God Damned Young People Just Won’t Move Out!
The problem with young people today is that they never leave home.
Back in my day, young people left home at a reasonable age and went out to make their way in the world. We were shown the door at the age of 16 and if we couldn’t find an apartment to live in were expected to build one of our own.
It made sense, damn it! Parents had suffered enough during their years of child rearing and it was considered cruel to make them endure young people a day longer then required by law.
But these young people today, they’re like cockroaches – no matter what you do, you can’t get them out of the damn house! They come up with all kinds of excuses but I suspect it’s nothing less than an elaborate young person conspiracy to drive their elders to insanity, bankruptcy and an early grave.
In my day, there was no way in Hell you’d find some mollycoddled thirty-something living in his parents basement while he tried to “find himself.” The only place he’d find himself was kicked to the curb – and he’d be better off for it. It’s no wonder these young people today all toddle around like oversized babies, they’ve been sucking at the parental teat for 30 years longer than God intended.
But the thing I really don’t understand is that when they finally do get up off their duffs and leave, they come back before the celebratory scotch has even been finished. In my day, when you moved out your parents changed the locks, put a “for sale” sign on the lawn, took a new last name and moved to Florida in the dark of night.
How the Hell do we expect our young people to grow up if they’re still sleeping in a race car bed at middle age. Honestly, we’re raising a generation of perpetual adolescents and that spells trouble for the economy, the future and the god damned social fabric of America.
They never leave home. That’s the problem with young people today.
So true, Mr. Mills! I just found out a guy I dated five years ago still lives with his mother, but now he lives there with his girlfriend and their baby. He’s thirty years old. Ugh.
Thank you Shannon,
I think you made a wise decision in cutting your ties with that young man. He’s an obvious ne’er-do-well and likely a momma’s boy too boot.
And I assume you mean that he lives there with his “wife” and their baby.
Best Regards,
Don
I second that…..younger folk complain they dont have enough freedom but cannot get up the nads to live on their own…i was up and out at 18..see ya….zman sends
Mr. Zman,
Always a pleasure to hear from you, son. Hope all is well.
Best,
Don
“parents changed the locks, put a “for sale” sign on the lawn, took a new last name and moved to Florida in the dark of night.”
Don, maybe the parents will be better off doing the same when the kid is at his high school graduation party!
Anyways, I thought I’d nip by here and let you know that your are one of the recipients of my blog awards:
http://soulsez.wordpress.com/2009/07/09/blog-awards-july-2009/
Thank you for visiting!
Many thanks Archie,
That’s damned kind of you. I’ll pop over after my raisin toast and have a look.
Thanks again,
Don
Dear Don,
Once again you have hit the nail on the head and described exactly what is wrong with society.
Back in my day, everyone left home as soon as they could, because we wanted to be independent of our parents and have our own lives to live how we wanted.
The only people who stayed at home living under their parent’s roof were disabled and/ or retarded because they had nowhere else to go.
These days, young people lack courage, moral fibre and wouldn’t know what “independence” was, even if it poked them in the eye with a burnt stick.
In a nutshell, they are too damned scared.
In their parent’s basement, they certainly aren’t “finding themselves”. What they are finding is how to steal the neighbour’s wireless connection, illegally downloading porn, music (which ruins the music industry) and movies (which ruins the film industry) and playing online poker.
These basement dwelling cockroaches are living in their fantasy virtual world, financially and emotionally draining not just their families but undermining the whole fabric of our society.
Lily Fossil
Well said, Lily, well said.
As usual, I agree with every point you’ve raised.
I wonder if there is any chance that their illegal downloading of pornography might ruin that industry as well? I can’t say I’d be sorry for that particular outcome. In fact, I’d be quite delighted. This ridiculous modern day fascination with – and glorification of – pornography is repugnant to me.
