46 pm

    As one of these so called “young people” I’d like to say that you made a TON of generalizations in this post. Especially saying that young people do not like to spend time outside. I adore the outdoors, and I go to my local library all the time.

    I know this is meant to be funny and sarcastic, but really… you sound like a parent.

  87. Dr. John permalink
    9:54 pm

    THIS GENERATION IS NOT THE SAME GENERATION OF THE LAST ONE. To be young today is only – ME-ME-ME- and- NO Respect!! This generation doesn’t know How to think critically comparing to the real hard working young of the last generation. Young people today is a good time? I was young, I work hard to achieve things today without NO Help!!They are to demanding and cheaters. Especially, in the classroom? They need to learn the Moral Discipline for Self and for others. They don’t have no Logical and Reasons in their thinking process.?

  88. 10:04 pm

    Sir, with all respect, I feel the words of my grand-dad are worth considering when we look out our youth of today. He once told me, “It may seem like things change but they don’t change that much.”

    He was right! Although his story was that he left home after receiving his 8th grade diploma to make his way in the world, the on-line 1930 census tells a different story. At the age of 23 he was still living at home with his parents. Personally, I agree with my grand-dad. Not much has changed.

  89. 10:06 pm

    While I hope that I do not conform to your portrayal of youngsters as inarticulate, internetualising, egocentric, fast-fooding morons, I must admit that your assessment is fair, balanced and exceedingly fabulous. Thank you for opening the eyes of my generation to their own inadequacies, using our hallowed beacon of personal expression, the internet, to your excellent advantage. Much appreciated Don

  90. 10:10 pm

    While your post doesn’t describe every young person in town, it certainly describes a large portion of them. Good job!

  91. aunaqui permalink
    10:20 pm

    You, are a funny guy. I am one of the *darn young people you just praised, commended and exalted.. me with my two tattoos, strong sense of individuality and crazy hair (it’s.. without color and well nigh layerless – not very crazy OR typical of my fellow, contemporary weird-os)– nevertheless. I appreciate your sense of humor, your writing style, AND your point of view.
    We really are a generation of dimwits, misfits and weird-os.

    Glad to have you still around.
    -Aun Aqui

  92. 10:27 pm

    Walt Disney portrayed the metamorphosis of youth, from boy to bray ass, in Pinocchio.

    How very well written Mr. Mills and how sad.

    Your article is a sarcastic mirror of our times.

  93. 10:34 pm

    I believe your topic is of such universal interest, and your insight so acute, that you ought to be featured on TED Talks.

  94. 10:53 pm

    When I was 17, I flew wildly from the nest with no regrets. And I think the years that followed encouraged me to mature at an acceptable rate. However, most of my peers decided that maturity was overrated and soon I grew apart from most of them (intellectually, socially, and in actual physical space because I kept moving.) The sad consequence is one that I cannot outgrow: my husband and I have very few friends our own age. Most of our close friends are at least 10-30 years our seniors, and this is quite fine for us. It does, however, make it difficult to relate to our peers (a term I use loosely) when it becomes necessary. We constantly struggle with maintaining relationships because we don’t want to seem condescending to others our own age. Humor, as you’ve demonstrated here, might be the perfect solution.

    Congrats on being “Freshly Pressed.”

  95. 11:21 pm

    That was hilarious! You didn’t descripe me (though I’m young), but you discriped a couple of people I know.

    Good writing. Keep up the good work!

  96. finding my way permalink
    11:27 pm

    Mr. Mills,

    This was so thoroughly enjoyable, I find myself hoping you are aging backwards. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day and “Benjamin Button”, I’m imagining a feisty romance in about twenty five years. Until then I’ll just enjoy your sense of humor and ability to turn a phrase.

    Patiently waiting,

  97. Hanna Wilbur permalink
    12:03 am

    Where is the “Like” button?
    Hahah… by the way, I’m still 20… 🙂

  98. eternallyemo permalink
    12:06 am

    Hilarious blog! I’m not young enough to be offended, but I didn’t think I was old enough to relate — until I laughed at just about every bit of “praise” in this post.

    I might need to apply for an AARP card, lol.

  99. 12:15 am

    Teenagers in general, very true. Can’t be more agree with you, Don. But don’t forget that there are also teenagers who are tend to be nice and respectful to other. I think it is depend on how we (the older ones, parents and teachers and the whole community) teach and educate them, give them proper sample and insights. Hope we can give them good sample.
    by the way, congrats on being exposed in freshly pressed.

  100. Anonymous permalink
    12:23 am

    ” I trust this makes amends to any damned young person that I may have offended in the past and clearly demonstrates that my views on youth are objective, balanced and based entirely in fact ” — I like this quote , I like the way you think ………

    I can agree with you on most things, but youth is a “wide” defined story these days. Your post and remarks are good, but seeking for perfection makes some of the “ideas” a bit silly –
    or at least toxic if not done right – if you know what I mean.

