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God Damned Fame-Obsessed Young People Make Me Furious!

The problem with young people today is that they all want to be famous.

Back when I was a lad young people weren’t consumed with fame – we strove for obscurity. The only young people who were famous in my day were talented film stars like Shirley Temple and Spanky McFarland or loveable freaks like Jo-Jo the Dog faced boy and Judy Garland. Everyone else was happy to be ordinary – exactly the way our parents raised us to be.

To us fame was like the tubeless radio, talking pictures or the French – unnatural, showy and pretentious as hell.

But these young people today? Ask any of them what they’re striving to become and nine times out of ten the answer will be “famous.” They don’t want to be bankers, pig jobbers, wheel tappers or phrenologists anymore – the pinnacle of their career ambition is to be photographed vomiting on the hood of a Ferrari outside of the Viper Room immediately following the release party for their latest sex tape.

Call me a damned dinosaur but when exactly was “being famous” deemed to be a career in the first place? It used to be that people had to make some sort of unique contribution, have a special gift or at least have a job in order to be famous.  You had to develop a polio vaccine, walk on the moon or ruthlessly persecute communist screenwriters before you earned our adoration – but not anymore.

Nowadays any chubby dimwit with a video camera and an I.Q. that straddles the line between mental deficient and village idiot can achieve overnight fame by launching fireworks out of their ass, waving light sabres around in their carport or railing against the injustice of being a “ginger” on the internet.

These damned young people would be wise to reconsider their dangerous fascination with fame and get back to focusing on their own limitations. The sooner they come to understand that 99 per cent of young people are untalented, uninteresting and unimportant the sooner they can all get back toiling away at thankless jobs in quiet anonymity. Just the way God intended them to.

They all want to be famous. That’s the problem with young people today.

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83 Comments leave one →
  1. 12:18 am

    I supposed I am guilty as charged.
    My ambitions involve writing interesting thought provoking novels with socialist, feminist, homoerotic and or existential bent, and sneak some good smut into it.

    I also would like to find Alexander the Greats tomb which was lost at some point in Egypt, after Pmotly stole it and before Rome took over Egypt.

    I realize these will likely never happen but hey if it gets me up in the morning right?

    Also Welcome back. The school year is starting again and I may need your help to remain sane among my moronic peers.

    • 12:33 am

      Always nice to hear from you Rose.

      Where has the summer gone? Seems like just yesterday I was unpacking my summer sweaters and turning the thermostat on the furnace down to 75. Fall will be here before we know it.

      I don’t see any problem in finding fame in as a writer of novels, Rose. At least that requires effort and some amount of skill. I’ll keep an eye on the lesbian-feminist-socialist-existential-smut section of my local library for your book! Get working on it, though, lass. I won’t be around forever.

      Good luck with the school year. Don’t forget to take your teacher an apple.

      All the best,


      • 12:53 am

        Nope the apples are for me, they keep my blood sugar regulated, and I’ll need that, becuase Tuesday and Thursday I’m on campus for over Tweleve hours. Monday and Wensday only require four hours plus two hours travel. I have Fridays off but will probably be in a library trying to keep up.

        I am taking Spanish communications, Abnormal Psychology, Critical reading and thinking, Sociology and, Pre civil war history (A Us history course). Also I’ll be hitting the gym and trying to get a preforming arts group going. So I might be crank by next Sunday.

        • 1:01 am

          Sounds like a fine balance of classes. If I can help you out with the pre-civil war history let me know – I might have some first hand experiences I can share.


          p.s. If they offer wheel-tapping or pig-jobbing as electives give it some thought. Always good for a lass to have a fall-back trade.

      • Sedate Me permalink
        3:52 pm

        Mr Mills,

        Ninety percent of young people can’t even read anything longer than a Tweet from another Twit without bursting into tears and admitting they were responsible for the World Trade Centre attacks. The next Dick Cheney won’t have to waterboard. He’ll just have to hand them Russian novels. (But he will, just for the sadistic fun of it.)

        The idea that any of today’s young people will write a book is astounding. If any actually do, I’m sure they will be illiterate ramblings about Playstations or masturbation techniques and will be mostly pictures. However, the effort is at least to be commended.