Thank goodness there are still folks like you out there Lily. Our social fabric is certainly unravelling but it’s folks like you that keep it from coming apart at the seams.
hey you old folks severely screwed our chances as young adults to prosper and grow like you were able to do to your greed and crappy decisions and policies.. id love to even be able to have a job t move out but it seems you care too much about hiring illegals to make an extra penny. ya talk about society biting you in the ass huh..
Sorry for the delay in responding Adam.
I was busy using punctuation and yelling at my Mexican grounds crew.
And don’t even try to tell me it is my fault that you don’t have the drive, intelligence or work ethic to get a damned job. Seems to me like you’re prepared to blame everyone else so that you don’t have to take a look at your god-damned self.
Honestly, you young people need to give your heads a shake.
Best regards
Don
Here, Here (or is it Hear, Hear?). You got this one nailed! God forbid they should spend any of their hard earned money on rent or anything silly or mundane like that. All accumulated wealth has to go toward the top end electronics, fashion labels and trips to Europe.
Thanks Yorksnbeans,
I believe it is “Hear, Hear” but if in doubt “Hear, here” will at least ensure that you’re never entirely wrong.
Thanks for the comment. I have a neighbour down the street with an idiot son who fits that category. He’s somewhere between 19 and 30 (hard to tell because you never see him during daylight hours) and all of his money seems to go toward personal toys, not helping out his old mother.
Doesn’t even cut the grass.
All the best,
Don
Staying at home longer than necessary? No thanks. As soon as I’m done with my current education, I’m moving my ass to the Navy. It would be a year later than your ideal age of being shown the door, but at least I’ll actually stay away.
Good on you Sander.
The Navy you say? A fine choice, lad, and I’m sure you’ll do well.
Regards,
Don
Hello Don.
If I may argue, the current state of the economy right now is hard on a lot of people, and they need to save money one way or the other, and some of them see staying home a bit longer as one way of doing it.
Hell, a lot of people can’t afford college.
Nice to hear from you, Janus.
And, please, you’re free to disagree, argue or just plain tear a strip off me any time you like. Zman does it with alarming frequency but he seems subdued today.
I’m sure that there are many cases where a lack of job may be holding some young people back and I don’t begrudge them that (provided they are trying) but I think there are a far greater number that are just a little too comfortable at home and (as Yorksnbeans suggests) are quite happy with a rent free arrangement which provides them with greater disposable income to spend on silly gadgets and fancy underpants.
(Damn but that was a long and unruly sentence.)
As for college. I was fortunate and had some additional education but some the finest people I’ve worked with (or for) didn’t have college degrees – just smarts, common sense and a good work ethic. Still, it would be nice if everyone had the opportunity to attend if interested.
All the best, Janus
Don
Janus–this old lady sez that if they need time to get on their feet, fine, but they should be chipping into the family coffers, and if they can’t afford that, then they d–n well ought to be doing their own laundry and helping with food prep and clean-up, at a minimum. I also blame the parents who are afraid to ask these kids to help out. They won’t learn to be responsible if you don’t expect them to be.
They don’t leave home, they don’t clean their room and they leave wet towels on the bathroom floor.
Thanks Hammer,
God damned wet towels on the floor is the worst. How they hell do they expect them to dry if they are balled up in the corner? Thank God I don’t share my bathroom with anyone.
All the best
Don
Don, there is a mathematical equation out there for people like you.
Nail + on the head = Where people like Mr. Don Mills hit
I couldn’t agree more. In fact, I once dated a guy who had immigrated from Central America (somewhere in the centre of it, don’t recall the exact location), and things were going great until he told me he was living at home until he came to Canada at the age of 20.
I was like- “Dude! You lived at home until you were 20?”
He was like- “Yes, my Grandparents lived there too…”
I was like- “WTF?”
We broke up shortly thereafter. I mean, its one thing to live with your parents when you are an adult, but to live with your parents parents? That’s just not cool. Turns out it was a cultural/family values/poverty thing…but still, a girl has to have her limits.
Too bad, though, like my BFF would say he was a real looker.