    As I got older ( Im almost 29 ) , I realised that “not so young” people often try to cook ,
    and than figure out that their food isnt actually as good as they think. Some of them understand criticism with good intensions, others dont – but I have only one advice,
    dont eat things unless they are good, unless you REALLY know how to make them.

    But that wasnt the “point” or the essence of your post, just a part of it. You actually made
    good remarks. I think you believe in the future and in the kids that will be a part of that future and so do I. Every generation is a little bit smarter, they learn fast – its not uncommon for 5 year olds to use the computer like I did when Iwas 15 and I didnt even have the internet back then.

    Thank you for posting a funny story in a humoristic way :_) It was a pleasure reading
    and I dont need to mention , I smiled a few times and then I remembered something –
    ” Damn its true” , or most of it anyway.

  101. Črtomir permalink
    12:31 am

    GOOD JOB ; humoristic way to explain some of the youths ways thesedays…………..

    I smiled and made a conclusion “damn its true” or at least most of it – and you

    found a nice way to explain it ……….

    TNX for sharing thoughts , it always nice to spend a few minutes reading –
    and I always liked the homuristic aproach to modern day dilemas :_)

    Greetings from Europe

  102. 12:55 am

    absolutely brilliant. hats off to you.

  103. 12:59 am

    I am 20 years old. But I feel I was born in the wrong Age.
    I wish I could be a peasant, work hard, go to the Mass on Sunday and work more.

    No internet and no stupid people looking for an eternal youth. A life where people just live!
    And the most important, No Justin Bieber!!

  104. Nonsensical lover. permalink
    2:02 am

    I love this. I feel that the youth has made great strides in the arena of success, where success is basically evading reality for what it really is. I love my age group ❤

  105. 2:08 am

    Wow. Although it was a funny read, it made me cringe. We’re not all bad. I’m thinking about writing something called, “The Problem With Old People.” It might be a funny response to this post!

  106. Christian permalink
    2:10 am

    The use of sarcasm is brilliant. Being a first-time reader, I’m curious as to what your thoughts are on those who are raising such poorly wonderful members of society?

  107. KBlade permalink
    2:35 am

    Your blog is better than a Metamucil milkshake…

    Hats off to you.

  108. lookingforsomethingtofind permalink
    3:33 am

    I take offense Mr. Mills, saying we don’t have a sense of humor about ourselvs.

    • 5:56 pm

      Thank you lookingforsomethingtofind,

      My comment was really directed at those young people who have, in the past, taken such strong issue with my posts. I certainly meant no offence to you directly, lad.

      Always nice to hear from you.

      Best regards,


      • lookingforsomethingtofind permalink
        10:54 pm

        I was just joking, no offense taken. Glad your blog is back Don.

  109. 3:51 am

    Even though I’m a young person myself, this is throughly hilarious!!!

  110. 3:53 am

    i loved the economy part the most…. well being a youth myself, i appreciate it…. nice…..

  111. Ya Right permalink
    3:58 am

    Okay Don.

    My educated guess is that you are a collaborative class project from U of T.

    How close am I? Got your goat? Hutcheon is big on parody and irony, no?

    (No, I was not tipped off).

  112. 4:00 am

    Great post Don. Made my day 🙂

  113. mysoulforsale permalink
    4:02 am

    My husband and I laughed out loud while reading your post, Mr. Mills. Thank you for echoing so many of my own sentiments with such flair. I look forward to reading some of your other posts, many of which had me laughing with their title alone.

    I have lamented the pathetic work ethic of the young people who I am forced to share oxygen with at my office in one of my blog posts, and I’m quite certain that I’ll use them as further fodder in future blog posts.

    Congratulations on being freshly pressed!

  114. 4:10 am

    Now that is a POST! What to tell ’em! Very funny. My favourite part was”

    “The fact that young people spend their formative years plonked down front of an X-box in nothing but their Y-fronts may have long-term physical and mental health ramifications (and provide for a disturbing visual) but we senior’s appreciate having free-run of the libraries, museums and parks. It’s nice to feed the damned pigeons without gaggles of young people running about getting fresh air and exercise. “

  115. 4:22 am

    it’s not often that i enjoy a post so much that i even read all the comments on it 🙂

  116. 4:26 am

    As a young person, you’re spot-on, sir–in fact, as I type, I’m making a crack pipe out of a light bulb, some masking tape, and an empty Listerine bottle. (Hey, that’s another good thing about us–we’re multitaskers!)
    Seriously, great post.

  117. 4:39 am

    Just want to say this is funny, um, no, not what I am writing, I mean the post way back up there somewhere, gee, I’ve become an old fart just getting through those comments, yup, sure enough my butt tattoo has faded since I started out, like thanks, Gramps!