        • 10:55 pm

          Waterboarding and Oblomov. Serves them the Hell right.

          • 11:13 pm

            ….I wish I had Russian novel. I have to be out of the house for fourteen hours Tuesday and Thursday.

            • 11:17 pm

              Not to sound like a damned commie know-it-all young person but you actually can’t go far wrong with Oblomov or “The Nose” by Gogol. Both make for fine reading.

  2. cleverlittlemiss permalink
    12:21 am

    Hahaha…yes many of them strive for fame but are without talent and what amazes me most is that companies pay young people to be “famous” which means going out and making idiots of themselves for attention. That is the reason everyone wants to do it—you get paid, it is ridiculous. It is sad when someone like Paris Hilton has become a permanent figure in popular culture all because she made a sex tape and went to the slammer for like 30 seconds. Why does the media even cover stories like hers and Lindsay Lohan’s? They are gross females and not good examples of what a lady should be.

    • 12:40 am

      Thank you Cleverlittlemiss,

      You’re damned right that about both of those young ladies. The fascination with their moronic behavior eludes me entirely.

      You never saw Shirley Temple shaving her head sans underpants or falling over drunk and you never will!

      Many thanks for visiting.

      Best regards,


      • Sedate Me permalink
        3:57 pm

        I did hear a rumour that Fatty Arbuckle got her drunk once and took some pictures while she was passed out.

  3. 12:28 am

    Judy Garland…a freak. I was really trying to come up with an argument to the contrary, but look at HER daughter…

    The actual number of interesting youth might be closer to 1 out of 1000 might be accurate.

    • 12:45 am

      Nice to hear from you morethananelectrician,

      I always had a soft spot for Judy Garland but the lass had problems – not the least of which was that daughter. (I heard she just signed to play Fester in the Broadway production of “The Addams Family Musical.”)

      I think you may be right about the numbers, lad. I suppose I’m ever the optomist.

      All the best,


  4. 12:38 am

    Thank you for tagging this with “Jo Jo the dog faced boy.” I will never miss this blog again.

    Mr. Mills, at one point fame was fleeting. Even the WWI doughboy who threw himself on a grenade to save his platoon was only famous until Rondo Hatton made his film debut. Today, all you have to do to be famous for life is to have one unsatisfying indiscretion with a golfer. That person will continue to be featured on TMZ until she dies of an STD. And equally sadly, TMZ won’t be going anywhere either.

    If all of these young people want to be famous, let them be famous the way artists have been famous for centuries- after they die.

    • 12:48 am

      Many thanks bmj2k,

      “If all of these young people want to be famous, let them be famous the way artists have been famous for centuries- after they die.”

      That really should have been the last line of this post. It’s damned perfect and sums up my views on the issue perfectly. My thanks for that.

      Good to hear from you. I hope you’re keeping well.

      Best regards,


    • Sedate Me permalink
      4:00 pm

      TMZ is an STD.

  5. 12:42 am

    On the bright side, to get their five minutes of fame, these stupid kids will pull increasingly dangerous stunts in front of the camera, like their heroes on Jack-Ass.

    Sooner or later, it’s gonna back fire. And that will be a few LESS ass-clowns around to dilute our already-shallow gene pool.

    PS. Good to see you back, Don. We missed you.

    • 1:05 am

      Many thanks Friar,

      I’ll keep a good thought and hope they start loading the fireworks backward. (Now there’s a young person stupid video I might actually enjoy).

      Good to be back lad. Looks like you’ve had some successful fishing. Wish I could say the same.

      All the best,


  6. Debbi permalink
    1:29 am

    Great post! Nice to have you back, Don. Sorry if you didn’t catch any fish, but you sound rested and rarin’ to go.

    • 10:57 pm

      Many thanks Debbi.

      A very nice vacation. No fish but no damned young people either. That’s the beauty of the lake – young people tend to avoid water unless it is channelled through waterslides and artificially created waves.

