God Damned Fame-Obsessed Young People Make Me Furious!
The problem with young people today is that they all want to be famous.
Back when I was a lad young people weren’t consumed with fame – we strove for obscurity. The only young people who were famous in my day were talented film stars like Shirley Temple and Spanky McFarland or loveable freaks like Jo-Jo the Dog faced boy and Judy Garland. Everyone else was happy to be ordinary – exactly the way our parents raised us to be.
To us fame was like the tubeless radio, talking pictures or the French – unnatural, showy and pretentious as hell.
But these young people today? Ask any of them what they’re striving to become and nine times out of ten the answer will be “famous.” They don’t want to be bankers, pig jobbers, wheel tappers or phrenologists anymore – the pinnacle of their career ambition is to be photographed vomiting on the hood of a Ferrari outside of the Viper Room immediately following the release party for their latest sex tape.
Call me a damned dinosaur but when exactly was “being famous” deemed to be a career in the first place? It used to be that people had to make some sort of unique contribution, have a special gift or at least have a job in order to be famous. You had to develop a polio vaccine, walk on the moon or ruthlessly persecute communist screenwriters before you earned our adoration – but not anymore.
Nowadays any chubby dimwit with a video camera and an I.Q. that straddles the line between mental deficient and village idiot can achieve overnight fame by launching fireworks out of their ass, waving light sabres around in their carport or railing against the injustice of being a “ginger” on the internet.
These damned young people would be wise to reconsider their dangerous fascination with fame and get back to focusing on their own limitations. The sooner they come to understand that 99 per cent of young people are untalented, uninteresting and unimportant the sooner they can all get back toiling away at thankless jobs in quiet anonymity. Just the way God intended them to.
They all want to be famous. That’s the problem with young people today.