  118. 4:43 am

    I’m not sure what you consider young but you may be happy or disturbed to know that my husband is 26 and not only enjoying himself in a park but he is also enforcing the laws in one as well. Don’t worry though he is an old soul 😉

  119. darthbergen permalink
    5:12 am

    As a high school teacher, I have to agree with many of your observations, sad as it is to have to agree with some of them.

    Thanks for your blog. It brings me much joy.

  120. 5:20 am

    I found this to be too funny and too true -especially after I became a high school teacher!

  121. 5:27 am

    Wow! I looked up “curmudgeon” on, and there was a link to your site! 😉

    Congrats on being FP. Today’s post is very generous of you, considering your other entries. Perhaps the feelings of love on St. Valentine’s Day filled your heart and mind. Just for today of course.

    Love your site. 🙂

  122. 5:44 am

    Wow, I thought I was a grumpy old man, but you are the real deal and put me to shame. I love it! Thanks for the good read. Subscribed!

  123. 6:12 am

    Hilarious, Don. I couldn’t agree more!

  124. 6:54 am

    Hi Donald,

    I must say that I am speechless after having read your post. I am a 35 year old mother. Therefore, I realize that I do not qualify as a young person.

    However, as someone who spends my life working for and with young people, I beg to differ. I feel sad that you have had the displeasure of meeting young people with all the above mentioned qualities. I, on the other hand, feel very grateful to have met young people who rise up to all the challenges they experience in their lives (mostly created by “mature” adults) and spend their lives making small, but meaningful changes.

    I wonder now, if this same post was written during the time when you were a young person, what possibly could have been written? It would be interesting to see you write a post about that 🙂

    Have a nice day and may you be blessed with better encounters in the future.


  125. Aurelius permalink
    6:57 am

    Dear Don,

    When is new line of 1961 re-issue two-pocket sweaters coming out?

    Kind regards,


  126. bibliophile10 permalink
    7:27 am

    Mr. Mills,

    While I would most likely be grouped with the other crazy youngsters of my generation, I appreciated your post. 🙂 I am an avid user of emoticons, but I do recognize the craziness and departure from tradition that my generation often presents. Thank you for you hilarious insights– they are much appreciated. Congratulations on being freshly pressed!


  127. 7:28 am

    hahaha i am one of these ‘young people’ and i so agree with you on the evolution part :D. you have put it so wll!!!!

  128. 7:28 am

    hahaha i am one of these ‘young people’ and i so agree with you on the evolution part :D. you have put it so well!!!!

  129. leiqiong permalink
    7:33 am

    These are wonderful! Thank you for sharing
    akley sunglasses

  130. 8:25 am

    I loved this blog and could totally relate. Even though we are in different countries, what you described seems to be in abundance where I am also!
    The word ‘feral’ springs to mind when I observe and the language of ‘I was like, he was like so I was like’ grate me!

  131. Ramya permalink
    8:39 am

    I wish the older generation spoke less, judged less and just relaxed.

  132. 9:01 am

    Great blog, some young people totally defy logic.
    But every so often there is a real gem amongst them. A real gem.

    I have two handsome teenage nephews who study hard, work hard, do not have tattoos of any description, or any other appendages.
    They have manners (WOW – that’s worth a blog on its own).
    They are respectful to all elders, not just the Grandparents.

    They are an absolute delight. One is 18 and the other is 16.

    Yes, they do live at home. One started university last year.

    So the good ones do exist, but there are probably more of the type you mention Don. For they are the ones who get noticed!

  133. 9:20 am

    You are fabulous. And you seem to have a thing for cooking up descriptive phrases. Lethally funny, I must say – and I’m gonna read up all your other posts now! 🙂

    Thanks to FP for getting it out in the open!

  134. 9:26 am

    oh man this was hilarious. two thumbs up for the post. its all true!

  135. 9:39 am

    Hey Don ,
    Im new to wordpress and even im young ,just came by to read your blog and it is really a reflection of the new generation .And if u may ill add 1 more they just want to b the person who is important “i said it earlier ” “i knew it “…And the main problem is that they have forgotten how to respect the older generation .Really enjoyed reading it.take care.
    Best Regards

  136. 9:46 am

    Good- funny-old man. That’s what I want to be like when I grow up 🙂
    Thank you Mr Don!

  137. 9:59 am

    Damn it, Don, that is some funny material. Thanks so much for the cantakerous rant. I will share this with my two teenage daughters – who are fabulous and buck the trend (at least your trend) – and I am sure that they will enjoy it too. (They also have a good sense of humour.)


    John Zimmer

  138. 10:02 am

    Dear Don,

    How dare you suggest we’re all the same? I tell you now we take issue with that, one and all!

    Literary Kitty (age 21 and a half)

  139. 10:07 am

    I think different generations, young and old, and the media are sensationalizing this cut of the youth. I’m pretty sure that there’s still a lot of teenagers and young adults out there whose lives don’t revolve around sex, drugs, and alcohol (OR SO I HOPE). It’s just that they’re not given any attention.