      All the best,


  7. 1:42 am

    Yeah! And Andy Warhol, who made himself famous by copying soup can and soap pad labels knew all about this, he just got the math wrong. Although, the 15 minutes of fame he allotted were probably close if you reckon the time acceleration factor. 15 1960s minutes would seem to drag on interminably to these kids today. Their attention span is measured in mouse-clicks and milliseconds. Just look at the movies. If you can even get a young person to watch a “non-color” motion picture, let’s choose a “classic” like The Thin Man, or Mr. Hulot’s Holiday, it’s a guarantee that they’ll be texting to their buddies on their cell phone before the opening credits have finished to see if there’s a way out of this two hours of deadly boredom.

    You’d think that they’d have learned from all the TV shows about how bad those famous people actually are (as cited above: puking on Ferraris) that fame is really NOT a good thing. I’ve come to believe that the illusion of having many people love you a little overwhelms the reality of having a few people that love you a lot. Damned statistics again.

    • 8:32 am

      Monsieur Hulot’s Holiday is one of the best films ever made!!!!!

      • Debbi permalink
        2:12 am

        That is a great movie! That and “Playtime.”

    • 11:05 pm

      Very well said David.

      It’s a damned shame that they don’t make movies like The Thin Man anymore. Or women like Myrna Loy.

      I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve never seen Mr./Monsieur Hulot’s Holiday – it sounds a little too French for my like but based on your recommendation (and that of Nurse Myra) I’ll have to see if I can round up an old VHS and give it a view.

      All the best David and thanks for visiting.


      • 12:05 am

        Thanks for chiming in nursemyra (and may I say that of all the people employed in healthcare nurses deserve our highest esteem?)! Les vacances de Monsieur Hulot would have escaped my attention were it not for taking French in high school. As a teenager in the early ’70s the nearly silent film took a fair amount of patience. But it also helped me to understand why the French thought so much of Jerry Lewis’s comedy. I think.

  8. 4:46 am

    Shirley’s first film was 1932.
    The last Spanky movie was 1942.

    I would have taken you for younger than that Don.

  9. 4:48 am

    Dear Sir,

    Yes, I agree. Vanishing into obscurity is the best thing that could ever happen to someone. Well, hit me if you think it’s a bad reason but the Tao says so. Diminishing yourself protects from the ones who seek your harm. Eventually, you go invisible to them as long as you don’t show off. It’s the best protection of all.

    Besides, fame is fleeting. The ones who achieve fame now will eventually die and be forgotten. Even I’m forgetting Michael Jackson. Is that even how it’s spelled?

    (No, I’m kidding.)

    Jonathan Ferxist

    • 11:12 pm

      Many thanks young Jonathan,

      I don’t know much about the Tao but it sounds right to me.

      You’re right – flame is fleeting and especially so if your only claim to it is videotaping your damned child after his trip to the dentist. Fleeting and entirely undeserved.

      All the best lad. Thanks for stopping in.

      Best regards,


  10. 5:17 am

    Dear Don,

    Thank you, as always, for sharing your thoughts with us.

    I, myself, have long since wondered when trade schools would start offering Personal Grooming and Camera Craft units for those who were only studying carpentry to go on one of those DIY Makeover shows. Same applies to veterinarian science and the police academy.

    Yours sincerely,

    The NDM

    • 11:23 pm

      Many thanks NDM,

      A fine point. We seem to be thrusting everyone from scrap metal merchants to bakers to fishermen in front of the small screen so I suppose it only makes sense to groom them for their future roles. Having said that, being camera-ready hardly seems to be the main requirement – absolute and abject stupidity seems to trump that. Especially on the damned internets.

      Lovely to hear from you NDM. Trust that John-Sam lad has finally arrived and been put to work.

      Warm regards,


  11. 7:18 am

    Actually, you have to admire their business plan. They’re pandering to that 99 percent who are untalented, uninteresting and unimportant, and have nothing better to do than boost the fame of someone who is no more talented, interesting or important than they are. Just don’t expect them to know what a percent is.

    • 11:58 pm

      Many thanks Cooper Green,

      I’ve long since given up on hoping any damned young person would know what a percent is. In fact, I try to stay away from anyone under 25 who might be attempting mental math. It can get pretty damned messy when their heads explode.