Anyway, keep speading the gospel according to Don, Don.
bschooled
Thank you Bschooled,
Nice to hear from a young woman who enjoys mathematics. It’s all too rare. My wife, Aggie, was a whiz with the numbers. She balanced our cheque book every single month and had us on a damned tight budget. I have to admit that since she’s been gone the “Mill’s household bookkeeping” standard has slipped significantly.
I don’t know much about Central America but I do own a fine panama hat.
I think you made the right choice with your young beau. Family values, poverty and cultural norms sound like poor excuses for lazy behavior. I feel sorry for his damned grandparents but am sure they’re happy to see him gone.
Take care,
Don
ya and your superficial expectations will keep all your cats good company. this is a messed up time, you are going with some superficial society beliefs that aren’t even alive anymore. it is quite common and smart to save some $$ before going out on your own.. and in the case of the unemployment and all your illegal immigrant boyfriends hording work and locking down positions when they hit managers so they can bring in more illegals .. well we young adult american citizens are up against a wall.. develop a heart.. and a brain. thanks!
Great post, Don. Although I think 16 is too young to move out of the house (and I believe it’s illegal unless the teenager emancipates himself/herself), I truly dislike when people are living with their parents past 20 (unless in college of course).
I just turned 18, which you probably remember in a comment from a previous post, and I’m leaving to college this September! I’ll be back on holidays and in the summer, but after college I’m most likely going to move out and never live with my mom or dad again. Good thing too, as the older I get, it seems even harder to live here (that goes for both my dad AND me, haha). I can’t imagine how some parents/children put up with it.
Once again,
Gerard
I’m with you on this one, Gerard. For that matter, once you get your first taste of freedom, you won’t want to come back. Plan on getting your own place your junior year or so, just so you won’t have to return during breaks.
Once again, Mr. Mills, you’ve managed to convey one of the many problems with my generation. Keep up the good work!
Justin
Nice to see you, Justin, and thanks for the kind words.
Regards,
Don
Many thanks Gerard,
I have no idea how people can tolerate living with their adult children. It’s no accident that the phrase “adult children” is a damned oxymoron. The whole notion is about as moronic as it gets.
I wish you all the luck at college Gerard. Enjoy your summer and be ready to hit those books hard come fall.
All the best,
Don
Back in the day living at “home” even as an adult meant living under parental rule which meant being treated like a child. It took me some time but I moved out despite poverty and no transportation. I had to move back in for a short while some time later–it was a nightmare–and I left as soon as I could. Parents of the old school weren’t “cool” to be around like these “modern” parents today. These parents treat their children like friends and do not get any respect at all.
I agree downcastmysoul,
The modern young people parents are as much to blame as the sprogs they are mollycoddling.
Glad you were able to strike on your own, young lady.
All the best,
Don
Too funny. I will be back to read more!
Many thanks Kate (a damned fine name by the way).
Looking forward to hearing from you again.
Don
Dear Don,
Personally, I will be ready to have my own life at some point, and that involves my children living somewhere else and paying their own bills. At the same time. I can’t kick them out too hard because I want to make their lives hell when I’m really old. I have to keep guilt on my side.
An interesting approach, Claire.
My Aggie likely would have agreed with you.
All the best,
Don
no wonder why i can’t get rid of my bastard offspring. i did things ass-backwards! i moved to floriduhhh and then i gave birth to him. we don’t even have basements here, so i have to look at him once in a while! oh, the horror!
Thanks Nonnie,
You obviously didn’t read the manual.
The only upside I can see is that without a basement to hide himself away in he may have no choice but to slink out the door in search of darker pastures. If he does, sell the damned house and move to Maine. That’s my advice.
Best regards,
Don
Move to Maine! That’s what my parents did! Now I understand why.
I don’t have kids, but I’m going downstairs to bust a water pipe and flood my basement just to make sure some kids from the neighborhood don’t move in after their parents take your advice.
A sound plan, Zeusiswatching.
Those young people could descend at any time. Wise to be prepared.