    Nonetheless, this article is brilliant! Thanks for posting this Mr. Donald! 🙂


  140. Isobel permalink
    11:46 am

    This is great!
    Thank you
    I agree

  141. nkojo249 permalink
    12:05 pm

    And at the end of this,Am drowning in my own guilt.Nice piece.

  142. 12:09 pm


  143. 12:22 pm

    Wonderful! I agree completely (being a young one myself).
    Thanks for posting this!

  144. Kathy permalink
    1:53 pm

    Seriously funny — I work with many ‘gormless’ youth on a day to day basis — I’m a teacher’s assistant in a junior high school — sometimes my level of despair nearly does me in — but, I tell myself, they are young they are brainless and they need guidance. I would love to point them all in your direction! Have a great day and congrats on being FP’d.

  145. 2:04 pm

    Hello there. First off, I really don’t agree with you on this subject, not even 0.0000001% 😛 Secondly, I do enjoy your witty humor. Congrats on having your blog freshly pressed, I do hope they starched it! Btw, I’m 16 and not like that. Most I see here are not at all the type you describe on your blog. But ofcourse, we all have our points of views and different environments and religions… Good job on the blog.

  146. 2:16 pm

    Dear Mr. Mills;
    I am in love with your blog! Congratulations on being Fresh Pressed- I am glad to have found you there. At the age of 50 I consider myself a beginner curmudgeon, and you are my new mentor.

  147. 2:32 pm

    I’m so glad I found your blog! I live with a 17-year-old son and can vouch for everything you said; you are spot on…great post! Congrats on FP.

  148. 2:35 pm


  149. 2:36 pm

    Your blog is sheer brilliance.

  150. 2:49 pm

    Absolutely Fantastic! I thought it was just me that harboured these thoughts 🙂

  151. sahara07 permalink
    2:58 pm

    hahaha…so funny

  152. 3:04 pm

    I do not consider myself young (or even part of the Youth: I’m turning 25 in a couple of months); but this made me look back in my younger years. And Don, I must give credit to you! You have hit the jackpot!

    I’m pretty sure if the younger generation will read this, they won’t be offended. Seriously. Hahaha!

  153. David Lockeretz permalink
    3:13 pm

    Great stuff – keep it up! Are you serious about the 25-minute banana peeling by the way?

  154. 3:15 pm

    When I first saw the title of this post, I thought somebody hacked your account. I hope young people staying indoors is not just a trend because I plan on being old someday and I won’t want young people in the same state as my lawn.

  155. 3:17 pm

    Dear Don, Is that you, I mean, really you in the picture? If so, your curmudgeon blogging is even more legit. Blog on my elder.

  156. 3:21 pm

    This post was a GIFT to me today! I haven’t laughed that hard in months! My sides ache! It was also timely, and struck very close to home.

    I am the Mother of three darlings, one of them a thirteen year old. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be fighting the whole of society in raising her to be the decent, dependable, intelligent, independent, thoughtful, engaging person I know she can be. The pull “out there” is strong indeed, and it is a constant battle to keep her on “our side.” So far, I think we are winning the battle, but I am never sure. For example, on my list of things to do today is the deletion of several explicit songs that she managed to get by us onto her iPod. Constant vigilance is needed, and my husband and I are determined to be ever more vigilant now that we know our sweet, well-behaved daughter is not above sneaking one (or several) by us.

    Oh, and I have another for you:
    They debate the ethics of ethical behavior.
    It is exHASperating!!!!

    Keep at it, Sir…and Bravo!

    • 3:36 pm

      Kanniduba, you have expressed my exact fear for raising children in this society. My husband and I want children very badly, but are waiting until we graduate. This is the only aspect I am not looking forward to. I’m afraid I might be compelled to raise our kids like the Bubble Boy.

      • munchkn permalink
        3:39 pm

        Same goes for me. I want kids, but actually, no I don’t. I look around me at teenagers and my fellow students and think, “I would HATE to be your parents.” With so much negative societal influence, the chance of me not respecting my children is far too high to consider having them until it becomes popular once again to wear clothes rather than only underwear.

        • 4:37 pm

          I understand both of you and your trepidation. 🙂
          I will tell you, however, that raising my children is my biggest challenge, but also my greatest joy and source of pride. Watching my oldest daughter grow into her own person is a remarkable experience…the challenge is fighting the tide that wants to sweep her away. I won’t allow it.
          My husband and I are in this together, and determined to raise three children who are positive influences in a society much in need of positive influences. There needs to be more of “us” than there are of “them” if we are going to shift the tide back in the other direction.
          So have those babies, and commit to the difficult job of parenting and teaching them to see the black and white of ethics in a world that wants us to believe everything is gray.

