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God Damned Gambling Young People Drive Me Batty!

The problem with young people today is that they gamble.

When I was a boy, gambling was considered a vice. Our old dads would play poker one Friday a month but it wasn’t about money – it was just an excuse to get away from their families, drink whiskey and smoke cigars.

The only gamble a young person made was when we selected a spouse. And that was just because we were 18 at the time, barely knew the person we were marrying and didn’t believe in divorce.

But these young people today, they gamble something fierce. They bet on sporting matches, play on-line card games and buy lottery tickets by the gross.  You’d think they’d be satisfied with drug and alcohol addiction but apparently that’s not enough for them anymore.

I spent my allowance on a Squirrel Nut Zipper or a shiny new comic book, not on lottery tickets and an appealing 7-point spread on Sunday’s football match. If I wanted to double my money I took a second job, I didn’t pin my 12-year old hopes on drawing to an inside straight in a game of Texas Hold’em.

I see the damned young people down at the 7-Eleven going through scratch lotto cards faster than a fat kid goes through a new pack of Skittles.  They stand at the counter all hopped up on the gambling bug and forking over their parents’ hard earned cash. They’re wagering their future on pipe dreams and easy money – firm in the belief that lady luck will ultimately triumph over hard work.

If I had ever frittered away my quarters on a loser’s bet I’d would have been the odds on favorite to get an ass-whipping from my old dad. He’d have “scratched” the hide off of my behind with his belt and turned up three matching welts.

If I were a betting man, I’d wager that young people today are in for a Hell of an awakening when they realize that the only get rich quick scheme that is really going to work for them is a decent education, a 50 hour work week and a compound interest savings account.

And I’ll give you to 10 to 1 odds that time will prove me right.

They gamble. That’s the problem with young people today.

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48 Comments leave one →
  1. 8:16 pm

    Didn’t you play with milk caps back in the day? Wasn’t that like gambling?

    And, what’s the deal with you reading comics?!? Aren’t they all made by the devil?

    • 1:22 am

      Come on now Deathinfrance,

      I never played with milk caps but even if I did there’s no way in Hell you could tell me that it is in anyway comparable to those poisionous scratch lotto tickets.

      The Devil didn’t make my Superman comic but I’m pretty sure he’s the pointy-bearded menance behind those damned “scratch three melons and your a winner” tickets.

      Thanks for stopping in.

      Don

      p.s. While I am confident that Lucifer played no role in the creation of my Superman comic; I can’t provide the same assurance for any comic book or comic book character created after 1946. In fact, I’m guessing you may be correct about his involvement. That Mad Magazine always struck me as vaguely Satanic.

      • 1:54 pm

        I always get the same feeling when I see Gingers, soulless buggers.

        Personally I was always a Cracked fan, but I think they started in 1953 so it was after your time.

  2. 8:33 pm

    Yeah! When I was young the only gamble I took was putting a roll of caps in my cap gun. One mistep and I could’ve lost a finger or two. These kids today are on a road to ruin with all of the risk taking and smug attitudes. Just sayin’

  3. downcastmysoul permalink
    8:39 pm

    I only gambled when my senior citizen FATHER gave me the money to put in the slot machine. I don’t as much as buy a lottery ticket since even if I buy “crap” like a pair of earrings I can see and touch them and most lottery tickets are good enough to go into the loo. Back in the day, gambling was limited to Las Vegas and now “legalized” gambling is everywhere and the gambling “lifestyle” is too. What makes me ill is that the majority of the people who gamble around here are senior citizens looking to make the “jackpot” on the slots.

    • 1:34 am

      Thanks Downcastmysoul,

      I’m going to shock you here young lady but I have to admit that you’re right, seniors aren’t entirely exempt from this gambling bug. In fact, where I am, they have a “cash for life” lotto and I recently saw one old dear (she had to be 102) snatching up a handful of tickets.

      Cash for life? She didn’t look like she’d last to the draw date and even if she did and WON, the total “life” payout would likely be less than the cost of the ticket itself.

      But, she was old, and was just having a lark I suppose. She’d earned the right and I doubt gambling was a problem for her. But when I see the young people snapping up lottery tickets and gambling all over the place it just seems to me that they are so bound and determined that they can “beat the odds” and be successful without any real investment that it just makes me angry.

