I Thought the Nixon Plate was a Hell of a Deal…
A few weeks ago I decided the time had come to get rid of some of the possessions I’ve accumulated over the past several decades.
I contemplated putting up a notice on the bulletin board at the Piggly Wiggly but was concerned that it might set me up for burglary or – even worse – result in hordes of damned young people traipsing through my house and putting their hands all over my knick knacks.
So I decide to give in to modern technology and sell my treasures on that infernal Ebay. Despite the quality of the goods and fair pricing I didn’t get a single bid. Just goes to show you that in addition to lacking common sense, young people have no damned taste either.
Here is a sample of some of the wares I was prepared to part with.
There’s something about eating pork chops off Nixon’s face which is both apt and pleasing. I’m not sure where I acquired this but beyond a slight chip on Nixon’s shoulder it’s in pristine condition and would make a fine compliment to any collection of Presidential dinnerware. (Priced reasonably but I was also prepared to make a straight trade for a Spiro Agnew necktie).
I picked this up back in the mid 60s and was told it was a Civil War artefact which had been used to hang both ferns and Confederates at the Battle of Pea Ridge. In addition to its historical value, it will also hold a 5 pound potted geranium with no problem and is damned pleasing to the eye. I had expected some animated bidding.
Attractive layout, spacious and with only one previous occupant! A decent urn which in a pinch can also be used as an ashtray, flower vase or for chipping golf balls into in your back yard. Truth be told, I was just looking to unload it after an unfortunate dusting accident early last spring resulted in 90% of my former brother-in-law getting lost in my shag carpeting.
Gently used by a little old man who only ever wore them to Church on Sundays. Off the rack irregulars (note: upper contains 3 “extra” teeth) but well suited to anyone with a big mouth and roomy jaw. Not recommended for use on meat, hard candy or extremely stale bread. I was quite surprised that no one snapped these up.
What can I say…waste not, want not. And ask anyone – I make a damned good tuna sandwich.
Other items for sale included: an amber glass panther sculpture, hard candy, confiscated baseballs, half a tube of Ben-Gay, a ball of string, assorted combs, odd socks and 600 multi-colored rubber bands. Looks like I’ll just have to repost them closer to Christmas or wait until Spring and have a good old fashioned yard.