      Thanks for visiting, Mr. Green. Nice to hear from you.

      All the best,


  12. 7:52 am

    I hope that you had a nice, quiet fishing expedition Don, but it’s great to have you back. The damn young people were beginning to question their societal roles and step out of line. Also I think I saw two from the neighborhood casing your house… so it’s good that you’re back.

    I couldn’t agree more with your sad assessment of this new culture of fast food notoriety. I believe that the roots of this problem can be traced all the way back to little Timmy. If Lassie would have just left that little imp to expire in the well we wouldn’t have had the next generation trying to get stuck in wells just so they could get airtime. And we damn sure wouldn’t have had the Balloon Boy.

    • 12:14 am

      Thank you Scott,

      I appreciate your letting me know about the damned young people. Honestly, if you aren’t beating them down constantly and keeping them in line they’re all over you like stink on rice. Grateful for you keeping an eye on the house too.

      I see your point but I’m not sure I put the blame on that Timmy kid. It was that damned dog that was hogging all the glory and seemed to have ambitions beyond the natural reach of his species. Damned showy beast too – all puffed up and perfectly coiffed.

      Still, I come to the same conclusion. If Lassie had just scratched itself, chased its tail and then had a nap like a normal damned dog instead of worrying about some clumsy kid we’d all be a hell of a lot better off.

      Always good to hear from you lad.

      Best regards,


  13. 10:03 am

    Boy, you have hit the idiot on the bean today! This whole desire to be famous and the worshipping of the “process” is what fuels the popularity of all those idiotic reality shows that stink up the airwaves.
    “Gee, that could be me! I could be famous and win the million dollars!”

    A million dollars doesn’t go as far as it used to, either.

    • 1:23 pm

      Many thanks healingmagichands,

      Stinking up the airwaves indeed. It almost makes me long for gameshows.

      I hope you’re keeping well.

      All the best,


  14. 3:13 pm

    I used to want to be famous. The problem with fame is that you can’t have any skeletons in the closet. I happen to have a nice collection.

    • 1:24 pm

      Thank you Ahmnodt,

      Interesting. I was under the impression that having skeletons in your closet was actually a requirement these days. You may be better positioned than you think,

      All the best,


  15. Sedate Me permalink
    5:19 pm

    Mr Mills, you’ve hit the nail on the head once again.

    Celebrity obsession and the obsession with becoming a celebrity is the real Swine Flu and far, far, more dangerous.

    These worthless young people think the only way to insert meaning into their empty, pathetic, little lives is to have as many people as possible pay attention to them. Instead of directing their efforts towards achieving something meaningful or important that would MERIT some attention paid to them, they turn to the media.

    Why? Because they know the media will reward them for their worthlessness. The media is run by enormous mega-corporations who exist purely to make as much money as possible by any means necessary. These companies know there is no market for discussing meaningful or important things. The money is in the stupid and meaningless. And the more stupid and meaningless garbage they provide, the more our appetite for it grows. Essentially, the media has become a perpetual motion machine for idiocy. Therefore, the stupider you are, the more meaningless your “talent” and the more you are willing to debase yourself, the more likely you will be rewarded with fame.

    The world has never been so fame-whore friendly. Thanks to the explosion of media outlets looking to fill space with cheap shit, any idiot can become famous. As for talent, talent has all but become irrelevant thanks to modern technology and a distinct lack of taste and standards amongst the general population. For example:

    -Thanks to Autotune, literally anyone who can make noises with their mouths can be turned into a singing star.
    and anybody who can click a mouse can be a “musician”.

    -Thanks to Reality TV, anyone with sufficient mental illness and a corresponding lack of shame can get on TV.

    -Thanks to George W. Bush and Sarah Palin, village idiots can be considered viable candidates for President.

    • Sedate Me permalink
      8:27 pm

      Actually, I think this link to the same stuff
      works a little better, especially on slower computers.

    • 3:12 pm

      Many thanks Sedate Me.

      As always, a very enjoyable comment. The perpetual motion machine for idiocy is about as apt a description of the media as I’ve heard in a good long time.