      I could go on, but I’ve forgotten what point I was trying to make and need a glass of whatever.

      Thanks for visiting, downcastmysoul,

      Don

  4. 8:58 pm

    Too right, Don. There’s far too much gambling amongst kids these days.

    I pray every night for the Lord (orLordess) to intervene and put a stop to it

    [the more we can wean today's youngsters off gambling, the better the odds of me winning the lottery !!! ]

    • 1:41 am

      Good to hear from you Dunanr.

      I have to admit, that was partly my thinking too. I don’t partake often but once in a blue moon I’ll ask Hattie to pick me up a State Lotto ticket.

      I don’t like foolish dreams but sometimes I imagine winning and surrounding my house with a 12 foot electrified fence topped with razor wire. I’d spluge for a megahorn too so I could yell at the young folks without leaving my chair.

      Nice to see you. All the best to the other Hatters.

      Don

  5. 12:21 am

    Don…hey crabbie one you are way off line..gambling was huge back in the day everything from making book to the track…to casinos cards and all…..gambling is less of a vice now then it was..lets not forget your generation started the gambling vice so dont think your an angel there old man…Zman sends

    • 1:47 am

      I don’t think so Zman.

      I admit that there was some gambling in my day. My old dad may have slipped off to the track once a year and some of his friends may have done it more often but it’s not like today.

      10 year old kids didn’t get scratch cards in their christmas stockings and they weren’t for sale at the same place we bought our candy bars.

      I’m no damned social worker but I’d be willing to bet my best blue sweater vest that there are more teenagers with gambling problems now than there has ever been before.

      And I don’t think my generation invented gambling either. I suspect that may go back as for as the late 1800s. Maybe even earlier!

      Now I’m all worked up again, Zman. Damn it.

      Good to see you, son.

      Don

      • Ironcowboy permalink
        6:17 pm

        Hey dipshit,
        Just so you know, you have to be 18 to buy a lotto ticket, so there goes your img of all those 10 year old kids out spending their mowing money on them…
        I agree with most of your stuff, but get your facts straight!

  6. 1:05 am

    if they really want to gamble, they should all hang around on your lawn. let’s see how lucky they feel!

    • 1:49 am

      Jesus, Nonnie, don’t tempt fate. I just overseeded.

      But if they tried, your damn right, they’d get an earful from me. An even money bet there.

      All the best,

      Don

  7. Gerard permalink
    1:14 am

    I’ve gotta agree with you on this one, Don. I’m actually turning 18 in 3 hours, so I haven’t really had an opportunity to gamble much, but I know that I won’t ever do it.

    My uncle says that the lottery is a tax on people who don’t understand math.

    Hell, I don’t even “bet” on arguments. For example, somebody bets $20 that a friend’s dog’s name is “Spot.” I know for a fact that the dog’s name is “Sparky.” I could make $20 out of something that small and easy, but I never do it.

    For the record, I’ve never met a dog named either Spot or Sparky.

    Gambling leads to all sorts of problems, and not only personal ones. Everybody loses if you ask me.

    Gerard

    • 1:53 am

      Happy Birthday, Gerard! All the best for the day and for your 18th year.

      Your uncle is a smart man, Gerard, and you can tell him I said so. He’s absolutely right and so are you. Well done.

      And for the record, I’ve known many dogs named both Spot and Sparky. My experience has been that you can trust a Spot but that a Sparky will bite as soon as look at you.

      Happy Birthday lad. Enjoy yourself (but not too much).

      Don

    • Lily permalink
      2:22 am

      HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Gerard. I hope you have a wonderful day.

    • Gerard permalink
      3:51 am

      Thanks, Don and Lily 8-)

  8. 1:57 am

    Do you know what a cap gun is? It has nothing to do with milk caps, although I remember those too. I feel somewhat slighted by your blowoff of my comment. Hurt maybe!

    • 2:14 am

      God damn it but you young people are sensitive.

      Blowoff? What the hell are you talking about? One minute you’re talking about blowing off your fingers with a cap gun and now you’re saying I’m blowing you off with my comments.

      Look, son, I just happened to agree with your comment and didn’t have a whole lot to add. I thought you summed it up well.

