God Damned Teenagers and Their Ridiculous Nicknames Make Me Crazy!
The problem with young people today is that they have ridiculous nicknames.
Back in my day, young people had sensible nicknames like “Shorty” or “Red” or “Spanky” and “Buckwheat.” Solid, dependable nicknames that you could count on to see you through the good times and the bad. Nicknames that would last you a lifetime.
But these young people today, they have nicknames like “DXMST,” “DJ Ice Dam” and “Pee Diddly.” God damned ridiculous names that sound like acronyms for the space program, chemical compounds or the tail end of a rude limerick.
They’ve driven the Buick out of Stupidville and arrived safely in Assclown County, folks. I mean really, if I had ever asked my old dad to call me “Phat A” he would have brained me with a pair of ice tongs and changed my nickname to “that idiot boy.” And he’d have been right to do it.
Just what the Hell do they think they are accomplishing with these stupid handles. How idiotic must you be to think that calling yourself Fed X is going to give you more credibility and get you more respect.
Sorry kids but changing your name from Greg to “Tre Fierce” doesn’t make you a gangster or change the fact that you’re a 110 pound lactose intolerant sophomore with acne, no girlfriend and a lateral lisp.
It’s a god damned national disgrace and it better change soon. If our young people keep up with this nonsense our fine country will become the laughing stock of the free world.
Well, when that day comes, you can call me “Stone Cold Embarrassed as Hell.”
They have ridiculous nicknames. That’s the problem with young people today.