      I’m not sure if George W. and Ms. Palin blazed the trail on village idiots in office – seems to me that they may just be following a well-worn path. I suspect that village idiots of all stripes have been seeking public office for as long as people have been marking “X” on a ballot.

      Thanks for the links too. If I ever decide to release a senior citizen rap album that autotune nonsense may come in handy.

      All the best, Sedate me.


      • Sedate Me permalink
        5:38 pm

        You’re welcome, sir. The pleasure is all mine.

        I thought you’d enjoy the link. I’m trying to find a program on the Internet where you can Autotune yourself for free. (“Smart” Phone applications, yes. Computer program, not yet.) I’d love to hear you do something along the lines of what the Gregory Brothers do, only with a seniors twist to it. For example, a song like “Get of my lawn, Satan spawn!” If I find one, I’ll let you know.

        You’re certainly right about idiots coming in all political stripes. (I could name a few of my own stripe.) But the “success” of George Dumbya and Fargo Barbie has unquestionably “raised” the bar substantially for all future village idiots. If these two can get away with it, then what’s to stop all these idiotic young people from thinking they deserve the job too. What’s scary is that, one day, one of these young people will get it. Terrifying stuff.

        • 3:06 pm

          Appreciate it, Sedate me.

          Let me know if you do find one. I’ve already spoken to some of the lads at the seniors centre and we think the time may be right to form an octogenarian “Boy Band.”

          “Get off my lawn, Satan Spawn” would be a fine single and a good album title as well. I’m already working on some other ditties to round out the record:

          Side A

          1. Get off my lawn, Satan Spawn
          2. Slack Jawed with Pants to Match
          3. Does My Nipple Ring look Infected to You?
          4. I’m Entitled (whiney bastard ballad)
          5. All I want for Christmas is a Barbed Wire Tattoo, an Iphone, a Lap Top, A Car and a bunch of other stuff.

          Side B

          1.Don’t blame me – blame ADHD
          2. Another Day Another Dullard
          3. I’m a non-conformist in the same way all my friends are.
          4. Red Food Dye No. 3 (love song)
          5. If I’d known my ex-boyfriend was going to post those naked pictures of me on the Internet I probably might not have done it maybe. (rapidshare remix)

          I think we could even look at starting a new dance craze – the Twitterbug.

    • 3:24 pm

      Dear Sedate Me and Don, may I semi-seriously extend the conversation by adding that, at least from my distorted world view, a lot of the “desire for fame” is driven by the kids/young adults having no self-belief or personal self-confidence. They have hazy (at best) ideas of social values and behavioural boundaries so seek affirmation by popular (media driven) endorsement of the most extreme acts they can do. Sad really. And at whom’s feet does the blame for this fall?


      • 3:14 pm

        Many thanks gallowaygrave,

        I’m in agreement that young people have hazy (at best) notions of social value and boundaries and that they crave attention but I’m not so sure about the self-confidence. It seems to be that the majority of these young sprouts are brimming with hubris (and entirely undeserved hubris at that). In my view, they all seem to think they’re entitled to fame and are quick to blame anyone but themselves if it isn’t readily achieved.

        As for fault – I acknowledge that the damned parents have a role here. I was raised in a time before it was discovered that effective child-rearing was premised on overfeeding, overindulging and over-stimulating. Still, ultimately people need to take responsibilities for their own damned actions and stop blaming everyone that came before them.

        Thanks for piping in. Appreciate hearing from you.


      • Sedate Me permalink
        2:00 pm

        Gallowaygrave, to answer your question, the reason these little shits are so much stupider, shallower, more materialistic and desperate for attention is because they were programmed to be that way and have the programming reinforced at every turn.

        Douche-bag corporations have entire departments dedicated to psychologically manipulating kids. Companies that don’t even sell products for kids now do it. Like wolves hunting deer, or NAMBLA members hunting boys, their goal is to isolate the young and vulnerable from their parents and the protective social values/behavioural boundaries of the herd, so that they can prey on them.

        Kids’ brains are literally being picked apart and re-wired to turn them into generations of mindless, robotic, consumers who are narcissistic, feel entitled to everything and yet are still unsatisfied with themselves. (Thus the desire to be validated by fame/popularity.) It’s great for business, lousy for society.