Thanks for visiting.
Don
I not only left home at 17, I emigrated. Alone.
However, I’m embarrassed to say that my eldest son left home at 18 but four years later I moved in with HIM.
I’m now the mother who won’t leave home. Though I wouldn’t try this caper with my other (straight) son – he’d kick me out on my ear.
Thanks Nursemyra,
An interesting twist there and some poetic justice as well. For a full role reversal, however, you’ll need to play loud rock music at 3 a.m., borrow his car liberally and eat the young man out of house and home.
Nice to see you,
Don
“it was considered cruel to make them endure young people a day longer then required by law”.
now that’s classic don!
Thank you Lynn,
I’m hoping “classic don” is a good thing. It sure wasn’t when my wife Aggie used to say it. I’d forget an appointment or lose my car keys and she’d just shake her head, wag her finger at me and say it was “classic Don.”
Always nice to see you Lynn. Thanks for visiting.
Don
It’s even worse in Spain where most young people are not expected to leave home until they get married, so it’s not uncommon for 30-40 year olds to still be living with parents and having mother cook for them, do their washing & ironing, clean their rooms, etc.
No wonder they don’t get married. Who’d want to get hitched to someone who can’t fry an egg or wash their own socks?
I left home at 16, got a part-time job so I could finish highschool, and have been looking after myself ever since.
An aside. I thought of you this morning when I was on the bus and saw two young guys offer their seats to two older gentlemen who had just got on. I turned to my friend and said, “I bet Donald would enjoy hearing about this”.
Thank you azahar,
That’s a damned heartening story about the bus. When I take the local 54B I end up standing next to the pregnant women and infirm while the teenagers take up three seats with their gigantic pants and huge backpacks.
All the best, son.
Don
Son?
Sorry Azahar,
I just visited your “about me page” and must now apologize for my assumption. Regrettably, it isn’t the first time. I made the same mistake with downcastmysoul and a whole host of others.
All the best, lass, and again sorry for the mistake.
Don
No worries. My real name (Shawn) causes even more confusion. And I can’t expect everyone to know that azahar means orange blossom – at least I think that would be a gender indicator.
Thanks for your understanding, Azahar.
I see you’ve lived in Winnipeg, Toronto, Bristol and Salamanca! Quite a variety. Back when I was working, I spent a couple of weeks in Winnipeg and I used to get to Toronto quite often. Can’t say I’ve ever been to Bristol or Salananca, though.
All the best,
Don
I agree 100%. However; I think a good form of punishing these people is to make them live with their parents their entire lives. When their parents die, the children will suffer because they don’t know how to live alone. This will teach them.
An excellent idea, Mr Heare.
Perhaps serious offenders (the hardened layabouts, with the saggiest-assed trousers) could be sent to live with Mr. Mills?
He would doubtless enjoy sharing the benefit of his many and varied experiences with these young rapscallions, whilst also feeding and clothing them, as per your suggestion.
My God, Ahmnodt, I hope you’re not serious. The only ones suffering will be the old folks that are stuck with these damned overgrown pups until the day they die. Kick their asses out at 16 and wash your hands of them. It’s the only way.
And, Nobby, you damn near made me spit my rye all over the computer screen. That will be quite enough of that kind of talk, thank you very much.
Jesus, my heart’s beating like a rabbit.
Don
I couldn’t agree more, Donfather.
The only thing that comforts me (and hopefully thousands of millions others) is that adultss that still live at home probably get less sex than a pregnant cat in an elephant cage. Thank god we have you, Donald, and Karma to set this life straight.
Sail freely,
Frankelstache
Thank you Frankelstache,
I hope you’re right but I’m not so sure…those damned young people are serious about their fornication and will go to great lengths to get it, even if they are living under their parents’ roof.
You sail freely as well, son.
Don
The trick is to have a 10pm curfew and perform a field sobriety test. When my balled up wet towel teenager turned 18, I made her life even more miserable by demanding rent. She now lives with her boyfriend who still lives with his mother.