  157. alison permalink
    3:31 pm


    I am a seventeen-year-old. Despite my ignorant youthfulness, I have to say your article is very truthful and witty. Although, I have to admit, I would have no idea how to mix household ingredients to create drugs.


    Alison Thompson

  158. 3:31 pm

    This is sooo funny. As I am young, I didn’t take offense to any of it at all…but started bursting out in laughter in my college library because of how terrifyingly accurate you are. Although, Some of us young people, such as myself, can hold an intellectual conversation and some, such as myself, do not like to sit in front of the tv or play xbox all day long…I don’t even own a video game. Though, observing the ones around me that do, I’d say you’re pretty interesting and awesome. Thank you. But not ALL of us are damned. There’s still hope isn’t there? I say that with a smile. 🙂

  159. 3:36 pm


    As I am about to leave the comfort of my 20’s and enter the unknown that is my 30’s, I wonder at what point I lost or will lost the moniker of a damned young person. I already find myself looking back on things I did just a few years ago that seem uterly ridiculous today. Perhaps I’ve already made the leap. Anyway, enjoyed the post thoroughly and hope you’ll check out my page if you’re ever looking for more material on things that damned young people do.

  160. 3:46 pm

    It’s no wonder your blog is in the top ten! You’re freaking hilarious. Thanks for brightening up my day! : )

  161. 3:50 pm

    Wow! This was hilarious! I love your wit. I’m 15 going on 16 and I even laughed at this. I’m going to share this with my friends.

  162. mike0827 permalink
    4:00 pm

    Hilarious work, well written sir.

  163. 4:03 pm

    Don you are flat-out hilarious. Have you covered why they can’t keep their pants up? When they are old men they will look back at this particular wardrobe malfunction and be mortified. They will have a mannequin in a museum showing this era of droopy drawers as a period costume and folks will shudder in utter disbelief.

    I agree–too many boomerang babies returning home!

  164. 4:17 pm

    Mr. Mills, for you must be addressed properly, this is seriously funny and serious, right ? If it wasn’t so accurate it wouldn’t be funny – but it is !! Your observations are spot on. Now, when are you turning your acerbic pen (or keyboard) on todays politicians ? I gotta be there. Sign me up as an Outrider for The Cause 🙂

  165. Joshua permalink
    4:18 pm

    Well written sir!
    Entertaining and endlessly humorous!

  166. hoope permalink
    4:21 pm

    WoW.. this is wonderful.. I enjoyed reading it.. and i guess i will stay checking this blog- seems so interesting.
    And i am a young girl too …. and i dislike many of my peer .. Whateva you said is true.. and its interesting to know how old people see us .

  167. 4:24 pm

    Haha that’s hilarious! So entirely true it’s sad.

    I’m in my teens and I still agree with you. People today have absolutely no common sense. There’s no work ethic, no courtesy and no respect for adults. I mean seriously? They have lived longer, I’d expect that they know what they’re talking about.

    Anyways, this was wonderful. Thanks!

  168. 5:18 pm


    esspecially –>

    “They’re Fierce Individualists

    Ask any one of them. They’ll all tell you the same thing. ”

    ooohh dearrrr hahahahhahahaa

  169. 5:28 pm

    You have no idea how much I have laughed, and laughed, and laughed at your post. I work in a school. With teenagers. This is so right on and to the point- it is genius!

  170. 6:02 pm

    I loved your post, it was hilarious and just what I needed this morning. Such truth to your words! Thanks Don.

  171. Anonymous permalink
    6:35 pm


    It’s about time WordPress started to recognize your words of wisdom. I was beginning to think they never would, that they assumed you were suffering from dementia and typing these annoyance-fueled posts with your crippled and arthritic fingers just for the hell of it!

    Speaking of which, you might find this video on finger fitness helpful.

    (Be extra careful when doing the folds exercise. The switch back and forth can be tricky.)

    I’m so glad your sticktoitiveness has finally paid off, Don. Your talent is unparalleled.

    Your friend,

  172. 6:52 pm

    Dear Don,

    I like to scan the posts on WordPress that are tagged as “humor”. Why? Because I myself am decidedly unfunny and even the unfunny need a good belly laugh now and then. Unfortunately, most of the posts that utilize the humor tag are poorly written drivel that I would rather dig my own teeth out with a rusty pen knife than read. Not yours though. Yours made me belly laugh, AND it was well written. I like you Don, and to prove it, I’m going to subscribe.
    – Sincerely, TMarie

    • 10:12 pm

      Don, Wow. If you’re replying to all these it’s gonna take a long long time to get to mine! – TMarie

  173. SavannahP permalink
    10:26 pm

    Well, i would like to say that i am a “young adult” , some of these things i would have to agree and others not so much.
    If i was locked in a room and given all the supplies you listed, i would NOT be able to make any kind of bong/pipe/etc.
    I don’t play the xbox or any other type of gaming console. Could be the fact that i don’t know how or i honestly never had the time to figure it out.
    Also, i do not have dinner plates in my ears OR chains hanging from my nose, my bum stays IN my pants and if i wore a shirt saying “Where the bitches at?” , my mother would kill me to say the least.
    Finally, with the sections stating we like to share everything. I think my generation has had to deal with certain things previous generations didn’t have. Now we have internet and cell phones. We like to socialize , some more on the internet than others. But, i will be guilty at that. I love pictures, and i love posting them on my facebook . (even if my “friends” done like it, i will still do it anyways)

    Basically, i got a laugh out of this article because i know MANY people my age who this may apply to. But i just wanted to point out that we are not all like this .