        While a tad out of date, these two links sum it up quickly:

        Or, you can let one of the leading, sociopathic, child manipulators tell you in her own words what she does, as she tries desperately not to laugh gleefully about it like a villain in a James Bond film.

        Or, you could watch a bunch of spoilsports (aka child advocates) in this promo for the movie Consuming Kids (also available here).

        And, of course, dishonourable mention goes to a generation of lousy parents, governments, schools, churches and other so-called “guardians” who just allow kids to be psychologically damaged for profit.

    • Fairy Face permalink
      11:31 am

      Fame whore lol I like that. Yep plenty of them around.

  16. mediamugshot permalink
    8:05 pm

    Jo Jo couldn’t even BE famous today … as anyone who speaks three languages is usually relegated to “nerdly and irrelevant” status.

    Couldn’t we just go ahead and long for the day when EVERYBODY is famous? If “The Incredibles” taught me anything, it’s that if everyone’s super, then no one is.

    That and that the lead singer from Stillwater has hero issues.

    • 5:30 pm

      Thanks kindly mediamugshot,

      Very true about Jo Jo. A hairy face and penchant for languages wouldn’t likely generate much interest today. Shame.

      All the best,


  17. 10:04 pm

    This is so true. I just had a conversation with my son about someone on You Tube who has an animated orange video and makes hundreds of thousands of dollars a year on the thing. I urged him to do his summer reading assignment and stop bugging me.

    Look at Paris Hilton. Fame has become a career. It’s hideous.

    • 5:31 pm

      Many thanks Robin,

      Animated orange video? Apparently I’m living under a rock. Never heard of it.

      Nevertheless, glad to see you passed on some sage advice to that boy of yours. “Stop bugging me” is a fine parenting – and encouraging him to do his summer reading isn’t too bad either.

      Best regards,


  18. 11:49 pm

    Okay, first there was the picture Donald Mill sitting in an easy chair. Then it was a cartoon headshot of Donald Mills. Now we’re back to the original picture again. Or are we? Depending on your answer, I may need to lay off the meds.

    There IS injustice in being a ginger on the internet. What is a ginger?

    • 5:31 pm

      Thank you Tricia,

      No need to adjust your medication. I tired of the cartoon and went back to the original picture. Turns out I’m not the animated kind.

      As to gingers, they’re red heads.

      Hope you’re well and thanks for visiting.


  19. 8:01 pm

    Back in my day, we didn’t draw attention to ourselves for fear the police would find out we were the ones to TP the school.

    Now, young people are so fame obsessed they video tape themselves snorting cocaine and post pictures of their underage selves holding a beer on Facebook. Any cop with a computer and a lick of sense can see what these ninnys are up to.

    The only place they are going to be famous is on Cell Block D.

    • Sedate Me permalink
      1:52 pm

      This is why I laugh at anyone who thinks that surveillance cameras deter crime. Perhaps it might deter people over 50 who still fear being on camera, who think things through logically before acting and don’t own sunglasses or hoodies. In other words, nobody who would commit a crime in the first place.

      We’re dealing with a generation of young, moronic, criminals who video their own crimes and post them on the Internet for the entire world to see, often using their real names. You’d have to be as stupid as they are to think that recording them (and everybody else) will achieve anything other than getting some great “down-blouse” and “bend-over” shots for the store manager to keep, enjoy and share with friends.

      If anything, cameras actually encourage young people to commit crime, as it is their best chance to get their face on TV doing something “badass” that will enhance their “street cred”. As the police lead them into the courtroom they will turn to the TV news cameras, smile, mock seniors with arthritis-malformed hands (aka make gang signs) and say something like:

      “Yo, big up to all my peeps! Hopes I made you proud!”

      They will probably consider it the greatest moment of their lives.

  20. 2:05 am

    welcome back, don. one doesn’t have to exert oneself to be famous these days. you don’t have to make a sex tape or set yourself on fire. just get on a reality show and act like the lazy ass you are. you just have to get your foot in the door, and you can follow up by going to celebrity rehab, looking for a date, or becoming donald trump’s next asswiper. reality shows are a great big revolving door, and the possibilities are endless.