Thank you Tricia,
A damned fine approach. I’d consider changing it to 9 p.m. but beyond that – a solid strategy.
Thanks for visiting.
Don
Oh noes! I still live at home with Mum, but thats her choice not mine! She misses me so whenever i say that id like to live out there or even next door!
So i stay with mum and ill be here for a long time to come, but i make sure i pay my way by doing a large amount of chores.
Ive always wanted a Racecar bed, but mum says that it would stimulate me too much at night when im supposed to sleep.
I hope you’re having a great weekend, Mr Mills!
Bob
Many thanks Bob.
There will always be special cases, Bob, and special young people like yourself.
You listen to your mother, Bob, and stay near to home. It would likely be unsafe for you to venture out on your own and I’d hate to see anything untoward happen to you. (Your most recent date is a fine example of the kind of mischief you could get into without the firm and guiding hand of your mother.)
You stay put, Bob. You’re the exception that proves the damned rule.
All the best, son.
Don
HOORAY! Thats great because i love living with my mum as well. Its Win-Win!
as you said, id just end up getting into mischief and mayhem like all those young people out there and thats just not acceptable!
Bob
I actually went one better, Don. Shortly before my 18th birthday, my parents announced they were planning on moving the family 1200 miles north to the middle of nowhere.
I told them I’d stay. So, in essence, my family moved out when I was 18.
On second thought, this actually sounds like one worse. Either way, you make a good point.
Many thanks CLT,
In my view it doesn’t matter who packs the bags as long as their is a decent break at a decent age.
Still, I have to wonder what kind of trouble you were getting into that would require your parents to pack up and move 1200 miles to the middle of nowhere.
Best regards,
Don
I told them I wanted to start blogging. They left immediately.
I left home at 16 and worked part-time jobs to pay my rent in the rooming house and finish high school. Then it was off to the navy for 30 years.
When my son graduated high school and was accepted at a university, I bought him a set of Orvis luggage. . . I bought myself a new set of Schlage locks for the house. He is now a successful businessman, married and owns his own home.
I did a variation of the room and board rooming house thing: even that was better than living at home!
Many thanks MCPO Airdale,
That’s a fine story and an example more families should follow. I salute you sir.
Regards
Don
Hello again Don,
Couldn’t agree with you more. That Norman Bates should have moved out years ago.
Take care of yourself.
Oh, by the way; Mondrian was a painter who liked to paint pictures consisting mainly of straight lines, rectangles and squares. Hope I’m not teaching you to suck eggs.
Mike
Thank you Mike.
Appreciate the comment.
I’ll be honest, you lost me halfway through. I don’t recall a prior reference to any Mondrian (but I’ve been a little off my game lately. Some new medication and it’s playing Hell with my memory).
I knew a Larry Mondario back in the 1950’s but he wasn’t a painter, he was a CPA (and not a very good one.)
Let me know if I’ve missed something here, Mike.
Thanks
Don
Hello Don,
Regarding the Mondrian mystery. A little while back I likened your chair to a picture by one Piet Mondrian; “Broadway Boogie-Woogie” comes to mind.
I rather regret it all now, as it makes you look tremendously uncultured, and me a pretentious, smart-ass, arty-farty, toffee nosed nancy boy. (Feel free to interrupt).
Au revoir!
Thanks for jogging my memory Mike.
And you’re right, it paints us both in a poor light. That’s why i stick to “Garfield” references for both literature and fine art. It’s universally recognized and damned funny too. That cat has a Hell of a chip on his shoulder.
Au revoir to you as well.
Don
“If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupider.”
-Garfield
Since we’re talkin’ chairs here, I likened your chair to the dad’s chair on Frasier–a popular show here in the US. Only your chair is more retro. It needs some color, though; maybe green and purple.
Read this post and…
I locked the doors the other night when both of my sons, 18 and 19 yo were out skateboarding, pulled the drapes and kicked back knowing full well that a few days on the street would expose them to the reality of self reliance on their life after home.