    Best Wishes,

    • thumbles permalink
      10:44 pm

      We are all like this. You’re clearly an adult spy.

    • 5:42 am

      I do agree with Savannah. Not all of us are like that. None of these points apply to me and frankly, I don’t know a single person this might apply to.

  174. thumbles permalink
    10:43 pm

    I would be placated, but sadly I can’t read.

  175. 1:20 am

    This was great. I specially loved how you threw in the “damned young person” part at the end. That was brilliant.

    Well, you know what they say: “In order to be old and wise, you first have to be young and stupid”.

  176. 2:02 am

    Absolutely brilliant post read it twice and loved it! =)

  177. stocktoc permalink
    5:19 am

    I agree with the responses above; this is terrifyingly accurate.
    (I’m only 26 and I’m already scared out of my mind about what the future holds for me, and for my future children.)

  178. 9:56 am

    As a youth, it hurts me to say that most of it is true!
    But, very engaging read nonetheless!

  179. 3:33 pm

    This post could well qualify for the blog post hall of fame.

  180. Harry permalink
    7:55 pm

    That is some quality satire! Who doesn’t hate teens?

    Check us out at:

    Finally, a place to bitch on the internet!

  181. shinypigeon permalink
    10:04 pm

    Dear Mr Mills,
    (I did check your comment policy thoroughly before writing to you.)
    I have to say that you have truly enlightened my day.
    Thank you

  182. 12:12 am

    Great post, Mr. Mills.

    Keep up the awesome writing; it’s a real inspiration. I can only hope that when I reach your age I can also write with at least half the dexterity that you do.

  183. housewifingaround permalink
    5:02 am

    I would send this to my peers and some younger ones, but they wouldn’t understand half of the vocabulary used. Even I have lost some vocabulary because of how often I have to dumb down conversation just to be understood. I was born in the wrong time period.

    • 4:34 pm

      Just because we are young, doesn’t mean we are dense and it certainly doesn’t mean we do not know certain vocabulary, it’s all about learning and being taught, so maybe if they don’t know, don’t compain about it but teach them, enlighten them.

      • munchkn permalink
        6:36 pm

        Well, that only works if younger people can be bothered to learn. Sadly, a lot of my peers aren’t. I only help my fellow university students when they want it, but many who need it don’t want it.
        And, quite frankly, I’ve met a lot of people at this university who are just plain dense.

      • 1:23 am

        There are too many products of ‘this’ generation that feel they are too superior to be bothered to learn. I’m often asked, “Troy! You work, you write, you study and you still find a way to go to the gym every morning at 5:30…how?!” Easy: dedication and interested learning. A guy I graduated high school with had all the talent in the world, and what happened to him? He’s somewhere. Drunk and incapable.

  184. 10:31 am

    Ha, some funny stuff. But in defense of the young people, the old people were their examples.

  185. sarahforward permalink
    1:34 pm

    I feel guilty on some of these 😐

  186. 10:27 pm

    Dear Mr. Mills,

    I enjoyed visiting your website, but I couldn’t find the advertisements. This makes me wonder if you are publicly funded. Are you working for the government?

    James Treat

  187. 11:20 am

    Cleverly written and incredibly entertaining! Thanks for the laugh on this early morning!

  188. 1:34 pm

    Would you like to meet my son? Perhaps he is the exception that proves the rule, but he is a leader of leaders, a throwback perhaps? He teaches kids in Sunday school. His version of the “Xbox” is classical piano. He runs every morning. And his jeans always cover his underwear. No piercings, tattoos or chains from the nose. And, he knows his way around a library. He’ll look you in the eye when you speak with him, respond with “Sir” and shake your hand firmly.

    From the sounds of it, you might actually like this one.

  189. 4:32 pm

    I think I have to disagree with the mind set you have on us young people. I enjoy your posts a lot, and I find them very funny but just keep in mind although a lot of our youth is what you say, a lot of it is also not. Not everyone in this generation are terrible, pot smoking, partying, animals. A lot of us do have our minds set on going to college and getting an education and working hard for what we deserve. In some areas you are completely correct in regards to some people, in some areas with other people you are not. But it’s all about opinion and you grew up in something different than I grew up in. I appreciate your honesty, and your wit.

