Computer Acronyms for Old People

I don’t care for the damned abbreviations that young people use while chatting on the interwebs.

Not only are they a lazy way of saving keystrokes, I’m always suspicious of young people communicating in code. I don’t mind good old fashioned acronyms like NASA, UNICEF and POLYGRIP but who knows what kind of insidious plots they are cooking up with this “ROTFBMERKGRNMAUL” nonsense. I can’t be sure but it likely involves elder abuse, forced imprisonment in nursing homes and cannabas-laden baked goods.

Well the time has come for seniors to strike back, take the young people’s cryptic abbreviations and make them our own.

To get the ball rolling, I offer the following possible suggestions:

 BFF

1) Bran Flakes Forever
2) Best Friend’s Funeral
3) Been Falling Frequently

BRB

1) Bring Radio Back
2) Bursitis Real Bad
3) Beloved Red Buttons

BTW

1) Born To Wander
2) Broke The Wheelchair
3) Bed The Widow

GTG

1) Going To Graveside
2) Good Time Granny
3) Got the Gout

HAGD

1) Have Any Good Diuretics?
2) Hopeless Assclowns Getting Drunk
3) Heard Andy Griffith Died?

IMO

1) In Monday’s Obituaries
2) Imagine My Outrage
3) Incontinence May Occur

LMAO

1) Like Many Absentminded Oldsters
2) Love My Arthritis Ointment
3) Like Most Angry Octogenarians

LOL

1) Little Old Lady
2) Lots Of Lumbago
3) Lincoln Oldsmobile Lover

OMG

1) Old Man Groaning
2) One More Goiter
3) Open My Geritol

OTW

1) Off The Walker
2) Open To Whisky
3) Old Time Wattle

POS

1) Please Obey Seniors
2) Post Operative Stitches
3) Proud of Senility

ROFL

1) Rude Oafs Flaunting Lawlessness
2) Really Old Ford LeBaron
3) Retirement Opportunity, Fort Lauderdale

TTYL

1) Those Tattooed Young Layabouts
2) Tube Topped Young Lady
3) Try Taking Your Laxatives

WTF

1) Wag The Finger
2) Where’s The Fire?
3) Wanton Teenage Freaks

Please feel free to add to the list. If we work together we can stop whatever the Hell nonsense these young people might be plotting. 

But for now, I need sustenance and rest – IMHO, IRL and then GFN. (I may have oatmeal, imbibe rye liberally and then go for nap.)