Have not seen them since.
Now I’m the one who feels guilty about what I have done yet hopeful they are ok.
Their friends tell me they are downtown living under the bridge and I am going down there tomorrow and see how they are doing.
Tough love? Bad decision? I really need the Barcalounger King’s help on this one
Thanks for visiting Russ,
My dear wife, Aggie, was the one for handing out advice – I tend to just provide opinions – but I’ll see what I can do.
Sounds to me like the lads are having an adventure. Sleeping under the stars, foraging for food, fighting off predators. It’s probably the first time they’ve lived off their wits in order to scrape by. I’d say you’re doing them a huge favour and that in a few years time they will god damned thank you for it.
Hold the course Russ. Keep the door locked, the lights out and your chin up. You’re making men of them.
All the best and good luck,
Don
I left home at 18 and in fact moved out of the state. I did live in a basement of someone I didn’t know though…I paid rent. Kids these days!
Damned straight Mr. Jelly.
I had you pegged as a good lad the day I made your acquaintance.
All the best,
Don
Mr. Mills,
When I ventured out on my own it was rough. Small town southern girl moves to the capitol city and damn near FREAKS OUT. My dear Mom would lovingly tell me ” Why, you just come on home honey and I’ll put up the baby bed” That threat of that baby bed kept me out there and made me the functioning adult I am today.
God bless you and God bless Mom.
Thank you Reva,
You made the right choice there, lass. Good on you.
And God bless you as well.
Don
im 25 and would never want to move back home! my parents are old and don’t understand me. always like, “why are you smoking so much?” “why do you spend money you dont have?” “why are you snorting sugar off a mirror?” its just not worth the headache.
Oh whatever, you’re just a crazed ol man who wants to live back in your day.
It’s 2009 b!tches so why not live with your folks till they kick you out? less bills to pay. Especially when you haven’t even made it to a full-time on-air personality in radio. shit radio doesn’t pay anything. that’s my plan anyway.
Oh sorry about the swearing (that’s the problem with young people today), lol
hope ya have a good day.
-kyle
Ya, I, like, totally agree. When I was living at my sisters house for fourteen years, her damn kids wouldn’t move out. They were, like, twenty-five and twenty-six. I told them that, as the oldest living male in the house (me), they should obey their elder (again, me) , but they just laughed and kicked my ass. I’m telling ya: NO RESPECT!
I would mostly agree with you, though there are some circumstances where it is alright.
Perhaps you can give a talk to my parents! Their over-protectiveness traditional Asian values and guilt-tripping ways is suffocating me at their place. I’m 23 years old, I was completely on my own for a while due to school, but had to move back in with them due to a situation, and now they won’t let me go where I want. It has to be their way or none now, and I have no intention of going where they want me to go or living the way they want me to live. I am completely capable of supporting myself and acting responsibly (not to mention frugally), but hesitate to move where I want (1,000+ miles away) because of all the tears and tyranny my parents direct my way. My folks are looking to control me (or is it smother me with love?), but I love them and want to be their good child too. So, I’m in limbo and I’m going crazy! Just wanted to get that out.
As a young person myself, twenty one, to be exact, I have to be honest and say that I am still living with my parents. However, I have been doing this while I am going to college and working.
I don’t intend to stay with them as long as I can, actually. For that matter, we are selling the house and I will probably be out on my own within two months. I’m sure it won’t be easy – I don’t have the security I did with my parents, but I know that living on one’s own is an enlightening experience, and it is in fact the gateway to the real world. You can’t truly experience the real world until you are taking care of yourself.
I have a stepfather whose brother is still living with his mother, who is now so old that she can barely support herself, much less him. He has been living this way for so long that he cannot take care of himself at all. He can barely microwave his own food. It is truly a sad state of affairs. This is the product of what you speak of. I can’t even have any respect for this man who can’t do a thing for himself besides sit on his ass, drink Pepsi, eat potato chips, and watch hockey.