  190. 6:58 pm

    Holy Crap, Don! Over 300 comments! You’ve outdone yourself with this one. I’ve missed you!

  191. 7:11 pm

    Hi there Don.
    I’m a 15 year old girl, and I am completely offended by your post.
    You base your post on the worst young people out there in the world. I agree that there are a lot of us that are really stupid and make horrible decisions with their lives.
    But I don’t appreciate you basing this blog about ALL the young people in the world.
    There are more good, smart, and wonderful “young people” than bad ones. The only reason people notice more of the bad ones is because their actions are more intense than the rest of us. And the least you could do is say MOST young people are like what you say. Not ALL. Please and thank you.
    -Love Erlin.

    • munchkn permalink
      7:43 pm

      Hi there, Erlin,
      I’m sure Don will get around to replying to this, but mind if I take a crack? I’m 19, so I’m also a young person in his eyes. I am not, however, offended. First, this whole blog is supposed to be humourous, and you should take it as such. Don’t take it too seriously. Enjoy it for what it is, and laugh and shake your head at those people that can be described with the above. Second, I happen to know many people who can be described as such in some way or another. I’d say give it a couple years and you too might see that our generation isn’t the greatest. In some ways we’re better, but in many ways this is not the case. So just relax! It’s supposed to be funny!

      • 7:55 pm

        Thanks for pitching in, Munchkn.

        Very well said and I apprecaite the help. I’m running a little behind in my replies.

        All the best,


      • 6:01 am

        I completely agree, i pretty much died. The individual thing is my favorite… everyone at my college has the uniform of uggs and a northface jacket

  192. 9:45 pm

    “They’re Fierce Individualists
    Ask any one of them. They’ll all tell you the same thing.”
    This is a true statement for the last two generations. One could predictably (and I did) finish several statements a night for people who didn’t have much to say back then and things have not improved.
    I thank you sir, for the candid and unprofane words you are giving to us all. I have just stumbled on this post while looking for something entertaining or insightful and you have delivered both. Also I have to comment positively and the old school grammer that’s missing so far and wide. I look forward to reading more of your posts. Until then Mr. Mills, thank you and please stay reself.

  193. Ryan permalink
    3:00 am

    Your blog is fantastic. I just stumbled across it and figured I’d tell you how wonderful and refreshing it is to see someone who knows how to blog for a purpose. Keep doing what you’re doing (till you die, at least). Thanks for the entertainment, Don.

  194. Ryan permalink
    3:02 am

    Oh yeah, and for the kids who can’t take a joke, I suggest you ignore them, sir. You’re doing fine. I’m fifteen and I think this blog is hilarious, so…I don’t have something stuck up my ass.

  195. 1:15 pm

    I really enjoyed reading this.

  196. chicaextrana permalink
    11:25 pm

    Haha this is great 🙂 However this can’t account for young people all over the world, right? There are few like me, who can’t wear T-shirts with swear words emblazoned on them, or make a bong out of bathroom cabinet medicine.

  197. 11:17 pm

    Great thoughts and very true.
    You know it’s funny you bring this up because i heard that eating asparagus makes your urine smelly, so i tried out that theory and the next time i went, phew, it were smelly i can tell you that for sure. it smelled like that party i went to the other day with that Denise i met on the disused railtrack while doing some sik grafitti. hell to the yeah, cheers Don

  198. Anonymous permalink
    11:41 pm

    Oh, you old sod, you warm the cockles of my heart. Altogether too accurate and side splittingly funny to boot.

  199. 6:29 am

    This post is very funny.. but am afraid is not entirely accurate where i live.

    Every time i see the young people – sure, they party irresponsibly, and they have murdered language was we knew (and liked) it. but they are VERY VERY intelligent. They are forever thinking of new things to build, to try, to do. most of the kids i know love adventure..some, because their parents have made a big effort to spend time outdoors with them, and some others, bcs they could not afford things like xbox, PS, or 2 square meals a day. They just had to work.

    Education is not what it used to be. What we did at the age of 11 these kids do at 8, and then they are bored some. We had to excel at just one thing – these kids have to be good in sports, academics and extra currciulars. AND partying (out of peer pressure). they have to tolerate drugs enough to stay in the group and stay de addicted enough to avoid trouble at home. The worst part is that most of these kids have to live at least 2 lives – even kids with very open parents.

    The “adult” thingie is happening much, much sooner.. and def before they are ready for it mentally and emotionally.

    So thats the gud and bad of it, the way i c it around..