      Their smug attitudes make me crazy too. It’s one of the things I dislike most in a young person.

      Anyway, now I’m damned hurt.

      But, look, I’m sorry if you felt I gave you short shrift. I did appreciate the comment. Sometimes “damned straight” is all a man has to say.

      All the best,

      Don

      p.s. And, yes, I had a cap gun too. Loved my cap gun. One of the best toys a boy can have.

  9. Lily permalink
    2:43 am

    Dear Don,

    I am not a fan of gambling in any shape or form and it grieves me to see so many young people taking up this evil vice.

    One wonders if it is partly due to the fact that young people are so boring and lead such boring lives, that they find the thrill of gambling so attractive?

    In my day, we got our thrills and spills from embarking on true adventures and taking all manner of risk, like exploring caves for treasures, climbing down cliffs and ravines, sailing 12 miles out to sea in a tin boat to go fishing, building dodgy forts and bridges, rigging ropes across wild rivers and swinging to the otherside and digging tunnels under the neighbour’s fence.

    But no, young people these days wouldn’t know what an adventure was if it poked them in the eye with a burnt stick.

    Lily Fossil

    • 8:20 pm

      I think you are absolutely right Lily. I think it is a combination of their boring lives and their insistance that every “need” be gratified immediately.

      Our childhoods sound very similiar, Lily. While we didn’t do much sailing, my friends and I would leave our houses at first light and spend the day in the local “ravine” cutting trails, building forts and making rope swings. They were damned fine days.

      Thanks

      Don

  10. 2:50 am

    When I was a kid back in the 70’s I used to bet with my 4 brothers after we’d played soccer for hours on the streets. The loser had to be the last one to get a shower when we were back home.

    Young people today will shower once a week on their way back to school [on a raining day...]

    • 2:52 am

      ops.. I meant: their way back FROM school…

    • 8:14 pm

      Thanks Ivan. Always good to see you lad.

      And you’re right about the questionable hygiene. My mother scrubbed us raw when we were young. A subject for another day, perhaps.

      Thanks

      Don

  11. Friar permalink
    5:54 am

    @Don

    As you mentioned above, seniors aren’t’ exempt from gambling.

    I live in a small town, and every week you see the same old folks showing up and the convenience store, cashing in their 25 lottery tickets. 2 bucks here, 5 bucks there. They might walk away with 30 bucks…the whole transaction takes 15 minutes. Meanwhile, all I want to do is buy a paper and leave.

    Anyway, nothing wrong with playing the lottery once in a while. But to win 30 bucks…I’m wondering how much money you’d probably have to shell out? Hundreds, no doubt. Is this how they spend their pension checks?

    Of course, it’s none of my business, but I’m concerned, as these seniors look a bit shabbily dressed and poorly fed. I’m wondering if they’re playing too much lotto and living beyond their means.

    Maybe next time I see them, I’ll refer them to your blog. You have a good head on your shoulders, perhaps they could use some of your advice.

    • 8:08 pm

      Thanks Friar,

      I can’t speak for the seniors in your neck of the woods but if they are shabby looking it’s likely because they’ve had the spirit beaten out of them by young people.

      And it’s true. We like to take our time at the counter. (We actually do it on purpose, just knowing it drives the young people crazy. It’s immature but we really get a kick out of it.)

      As always, nice to see you Friar.

      Don

      • Friar permalink
        3:17 am

        Don

        Taking time at the counter…so you DO admit you old folks do it on purpose!

        You know, I always suspected as much!

        Well, when I get to that age, I think I’m going to do the same God-Damned thing.

        Just to keep up the tradition going.

        (So I can watch the youngster get agitated.)

  12. 8:12 am

    Precious Don,

    I strongly agree with your relentless efforts to put some sense into these kids. Their underdeveloped brains are clearly poisoned by vile messages delivered to them by this horrific VH1 world, and hell yeah I am proud you’re here to stand up for education, hard work and the opposite of cutting corners.

    Reading this post had reminded me that if I were a betting man, I’d put my money on the Donfather.

    Keep facilitating,

    Frankelstache

  13. 8:35 pm

    If they’re going to gamble, the least they could do is play something with real odds, like Russian roulette. Christopher Walken did, so you know it’s cool.