    • 5:04 pm

      Many thanks Nonnie.

      Donald Trump’s “next” asswiper? Does he need more than one or is it an entry level position people are generally promoted from? I assume the next step up from asswiper is bootlicker, food taster or concubine wrangler but its been a while since I was in the workforce.

      All the best Nonnie. Hope you’re keeping well.



  21. 2:39 am

    Blame Walt Disney. He’s the one who came out with the Mouseketeers and that girl with the big . . . um . . .shoulders. Since then, every kid in America wants to be famous. I even sent in a letter myself asking how I could be one. I got a note back saying, shutcher piehole and be thankful your obscure Signed, Don

    Say, did you ever work for Walt?

    • 5:13 pm

      Thank you Jammer,

      And fine advice it was if I do say so myself.

      I never worked for Mr. Disney but from what I’ve heard he was a cheap S.O.B. any a hell of a tyrant. Decent enough traits but all of that is tarnished by his insistence on creating entertainment for young people. Young people don’t need entertainment, they need purpose.

      I’m half tempted to track down his frozen head, thaw him out and give him a damned good talking to.

      All the best Jammer,


  22. 3:05 am


    I’m so happy you’re back! You look very well rested, It’s nice to see that you were smart enough wear your visor and an adequate amount of ‘SPF Infinity’ lotion.

    I agree, fame-obsessed young people drive me batty (do you guys still say that?). I find the Gingers a little sad to watch, though. Where are their Foster parents? Why aren’t they telling these kids to just be grateful they have a roof over their head and the occasional nod of acknowledgement? It’s sad, really.

    Wonderful post as always, Don.


    ps. It’s funny you mention Shirley Temple, I was actually named after one of her movies (Bschooled of Sunnybrook Farm).

    Okay, well I guess it’s not really that funny, but then again I still don’t quite get you old people’s sense of humor.

    • 1:35 pm

      Many thanks Bschooled,

      Nice to be back. But then again, it’s I consider nice just to wake up in the morning. (That would be an example of that “old people’s humor” you asked about.) We also enjoy the “old golfers/accountants/bowlers never die, they just lose their….” style of humor. The air can get quite blue around the seniors centre when Hap Gorman gets on a roll – he’s quite the Don Rickles.

      I have no idea who got those gingers all riled up but I absolutely agree that they should just count their damned blessings and consider themselves fortunate that we allow them to participate in civil society.

      Many thanks for visiting, Bschooled. Always lovely to hear from you.

      Your friend,


  23. 3:24 am

    Returning to your site after a long time, I’m glad to see that your bite is still intact.

    • 1:36 pm

      Many thanks doctoratlarge,

      Nice to see you back, lad. Hope you’re keeping well.

      Best regards,


  24. 4:19 pm

    “. . . the pinnacle of their career ambition is to be photographed vomiting on the hood of a Ferrari outside of the Viper Room immediately following the release party for their latest sex tape.”

    All those years in vomit class wasted. Huge student loan payments dragging me down and for what? Sleepless nights of vodka and the messy, stagnant hood of a 1978 Buick LaSabre waiting to be cleaned after grades were in (my Pell grant wouldn’t cover a Ferrari). Our “Viper Room” was the back porch of a small VFW, but the vets were understanding. Pell Grants DO cover bar tabs (written as “school supplies”). Fame is so damn fleeting.

    Great to have you back, Don. Hope you didn’t catch any celebrity bass or pretentious pike. All they ever want is a luxury underwater castle at the biggest aquarium.

    • 1:42 pm

      Thank you kindly Dan.

      The 78 LeSabre certainly had an ample hood. Damned good car too. Built to last and safe as hell. I run into 2 or 3 cars aweek with my LeSabre and always walk away without a scratch.

      Hope you’re well, Dan. Nice to hear from you.