  200. 8:45 am

    I am still not sure how you were able to summarize the adolescent of our times into such a short post. Oh wait, I AM sure. I would have kept it as simple adjectives such as deranged, idiotic, irresponsible, preposterous and so on. However, I am forever indebted to you for the laughter you have evoked. I should sue you for the abdominal pain, but because it was a breath of fresh air and it has been a long time lacking- I will just thank you. Thank you for the truly remarkable post. I don’t think there is anyone who can say it better. I would love to hear your take on celebrities and the Grammy awards. Let me know if you post about that and I will have a nurse by my side waiting in case of any life threatening emergency that may arise from your humor. Keep on posting.

  201. 3:26 am

    At 17 years old, I am slightly resentful of this post. I found it rather humorous as it does describe some of the people I know, but such stereotypes are entirely infuriating. I understand the grammatical concepts and am adept at spelling. In fact, I would call myself quite literate. I have a fundamental knowledge of economics, calculus, chemistry, and literature (French and English) that I hope to expand on within the next few years when I begin college.

    So where do I fit in to this prejudice?

    My only consolation is that I will outlive your close-mindedness.

  202. 12:57 pm

    They do have a sense of humor.

  203. Dessa Finnerty permalink
    7:56 pm

    I’m new to this blogging stuff and when I came across this I had to read it. I’m still laughing with tears. Thanks for making my day and for not using any text abbreviations (since I also have no idea what they mean). I’ll be following your words of wisdom from now on. By the way, my dad’s name was Don. He would have loved it too.

  204. Paula permalink
    8:56 pm

    As a secondary school teacher, I can’t but agree. However, I have to add one more thing – their great memory. While they seem to have problems with memorizing the ending in the third person singular of the Present Simple Tense, make just one lapsus linguae and they’ll be talking about it to their grandchildren.

  205. lindeegraphics permalink
    10:40 am

    This brightened up my morning, but us young folk are not all bad, sure we look/smell/act weird, and most of us are morons.

    Reffering to the re-opening of the evolution argument, i had the same discussion with a friend about how society seems to be splitting between those of use that will take the world further, and actually know how to peel a banana, and those with the visage of the neanderthal

  206. derralyn permalink
    9:28 am

    As a fairly young person (I’ve been informed by high school students that I need to use this term a little less loosely nowadays), I appreciate the balance of humor and unavoidable truth in this article (and all others, in fact).

    Keep up the good work!

  207. 4:12 pm

    You almost make being a senior cool. Not really. I’d rather be a selfish, naive young person then a crotchety, but smarter senior anytime.

    Your still very cool though for an old guy and so I’ve been sending some friends here. I hope they don’t get rickets from you.

  208. Scott permalink
    2:10 pm

    That one’s hilarious too–damn, I’m getting old!

  209. 8:51 am

    You’ve hit the nose on the head, Don. I’d just like to add one more.

    They do not take offense easily.
    This blog will certainly not offend them because most of them cannot read it. There is not one single OMG or emoticon in your whole post.

  210. Maria Serena Baldanza permalink
    1:40 pm

    Hello Donald, I’m an Italian girl and I’m doing a research on young people of North America and looking at the English language I found this page accidentally … in fact some things are quite true in fact since using facebook (the famous socialnetwork) I feel an obligation to share as almost every other single thing that happened to me during the day or days in the past …. but I must say that at least as far as I know we are not so much aggressive but many other things you said are true! I will esteem as Person = D in case you do not know that’s a happy face

  211. 9:50 pm

    It’s funny but a bit grating to see so many self proclaimed young but like, totes mature people congratulate themselves on recognising the humour in cliches about young people… while completely missing that “don” is probably about 20 something himself.

    • 2:46 am

      @MFO, yes, the more I read this blog, the more I tend to think that this is an A-for-effort social experiment of someone much younger than “Don” but I keep shrugging it off for the entertainment value this provides.

      • 3:02 pm

        Ah yes, I’m not arguing with “don”‘s entertainment value, it’s a funny blog with a unique angle. It’s the commenters that are embarrassing themselves with all this “Well Don I’m actually 20 but I seem like I’m 40, not because I’m wrinkly but because I’m so mature, and you’re spot on about my peers, they are so annoying with their emoticons but I can spell properly”… they’re far up their own asses. That’s the trouble with young people in these comments.

  212. 6:20 pm

    Dear Dom, I think I am the youngest example of “young people” on this blog post to date. I have recently turned 14 years of age and I found this blog post humorous and full of wit. I live in Essex, England – stereotypically home to life sized oranges, pPl d@t sPe@k lyK DIs, 5 year olds that buy the padded bras in Primark, and where it’s perfectly normal to have a girl in your year become pregnant and still be able to party every night. Just the other week, a boy in my year group came into school high on crack. No lie. Also, the amount of year 7’s (ages 11-12) that smoke at my school is unbelievable! Also “hands down underpants” are common actions partaken by boys – not attractive.

    • 6:26 pm

      *Don. Or sir, as requested in your comment section. Have a nice day.

  213. Kimberly permalink
    12:58 am

    I love this post. Very funny and also very accurate. You are a wise man indeed!


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