    The added benefit of thinning the herd can’t be overestimated.

  14. 1:50 am

    Ok, I’m sorry. But some times you old folks need a little slap to wake you up. Did I get your elderly heart racing?

    I really did feel slighted and maybe it has something to do with my same inability at that moment to have something witty to say.

    Alright folks, nothing to see here. Eyes on the road and move on.

    • 7:59 pm

      A slap to wake us up? Jesus, Russrealname, smacking old people into consciousness is a touchy subject with me and one that usually falls under the broad header of “elder abuse.”

      So…yes, you’re damned right you got the old heart racing. And that can be dangerous when you get to be my age.

      All the best,

      Don

  15. 4:24 am

    Don,
    Once they get the drinking problem, then the drug problem, there is no choice left but to get a gambling problem to support the drug and alcohol problems!

    Speaking of which, I swear I saw you yanking the one armed bandit down at the Flying Eagle Indian Casino on the edge of town.

    • 7:53 pm

      Thanks Claire,

      It’s a pathetic spiral straight to Hell and that’s for damned sure. A shame really.

      And you can be assured it wasn’t me you saw down that the Flying Eagle. Must have been some other good looking old man.

      Nice to see you.

      Don

  16. 6:29 am

    LOL. Very funny. My wife and I live near a casino. We use to play the slots a lot until we wised up and realized that we would do just as good if we threw the money out of our car window on the way there. Now that there is a baby on the way there is no chance of gambling.

    • 7:51 pm

      Glad to hear you’ve come to your senses, Eric. Having a sprog will do that to a man.

      Hope the pregnancy is progressing well, son.

      Don

  17. 11:05 am

    holy moses!

    im not allowed to gamble. like you, my mum thinks that its a bad thing.

    i went to a casino once to see how everything was and i didnt understand what to do, so i just left there and went to the cinemas! LOSTL! IT WAS A GRAND DAY ALL THE SAME!

    whats a squirrel nut zipper?

    Have a great weekend, sir!

    Bob

    • Friar permalink
      4:22 pm

      I’d like to know the same thing.

      What IS a squirrel nut zipper?

      • 7:50 pm

        Thanks Bob and Friar,

        A squirrel nut zipper is an old time caramal and peanut candy. I used to love them.

        I tried to look them up on the Google but it appears a bunch of young people stole the name and used it for a rock and roll band. So that was all I could find.

        All the best.

        Don

        • 4:26 am

          i have heard of the Squirrel Nut Zippers, which is why i was asking!

          LOSTL! YOU CANT EAT A BAND!

          I didnt think they were the Rock and Rolls as my friend Timmy says they’re part Swing! Just not the big band type. Its no Tommy Dorsey!

          Bob

  18. Janus permalink
    3:43 am

    I have lived in Las Vegas for quite a couple of years now so I know exactly what you’re talking about. They might as well burn cash over there because I see a lot of homeless people on the street nowadays. It’s sad and gives me a good reason to never go near a slot machine. Ever.

  19. YellowRoses610 permalink
    2:11 am

    I agree it’s mostly a waste, I only gamble on my abilities, thank you very much, infact I have a bet going with a friend named John that I can cross dress and pass for a gentleman, to the total of twenty dollars.

    Taking a gamble,
    Rose.

  20. 4:22 am

    I would’ve thought you’d WANT more people for your senior night Bingo parties. Ah well, even I make mistakes from time to time.

    Nice post,

    Dubba Tubba

  21. 3:12 am

    I’m 15 and no one I know gambles. It’s probably because my friends are too smart to gamble, or everyone else is too dumb to know how.

  22. 7:27 pm

    In my opinion ( oh wait, I’m 15 I shouldn’t have one). So…
    Really what I have noticed is that gambling begins so much earlier than the age you can buy a lotto ticket. Look at all those stupid game arcade places, you have 6 year olds in there slotting coin after coin (or those new fancy pre-paid swiping cards) into those stupid ‘skill’ games and you end up paying $10 for one piece of crumby candy! Absolutely ridiculous! And it’s still gambling, all these terrible influences on our young today need to be stopped before they are all gambling-addicted, homeless, unemployed idiots.

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