  25. 12:06 am

    Absolutely right, Mr. Mills!
    These young people today want to be “famous”. Period. It doesn’t matter to them, what puts their face on TV – it could be for anything…including causing mayhem and murder! As long as they get their 15 seconds of fame, they’ve achieved their life’s goal…and that’s precisely why they never strive to do anything useful in life.
    Brilliant as always:)
    – Shafali

    • 1:44 pm

      Many thanks Shafali,

      You’re absolutely right. They’ll do just about anything to get their stupid mugs plastered across the television set. It’s damned sad and infuriating.

      All the best and thanks for visiting.


  26. 4:02 pm

    I knew this post was about Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag.

    I blame television. MTV television to be precise. That network made the regular guy or girl into Hollywood stars with the new quirky concept of Reality Shows. Several years later, everyone has a reality show. Even garbage men.

    The TV networks see the profits in these shows, no real actors, so no real exhobitant salaries, no shooting off set say, in Hawaii as ABC Lost did for six years. These shows are so cheap and bring in such high ratings that they multiply faster than a Zombie Apocalypse. In three years, there will be no more television programs to watch that are not reality spun.

    The world really is coming to an end in December of 2012. Reality programs are the cause the cause of death.

    • 1:47 pm

      Thank you kindly LOTGK,

      I appreciate your visiting, son. It was nice of you to stop in and leave a comment.

      I’m not overly concerned about the 2012 business. I figure if I can last that long I’ll have done pretty damned well.

      All the best,


  27. 6:34 pm

    “Get back to focusing on their own limitations” 🙂 Gold, Don!
    Welcome back!

    • 1:48 pm

      Many thanks Molly,

      Lovely to hear from you. Thanks for visiting and for the kind words.

      Warm regards,


  28. 6:42 pm

    Mr Mills

    I know he was before me, but who didnt want to be James Cagney or The Duke or Lee Marvin…i would like to have been them…..but you are wrong….YOU ARE FAMOUS….famous to all the people that read your blog….its a different sort of fame…your on blogrolls all may not be red carpet famous but folks all over tune in to see your GOD DAMN rants……Zman sends

  29. lookingforsomethingtofind permalink
    3:30 am

    Me the last thing I would want to be is famous, not being able to go to the store, without someone wanting to take your picture, too much of a hassle, besides no one ever gets famous for doing something anymore, the more useful it seems the less famous. No excuse me while I look for some casting calls and try and get an agent (just kidding).

  30. b74dst4 permalink
    4:27 pm

    i am very offended with this artical
    as a bidding actor at the age of 14
    it makes me mad that old twats like you dont give us
    any incuragement

    • 10:17 pm

      What can I say lad? We “old twats” are intirely enconsiderate and encorrigible too.

      And while I’d love to provide incuragement, I really can’t help but caution you against this acting foolishness. In addition to being a largely frivolous indevour, It seems to me that every damned 14-year old on the planet has his or her heart set on being the next Douglas Fairbanks or Thelma Todd.

      If I was going to incurage you to do anything it would be to give up this damned foolishness and consider a bidding career as an auctioneer.

      You young people never fail to amaze.

      Good luck son and all the best.


      • Sedate Me permalink
        1:21 pm

        If I was going to incurage you to do anything it would be to give up this damned foolishness and consider a bidding career as an auctioneer.

        Sir, that line was right up there with Babe Ruth’s “called shot”.

    • Sedate Me permalink
      1:19 pm

      Enjoy your career waiting tables, kiddo. Because that’s what the majority of aspiring “actors” actually wind up doing.

      By the way, it’s also a more societally useful and much more honourable profession.

    • Lola permalink
      2:27 am

      hahaha! 🙂 Good one!! I was going to write a ‘Dear Don, you are entitled to your own opinion but I believe that the disrespectful one here is you…Blahblahblah. The only thing I as a sixteen year old am guilty of here is the ownership of a mobile phone…..I hope when I’m old I won’t become resentful of the younger generation because my time is almost up…’

      but then I saw this, and realised this is just so much better 🙂

      i 2 am a bidding acter and i reely hate when peeple don’t give us incouragement.

  31. 2:49 pm

    I just love you!
    I think you could be my long lost twin.

  32. Anonymous permalink
    4:57 pm

    whats a ‘ginger?’

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