The Alphabet of Damned Young People Who Annoyed Me Today
A is for the Assclown who was standing on my grass,
B is for the Bonehead with a tattoo on her ass.
C is for the Crackhead who was passed out on the street,
D is for the Dimwit with his pants around his feet.
E is for the Emo with his ever-present pout,
F is for the Fatso who at 14 has the gout.
G is for the Goof-off who approached me for some cash,
H is for the Homeys and the gang signs that they flashed.
I is for the Ingrate, who gave his mother guff,
J is for the Junkie and the reefer that he puffed.
K is for the Kiddies riding skateboards after dark,
L is for the Losers trading hickeys in the park.
M is for Moron with the backwards baseball cap,
N is for the Numbskull in his car and blaring rap.
O is for the Oddball with the pins stuck through his lip,
P is for the Punkers who think mohawks make them hip.
Q is for the Question – Is that a girl or boy?
R is for the Reprobates who no one will employ.
S is for the Simpleton who kicked over my trash,
T is for the Tramp who sports a most suspicious rash.
U is for the Unemployed who gather in the malls,
V is for the Vandal spraying paint upon the walls.
W is the Wailing Goth who is all angst and gloom,
X is for the X-box kid who’s never left his room.
Y is for Young People, I see them all day long; and
Z is for the Zoo in which they damn well all belong.